Information and Discussions on the KH Series

An unbiased source for information and conversations about the KH series. Run by Heather. Kingdom Hearts III posts will be tagged Kingdom Hearts III, KH3, and KH3 Spoilers. As of January 29th, 2019 this blog will not be spoiler free.

[khdiscussions]

Do you think they’ll put Skuld with Lea I’ve seen people saying she is like the Kairi of the group the star to their sun and moon I’m good with them as trio but just wondering cause it was interesting how Isa state’s that Lea was more interested in helping her than he was though he does too I know an it’s Lea’s character file who mentions her and that he’s worried about her I found it cute idk

(Wow people still follow this blog and want my opinions I’m amazed. XD For people wondering why I went inactive here while I still love KH I’ve been very hyperfixated on another fandom and it’s dominated all my ability to analyze and my brain.)

Personally, I don’t think any ship is going to end up canon outside of SoKai so I don’t think it’s likely Skuld (or whoever Subject X is if it isn’t Skuld since I don’t think we’ve had a confirmed identity for her yet) and Lea will end up together no matter how they interact or what the text implies or even what I personally want, but I do think it’s possible like with how the game hints at several other pairings within and outside of the trios the game may imply a bond closer than friendship between Lea and Skuld.

I am gonna be withholding my judgement on whether I think they’d be a good ship or not though because I like AkuSai better because I want to see how Lea and Skuld interact before I even consider it a ship. There are a ton of factors for why Lea could be so interested in helping Skuld over Isa and why he’s so worried for her (the fact that she disappeared, the fact that he only knew her as an amnesiac captive in Xehanort’s lab, the fact that Isa turned into a bit of an ass while he was a Nobody, etc) so I’m mostly just here for the waiting game to determine whether or not they end up as a good ship.

Anyways those are pretty much all my thoughts on Lea and Skuld at the moment, so hopefully the next game will shed some more light on them!

[khdiscussions]

I haven’t been around in ten thousand years anyways because anybody who follows my main blog can see I’ve just been unable to stop thinking about Anakin Skywalker anyways so let’s talk those Dark Road screenshots.

So we are going to get the stuff that happened before KH3D. Seeing Ansem talking to Xehanort gives us a rough idea of what’s happening here and what’s on the other side of this portal. I don’t have a lot to add here just that I’m excited to see that it’s not going to get ignored.

I dismissed this screenshot at first as not super interesting since it’s just the introduction to Xehanort and Eraqus being friends in Scala and when I first skimmed I didn’t really care. Now I do because of the dialogue box. “What was it like on the other side of the ocean?” is interesting to me for a lot of reasons. Logical thought is this is very early game and other side of the ocean is kind of like code for “off world” since the main city in Scala is basically surrounded by water but like...what if Scala is connected to DI? Or the other side of the ocean relates in part to Xehanort’s heart. Could be interesting and mean more than we know.

I love them more than life itself and if anything happens to these kids I’ll kill everybody in the room and then myself. I’m not gonna break down their names since a few people have already searched for the meaning in their names so anyways. I’ll talk about the screen shot first and then the kids themselves.

So Hermod and Bragi are just kinda chilling in the background. While Urd and Vor are at the table so there isn’t a lot to say. I think this is going to be early game, likely their in game introduction, and they’re waiting on Eraqus and Xehanort to show up. Their relationship is likely going to be a friendship/rivalry kinda deal where they help each other while showing the others up and then later go eat smores around a campfire. It’ll probably be cute. Now let’s address the group themselves.

First of all the fact that we’re getting a KH character connected to nobody is probably the most refreshing thing ever. Thank you Nomura I feel blessed.

Second I think most of this cast is dead dead. Vor is the only one I think that makes it out alive, because I am very impartial to the “Vor is Kairi’s Grandmother” theory since it’s another one of my wild theories I thought up back in high school (Kairi’s grandma being a friend to Xehanort and Eraqus) and she just kinda has Kairi vibes that are difficult to explain. It just feels very likely. I think aside from Eraqus, Urd is probably gonna be the closest to Xehanort (the silver hair and outfit aesthetic is the main reason I’m thinking this though so take it with a grain of salt) and I think the group’s going to, in part, lead to Xehanort’s descent into darkness.

(I would like to disclaimer Anakin Skywalker has stolen my one brain cell and won’t give it back so this might just me projecting my favorite boy into Xehanort’s arc now that he has more friends than Eraqus. We’ll see.)

Also theorizing one of them also kinda gets taken by the darkness before Xehanort and that becomes a story arc but that’s just me being indulgent in what I want and me just having a bit of spit balling on them because if they are rivals hostility between them could lead to this. I also think it’s gonna be either Urd or Bragi.

Finally based on the initial pictures: Hermod is likely the levelheaded leader, Vor is the cute baby, Bragi is gonna be a cocky, snarky one, and Urd...I don’t have a read on Urd from her picture. She seems calm and collected but not in a leader way more of a “I know what I’m doing” way.

The rest of the screenshots are just pics from the worlds and gameplay so I don’t have too much to add but:

I do want to talk about a little detail in these battle screen shots, specifically

I want to talk about the Keyblade all of the Dark Road squad have been shown to use since it’s an interesting little one. Notably, the Keyblade looks like a mix between two already known Keyblades:

Starlight

And Master Defender (which I only learned today is not called Master Keeper.)

Anyways the guard shape of the new Keyblade is much more similar to Master Defender, but shares references to the Kingdom Key style hilt of Starlight. Further more the teeth are an E with a small star in it, and the colors are very much reminiscent to Starlight’s colors.

Part of me thinks this means it might be a baby form of Master Defender, but given that Keyblade’s legacy it is pretty interesting for all of them to start off using a Master Defender esque Keyblade. I’d like to see them start using unique Keyblades as the game goes on that are more personal to the cast, but given that I think most of them will die I wouldn’t be surprised if the fact that they’re using a proto-Master Defender is hinting to that fact. If it’s possible that the reason Eraqus gets his big shiny version is because he’s the only one who was qualified enough to earn it, either because of the failures or deaths of his friends.

I don’t have a lot else to add based on the information we have so far (aside from the fact that I’m groaning over the thought of returning to Agrabah and Wonderland, Square tell me why those worlds) but you can definitely color me curious on where Dark Road is going now.

[khdiscussions]

Thoughts on the new story update in KHUX?

THANK YOU ANON FOR LETTING ME SCREAM ABOUT THIS ILY NOW I DON’T HAVE TO GO ON DISCORD TO DO IT.

God where do I even begin. This is the first thing that’s gotten my brain churning in months.

So first of all I haven’t seen dialogue or even the whole update, just some screen shots and discussions so until I see some translations all of this is just my impressions on second hand knowledge.

With that out of the way let’s get to it. (This is not professional meta analysis, that’ll come when the translations drop later in the week.)

I have a lot of feelings. For those of you who don’t know over the course of the years I have become a very big Lauriam fan despite wishing death upon him in his first intro. So the fact that he’s unconscious and the arc is very badly damaged after his fight with Maleficent? Hello yes I am concerned.

And then we finally fucking know who Strelitzia’s killer is.

I have been waiting almost three years for this update I can finally rest in peace.

I do wanna take pride in being half right? I’ve been on the Ven train for about a year now so while it’s a possessed Ven I’ll take this as a half victory. And it being a possessed Ven by darkness is just so interesting and cool? It gives Ven a chord of resonance I haven’t felt with the boy in years too so that’s also nice. But just like...Darkness possessing Ven makes so much sense. Ven stays a good noodle and it gives a reason for him to be in the past if he’s Streli’s killer and the one out of place, which has been something bothering me for years and the main issue with the theory itself.

The final note of what I’ve seen: Now that we’re getting the answers as to who killed Strelitzia, I think we’re finally getting into KHUx story end game (which with the snails pace of this game might as well be another two years anyways) which means every update should, theoretically, give more info and have increased build up with every month. And I, for one, am genuinely excited to see what the fuck happens to cause “break”.

[blowingoffsteam2]

I’ve noticed the design of End of Pain, which you receive in DDD for completing all special portals, seems to be based on the design of the No Name keyblade.

Demon type wings for the teeth of the blade and a gazing eye at the end, an animal head, wing-like designs on the hilt, and another gazing eye in the keychain which that looks like some winged creature or insect.  The demon wings on the teeth of End of Pain are more obvious, while No Name’s are more abstract, but they are meant to be wings.  One of the keyblade transformations No Heart uses in BBS is wings made from the teeth and the hilt that allow him to fly:

On No Name, I previously said it had a goat head, but after getting a better look at it in the Back Cover movie, it seems to be more of a goat/lion hybrid, complete with a mane (this goes well with the theory that MoM is the original “xehanort” since his symbol is the lion and Luxu’s is the goat).  In other words, it’s a type of Chimera:

But End of Pain’s animal is a ram:

There’s a lot of different possible meanings to the ram symbol, but one of the more likely ones I think it could be referring to is the zodiac symbol of Aries (the zodiac symbols were also used in 0.2 to unlock the secret boss fight).  The symbol was originally based on the flying ram that provided the Golden Fleece in Greek mythology: “The fleece is a symbol of authority and kingship…. (in some versions of the story) The ram had been sired by Poseidon in his primitive ram-form upon Theophane, a nymph and the granddaughter of Helios, the sun-god.” x  Here’s the…slightly concerning part of the story though: the ram is always sacrificed in the end (after which it becomes the constellation).  Just something to keep in mind.  But more than anything, it seems to be primarily a symbol of kingship and royal power, which is a familiar theme for Sora, but it’s interesting that Riku can also wield it then.  Although maybe not surprising, since he was originally meant to wield the Kingdom Key and seems to wield one in KH3.

I’m also curious about the keychains.  End of Pain’s looks like a butterfly, but I also think each “wing” looks a lot like the pod Sora was sleeping in.

And No Name’s keychain looks like something with 6 wings:

This might seem like a stretch, (but honestly Nomura seems to love referencing religious iconography so I wouldn’t put it past him) but one of the things No Name’s keychain could be a reference to is the 6 winged, many-eyed creatures that are described sitting around God’s throne in the Book of Revelation (a Book of Prophecies you might say…):

Rev. 4:6-8 : And before the throne was something like a sea of glass, as clear as crystal. In the center, around the throne, were four living creatures, covered with eyes in front and back. The first living creature was like a lion, the second like a calf, the third had a face like a man, and the fourth was like an eagle in flight. And each of the four living creatures had six wings and was covered with eyes all around and within.

How interesting that the first creature described is a lion- MoM’s symbol, and that they are said to be covered with eyes, like the many gazing eyes that appear in the series, and especially on all of the keyblades MoM gives the foretellers.

[khdiscussions]

So, according to the Secret Reports in KH3, the reason Lea and Isa were sneaking into Radiant Garden in BBS was because they could hear the screams of Ansem's test subjects. And before you say that those were the subjects of Xehanort's experiments: This was during VEN'S visit, so Xehanort had NOTHING to do with whatever those screams were. So... Given that the apprentices overthrew Ansem because Xehanort had convinced them he had gone insane, do you think that Ansem framed his own students?

Oh, evidently this was sitting here for how long?

I’m sorry anon I’m really bad at noticing when I have notifications. XD

Anyways:

We do know for a fact that Ansem had been doing experiments long before Xehanort had showed up, not to the same extreme as Xehanort obviously, but he had launched the experiments himself, I remembering reading somewhere that the first of the Ansem Reports in KH1 are from Ansem the Wise, not SoD as the rest of them are.

Furthermore, it was said the apprentices threw out Ansem not because he’d gone insane, but to continue their research, as Ansem was putting it all to a halt as soon as he learned the degree to which Xehanort’s secret experiments were going.

So with these facts both in mind, I think it’s more likely that they did knowingly and willingly throw him out, and come to regret it as the story went on.

[khdiscussions]

I feel a need to apologize to my followers over this being the thing that makes me come back to this blog. I sell myself as a positive place but feel a need to come here to be negative, but seeing as my personal has more reach and I try that much harder to be positive, and this blog hasn’t been active in months, I feel safer coming to this blog to post about this topic.

I also don’t remember leaving that theory thinking the writers and artists hated Kairi. I remember SRT working with what Square Enix actually gave us about Kairi, which is nothing because they hate Kairi.

Look I try to ignore SRT stuff because I hate the theory and am terrified normally to post any negativity about it whatsoever and I mostly just want to let the writers live because I’ve gotten shit for talking about how the fandom treats anything against the theory as homophobic shit and I just want to remind you that the SRT:

Insists that Kairi’s connection to Sora is leading him down into the darkness, towards destruction and death.

She is not in fact Sora’s light, but Riku is. They gave Kairi’s role to Riku.

Turned Kairi into a Darkside who remains behind in the Alpha timeline while Sora and Riku fuck off in the Sleeping Realm timeline.

Turned her into a Chirithy and removed her entire place in KH3.

Meaning they wrote her out of the story in KH3 and downplayed her significance to Sora.

I know the SRT has undergone edits since I read it when at the beginning, but the fact remains, when I first read the theory back when it dropped in March, these were important parts of the theory.

The theory’s fundamental values were about Riku being Sora’s light, which is Kairi’s primary role in the series. 

Even if you can argue the theory has merit outside of So//////Riku. Even if you can argue the theory got things right. Even if you can argue it has some interesting insights. (You can on all three, I won’t take that away from the theory.) You CANNOT argue that this theory treats Kairi better than canon and Squeenix. It doesn’t. It can’t possibly when it literally argues that Kairi literally doesn’t exist at all in the biggest release the series ever will have.

But the fact that people try to certainly speaks volumes, that’s for sure.

[khdiscussions]

Honest question: What happens if you try to leave Scala ad Caelum after the Replica Xehanorts spawn? I was just watching a video, and apparently the exit portal doesn't disappear during the battle. So... Is it possible to leave the battlefield then come back?

I’ve...never tried actually? I’m moving the PS4 out of my sister’s room tomorrow (which is funny that that’s what’s keeping me from playing KH3 when it was how I was binging it on release) so I’ll try to enter the battle and see what happens then!

[khdiscussions]

Okay so, now that that's all explained, I do want to point out the one, minor detail that all this Replica stuff simply can't explain: How Young Xehanort was able to have a physical body in BBS, roughly 8-9 years before the Replica Program was due to start. Then again, Nomura could've just changed his mind about that battle being canon...

I was about to actually point to KH3D too where we have a solid YMX, but given that’s the Sleeping Worlds I’m not sure if that counts.

Anyways, I think Nomura might’ve just gone back on the canon status of the battle. It’s the easiest solution and unlike Lingering Will in KH2 and Xemnas in KH1, YMX in BBS kinda doesn’t do anything to benefit the story at all.

[khdiscussions]

Because, as Dark Riku and the Secret Reports explain, Young Xehanort couldn't take his body forward in time: his heart had to inhabit one of the 18 unused Replicas Vexen was retconned into having made for the Replica program. As the Secret Reports explain: Xion and Repliku were only 2 of 20 Replicas that Vexen made for the original Organization, the remaining 18 were used by the True Organization XIII.

(Another Anon) 1. OK, this is kinda confusing so you might want to take notes: According to Vexen’s Secret Reports on the Replica Program in KH3, he originally created 20 Replicas for the original Replica Program, but only 2 (Xion and Repliku) were completed before his demise, leaving 18 behind. The Ultimania says Young Xehanort, Ansem SOD, Xemnas, Vanitas, Dark Riku, and a newborn Xion were taken forwards in time and placed in 6 of those bodies, leaving 12 to become the Armored Figures in Scala ad Caelum.

2. Vexen was only recruited because the Replicas were still flawed, so he put the finishing touches on the ones already in use, fixed up the one Xion would eventually inhabit when she was brought forwards in time (before being sent back to the past by her present self taking over her body), and created one more Replica that he had Demyx deliver to Zexion so Roxas could use it. The Replica Xehanort's in Scala ad Caelum were the leftover 12 Replicas that were never completed.

Ah okay, I think I missed this since I didn’t have a chance to read the Secret Reports more than once to memorize the lore. (I haven’t touched KH3 since I beat it, brain’s been too focused on Persona lately and I’ve been busy) so that’s probably why I didn’t realize that, thanks for the answer. ^^

[khdiscussions]

Y'know, eye colors can change as you grow old, so if we assume that Young Xehanort's Replica body was growing older, that would be one explanation. If not, then Master Xehanort could've placed a piece of his heart in his younger-self's Replica body.

Okay but where are we getting that YMX was a Replica??? Did I miss this plot point????? YMX was there before Vexen finished the Replicas???

[khdiscussions]

Weren't the silver eyes exclusive to the theme song movie, in order to provide better contrast between Xehanort's pupils and the reflection of Kingdom Hearts?

Nah they look pretty silver.

Goldish silver, but still silver.

[khdiscussions]

You know, people keep asking "Why is Young Xehanort from before Xehanort got a Keyblade older than Young Xehanort after his training started?" and I just realized the actual, perfect explanation for this: he took one of those 20 Replicas that Vexen made over the course of the Replica program, and his Replica body grew older. I mean, he's only a year or two older, at most, so the timeline seems to line up. Any other inconsistencies can be explained by the reuse of the old-engine's cutscenes.

Where was this confirmed? Looks mean nothing and if this has to deal with the silver eyes we still don’t know what the deal with that is?

[khdiscussions]

You know, in hindsight, Nobodies being devoid of emotion was more of an informed attribute than a defining trait of them. I mean, seriously, there are plenty of moments in KH2 and COM that cannot be explained by "pretending", such as moments of genuine fear, anger, and sorrow. That and Xaldin and Larxene should not have been able to enjoy themselves as much as they did if they were truly emotionless. So, I have to ask, do you think the "devoid of emotion" plot point was a last-second addition?

KH3D.

Anyways deferring to KH3D aside and how it literally states “Yeah they actually had hearts we lied” if we look at it from the perspective of “They actually didn’t have hearts” it doesn’t feel last second at all. 

The best example is Demyx. Demyx acts light hearted, silly, and takes nothing seriously, but in the end, he’s going through the motions as ingrained by his personality manifesting best. He doesn’t actually care, and so he just goofs around because hey, why not. We see this when he finally does drop the facade and tells Sora to be quiet. “Silence traitor” in a monotone voice is acting like he feels, and it’s kinda clear that he’s not faking that.

There are things tied to us that don’t necessarily facilitate emotions that can facilitate actions as well. Let’s just pull an example, let’s say you’re checking the archive for fanfiction and you find one, ship is one you like (and you know you like it), the plot catches your interest, and so you click it. The writer turns out to be a hack and it’s neither so bad that it’s good (like My Immortal) nor a particularly enjoyable experience, or maybe it’s a fandom you’re mostly done with and you’re just kinda off chance hoping that something might bring you back to it, so you just kinda read it dead eyed and you don’t feel anything. You’re still going through the motions you would be, somebody from the outside might even think you’re having fun because they know you enjoy the ship and reading fanfiction a ton, but you aren’t really feeling anything particularly strongly.

That’s what the Nobodies were intended to be like. They’re going through the motions, Larxene may look like she’s enjoying toying with people and hell, but that doesn’t mean she’s experiencing happiness from what she’s doing.

Likewise, we also have examples of Nobodies who are gifted actors (XIGBAR ANYBODY HELLO??? HAVE YOU READ HIS JOURNALS IN DAYS AND HIS REPORTS) and even Nobodies who don’t particularly bother to try to fake emotions (Marluxia, Saix, Xemnas) or barely fake emotions (Zexion is sarcastic, not emotive. I never got a vibe that he particularly cared about anything from any of his dialogue in CoM and my Zexion stanning sister confirmed). 

(I’m gonna take it a step further and be blunt, nobody in CoM feels particularly emotive except maybe Vexen but that’s just my personal opinion on the subject, it’s honestly funny that the game in which we wouldn’t have known these characters could feel anything is the one where they feel that much less emotive.)

Anyways I’m not going to break down each Nobody and how they distinctly lacked emotions sans one or two in this post because I think it’s getting long enough and if I keep going I’m gonna get into nitty gritties based in personal experience involving personalities and emotions (nice people getting angry, mean people being happy, etc.) and how they aren’t the same thing and all but I’m gonna end it on this note.

KH3D invalidated all this anyways by saying Nobodies have hearts and thus can eventually experience emotions, so regardless of what was intended by Nomura it doesn’t even really matter to the end result of the game or alternatively, he may have planned the “Nobodies don’t have hearts” being a lie the entire time so yeah.

[angel-with-a-pipette]

If I may? I don’t believe it was a last minute addition because you already showed perfect KH2 examples where you are supposed to at least doubt the “Nobodies don’t have feelings” rule.

The issue isn’t that KH2 made this rule and then subtly let the player doubt it at several occasions, the issue is that DDD comes around and reveals Xemnas saying “Yeah, I lied”, making everything he says and does in KH2 a lie instead of allowing Xemnas, being the scientist he is, to observe that his conclusions were incorrect. If anything, it’s DDD’s poor writing that makes KH2 “ worse” in hindsight because it invalidates facts and theories it presented in the poorest way possible.

[khdiscussions]

No go ahead actually, you basically hit the point right on the head.

KH3D’s writing validated a lot of theories BUT in return it made it so the narrative in KH2 lied to us and it is a pretty hefty trade off.

[khdiscussions]

You know, in hindsight, Nobodies being devoid of emotion was more of an informed attribute than a defining trait of them. I mean, seriously, there are plenty of moments in KH2 and COM that cannot be explained by "pretending", such as moments of genuine fear, anger, and sorrow. That and Xaldin and Larxene should not have been able to enjoy themselves as much as they did if they were truly emotionless. So, I have to ask, do you think the "devoid of emotion" plot point was a last-second addition?

KH3D.

Anyways deferring to KH3D aside and how it literally states “Yeah they actually had hearts we lied” if we look at it from the perspective of “They actually didn’t have hearts” it doesn’t feel last second at all. 

The best example is Demyx. Demyx acts light hearted, silly, and takes nothing seriously, but in the end, he’s going through the motions as ingrained by his personality manifesting best. He doesn’t actually care, and so he just goofs around because hey, why not. We see this when he finally does drop the facade and tells Sora to be quiet. “Silence traitor” in a monotone voice is acting like he feels, and it’s kinda clear that he’s not faking that.

There are things tied to us that don’t necessarily facilitate emotions that can facilitate actions as well. Let’s just pull an example, let’s say you’re checking the archive for fanfiction and you find one, ship is one you like (and you know you like it), the plot catches your interest, and so you click it. The writer turns out to be a hack and it’s neither so bad that it’s good (like My Immortal) nor a particularly enjoyable experience, or maybe it’s a fandom you’re mostly done with and you’re just kinda off chance hoping that something might bring you back to it, so you just kinda read it dead eyed and you don’t feel anything. You’re still going through the motions you would be, somebody from the outside might even think you’re having fun because they know you enjoy the ship and reading fanfiction a ton, but you aren’t really feeling anything particularly strongly.

That’s what the Nobodies were intended to be like. They’re going through the motions, Larxene may look like she’s enjoying toying with people and hell, but that doesn’t mean she’s experiencing happiness from what she’s doing.

Likewise, we also have examples of Nobodies who are gifted actors (XIGBAR ANYBODY HELLO??? HAVE YOU READ HIS JOURNALS IN DAYS AND HIS REPORTS) and even Nobodies who don’t particularly bother to try to fake emotions (Marluxia, Saix, Xemnas) or barely fake emotions (Zexion is sarcastic, not emotive. I never got a vibe that he particularly cared about anything from any of his dialogue in CoM and my Zexion stanning sister confirmed). 

(I’m gonna take it a step further and be blunt, nobody in CoM feels particularly emotive except maybe Vexen but that’s just my personal opinion on the subject, it’s honestly funny that the game in which we wouldn’t have known these characters could feel anything is the one where they feel that much less emotive.)

Anyways I’m not going to break down each Nobody and how they distinctly lacked emotions sans one or two in this post because I think it’s getting long enough and if I keep going I’m gonna get into nitty gritties based in personal experience involving personalities and emotions (nice people getting angry, mean people being happy, etc.) and how they aren’t the same thing and all but I’m gonna end it on this note.

KH3D invalidated all this anyways by saying Nobodies have hearts and thus can eventually experience emotions, so regardless of what was intended by Nomura it doesn’t even really matter to the end result of the game or alternatively, he may have planned the “Nobodies don’t have hearts” being a lie the entire time so yeah.

[khdiscussions]

So... What if the girl from the Verum Rex Trailer is Skuld?

She...doesn’t even look like Skuld though?

I know the only traits we have about Skuld are her dark hair and her eye color (because the official art and KHx only would not match in game models), but that’s already enough to debunk this idea.

Verum Rex girl has blue eyes, but Skuld has brown eyes, and this is consistent in both her UX model and her official art meaning it’s not accidental. On top of that, Verum Rex girl has well...a lot shorter hair. (If anything, she actually reminds me more of Rinoa than Skuld.)

Anyways, it’s a neat idea, but given that it’s not canon and not one I’m super interested in myself, not particularly one I’d be interested in giving any more thought to.

[scifigrl47]

So.

As you might imagine, my inboxes have been flooded over the last few days.  My fic represents, for a lot of people, either their start in Avengers fandom, or the safe place they retreat to when the angst and infighting and shipwars got too intense.  Which I get, and I appreciate, and I’m so glad if my old fics can give people a little happiness, even after all this time.

But there’s a thread I keep picking up in comments, that kind of worries me.

That things that happened in the MCU have taken the fandom away from them.  That the way things happened in Endgame have left people distraught, or angry, or just grieving.  And a lot of people have worried that they’ve ‘lost’ these characters.

And look.

Look.

I say this as a fandom old.  I say this as someone who reads comics.  Who came from the Trek fandom.  Who’s lived through bad movie adaptations and subpar ghostwriters and writing staff changes that have destroyed tv shows before they had a chance to really fly.

Don’t let canon take anything away from you.

You can be disappointed in a thing.  You can have your heart broken by a writer.  You can hope against hope that something that means the world to you will be ‘true,’ but don’t let a corporation take your heroes away from you.

Every one of us has to pick and choose what we keep and what we leave behind.  But every single version of Captain America has been fanfiction since Jack Kirby and Joe Simon put their pens down.  He’s owned by a corporation, and they can decide what’s on screen, who gets paid to write him, who gets the big platform.  They get to decide canon.

But canon is meaningless.

Canon is a way to win an argument in a bar or in a schoolyard.  It’s knowing publication dates and issue numbers and who wrote what arc and when the reboots happened.  It exists.

But when I think of Hawkeye, canon is only part of the picture.  I do think of Matt Fraction’s run on the comics.  I do think of those early years, sneaking my brother’s issues of West Coast Avengers.  I think of the weird, wild, off beat run of Secret Avengers.  But I also think of @dr-kara’s art of him.  I think of fanfic long since deleted, that introduced me to the fandom tropes of Clint living in the vents.  I think of the Tumblr posts, diving deep into the psychology of trauma, into his place as the most human and the most pointless of the original six, into a thousand stupid memes.  Caw-caw, motherfucker.  I think of the comments I got, telling me he was OOC.  I think of the Hawkeye cosplayers I’ve met, including the one guy who was in full gear at Star Wars Celebration in Florida.  I asked him why, and he shrugged and said, ‘Clint would’ve.’  I agree with him.  

I think of the first time a friend put a bow in my hands, and showed me how to shoot, wobbly and uneven, at a straw target all the way across the yard.

I think of the bruises that dotted my arms afterwards.

So canon can add new things.  Take bits away.  Make me think.  Make me hurt.

But nothing canon does will ever cause him to be different, not on any fundamental level.  Clint Barton started forming in my head when I was eight years old.  He belongs to Marvel, but the version I carry with me has a lot more sources than that.

Guys, this is a long way of saying: find your own version of the character.  Find what you need in a fandom.  And think of canon like that one fic that has a million kudos on AO3 and you just. Don’t.  Know.  Why.  That one fic, that everyone talks about, that you just can’t stand.

If canon doesn’t work for you, then discard it.  And move on.

But don’t let a corporation take a character you love away from you.

Don’t ever let that happen.

[khdiscussions]

Hope you unlearn all the hate in your heart

Hey anon what the actual fuck???