EVER CHANGING.

ind. sel. mikado ryugamine. as led by emmanuel. est. sept. 27, 2017. sideblog to terrahelion.

[izacelty]

[keptevolving]

HAVE YOU EVERS, MUSE EDITION. ( repost, don’t reblog )

tagged by: @ningenus   tagging: @virdihelion, @lifewilled, @saiichii.

APPEARANCE: [] I am shorter than 5'4". [] I tan easily. [] I wish my hair was a different color. [] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color. [] I have a tattoo. [] I wear glasses ( shades, but yes ) [] I would probably get plastic surgery if it were 100 percent safe, free of cost, and scar-free. [] I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger. [] I have more than 1 piercing. [] I have piercings in places besides my ears. [] I have freckles. FAMILY: [] I’ve run away from home. [] I’ve been kicked out of the house. [ ✔ ] My biological parents are together. [] I have a sibling less than one year old. [] I want to have kids someday. [] I want to adopt someday. SCHOOL/WORK: [ ✔ ] I’m in school. [] I have a job. [] I’ve fallen asleep at work/school. [ ✔ ] I almost always do my homework. [ ✔ ] I’ve missed a week or more of school. [] I failed more than 1 class last year. [] I’ve stolen something from my school. EMBARRASSMENT: [ ✔ ] I’ve fallen in public. [] I’ve slipped out a “lol” in a spoken conversation. [] Disney movies still make me cry. [] I’ve snorted while laughing. [ ✔ ] I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried. [] I’ve glued my hand to something. [] I’ve laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose. HEALTH: [] I was born with a disease/impairment. [] I’ve broken a bone. [] I’ve had my tonsils removed. []I’ve sat in a doctors office with a friend. [] I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed. [ ✔ ] I had a serious surgery. [] I’ve had chicken pox. [] I have/had asthma. EXPERIENCES: [ ✔ ] I’ve gotten lost in my city [ ✔ ] I’ve wished on a shooting star. [] I’ve seen a meteor shower. [] I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas. [] I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator. [] I’ve kicked a guy where it hurts. [] I’ve been skydiving. [] I’ve gone skinny dipping. [] I’ve played spin the bottle. [] I’ve drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour. [] I’ve crashed a car. [] I’ve been skiing. []I’ve been in a play. [ ✔ ] I’ve met someone in person from the internet. [] I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue. [ ✔ ] I’ve sat on a roof top. [] I’ve played a prank on someone. [ ✔ ] I’ve rode in a taxi. [ ✔ ]I’ve eaten Sushi. [] I’ve been snowboarding. RELATIONSHIPS: [] I’ve gone on a blind date. [ ✔ ] I miss someone right now. [] I have a fear of abandonment. [] I’ve gotten divorced. [] I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t. [ ✔ ] I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did. [ ✔ ] I’ve told someone I loved them and didn’t get a clear response. [ ✔ ] I’ve felt rejected even if I wasn’t. [ ✔ ] I’ve loved someone I knew a friend was already in love with. HONESTY: [ ✔ ] I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t. [ ✔] I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t. [] I’ve snuck out of my house. [ ✔ ] I am keeping a secret from the world. [] I’ve cheated while playing a game. [] I’ve cheated on a test. [] I’ve been suspended from school. BAD TIMES: [ ✔ ] I shut others out when I’m depressed. [] I’ve self harmed [ ✔ ] I’ve tried to commit suicide [ ✔ ] I’ve slept an entire day, when I didn’t need it. [ ✔ ] I’ve went to bed crying

[keptevolving]

lmao i got an ask asking why i didn’t follow back. in case u didn’t read the sidebar or my rules or anything, this is still a sideblog n i can’t follow back from this blog. 

[fvckrender]

F_ALLEY// Day 630

[mothersins]

HEY, WHAT’S UP WITH THAT DEMON PARASITE SWORD? Yes, a demonic parasitic blade that controls a hivemind of humans brandishing knives. The sword lives within a girl’s body, feeding off of the emotion of LOVE. Except, oops, this girl can’t love so she controls the sentient blade now. That girl’s name is ANRI SONOHARA and she’s the MOTHER OF THE SAIKA ARMY (that demon sword’s name is Saika) Anri’s pretty timid and shy, a bit of a downer too but when she’s serious IT GETS SCARY. Please LIKE/REBLOG if you’d be interested in interacting with an Anri Sonohara from Durarara!!

[keptevolving]

         i needed to keep changing,   keep evolving,   so that i could stay on top of everything,   so that i could create the city i wanted them to live in.   staying the same wasn’t an option.   i had to do better.   i had to be better.   for them.   it was all for them.   everything was for them.             /             ind.   sel.   mikado ryugamine.   as led by emmanuel.   sideblog to terrahelion.   personals do not re.blog.   art cred. 

[nite-wing-deactivated20220418]

“You totally ignored my best joke that day, remember?

[keptevolving]

         ❝     friends are more important than any material object will ever be.   ❞            /              @pyrenova   

[keptevolving]

         ❝   do i know him?   yeah,   i know a lot of people   --   if you’re wanting to know more than that,   though...   well,   i might know things.   it...   depends.   ❞             /            @lifewilled 

[sunrae-art]

I wanted to live a life different from other people.

[spctlessminds]

based on this suggestions blog.  warning:  these are pretty dark/angry  &  could be triggering to some people.  please be cautious before proceeding!!

‘  all i want in my life is for my friends to be able to touch me suddenly  &  me to not flinch away without meaning to.  when will this stop affecting me?  ’ ‘  all i want is to be soft  &  gentle,  but i’m made out of steel  &  anger.  maybe in another life,  i guess.  ’ ‘  beauty is in the eye of the beholder,  so choose to see beauty in everything.  ’ ‘  burning it all to the ground  &  force them to start again.  they made you lose everything.  now return the favor.  ’ ‘  do i ever even cross your mind or do i do all the thinking of us on my own?  ’ ‘  do you trust me enough?  do you trust me at all?  ’ ‘  don’t you dare abandon me.  ’ ‘  even after all you have done,  i will always want you fighting on my side.  ’ ‘  every time i see you smile i fall in love with your brightness all over again.  ’ ‘  everyone i have ever loved is long gone.  i sing to the sky alone.  ’ ‘  everyone i touch gets hurt,  but i can’t stop.  i touch  &  i touch  &  i touch  &  people get hurt.  why can’t i ever stop?  ’ ‘  everyone says i used to be a hero,  but i can still taste the blood in my mouth  &  still feel bruises blooming because of my fists  &  my eyes are still stretched wide  &  terrified.  ’ ‘  everything i love has been taken from me.  what do i have left to fight for?  ’ ‘  fall in love with someone that makes you feel strong.  ’ ‘  friends are more important than any material object will ever be.  ’ ‘  i am aching to hold you  &  keep you safe,  to be pressed against you so that nothing can harm you.  ’ ‘  i am divine  &  you will bow before me.  ’ ‘  i am fucking divine.  ’ ‘  i am in control  &  i listen to no one.  ’ ‘  i am not a good person.  don’t pretend i am.  ’ ‘  i am not accustomed to love.  this is a learning experience.  ’ ‘  i am not worth saving  &  i am not worth redemption.  let me stay in the dark.  ’ ‘  i am so tired all the time,  all i want to do is rest.  ’ ‘  i am too tired to deal with any of this.  ’ ‘  i bow to no man.  ’ ‘  i broke into sharp pieces when i broke  &  i expect someone else to hurt their hands on my edges just to put me back together.  i’m sorry.  ’ ‘  i can give you your wings back  &  i can show you to fly once more,  if you only believe in me.  ’ ‘  i cannot be saved.  ’ ‘  i can’t ask for help because if i ask for help it hurts people.  i can bear this weight on my own.  i have to.  ’ ‘  i could taste the lies in your mouth every time i kissed you,  but i loved you too much to notice.  ’ ‘  i crave affection in the simplest way.  ’ ‘  i deserve to hurt.  i deserve to bleed.  ’ ‘  i didn’t ask for any of this so don’t you dare blame this on me.  ’ ‘  i don’t care if you say my name like it’s poison or like it’s a prayer,  as long as it leaves your lips.  ’ ‘  i don’t fight for you anymore.  ’ ‘  i don’t want to let go of you.  not now,  not ever.  ’ ‘  i don’t want to talk about it.  i don’t want to remember.  i don’t want to heal.  all i want is for it to go away.  ’ ‘  i don’t want you to touch me.  please don’t touch me,  just go away.  ’ ‘  i feel anger deeper than my bones.  i feel anger in my very soul.  ’ ‘  i feel nothing at all,  except for when i feel everything all at once.  ’ ‘  i have fallen  &  though i may miss the sky,  i belong here now.  ’ ‘  i have fallen from a height your mind cannot even imagine.  ’ ‘  i have no home anymore.  ’ ‘  i remember collapsing in the flames with a sword in my hand  &  then i remember nothing.  ’ ‘  i see beauty in everything,  but especially in you.  ’ ‘  i should never have fallen in love with you.  ’ ‘  i thought for a long time that i was so terrible no one would look at me.  now i know it’s because i shine so bright they are forced to look away.  ’ ‘  i was so caught up in the feeling that i forgot how to breathe.  ’ ‘  i will never amount to anything.  i am a failure in the worst type of way.  ’ ‘  i will tell myself that the burn of my loneliness in my chest completes me  &  maybe someday it will be true.  ’ ‘  if that’s what a hero is i’m glad i’m not one anymore.  ’ ‘  if you ask me to,  i will set the whole world on fire,  my dear.  it’s all for you.  ’ ‘  is it my fault?  it’s my fault.  it’s always my fault.  ’ ‘  it’s not murder if they deserved it,  right?  ’ ‘  i’m drowning in emotions that don’t belong to me,  choking on anger  &  suffocating on sadness.  ’ ‘  i’m in love with everything that hurts me.  ’ ‘  i’m okay.  i’m alright.  this is all in my mind.  ’ ‘  i’m ready to give up everything i’ve ever had if it means someone will love me.  ’ ‘  i’m so cold  &  i can’t stop shaking.  i am not who you think i am.  ’ ‘  i’m so tired all the time  &  i just want to be awake again.  ’ ‘  i’m tired of fighting against the pain of being forgotten.  i just want someone to remember me.  ’ ‘  i’m tired of fighting everything in my life.  just make it stop.  ’ ‘  i’m too tired to care.  blow up,  get angry at me.  i’m sure someday i’ll realize i deserved it.  ’ ‘  jealousy burns within me.  ’ ‘  just let me go in peace for once in my damn life.  ’ ‘  loneliness is a disease  &  it leaves me empty  &  hollow,  like sound goes through my body  &  bounces back.  ’ ‘  made of starlight  &  sunshine,  i shine brighter than they all know.  ’ ‘  my anger is righteous  &  my actions are pure.  ’ ‘  my chest aches  &  my lungs burn.  this sickness comes from the inside.  ’ ‘  my chest hurts  &  all i need is some comfort  &  understanding.  ’ ‘  my chest hurts  &  i ache to go back to the sky.  ’ ‘  my shoulders are aching where wings used to be  &  all i want is for them to stop hurting.  ’ ‘  pull me apart  &  piece me together in your own way.  make me perfect.  ’ ‘  righteous fury throws through my veins  &  if you touch the people i love i will destroy you.  ’ ‘  rise up.  you can’t keep being small when you were made for so much more.  ’ ‘  say my name like it’s the only one that’s ever been on your tongue.  ’ ‘  so much blood has been spilled in my name.  time to make you believe it was in yours.  ’ ‘  so you’ll worry about me when i fall silent,  but not when i scream  &  plead for help?  fuck off.  ’ ‘  sometimes people have to get hurt for me to get what i want.  ’ ‘  stay away from my fucking friends.  stay the fuck away or so help me i will destroy you.  ’ ‘  stop treating me like i’m an idiot.  you aren’t better than me in any way  &  you better remember that.  ’ ‘  the bitter taste of regret is ever present on my tongue.  ’ ‘  the world is spinning far too fast for me to stay on it.  ’ ‘  to love them is my divine right.  ’ ‘  voices whisper from the shadows  &  they fill my mind with thoughts of you.  ’ ‘  what did i to wrong to be so unloved?  ’ ‘  what is the point of power if i’m not supposed to use it?  ’ ‘  who the fuck do you think you are?  ’ ‘  why can’t i ever fucking stop crying?  ’ ‘  with a new year comes new tests  &  triumphs.  let’s try to make the most out of it.  ’ ‘  would it really kill you to be honest for once?  ’ ‘  yes,  i remember my wings breaking  &  being destroyed.  i was powerless to stop it.  ’ ‘  you are not required to love your parents,  or to even like them.  ’ ‘  you can’t hate me more than i hate myself,  but you are more than welcome to try.  ’ ‘  you may say you love me,  but you love only a part of me.  i am too complex for you to ever love my entire being.  ’ ‘  you never fucking cared about me.  don’t fucking lie about it.  not to me.  ’ ‘  you remind me of mint.  fresh,  sharp,  kind of cold,  but in a nice way.  i always knew there was a reason mint was my favorite.  ’ ‘  you shine light in even the darkest parts of me.  you are my sun.  ’ ‘  you should fear me,  but you don’t.  i will be eternally puzzled,  yet grateful.  ’ ‘  you touch me  &  my skin burns  &  it burns for you,  always you.  ’

[izacelty]

THE ★ RAIRA ★ TRIO

[keptevolving]

❛ You wouldn’t be lying to me, would you, Mikado-san? ❜

         mikado ryugamine was a liar.   this was a simple fact.   there was very little that mikado had found he wasn’t willing to do.   lying was one of the first things he found himself losing his distaste for,   in fact.   once,   an idealistic dreamer   –   lying was distasteful,   something he’d thought himself above.   now he knows   –   there are power in words,   &   while the truth can be a powerful thing,   sometimes a well-placed lie can work just as well   –   or better.    lies are just all part of the game.

         ❝   me?   lie?   i thought you knew me better than that, mairu-san.   it’s hurtful that you’d accuse me of dishonesty.   ❞ 

[fvllengrace-blog]

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he’d trade his guns for love but he’s caught in the crossfire and he keeps wakin’ up, but it’s not to the sound of birds the tyranny; the violent streets; deprived

[keptevolving]

❛ Maybe you should stop pretending to suck just for his benefit. ❜

         ❝   eh?   ❞   he does his best to look startled,   doe eyed   &   slack jawed.   ❝   i don’t understand what you mean,   heiwajima-san.   ❞   but he does.   he knows exactly what shizuo means.   he pretends to be something else altogether for masaomi   &   anri.   something softer,   something weaker   –   like he’s not willing to do whatever it takes to take control of a situation,   whatever it takes to have enough power to shape ikebukuro into a place that is acceptable for masaomi   &   anri.   he is not soft.   he is all jagged edges,   filed down to when he needs to be someone else,   but that never lasts. 

         ❝   are you sure you’re not thinking of someone else?   ❞   &   he smiles sweet,   like he’s not flat out playing dumb to the fortissimo of ikebukuro’s face. 

[tatsugamihimekas]

@izayanii asked: van gang or raira trio

[keptevolving]

❛ it’s not the first time you’ve gotten your hands dirty. ❜

            ❝   i suppose…   i suppose you’re right.   it wouldn’t be the first time.   still,   you’re asking an awful lot of me,   you know?   you know,    i could get into a lot of trouble.   although,   you’re probably not too concerned about that,   are you?   it’s not your problem.   ❞   still,   he probably owes izaya for all the times he gave information   –   even if mikado suspected izaya caused a riduculous amount of problems,   as well.   after all,   that was just that.   a suspicion.