See you next time

[mlarayoukai-archive]

Top ten men

Yes sir right away sir

[slygirlboy]

customer service lego lady is kinda bad 🤤

[slygirlboy]

hold on a sec guys phone call

[slygirlboy]

they are putting me down

[greenmossloveisreal1998iloveyou]

please stop setting yourself on fire

Grow up

[spaghettioverdose-deactivated20]

hey. do cry. I went to Wanting To Fuck You island and there were no bitches

[apas-95]

why were you on wanting to fuck me island? 🤨📸

[charlemane]

okay, i've seen this one post going around my dash a few times, and at this point i feel a need to say something about it:

vampires drinking from blood banks is NOT more ethical than drinking from live donors! in fact, it's worse!

most adult humans walking around on the street have a pint or two of blood they can spare with no real consequences for their health. (again, this is not true of everyone, so make sure you ask your donors about any health conditions before you get into it, but you were doing that already, right?)

but the blood in blood banks. the blood in blood banks is for people who need that blood in transfusion form to survive. blood shortages are real, and they kill. if you steal from a blood bank, someone could die for your theft.

the only reason that bagged blood is considered the "softer" option is because you don't have to look the people you're harming in the eyes to do it. coward.

[evilbeepthemeep]

@ratsetflummi

[daetur]

Okay, so here’s what you do, if you’re a vampire and you want to get your blood from a blood bank and not from live prey.

You get a job as a night shift lab tech in the blood bank. Find the right size hospital- big enough to have a lot of product moving through, but small enough that you can be in the blood bank alone while someone else is on break. Maybe like, 700 beds and a hopping trauma department.

Sometimes, blood is going to get thrown out. It’s going to expire, since it only lasts 42 days on the shelf, and this happens more commonly with rare blood types like B and AB that can’t easily be used for other patients. Or, it’s going to get returned from the floor and has to be discarded because the blood bag was entered and not used, or because it got too warm to put safely back in the fridge and give to someone else. This is inevitable, and discarded blood products aren’t going to be used for someone who needs a transfusion.

You know who’s keeping track of where a blood bag is once it’s been discarded in the computer system? Fucking no one. You pull that sucker out of the bio-hazard trash and stuff it in your coat.

Bonus, you can also snag all the little snack-sized lavender-top tubes of Type and Screen samples because you’re also responsible for throwing those out at midnight.

[warehouse-regent]

I am still convinced that half of all phlebotomists are friendly neighborhood lab vampires

[facelessoldgargoyle]

Recipe calls for an egg at room temperature and normally it wouldn’t matter but I’m making bread without fermenting the yeast ahead of time so I don’t want anything cold. This is how I have come to be working on a puzzle while I warm the egg against my stomach, like a hen.

[arborealgargoyle]

sending you a snake egg so you can hatch a basilisk for me while you’re at it (please refrain from adding the basilisk to your recipe no matter how tasty i need it for my Evil Schemes)

[facelessoldgargoyle]

Would you be ok with 10 grams less basilisk than you were planning on? My egg is medium and the recipe calls for a large egg. I just need a weency bit of basilisk

[arborealgargoyle]

okay but dont come crying to me if you startle the poor thing and it turns you into stone (or, as a gargoyle, would it un-turn you into stone? *shudders* flesh is the WORST fate imaginable)

[facelessoldgargoyle]

*nodding solemnly* the horrors of the flesh

[supermariomamafucker]

theyre doing experiments on baby seals on the easiest ways to make them cry. so far taking away their happy meal toy is working the best

[omegaverse]

do you identify as a man?

are you asking this because i said i was looking forward to super bowl sunday

[death-420]

hey, nice meeting you. lol... on second thought, *my boss theme plays* i’m going to end you

[arthurtxt]

dear teacher sory i did not do your assignment.unfortu nately i have Died FOREVER!!!!!!! ok i will see u tmrw

[valtsv]

called off the duel not because i'm a coward who's afraid to look death in the eye but because i spent hours on choosing my outfit and styling my hair and polishing my blade until it glittered in the sunlight, i even wore PERFUME for this because i wanted to make sure i looked and felt my best, and what does the guy who challenged me to a duel in the first place do? shows up LATE, wearing what i'm pretty sure were his work clothes, shirt untucked and collar unbuttoned and askew, his complete lack of effort or respect for the art of duelling evident in everything about him, and carrying this chipped and scratched old blade that looks like he didn't even bother to wipe the dust off after digging it out from behind the couch where it's spent the last decade. i'm sorry. i just couldn't stand it. i'm taking him back to my place to show him how a REAL gentleman prepares himself for a duel.

[valtsv]

[sheepishly, avoiding everyone's eyes and tugging at my collar nervously, visibly sweating a little bit] so. um. something very lgbt happened last night.

[itslookingback]

evil infodumping where you just tell lies

[thethingy]

older brother

[devilishdescent]

california girls we’re inconsolable

dreams of doom the visions wont stop

[satyriconmp3]

my blood looks more beautiful than yours it's a more luscious red

[spaghettinatural]

edward cullens not gon a fuck you babe

[satyriconmp3]

you've picked the right target you're just a decade late this would've ruined me at sixteen

[killingmesoftlywiththisblock]

It's been an honour!

[magnetothemagnificent]

Saw this mentioned on Instagram and holy fuck I hadn't even considered it....

Tennessee's anti-drag laws would criminalize Purim celebrations.

Purim Spiels usually involve a lot of drag, and it's often a tradition in Orthodox congregations for a Rabbi to dress up as Queen Esther or Vashti in the Purim Spiel. As a kid, all the Rabbis at my Jewish day school would put on a Purim Spiel, and yes, two Rabbis dressed in drag to play Queen Esther and Queen Vashti. Even in more socially conservative Jewish communities, Purim is the one instance where you'll see cishet men wear make-up and glitter. Purim has always involved a lot of cross-dressing and gender-bending and flamboyant make-up and costumes.

And I mean if you're a Christian and you don't care about Jews .....this would also criminalize Mardi Gras celebrations.

[kmcosplays]

this is all I could think of when I saw this

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