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@kikaifreak
This is a ns/fw sideblog for @kikaichuno ! For the general rules, go to my main blog's pinned post.
Mature content will be present here and I will try to keep it here from now on. To avoid getting hit by tumblr's rules on mature content, I will tag it as such:
sp; mature
Hopefully, I don't mess up between the two blogs. If you have questions, ask me on my main! Thank you!
"I don't mind any of that," Shino says, and Deidara questions whether his hearing devices are on the fritz and he misheard the Aburame (which also reminds him he should look into replacing the batteries soon). Did he say he didn't "mind"? And not just that, but Shino doubles down, talking about touching him and fucking him in either hole or all holes, and-- Deidara hates it, but it succeeds in getting him blushing. A fact he quickly tries to disguise by positioning his face over his hot bowl of ramen and pretending the redness in his cheeks is caused by the steam. He couldn't help himself; no one had ever spoken to him like that. It was like a line out of one of his smut novels, and he kind of liked it...?
"Oh, uhhh... o-ok..." He didn't know what else to say. He never thought he'd get this far. He doesn't want to look too pathetic so quickly switches his tone, clearing his throat. "L-Let me just finish my ramen, hn. And then I was going to get a room at a hotel for the night. We can do it there." Because that's what hotels were for, right? One-night stands?
He then proceeds to eat his ramen a little too fast, gagging on it half a dozen times in his rush. He could explain it away as being his hot meal in forever--which it was--and totally not because he was eager to get his guts fucked in--and from what he remembered of Shino's size, that shouldn't be too hard.
There's a glint in Shino's sunglasses, he doesn't even bother hiding his proud expression. A success! His friday night just got a hundred times better; he's getting laid! And Deidara looks very eager to get fucked!
It's always so satisfying to witness someone's excitement at the idea of having sex with him. In fact, Shino is so happy that he's feeling generous. He takes out his wallet and takes enough money out to pay for Deidara's many ramen bowls as well as his own order.
"Take your time." Shino says, although he's fascinated by how fast Deidara manages to eat his bowl. Perhaps a bit turned on, too. "Which hotel? I'll come meet you there. Because I need to run home first. For the lube." And the lone condom in his pocket might not be enough.
"Because I thought I was texting Sakura," Sasuke deadpans. Besides, the whipped cream hadn't been his idea. One of the ladies of the night suggested it, saying it was bound to get his old teammate's attention. And, it did end up getting attention, just not from the person Sasuke wanted. In fact, he ended up sending that text again, correctly to Sakura, but never heard back. So, he was beginning to think that whipped cream wasn't a good opening.
Back to the conversation, Sasuke frowns as Shino lectures him. Or that's how the Uchiha took it as Shino spoke to him like one of his snot-nosed students. "I'm not going to say your name," Sasuke says, as if that was the one thing he took out of all of that. Because it was. And as if he didn't say Shino's name last time, but he was trying not to think about that. He was lost in the moment. He didn't mean to.
"I know how to have sex," He had had lots of sex. It wasn't his fault; he and Shino just didn't like the same sex. "You said mindless. So, just... do what you did last time." Sasuke almost stomps his foot like a tantruming teenage girl when saying that. He was just frustrated! Why couldn't Shino just bend him over and take him? And no, Sasuke wasn't going to think too hard about wanting another man to bend him over and fuck him like their step-sister stuck in a dryer.
Of course, Sakura. Shino had almost forgot. Sasuke's main idea was to do this with Sakura, who rightfully didn't from what he knows. Then, he decided to explore with him, 'explore' being a big word in this context. Shino has to wonder if he'd treat Sakura the same; assume that she's going to do all the work like one of his prostitutes. Shino can't repress the cringe forming on his face at the thought.
"Sex with you isn't mindless to me. Why? Because you dislike most of the things I'd like to do and receive. You get to lay down and enjoy your ride while I- I just-!" Shino waves his hands in the air, growing frustrated and losing his words! Because Sasuke isn't wrong on the mindless part but this isn't how Shino gets to be mindless! This guy...
"Then how..." Shino rubs his nose bridge and sighs, losing his patience. "How about you show me. Prove that you know how to have sex because I don't believe you. Get me going and I'll do it. Come touch me." He's positive Sasuke can't. In fact, Shino is fully prepared to walk out.
"I never claimed that the insect I was looking for was sexy... Though I must admit, Pheromosa does have interestingly feminine shapes." Truthfully, meeting this creature felt otherwordly and Shino is starting to wonder if he hallucinated the whole thing or not. Plus, he has no idea if it's a female or not.
Deidara choking and blowing his nose in a napkin throws Shino back to the time where they had a misunderstanding and Deidara had decided to sneeze in his face. It was rude, it made him sick afterwards and the conflict still doesn't make sense to him... But he's glad they left it behind.
"Offer me..?" Shino raises a brow. Does Deidara think that sex only goes one way? Actually, now that he thinks about it, the other man always acted rather squeamish about the subject - outside of books and comics. Either he's inexperienced, or he's a virgin. Shino glances at his own glass of water, taking a moment to think. He was never one to care much about society's constructs, there would be no reason to start now. So, if Deidara really is a virgin... Well, he has no problem with that. He'll be gentle.
"I was thinking of partaking in the complete experience with you. We'd both be offering one another. It's like... Teamwork." Shino looks back at Deidara. "One filled with pleasurable sensations." He's not sure why the other would claim to not have much to offer, it makes little sense. "What do you say?"
Pheromosa? That is what it was called? Deidara's dumb names were better than that dumb name. And Shino said it wasn't sexy, yet in the same sentence, described it--her?--as having "interestingly female shapes". Ok, buddy, sure. Maybe next time he met up with Sasori, he'd ask him if he had heard of this "Pheromosa". If there was anyone who could find anyone, it was Sasori. And this bug lady... thing was guaranteed to get his partner's attention.
As Shino questioned his offer, Deidara immediately regretted saying a thing. Even if Shino did offer first. Was it because of what he implied with the blowjob? It was just a joke! He wasn't going to use his extra mouths. He should've known that any sane person wouldn't be into that. Hell, even Sasori found his mouths nasty, and Sasori was into a lot nastier things than that.
"I--" Deidara was beginning to say, but paused when Shino first. And what he said effectively baffled the blonde. Teamwork? One filled with pleasurable sensations? Wha... what was he talking about? That sounded like a line from a very bad smut book. In fact, he was half-sure he remembered reading that exact line in one of the Icha-Icha books. If he weren't so dumbfounded, he might have laughed. It was a good thing he didn't, but Shino was serious. And that's what frightened him.
Because Deidara had gone through this before Shino, and it ended the same way each and every time. It started with a man hitting him up. He'd say 95% backed off once realizing he wasn't a woman. The last 5% stayed because they were actually into men. But then, Deidara had to explain that yes--he was a man, but not a biological man--and they left, too. Some nicer than others.
Did he think Shino was any different? No, no he did not. But, that was nothing towards Shino himself. It was just that Deidara didn't believe there was a man on this earth who was different. He had encountered a lot of men, matching Sasori's body count, both in bed and on the battlefield, and it was the same over and over and over--
Anyway, it was best to get this part over with. Like yanking off a bandage.
So, Deidara lets out a grand sigh. "I wasn't born a man--" Fuck, he hated having to tell people that. It also made his stomach twist. And just as his bowl of ramen was placed in front of him, too. He may've gotten a weird look from the chef, too. "That's why I offered to suck you off, hn. So you didn't have to touch me. I mean... I still can. I won't use my hands either, if you're not into that. If you want..." Ugh, that sounded like he was begging. But, he wasn't. Not really. Maybe... He was so bad at this. No wonder Sasori kept trying to mentor him.
The reveal doesn't come as a surprise to Shino. In fact, he had his suspicions. After all, did Deidara forget the time he pulled down his pants to get a silly dick rating? Shino had given him a ten despite the missing appendage and he meant it. His current proposition isn't one filled with expectations and he has no problems with Deidara being born female but being a man.
However, it seems to be a matter of distress for the blonde so Shino softens his tone and relaxes his posture. He's not here to be scary and demand compromises for something that isn't missing at all.
"I don't mind any of that." Shino tries to reassure in the softest tone he can muster despite his monotonous voice. "I'd like to touch you and I'd like for you to touch me anyway you please. Why? Because it looks fun." Shino glances in the kitchen to make sure everybody is still out of earshot. "I have condoms and lube. I'll fuck you in either hole you please. I can fuck all of your holes if you want. I apologize for my dirty speech in a public space but Deidara-san, you must understand that I do not view you negatively and I'll happily take what you have to offer."
Shino was prattling again, and Sasuke frowns. What was the Aburame not understanding? "Transaction". Wasn't that what sex was? At least, it Sasuke's experience since he'd only had sexual encounters with prostitutes. Sad, yes, but it made it easier. There was no courting involved, or feelings, or... this. Just money exchanging hands. And, he didn't have to do anything on his end as the lady of the night would take care of him. And they were good at it, too.
"You did not have an issue doing that last time," Sasuke blurts out. Because it was true. Why did Shino, all of a sudden, want Sasuke to reciprocate now? Why couldn't he just be happy with the fact that Sasuke was offering to have sex with him again? Sasuke didn't know how to reciprocate! He never had to before. And he liked it like that. He didn't have to think, didn't have to do, he just... meh! It was so frustrating. Sasuke was frustrated now.
Just his luck, he had to choose the one person who wanted to treat sex like a relationship. And if Sasuke was good at relationships, he wouldn't have to fall back on liquid courage to navigate basic conversations or pay for sex.
"What do you want me to do?" Sasuke asks--more like snaps--throwing his hand up in dramatic fashion, only to grab his unbuckled pants as they fall down to his knees.
Sasuke's visible mix of confusion and frustration over the concept of reciprocating has Shino wonder about the Uchiha's previous experiences. It really shouldn't be confusing! Nor would reciprocating mean anything other than just fun sex. Now, it's clear to Shino that Sasuke only ever brought sex and has treated their previous experience the same as a transaction with a prostitute.
"Last time, you accepted my advances and came with a fun idea. The whipped cream was a nice addition... I also did not know what to expect from you." He had spent most of the time working hard on getting any kind of reaction from Sasuke only to have him say his name out of distress to stop at the end. Most people Shino has had sex with in the past didn't have an issue with participation.
"Well..." Shino raises a brow at Sasuke. He's done it, now. Sasuke is angry. He'll keep his calm, there would be no use in snapping back, however strange this whole situation is. "You can grab me." Shino accentuates his points with his fingers. "Scratch me if you'd like. Move your hips to the rhythm, definitely. Say my name - this is always nice. Take or ask what you want from me - I'm not opposed to cooperation. Hm..." Shino contemplates some more. "This is about it. I've told you the basics. Usually, it comes naturally. This is how sex should be. Fun and, to a healthy amount, mindless." How odd. It's his first time dealing with a starfish man.
Hear me out. Shino wearing real fishnet.
And nipple piercings.
//Shino is turned off by starfish people, confirmed.
Once Shino left the bedroom and shut the door, Sasuke let out a breath. What the fuck was that? He never expected Shino to speak like that. Nonetheless, to him. Though he'd heard through the grapevine that the Aburame was a bit of a horndog. And experiencing that, it was a question of how he got laid at all. Not that Sasuke was one to talk. But that's why he had to pay for sex. Money was an universal language everyone understood.
He expected Shino to leave, take a second or two and walk back in. But when one minute passed, and then two, and then three--Sasuke questioned if he had just left. Did Shino ditch him? In his own home? Sasuke gave it a minute more before he reckoned Shino had, in fact, left. Well... this was awkward. He didn't know what to do now. Get dressed and leave?
And that's exactly what Sasuke was doing, tugging his pants on when Shino suddenly barged back into the bedroom, not saying a thing. Just... standing there. Staring. Sasuke feels a shiver run up his spine. Ugh, he hates people staring at him. Thankfully, Shino must've remembered this and looks away. Then, dribbles out an apology. And this time, Sasuke stares at him. Because what else is he to do when listening to that?
He didn't have to tell him he was awkward, because Sasuke had figured out a long time ago. As for not knowing what to say... not saying whatever that was before was a definite start.
"What are you talking about? You know what I want," Sasuke says, incredulously. Did Shino forget? Did he have to remind him of their deal? Or spell it out for the Aburame? "Why are you making this so complicated? It's just sex." Maybe that's where there had been a loss in communication.
Because to Sasuke, sex was just sex. And sex was as basic as it got. You just did it. He didn't understand why Shino thought he had to persuade him with dirty talk--or an attempt at dirty talk. All he had to do was take off his clothes.
'Why are you making this so complicated?'
The question resonates familiarity. He's been asked that before in his past relationship except the subject was more about romance than sex, though it still leaves a bitter taste. Shino was always one to be direct and as precise as possible... Except sometimes. Some situations are harder for him to navigate and... Shino frowns.
He tried a different approach and it backfired. He knows what Sasuke wants and- Wait. The Aburame's attention snaps back to Sasuke, brows raised with a newfound hope. "Yes? You want it?" Shino knew that but it's different when one hears it!
"Sorry. You're right, I did know that, but... I knew through hints more than concrete proof." Concrete proof is always better than hints. The Aburame sighs, resigned to... Not making this complicated. He'll be forward now, no more eggshells to walk around of and if it breaks, it breaks.
"Sasuke. I am no comfortable with our deal being a transaction where you lay down and I silently take what I please from you. Why? Because the main reasons why I like sex is the reciprocation, attention and equal fun I get to have with the person. I attempted something else earlier because I'm afraid I might not be able to get it up... If you act like a doll for me to take." Shino looks at Sasuke then.
"I'm willing to have sex with you if you fully participate. I understand that it might not be your rhythm so if you refuse, I'll still take care of your termite problem like I initially intended."
//Shino isn't the best at giving blowjobs, he tends to gag at nothing (especially the taste) but he still tries his best. Expect a weird reaction if your muse finishes in his mouth, he hates it but still tries to keep the sexy mood up.
//Guess who Shino's blowing. You'll never guess it right.
The human spinning top isn't a realistic move but... If only.
"What is the helico--ah." Sasuke doesn't know what to say, honestly.
".... It's an activity that usually makes the other person laugh."
Will do the helicopter for you.
"..... Are you interested?"
Do you say all of the thoughts that you think outloud?
"No. Not at all." He was just feeling a little chatty right now and Neji didn't ignore him.
Will do the helicopter for you.
"..... Are you interested?"
Will do the helicopter for you.
Dick too big, personality too weird. Something had to even itself out.
"Big and long enough to make a large variety of positions possible without worrying about it slipping out."
