i'm somebody new @kitschen-counter - Tumblr Blog

mcazratsam

#<33 #lovecore

kitschen-counter

Putting taco salad ingredients in a jar for my lunch like 'wow, I really am a real person'

kitschen-counter

Strike that, hurriedly eating a sloppy joe in a white shirt, blazer and tie, now I'm REALLY living.

#these are human activities. certifiably #i was wearing a cap too it was a good look #feels good to be functional but feels even better to be uninhibited #gry talks

Putting taco salad ingredients in a jar for my lunch like 'wow, I really am a real person'

#gry talks

Planning so beautifully and perfectly that I can actively feel the world turning into a better place around me.

#the plan savant. i've got hands all over this wet and yielding clay #been feeling behind on everything #but on closer inspection everything is actually gonna add up and turn out perfect and beautiful #what a good weekend does to a guy #motherfucker there are flowers everywhere and everywhere is walking distance if you believe in yourself #oobh i got plany off time.#gry talks

I no longer feel broken, I much prefer myself as I am, but never being covered by the "don't worry" shortlist can make you feel alone. Likely not on the longlist either. I'm not a candidate for the girlypop purification ritual. Not worth normalising. Burrowed too deep underground for it to be practical to dig up, just for my benefit. The wrong end of a trolley problem. Every individual piece is normal, sure it's normal, but becomes freshly unrecognisable when assembled. The most similar ones, on surface level, talk about feeling alone too.

#crying at self help books not out of relief but frustration and anger #gry talks #i don't have to insist on not being a woman the world does that for me every single day

I've never spoken a direct word about this in my life, maybe that's what's poisoning me. And yet I think people who really know me already intuit it, at least to some degree. So what’s even my hang-up about it? It’s hard to say. It’s either a ‘well, duh’ or a “what are you even talking about”, that’s sort of the problem. Hardly worth bringing up at all then.

#something you joke about but don’t say. maybe because it hasn’t got just one simple name. its too mixed in with everything else #either it's unheard of or it's trite. gauche even. thanks that helps a lot #it’s past my bedtime this has got to stop now #gry talks

It's the time of another revelation of that thing I've known the whole time but from a slightly different angle. The common expectation that keeps coating my tongue like a thick dust so that I walk around all day spitting and coughing and trying to scrape it off in between acting normal. I'm going to get clown lung and die before ever putting these things into practice.

#no one is considering me and i am considering no one and yet this is driving me mad #how will i ever love when everyone is categorically being taught to love me the wrong way #it's just that it's everywhere. it's insidious. how are we all going on. i can't escape it.#and plenty of people know and have observed this but where are they because if i try to bring it up i sound insane #they are all islands so far away i only know of them theoretically #my friends if you're reading this i don't mean you. you do get me. i love you. it's just hard to talk about directly.#enough for now. half of the things i write are about this. I'll circle back later #gry talks

miamaimania

“Feet Above” by Zurab Getsadze ⌘

henk-heijmans

Modesty, Paris, 1937 - by Erwin Blumenfeld (1897 - 1969), German/American

#erwin blumenfeld

ijaazat

thinking of this combination… more than colours it’s like a technicolour memory from a life unknown

lamignonette

killlie

I'm going to start putting more effort into convincing myself. I keep watching myself. I try to forget myself when it's useful. I gatekeep the actualities of my body (hot). I value my private thoughts. I whisper them into crevices, and sometimes I'm heard, and often I'm not. I start building monuments and then I forget about them again. I walk in them, forgetting everything else. I'm happy enough.

#gry talks #january check in now that I'm human again #accidentally wrote 'I'm happy not' someone sic freud on me #I'm happy. NOT!!!! no really i think I'm happy enough most of the time #it's the eternal question of if i need everything fixed or I'm actually chill. that's always what I'm talking about really.

cybervoidd

lamignonette

peronocambiamiamore

irréalités, ph. valentin giacobetti, styling jack borkett, revue magazine #10

Happiness is being happy. I eat happiness off of pantry shelves and I'm happy when I don't think about it.

#i live in cabinets. maybe im a borrower #gry talks #happy wife happy life but also you're your own wife or something

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i'm somebody new