FULL HOUSE. @knowthesavior - Tumblr Blog

Neat! I want to feel love.

I am trying so hard to have feelings for someone and it feels like me, a square peg, in a triangle hole.

Ah. Him. Maybe I am capable of feelings.

#i #I am not. I just want to feel normal and that I could have a future if I wanted one. I do not.

God alright yeah, fuck the internet I guess. I’m just going to stay with my two internet friends and perhaps make more real life friends.

#Damn. I want. friend.#Obviously not so low to befriend somebody fucking. Four years younger than us. God. Eugh.#i

Or I can pursue this friendship I can possibly see. Because. Very rarely do I actually want to be friends with someone, and even more rare do they even want to look my way. So. That’s. The one issue.

#I also just want to stop. internet things alltogether.#Nothing is enjoyable about it anymore once you realize the format everyone follows. So. Yeah I Am Just Bored I Guess.#I also do not want to see what will happen if I am eager for someone’s attention. I either get it and dont care or they want my attention.#i

*Ghosts the one good Will Graham I’ve found* Self care.

#I will. probably go back. The conversation was good. Better than most internet weirdos have a right to be.#But like. I just cannot. Deal with shit. I don’t want to have to deal with like. the whole. Are you going to end up liking me because I.#give you attention and Am Apathy. The roles I subject myself to because I feel like I am in a play.. Exhausting...#No. Yeah. I will unghost him.#Edit: No? I shouldn’t?#I

Nah I know I have. some semblance of love and romance in me. I know I do. Underneath the layers of self hate, my pickiness, all that. I want to be understood and believe it or not, understand someone. Agh. I can’t take it anymore though. I’m quite tired of myself and all of my personalities. I only feel like myself talking to one person and we rarely talk. It’s. fine. It’s alright. I’m good.

#But. Blood drugd and alcohol will make me feel better.#decap

snapsicle

Even I know it’s awful to lose interest in someone in. what, 24 hours? But it just can’t be helped. It’s my need for attention, or certainly my specific type of attention. Fuck it man.

#Leave me alone. I was left on read. Must die now.#i

rhymewithrachel

i can’t believe what ive done

#I am only reblogging this because of Rogue... If that is her name I do not remember.

coolgirl

✨Jason Todd by Nick Robles ✨

mayothompson

need a theme. @rotduet

#this is now officially a vent.#d

I mean. Isn’t it kind of awful to say I feel more like myself when I’m panicking? I feel... wonky. Every kind of wonky. Realistically this is just a surge of emotions that come up when you haven’t been in front but jesus fucking christ.

#w

Okay no this is good this is great I am having a panic attack? What the fuck is even going on at this point.

#w

Haha some shit I managed to repress came back to me and I just had to go and find it again. I am awesome. Completely awesome.

#I am not very well #w

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