Killing our destiny.

Just another black and white tumblr.

[pancze]

[remindie]

[ir-racjonalizm]

my edit

[bastilleintheden]

[hoshiko2000]

One of the really, really frustrating things about being autistic is that you feel like you spend your life trying to reach some sort of unattainable middle-ground:

- We’re criticised for not making enough conversation, but when we do actually really get in to a conversation we are told we’re ‘too intense’.

- We’re often trained to maintain unbroken eye-contact during conversations, yet in reality too much eye-contact is called ‘staring’ and makes people very, very uncomfortable. 

- We’re encouraged to ‘express’ ourselves more, yet our actual, genuine emotional reactions are usually deemed ‘innapropiate’ or ‘unnescessary’. 

- We’re told to be friendly and confident when approaching new people, but are then warned that we ‘come off too strong’.

- We are told to try and make interesting conversation, but are also taught that speaking about our interests will only ever annoy other people. 

- We’re asked to explain our difficulties and anxieties, only to be told that these explanations ‘make no sense’ or that our worries are unrealistic and invalid. 

- We’re expected to force ourselves in to social situations that feel overwhelming and draining yet still somehow remain friendly, good-tempered and pleasantly sociable. 

- We are encouraged to develop good self-esteem, while at the exact same time being taught that everything about us is wrong.

I don’t hate having autism - I’ve never hated having autism. But I do hate living with the never-ending pressure to attain this mythical ‘perfect’ level of social interaction that simply doesn’t exist in my case.  

[xecarez]

[fotobilog]

[liliths-blood]

[f-r-u-s-t-a-t-e-d]

Dead people receive more flowers than the living ones Because the regret is stronger than gratitude.

[spragnione]

edit

[f-r-u-s-t-a-t-e-d]

[absinthundblut]

[myopressivedepression]

fuck

[luckylluminati]

“There isn’t a moment of my day that isn’t spent wondering where you are, what you’re doing or how you’re feeling. Even in the quiet of the night, when everything is still and I am nearly asleep, there is a part of me that is still wondering.”

[the37times]

“Why am I so tired? I just want to sleep a little while longer,”

— Christa Wolf, tr. by John Cullen, from “Medea,” originally published c. 1996

[funnyjoke]

[bargainbarbi3]

“I am trying to convince myself that I no longer love you.”

— I’m not very good at it