the most important step a man can take. it's not the first one, is it? it's the next one. always the next step.
-brandon sanderson, oathbringer
as a year begins, the jokes about how arbitrary it really is begin again, and it is! but i think we need this measure. for the same reason dark humour exists, comedy works to introduce things we wish not to talk about into conversation. the onus, then, is on you. how serious about it do you have the strength to be? i will try to be a little: as all of us do, i have struggled with constant stimulation, the perpetual onslaught it arrives with, and it has severely reduced my ability to read, one of my favourite companions throughout my childhood, and i've missed it for a while, only reading once in a few months for the past couple of years, and i always felt a bit— shit about it. but then kanaad got me ensnared in the cosmere just enough to get my momentum, and the rest is history, and i'll always be grateful. “look, mom, i took the next step.”
as you can tell from the opening line, i intended to begin this with the year, but i didn't know what to write in it, so we write it at the beginning of february, and consider it equivalent (they're arbitrary anyway). i've been thinking about the word ‘effort’, and the negative connotation it carries. yes, many things require attention, but is that really so bad? it took me effort to learn a more adept way to play the keys of a piano, it took me effort to start ‘a song of ice and fire’, an exceedingly complicated book, it took me effort to learn how to make friends when i first left home, but wasn't it fun, the effort itself? i didn't anticipate my stream of thought leading me to use another stormlight archive quote, but it is relevant, so:
life before death. strength before weakness. journey before destination.
-brandon sanderson, the way of kings
sometimes, i get entrenched in the journey so much i forget the destination itself was a beautiful place, and when i realise the gift that awaits me, i think i understand what he meant. enjoy the ride, you will reach somewhere as beautiful as you are.
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