we take it

KIMBERLY SHACKLEBOLT and what was it for, this country, the farms and the blood across a prairie, the nation we become as we build a second nature on the battlefield a time we were so foolish and so young

[jay-scarborough]

-he’d never been a particularly guided individual, indifferent to the ideas of paths and marking himself up to the idea of something, though he’d had his notions on what he’d do with his life once he graduated. now, however, he’s too consumed in the idea of why, and why he should even bother with anything at all, and why he’d ever had any inkling of what he could do and how he could reach any potential that was set up for him. when juxtaposed to his old self, Jay is a shadow; a man who has had darkness put in his heart and doesn’t know what to do with it.- Change is good. 

[kimshacklebolt]

-as the seconds pass, the feeling like she just needs to get away from him and from the entirety this situation just seems to get worse. she can't help it, and trust, she would if she could, but it just makes her feel panicky and suffocated and she knows that this can't be good for her. her eyes dart away from him as she swallows, crossing her arms tightly over her chest- Yeah. So. Is that all? 

[ejthehummingbird]

[birdbathcabal]

[jay-scarborough]

-her answer surprises him. he’s always regarded her as having all the answers, as having outlined everything and calculated every move just as perfectly as one would choreograph an intricate dance; he’s been the messy one, the untidy, running-five-minutes-late one, and her answer scares him to the bone. how can he dream of being prepared if she isn’t? what will he do if she doesn’t know? despite his doubts, he nods, giving a small (weak) hum of agreement- Something… different.

[kimshacklebolt]

-maybe that was true once upon a time, but these days? who knows what she knows anymore. the world, in a sense, doesn't seem as conquerable as it felt before, and in turn, she doesn't feel much like conquering it as much as she's just simply trying to survive. nothing prepared her for what the world was actually like, and it threw her off course, far off course. being an Auror seems like the only thing she's sure of anymore, and even so, the path seems narrow and difficult to follow. nearly unattainable. but somehow, that only makes her need it more. she exhales silently, her shoulders dropping a bit, looking, for the first time in his presence, a little more tired than she is defensive- Yeah. Different. 

[joyfuck]

[jay-scarborough]

-can’t help but stare at her; he’s missed her so much, more than he ever thought he could miss a person. she’d been such a constant in his life over the years that growing accustomed to being without her was hard, and having her back in front of him was like offering drugs to a strung out addict. he wets his lips with a quick swipe of his tongue, and he can only nod in response. he understands. he wants to be away from this place as well, away from the reminder it holds. but he’s scared, scared of losing what is there for him and he glances down, again, briefly, before forcing his gaze up- Do you already have plans for after graduation?

[kimshacklebolt]

-when he stares, she looks away. she can't help it. just the length of time this conversation has existed over is enough to unsettle her, for her to fully regret getting herself into this. and shit. she wishes it wasn't like that. this is Jay, after all. but it is. it's like that, and she can't do shit about it except get away from it as fast as she can- Not... particularly. Might move. I need a change of... -exhales, trying to find her train of thought, forcing herself not to say company- ... pace. 

[butterflycaps]

[jay-scarborough]

-her short response leaves him grappling for something new, something interesting, something that will capture her attention in the way that he wants to—and he’s so used to it coming easily, to spewing out complete bullshit and having people fawn over it as though it’s something deep and philosophical. he’s become quite the donnie downer, not seeing the point in it anymore, but she makes him care, and he bites down on the fullness of his lower lip, considering- It’s nice to be back.

[kimshacklebolt]

-was always a bit of a fiery spirit, with the slight tendency to bitch out every now and again, but these days it feels like that encapsulates her. that isn't to say she doesn't still have plenty of days where she's friendly and interactive like she used to be, but the instances are fewer and further between, and she can't call any of them happy. but that's how she used to feel with Jay. how couldn't she? he was her best friend. and now... she just feels like she's looking at a stranger. or maybe that's her. maybe he's trying to know someone again who's changed too much to give him that chance. in any case, she pauses for a moment, and decides to say the only words that come to her mind, though in a bit of a subdued tone- Personally, I'm looking forward to graduating next year. 

[levivi-blog]

Different. I can’t explain it without showing it to you. Unless you know more about music than you said you do. -he shrugs, resting his crossed arms on the top of the guitar- It’s unique.

[kimshacklebolt]

I don't really know much about music. I mean, I like it fine, I just don't know it. But I guess I'll take your word for it. 

[jay-scarborough]

-his hands are still shaky, trembling slightly as he shoves them into the pockets of his pants, hiding the tremors from her as she speaks. he’s almost scared of her, well aware that he’s standing on thin ice that might as well be eroding away beneath his feet. he swallows, noting the quickness of her words, but his own come slowly, carefully, as he gives the slightest of shrugs- My cousin got married… Mother, Avani, and I were in the city for a few months. Father was only there for the ceremony before he was needed back at work. 

[kimshacklebolt]

-can sense his nerves and wants to hide from them, knowing that she probably could if she really tried, but maybe that's a reason she's avoided talking to him. because it's too hard to turn away, not when she can see that expression clear on her face, envision it even when he's not wearing it. she tries to stay sane, however, keeping a composed look about her, if not edging on uncomfortable- Oh, right. Yeah. 

[levivi-blog]

Pink Floyd. -finally ceases his playing to have a proper conversation with her, without the backdrop of music to distract him- The actual music sounds different than it sounds when I play it.

[kimshacklebolt]

What does it usually sound like?

[twisted-onabcfamily]

[emmagoodall]

[kimshacklebolt]

lacey porter wardrobe appreciation pt. 2

[emmagoodall]

[kimshacklebolt]

lacey porter wardrobe appreciation pt. 3

[twisted-onabcfamily]

[jay-scarborough]

-she has captured him in a way that few people have seen him; once such an impressionable boy, one who would go to the lengths of the earth and beyond for a friend, the epitome of Gryffindor loyalty, he’s now shrunk back into his shell. he looks out for number one and suddenly she’s there, taking his full attention. his palms sweat and he rakes one hand through the loose threads of his hair, swallowing thickly—what to say?- I… I was in Delhi. -swipes his tongue over his lower lip, apprehension clear in his tone- For months, since before winter break…

[kimshacklebolt]

-the longer it takes him to respond the more nervous she gets. it both is and isn't his fault, though she tends to pretend it always has to be these days. it's easier than admitting the truth. to her, the truth might as well not exist, not if she can help it. and here she is, letting one part of that truth back into her life, one stretch of silence, one stuttered word at a time. when he finally speaks, it's almost relieving, until it's her turn. and then her throat clenches and the enraging pressure is back on, and she gets the words out as quickly as possible, letting the conversation weigh her down- What were you doing there? 

[jay-scarborough]

-his heart hammers in his chest as she nods, speeding as her head inclines and lowers slowly; he can’t believe that she’s actually giving him the time of day and not running for the hills as she had for the months leading up to this day. he’d been in Delhi, away from Hogwarts, and… hopes that it isn’t the reason for her sudden change of heart- 

[kimshacklebolt]

-all reason in her mind is telling her that this is a bad choice, and yet she can't seem to listen to that voice in her head telling her to leave. the lost words burning in her throat are empty and unfounded, and the look on her face flashes between fear, contempt, and a distant apology as she can't seem to tear her eyes away from his face. standing frozen in front of the portrait hole, she swallow, and when she speaks, there's a slight tremor in her usually strong voice- Well?