There is a question that fills me with dread. The undertone of this question unpicks at how rich your social life is, how fun you are or how much stamina you have. My stomach drops when Iâm asked,
âWhat are you doing for New Year?â.
As a Scot, there are added complications.
New Yearâs Celebrations
There is a presumption that Scots are hardcore at this time of year, so much so that an extra bank holiday is gifted to the nation. Without a doubt, there are those Scots who do party hard. The breath-taking landscape of that wee bit hill and glen, take second place to the whisky waterfalls that are visited in pubs and street parties, to celebrate the bells.
However, there is a deeper reality to this celebration and it can be found in the person of Jackie Bird. Jackie, I would argue, is the essence of popular Scottish culture. So much so, she is crowned with the prestige of hosting new yearâs television. If you really want to understand a true Scottish Hogmanay, this may be a good eye opener.
Imagine family, friends and acquaintances stuffed into an over-heated front room, with all the beige-coloured finger food their hearts could desire. Susan from next door will probably pop in with her children, who are commonly known in the area as feral. Susan wonât feel bad about bringing the pram that is commonly mistaken for a land rover.
Conversation will be mostly dry, focussed on work, weather, Christmas, weather, finger food and weather. However, an air of excitement will breed as the special episode of Still Game is aired. Think of it as a drunk, Glaswegian version of Last of the Summer Wine. Granny, who doesnât drink that much, will be withering away in the corner after necking half a bottle of Advocaat. Everyone is more entertained by Granny.
Now that conversation has dried out, the television will provide entertainment for the rest of the evening. Enter Jackie Bird. Jackie, elegantly hosting from Edinburgh Castle, welcomes the nation what promises to be the best celebration yet. The screen cuts to a man playing the fiddle and some middle-class country folk doing a jig. As Jackie is a crown jewel of the Scottish people, it wouldnât be right for her glorious red locks to be outside. She has spent at least 40 minutes in make-up sorting out her Hogmanay bob. The outside gigs are for her henchmen & henchwomen.
The henchpeople get to attend all the fun street parties, like in Edinburgh and Glasgow. The lesser henchpeople are sent out the far away lands of Dundee, Aberdeen and the Borders. They get to meet all the drunks, the delusional tourists and other fiddle players.
Just before midnight, Jackie brings the nationâs attention to the bells. She has allowed a special act to sing just before the bells, they will be enthusiastic, badly dressed and marginally out of tune. The fiddlers and the country folk will now be replaced with a piper who will play something of melancholy. This will confuse everyone as they are enthusiastically poised with their drinks in hands to welcome the new year. Someone is holding up Grannyâs hand as sheâs still not awake.
The countdown begins and anticipation rises.
10, 9, 8⊠All eye contact is retained towards the television. This is to minimise the who-is-going-to-kiss-who dilemma.
7, 6, 5⊠Susan tells off her feral children for eating the Peace Lilly in the corner, while someone falls over the Land Rover she awkwardly parked in the corner.
4, 3, 2⊠Granny eventually wakes up after someone has thrown water over her face, Granny then apologises for wetting herself.
1⊠Happy New Year! Kisses all round.
Like the sound when someone uses an accordion as a trampoline, the rooms bursts into Auld Lang Syne in a similar tone. As ever, the first verse is sung with gusto and later verses are sung in the style of Still Game. In the hype, numerous people take photos and post them on social media streams, giving the skewed impression that their new year celebration was better.
However, truth be told most people have been under the reign of Jackie that evening and had somewhat similar evenings. This would be a great piece of work for Ipsos MORI to investigate.
Comparison
I have been that person who has looked at, or heard about, other peopleâs parties or events and felt jealous that their evening was better than mine. I am that person that looks othersâ achievements, dress sense, social scenes, physical appearance and think they are better than mine. I am that person who orders dinner with a friend, and then instantly regrets it because what they have ordered looks better. I am that person who looks at my humble achievements and thinks, âthese are not enoughâ. I am also that horrible person that thinks I am better than someone else, and it is probably Susan.
When discussing this with a friend, she said to me I was too easily comparing myself to an excerpt of peopleâs polished productions. I havenât seen the dress rehearsals, production meetings or script-writing processes that people have gone through.
In a social media age, it is easier to see othersâ polished productions. Within a few clicks, you can see someone who is more #instafit or more creative than you or has cuter, articulate children than you. There is a truth that these are nothing more than filtered snapshots of gloriously mundane lives.
In this lesson, which I am still learning, there is an art of consciously choosing not to compare. The art is to be fully comfortable and content with who I am, how I am made, how I tick. The art is not to unpack each variable, but to celebrate each faculty in where I have been gifted. The art is to be comfortable with you speaking out affirmations and listing your successes, even if you are only saying them to yourself (I do this in the car or the showerâŠ).
I also advise listening to Gloria Gaynorâs I am What I Am.
In practical terms, I choose carefully how I record and mark my own successes and achievements. Instead of reaching for the selfie stick, I may choose to store a keepsake, write something in my diary, thank the people involved privately or take a photo that is just for me. These physical items help me acknowledge and mark successes, and help me return to them when I need reminded. Through this, I can create a gentle rhythm of humility, as opposed to posting sickly humble brags on every media platform available. There are times when I feel completely inadequate and useless. I have learnt two things here, first to tell yourself to get a grip and secondly to have others to tell you to get a grip. In these times, I have learnt to remind myself that I am enough. The act of comparison can silently decay your sense of worth and being. ironically, the person in power to put things into perspective is more often than not is you.
My lesson here is not to spend a disproportionate amount of time looking at other peopleâs polished productions, but to worry about creating my own and how it interacts with others with honour and humility. Also, Jackie Bird is a babe and Gloria Gaynor is good for your mental health. Photo credit:Â foxypar4