♦

I have better things to do than talk to you. Ugh, please, personal space! You're talkin' to a king, here. King of diamonds, or somethin' like that. I dunno, just--just go away, okay? ((RP blog for 2P cardverse France uwu In the 2P cardverse ring, but I'll rp with anyone~ Magic anon status: noneFace Claim- Joe Anderson)) [sidebar art]

[kingofwhatthefuckever]

-just balancing a baby in one arm and holding Frankie's hand - Hey babe how are you doing almost done the kids missed you.

-God my kids are old wtf-

Yeah, I’m just near finishing up. I can probably push the last of it off ‘til later, though. -Wheels his chair over to pulllllll wife into his lap-

[2pqueenofdiamonds]

-rolls her eyes but kisses his cheek-  Your legs are going to rot off if you keep sitting for so long. Maybe we could go into the capital tomorrow.

[kingofwhatthefuckever]

Standing is for losers anyway. We can go wherever you want, babe. -Pokes his nose in to kiss her neck, a hand moving to ruffle Frankie’s hair-

[kingofwhatthefuckever]

-just balancing a baby in one arm and holding Frankie's hand - Hey babe how are you doing almost done the kids missed you.

-God my kids are old wtf-

Yeah, I’m just near finishing up. I can probably push the last of it off ‘til later, though. -Wheels his chair over to pulllllll wife into his lap-

[kingofwhatthefuckever]

your child is turning one you're old

No, he’s like, six months. Nine tops.

…Right? I mean, I’m old either way, but…

[2pqueenofdiamonds]

-and there it goes the nice moment is over -rolls her eyes-  No that’s not how that works Francis. It’s a muscle it returns to it’s original size and it hurts just as bad every time except now I’m a little more aware of what to expect.

[kingofwhatthefuckever]

Oh. That's a bummer. Well, good news for me, though, right? Haha... ha.

...Sorry. That was bad. I honestly feel bad about that joke. -Kisses her forehead- I'll be there for you. Even if you do break my hand. I'll stay conscious this time.

[kingofwhatthefuckever]

your child is turning one you're old

No, he’s like, six months. Nine tops.

…Right? I mean, I’m old either way, but…

[2pqueenofdiamonds]

i know, I just ask for the sake of you having a little input. -Leans on him a little more bc the belly throws her off balance- Next month, or possibly April. I’ll try not to break your hand again - laughs a little-

[kingofwhatthefuckever]

Yeah. That hurt.

-Rubs her back a little, humming-

It should be easier the second time, right? Like, Frankie stretched you out some, or something? Your vag knows what to expect. There's, like, a precedent. Or somethin'.

[2pqueenofdiamonds]

[writes BONNEFOY on lil's tramp stamp area] [,,,,,,,,,and puts a lil heart on the butt] [smooches butt heart]

- the loudest eye roll in existence.- What is Al around?

[kingofwhatthefuckever]

Naw, I just like your ass. -Squeshes the butt- 

[kingofwhatthefuckever]

your child is turning one you're old

No, he’s like, six months. Nine tops.

…Right? I mean, I’m old either way, but…

[2pqueenofdiamonds]

… Francis his birth day is next month, we talked about this…  you’re not that old babe the age gap just makes it look that way.

[kingofwhatthefuckever]

…Next month? Is what we decided on? Huh. Well, he’s still not one yet, he’s—eleven months.

-Scratches the back of his head, humming- I dunno, babe, I—I think I’m finally at the point where you could call me old. I’m probably graying…

[2pqueenofdiamonds]

Yes that why I asked orange or yellow-lime. Older men are more interesting anyways, you have more stories to tell Frankie. -smooooches his cheek-

[kingofwhatthefuckever]

You know my answer is always orange.

-Rolls his eyes, stooping to smooooooch her on the lips bc i demand affection-

When, uh... -Puts a hand on the baby belly- When's this one due? I, uh, I'll try not to freak out this time. Promise.

[kingofwhatthefuckever]

your child is turning one you're old

No, he’s like, six months. Nine tops.

…Right? I mean, I’m old either way, but…

[2pqueenofdiamonds]

… Francis his birth day is next month, we talked about this…  you’re not that old babe the age gap just makes it look that way.

[kingofwhatthefuckever]

...Next month? Is what we decided on? Huh. Well, he's still not one yet, he's--eleven months.

-Scratches the back of his head, humming- I dunno, babe, I--I think I'm finally at the point where you could call me old. I'm probably graying...

[kingofwhatthefuckever]

your child is turning one you're old

No, he's like, six months. Nine tops.

...Right? I mean, I'm old either way, but...

[kingofwhatthefuckever]

Your family is so vulnerable it'd be a shame if something were to happen to it. A damn shame.

...Please leave them alone. Hurt me, if you have to. Just... don't bother them.

[kingofwhatthefuckever]

She doesn't love you no one loves you, you're a monster, a pig, a low, low ugly creature. You don't deserve to even look at the throne.

It's only a matter of time before Franklin will take the throne. Hopefully he'll do better--no, he's guaranteed to do better. It's not a high bar to pass.

[kingofwhatthefuckever]

you're going to fuck this up like you mess up everything else. He's going to hate you, Lil will leave, you're broken and cannot be fixed.

...Yeah, I know.

[kingofwhatthefuckever]

-just kinda knocks on the door frame to let him know she was coming in- Francis? I've got some news.

-He’s just answerin some important correspondences that definitely aren’t about his wife’s sex life so he looks up with a little smile-

What’s up? Nothing bad, I hope—

[kingofwhatthefuckever]

  Maybe you’re hungry because you’re running so much. Have you been racing Luc again? He has longer legs than you.

-Rolls his eyes, motioning for her to come over- C’mere, lemmie touch. Your tits feel different when you’re knocked up.

[2pqueenofdiamonds]

No, I know my eating habit’s Francis—  -wow that’s a super unimpressed look directed right at you francis that was the wrong answer.-

[kingofwhatthefuckever]

...What? I'm serious! What, am I not allowed to touch you in daylight?

-Pouts a little, crossing his arms- Well. Did... you want another one? I mean--how are you feeling? Besides pissed off that your husband wants to touch your tits. Which is, like, super backwards, by the way.

[kingofwhatthefuckever]

-just kinda knocks on the door frame to let him know she was coming in- Francis? I've got some news.

-He’s just answerin some important correspondences that definitely aren’t about his wife’s sex life so he looks up with a little smile-

What’s up? Nothing bad, I hope—

[2pqueenofdiamonds]

I think, well it’s not an I think it’s more of an I’m 85% certain thing.  I’m pretty positive that I’m pregnant.

[kingofwhatthefuckever]

-There’s a really long awkward pause??-

-Then kind of. nervous chuckles.-

H-Heh. That’s, uh, a good one, Lil. Nah, you just had one, like, nine months ago, right? You gotta have some kind of, uh, uterus refractory period on that.

[2pqueenofdiamonds]

-That silence kind of upsets her a bit, she rolls her eyes at his nervousness folding her arms and leaning on the door frame- Well I’m not saying I’m due anytime soon Francis, I just think I might be pregnant maybe 2 or 3 months.

[kingofwhatthefuckever]

Well—Uh. Okay, that’s—more believable.

Are you sure? Maria has been baking more often, and I know how overly conscious of your body you are, I mean—you don’t look super pregnant. I don’t remember when you started showing with Frankie, though…

[2pqueenofdiamonds]

I cut out cakes a month ago trying to get rid of some of this. - She grimaced at the bit of tummy she had gained - I didn’t get very big until 5 or 6 months with Frankie. I’ve even been running again and it’s not going anywhere, and I’m constantly hungry, not peckish legitimately hungry.

[kingofwhatthefuckever]

Maybe you're hungry because you're running so much. Have you been racing Luc again? He has longer legs than you.

-Rolls his eyes, motioning for her to come over- C'mere, lemmie touch. Your tits feel different when you're knocked up.

[kingofwhatthefuckever]

-just kinda knocks on the door frame to let him know she was coming in- Francis? I've got some news.

-He’s just answerin some important correspondences that definitely aren’t about his wife’s sex life so he looks up with a little smile-

What’s up? Nothing bad, I hope—

[2pqueenofdiamonds]

I think, well it’s not an I think it’s more of an I’m 85% certain thing.  I’m pretty positive that I’m pregnant.

[kingofwhatthefuckever]

-There’s a really long awkward pause??-

-Then kind of. nervous chuckles.-

H-Heh. That’s, uh, a good one, Lil. Nah, you just had one, like, nine months ago, right? You gotta have some kind of, uh, uterus refractory period on that.

[2pqueenofdiamonds]

-That silence kind of upsets her a bit, she rolls her eyes at his nervousness folding her arms and leaning on the door frame- Well I’m not saying I’m due anytime soon Francis, I just think I might be pregnant maybe 2 or 3 months.

[kingofwhatthefuckever]

Well--Uh. Okay, that's--more believable.

Are you sure? Maria has been baking more often, and I know how overly conscious of your body you are, I mean--you don't look super pregnant. I don't remember when you started showing with Frankie, though...

[kingofwhatthefuckever]

Did you ever think about divorcing Lilly

Nah. I mean, before I fell in love with her, I was sad and pathetic and didn't have the will to do much of anything. I also knew the only marriage I'd ever get would have to be an arranged one.

By the time I finally started getting my shit together to want to do something for myself, I was already stupidly in love with her. And now I'm stuck with her.

Don't fall in love, kids. It's a hell of a drug and leaves you old and covered in spit-up.

[kingofwhatthefuckever]

-just kinda knocks on the door frame to let him know she was coming in- Francis? I've got some news.

-He’s just answerin some important correspondences that definitely aren’t about his wife’s sex life so he looks up with a little smile-

What’s up? Nothing bad, I hope—

[2pqueenofdiamonds]

I think, well it’s not an I think it’s more of an I’m 85% certain thing.  I’m pretty positive that I’m pregnant.

[kingofwhatthefuckever]

-There's a really long awkward pause??-

-Then kind of. nervous chuckles.-

H-Heh. That's, uh, a good one, Lil. Nah, you just had one, like, nine months ago, right? You gotta have some kind of, uh, uterus refractory period on that.

[kingofwhatthefuckever]

If you're gay and your wife's a dyke how did you guys have a kid? Is he adopted?

W-WE STILL FUCK.

I MEAN. SHE'S NOT A DYKE. SHUT UP.

YOU'RE BANISHED TOO. I HAVE PLENTY OF VERY HETEROSEXUAL SEX WITH MY VERY HETEROSEXUAL WIFE. FUCK OFF.