THINGS I’VE LEARNED FROM TUMBLR ABOUT YA BOOKS I HAVEN’T ACTUALLY READ
Disclaimer: There might be spoilers but also all of this could be wrong.
Shadowhunters: Teenagers covered in tattoos fight evil ninjas. The TV show is apparently better than the books and the author is an asshole. Everyone ships the blond guy and the redheaded girl even though they seem to be siblings, and a dark-haired guy called Alec at some point made out with a glittery Asian DJ?
Divergent: Teenagers also covered in tattoos fight mysterious dystopian government which sorts them into sci-fi versions of the Hogwarts Houses and apparently has sumptuary laws about not wearing anything that isn’t black. At some point you jump off a building in a very extreme game of parachute. Somebody dies at the end and nobody talks about it.
Eleanor & Park: Chubby freckled redhead and skinny Korean boy meet on a bus and probably fall in love? Earbuds.
Percy Jackson: Summer camp for bastard offspring of various Greek deities. Chapter titles look like Fall Out Boy songs. The movie was terrible. Rick Riordan is milking this for all it is worth.
Grisha Trilogy: Everyone is Russian and into BDSM. Also, antlers.
Throne of Glass: Girl assassin is supposed to protect somebody from something and has sex in a closet with somebody named Chaol?
The Selection: Fairy tale version of The Bachelor with a really annoying protagonist.
The Maze Runner: Hunger Games/Lord of the Flies slashfic sausagefest.
Vampire Academy: Vampire royalty need personal bodyguards at their fancy prep school for some reason. People fight with sticks. Stakes? I don’t know they just look like sticks.
Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe: Gay boys indistinguishable in fan art from the gay boys in Song of Achilles go on a road trip and wear Chuck Taylors. One of them is Latino? I think there’s a pool involved.
Daughter of Smoke and Bone: I thought this was part of the Grisha trilogy and now I know it isn’t but that’s all I know about it.
Lunar Chronicles: Cinderella is a mechanic and everyone really hated the cover art with the apple.
The Raven Cycle: Asian girl named Blue babysits a group of gay boys in a weird Southern town called Cabswater or Carpswater or something. One of them dies but doesn’t seem to actually go away? Someone turns into a tree.
The Fault in Our Stars: Kids with cancer fall in love, one of them dies, and they tell each other stuff’s okay even though it’s pretty obviously not okay. Everybody forgets about the blind friend. The cigarette is a metaphor but I’m pretty sure John Green doesn’t actually know what a metaphor is.
Stephanie Perkins’ books: Cutesey heterosexual rom-coms which take place in Romantic with a capital R European cities and one of the boys is named after a bug.
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