you ruin me

[kimberleyharris]

KIMBERLEY HARRIS has been accepted to participate ! they are a 22year old all the way from STOCKHOLM, SWEDEN.SHE is studying ART HISTORY & LITERATURE at the interchange. BIO HERE. 

I. BACKSTORY.

( mental health & domestic abuse tw ) kimberley harris was the third fatherless child of her mother, taila. throughout her life, taila had suffered horribly with her mental health and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. unfortunately she found it hard to stay sober and as a result went through long periods of total mania and depression refusing to accept help. during this time she was involved in many violent relationships, the result of two of these being the eldest child marshall and the youngest, kimberley.

during times of struggle, all three children were removed by social services and put in the foster care system. marshall was an especially difficult child and would do his best to break down any placement, taking kimberley to hell and back with him. on the other hand, their sister hallie was well behaved and tried to reason with her older brother and younger sister. this was to no avail.

marshall and taila had a hard relationship, her aversion to the man who was his father making her resent him. his behaviour was erratic and strange and their mother feared him but kimberley never did. he was her hero. 

at the age of thirteen, taila had one final breakdown that sent the kids into foster care for the very last time and out of the ashes rose their unlikely hero, a man who claimed to be hallie’s father and had came around sometimes when they were young. he had wanted the relationship but taila had blocked him out. in shocking act, he agreed to take all three children including marshall who was now eighteen years old. they moved in and hallie’s father was the rock that they all could have used, he loved the children viciously as if they were his own and did all he could to make it work. 

( coercive relationship ) unfortunately, marshall didn’t like this, he convinced kim that eventually hallie’s father would get sick of them and toss them out, that it was she and him against the world now. kim and marshall ran away and spent the next three years hopping from house to house evading the authorities. marshall wanted kim to live his lifestyle but cuddled up on the floor while her brother convinced random girls to let them stay, that she’d be no trouble, she felt more alone than ever. she missed her mother.

( death ) on her sixteenth birthday kim woke up in a strangers house, one of his brothers girlfriend and marshall told her that he was done, that he was sick of a child dragging him down. they screamed, they fought and kim got on her knees and begged him not to leave her behind, said it was meant to be them against the world but he was out of the door and never seen again. three weeks later marshall’s ex girlfriend drove her halfway across america to drop her off at hallie’s door. she found out on arrival that her mother had died an entire year ago while she was running circles with marshall. her heart was broken. hallie held kim in her arms and hallie’s dad ferociously loved her, even after all she had done but she could not open up her heart. she was too ashamed. she hated herself and worse, she didn’t even know who she was.

kim spent three years waiting for marshall to come back, always thinking that her brother would turn up at her door and love her again. this toxic love was all she knew. 

on her twentieth birthday kim moved to sweden without more than five words to hallie and hallie’s dad (who wasn’t really her dad, in the end). she realised, maybe like her mother and marshall, the world was just a better place when she was gone. she didn’t fit into any family, she was meant to be alone. 

II. FACTS.

kim is miserable, unsurprisingly, she’s not a performer, what you see is what you get. you can see how she feels just with one look at her face.

she doesn’t think she’s good at anything but she can draw and she can paint quite well. 

cannot express her emotions. her walls are extremely high. she doesn’t believe anyone can know her enough to really like her for who she is. 

has a habit of being in toxic situations, looking for someone who can be a stand in father for her or replicate her brother. she wants to be controlled. she doesn’t understand a love that isn’t about consuming everything you are. 

did ballet as a child and is a very good dancer, her and her mother would do this together and it’s one of the things that she felt connected them. now she won’t even look at ballet pumps in public.

[kimberleyharris]

exhalcdvibes​:

that look didn’t used to bother him. spaced out and dead in the eyes, it was apart of her charm, now it made his nostrils flare. rooting himself in place patience paper thin as he waited for a response. “ i don’t know. ” he shrugs. it’s not like he can promise he won’t get bored of her. well he could but he wasn’t sure that it was honest, not completely, he’s never bored of her. he’s bored of the idea of the domestic him. the blissful him that’s happy and healthy. it made him queazy to think about. “ but i can buy your ticket to new york, you keep your money for a bus ticket out, so if we’re not speaking or i don’t know you just get sick of me, ” he grins nudging her softly, “ you’ll still have a way to escape. ”

there’s a further moment of hesitation that’s more about her than anything that he is saying. the thing is, kim is distrustful but accepting of hurt, betrayal, all those regular things. they seem to go over her head, rebound off of her... she’s just not as forgiving when people aren’t honest. auggie hasn’t always been honest but she knows he is then, the unknown of the future vast and ever expanding and no one able to truly foresee everything. an eventual nod comes, “kay,” it’s the smallest, most meagre and unimportant sounding response to something so large an ask as to follow him, trust him without running away at the drop of a hat. but they were both running away from things at times, weren’t they? “good thing i only need one drawer, you won’t even notice me unpack.” 

[kimberleyharris]

exhalcdvibes​:

an eyebrow arches at her comment, if she was erasing all evidence of francis from her life he wondered if he’d be next,  but he thought better of saying anything. “ sounds like fun, can i come ? ” there’s a false sense of levity to his words as he continues on, “ or if you want you could come to new york with me. ”

there’s a pause, unclear if it’s because she’s considering it or simply the fact she isn’t going to respond at all. brown eyes watch him as if expecting some further words or sudden movement, that vaguely distant look present again. when she looked at auggie then she still remembered the boy that would brush her hair, an entangled past. she wasn’t the type of person to shut down due to being hurt, rather she simply no longer understood her place in his life or if there had ever been one. her arms crossed, resting against her stomach, “if i come to new york then what will happen when you get bored of me...” it’s not a question so much as a statement, no emotion held in it, “i won’t be able to afford a second bus ticket and you’ll be ignoring me. it’s just going to be another place where no one really wants me.” 

[kimberleyharris]

exhalcdvibes​:

“ you just got a stop watch in your pocket ? ” he grinned shoving a hand in her back pocket wiggling his fingers around as if he were searching for something and now just feeling her up. “ doesn’t look like it but i still have a question. what are you doing for the summer ? ” 

“nope, not even a phone,” the comment comes out with ease, the things that had been gifted to her by francis now long gone. like before, she was back to basics even if the way she was portraying herself was utterly different. “who knows, i’ll get the first bus out of town. it’s never let me down before.”

[exhalcdvibes]

“ hey kid. ” he grinned as if he hadn’t just spent the past few weeks acting as if she didn’t exist, “ can i talk to you for a second ? ” @kimberleyharris​

[kimberleyharris]

no real reaction to auggie ignoring her, she turns to the sound of the voice, “you can talk to me for however many seconds you want, auggie,” southern tone dropped, the edge of her voice disappeared. brown eyes are warm when they look at him, somewhat unusual in their nature. “shall i time you?”

[kimberleyharris]

yoyovanij​:

when vani heard the other say everything she immediately scrunched up her nose, knowing she was going to feel all of it later. “oh great brown and clear that’s not going to make me sick.” she said with a chuckle and then nodded at the other. “yeah it was good, might need a chaser and a warning label but it was nice. 

the response was good enough for her. “where’s the fun in a warning?” a small mischievous smile of kinds as she slid a can of lemonade across the surface for her to take a sip from if she needed it as a follow up. “i’m kim. what’s your name and story?” a question she never would have asked before, invasive and to the point. 

[kimberleyharris]

odetteorileyy​:

-

“okay we can keep them from the list.” and it still left a whole lot of people that they could work their magic on too, really she wasn’t sure what it was. they were two hot blondes that wanted to sleep with someone, maybe everyone just thought it was too good to be true. as the other sat opposite her odette reached out to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear. “tommy for sure, and then if all else fails i can just text mariano.” 

“tommy,” it was relatively strange how she could change so easy but her allegiance to odette as her best friend stayed relative. she hadn’t considered tommy but he seemed like a good option. all things considered, kim had already spent time with him. “i think he’s a good pick. we’ll save mariano for a rainy day,” the bluntness of it like trading cards but a smile still on her lips.

[alanahqs-deactivated20230108]

 @interchangestarts​​​

                 ❝    does this bra make my tits look too small ?   i feel like they aren’t cupped right …. or maybe they are , i don’t know , i need some  honest  advice ,  ❝

[kimberleyharris]

“no, i think they look perfect,” she reassures, a smile on her lips. it was a good time to run into alana. “i was wondering... can i join the dance team?”

[kimberleyharris]

yovani had been out and had just come back into the room and placed down her bag. she then heard someone speak and she looked over to see kimberly place a glass on the counter. she walked over and picked it up before downing the drink, she liked alcohol so it didn’t phase her to ask what it was. she frowned a big and then looked at her. “what was that?”

she didn’t flinch or flicker away when yovani downed the glass, kim had never drank too much herself but perhaps that would change now. “everything,” she shrugged nonchalantly, not lying because it really had been a variety of things. brown eyes focused, “did you like it?”

[kimberleyharris]

lloydxinxspace​:

“Okay,” Lloyd took a drink, making a face at the unexpected taste of alcohol. “That’s strong.” Another drink. “Also, hi Kimberley. How’ve you been? It’s been a while. How are you liking Egypt?” 

when she spoke even her voice was different, the accent voided out to something that was flatter and more acceptable to the ear. her terminology cleaner and without character, “that’s the point, lloyd,” she raises her shoulders. “oh, nothing really,” untrue. “I’ve been thinking about joining the dance team,” and this might not have been very unusual since lloyd didn’t know kim hadn’t danced since before her mother died. “you?”

[kimberleyharris]

@interchangestarts​

standing in the kitchen of the main house, the time had ticked by and she had spent a number of hours outside the house, her regular hobby of wandering around with little to no regard for her safety back in full force. pouring a concoction of alcohol, she put it on the kitchen island, “try this.”

[kimberleyharris]

odetteorileyy​:

odette wasn’t sure she knew what was happening with her bestie, but she wasn’t mad about it and the other was still kimmy to her which meant she would be at her side no matter what crazy came from the other blonde. “most men are going to be worried they don’t know how to handle both of us at once kimmy, it’s o be expected.” and she was sure that it would be worth the wait when they got to it, she would make sure of it. “who have we already crossed off the list maybe i can make a few enquiries for us?” 

the interesting part was that there was a part of her that hadn’t changed. unpredictable in nature, someone that kept themselves reserved but could change or deviate from the path most traveled at any time, perhaps no one should have been surprised when she changed completely. “hm,” she nodded standing up from her seat and nodding, “tyler, zeki, cassidy, definitely out,” she affirmed coming to sit on the bed beside odette. “who are you going to enquire about?” she leaned inwards slightly with a small smile as brown eyes focused on the other.

[kimberleyharris]

ellcgrxce​:

rereading a few emails from the woodhouse board, elle was fully entranced with everything going back and forth that it took a second for her to realize someone was there. glancing over at the other blonde, she took her time deciding if she wanted to help even if she claimed she needed it. closing her laptop, she spun her chair to face kim, tilting her head to the side as she took her in. something was different, actually most things about her were different. “yes.” that went without question. “of course you do. why the sudden interest?” 

kimberley was not the type of person that asked for help, even if she needed it, even if she was drowning then she never would have reached out her hand. she was a stagnant person, as dull as dishwater in her own expert opinion. the cons she had ran with her brother had never changed that for her but now she was far from a southern belle. “i’m bored of being myself. i want to be somebody different,” that was the bare bones of the truth as she stood arms crossed, it wasn’t defensive as much as impatient. it was no rags to riches story, no tale of wanting to conquer the world, the simplicity of it laughable in the grand scheme of things as she moved closer to elle. “it’s about time that i started acting like somebody. i’ve been nobody really for a long time.” 

[kimberleyharris]

true or false: it bothers you that auggie detests you now.

false.

[kimberleyharris]

you’re mad at someone

false.

[kimberleyharris]

svlaso​:

“ do i want to tell you about me? not particularly. “ it should have come to no surprise that he was a generally private person when it came to everything but his sex life, that was something he had no qualms talking at great length at if asked. hazel hues lingered on her momentarily, drifting from the blonde hair to soft features, a stark contrast to his own darkened ones, but you never did really know what laid beneath the surface. “ unless you’re some long lost twin i don’t know about, it would be safe to say no. “ his brows raising in a playful manor. “ what’s your major? “

“art history.” did she have a problem with someone else being a closed book? not really. kim was almost completely unreadable, her history not written all over her like some and vulnerability hard to find. she was raw like a wound, bleeding by accident whenever it was knocked but she didn’t see it. she only saw black and white in any situation. a look of skewered suspicion, “i got a brother who’s a conman, a sister who’s an actress, a ma that’s all burned up and in a pot someplace in the deep south and ain’t nobody ever known who my pa is other than that he might wear a brown jacket.” she reels, no emotion at all in the words or the concept of her past. it was all a broken record to her. they were meant to get to the root of some reason fate brought them together, weren’t they? she doubted it was to discuss her major. “i don’t got a big dream or a little fear. never had a nightmare, no phobias, never had a pet,” she pauses, “i don’t believe in god and i do support the death penalty.”

[kimberleyharris]

@odetteorileyy​

stories, tales, fables. there was always a lesson that was meant to be learned but they earned no attention from kim who found it impossible to learn from anything but her own experiences. she was tired of herself in a way she never had been before and unlike most people, she was baseless. she shed her skin easily, did as her brother and mother always had; headed for reinvention. the only reason she had not done it earlier was having no need, wanting to live inside the discomfort of her own body and the raw awkwardness of her personality forever. but now things had changed. it really was that easy, her arm rested on the back of the chair, her mannerisms, her voice, everything different. “i can’t believe it’s this hard just to find someone to have a threesome with.”