kennfessions

The good, the bad, and the terrifyingly true

[kennfessions]

I am a fantastic lay. I get myself off every time.

The Humble Hoe

[kennfessions]

The best way to get back into the game is not to call it "the game"

The Sports Junkie

[kennfessions]

I'm gay but get homophobic at the gym.

The Self-conscious Squatter

[kennfessions]

I got an offer to grow a beard and investigate health problems in a Co-op.

Undercover Junk Food Lover

[kennfessions]

My phone just changed "chez moi" to "chez moo". Not eating the rest of the day.

Fat French Speaker

[kennfessions]

I saw a happy gay couple next to me and I drunkenly farted on them.

Every single gay

[kennfessions]

I got some apricot facewash in my mouth and I didn't hate it.

The Hungry Hygienist 

[kennfessions]

You can't masturbate out crazy.

The Horny Serial Dater

[kennfessions]

Is wanting to put your fist in someone's mouth sexually a sign of 26?

The Masochist 

[kennfessions]

Monday's

When had toast for breakfast. Feel a crumb in your bra and smile thinking back to a delicious breakfast.

[kennfessions]

I left my vibrator on all night. Woke up and my bed was vibrating. I feel like singing Lionel Ritchie.

Grateful single woman

[kennfessions]

I think Kendall Jenner doesn't like North, only Penelope.

Loyal North West instagram follower

[kennfessions]

Daily Kennfession

I don't think I'll ever say sofa. Couch just rolls off the tongue.

[kennfessions]

New Years Kennfession

Reading on a Saturday night before midnight isn't as bad as your 21 year old self thought it would be.

[wnq-writers]

You don’t miss him, darling. You miss the memories.

mrssandycheeks (via wnq-writers)

Truth

[kennfessions]

The only reason me and this guy have chemistry is because he likes vodka and we both hate Australians.

The discerning dater

[kennfessions]

Overheard in a law school seminar

Basic girl 1: Those frat boys are so mean!

Basic girl 2: Oh no those aren't frat boys... they're just gay!