dabi + just trauma things: wondering what you’d be like without it
Dabi isn’t domestic. He can’t be. He won’t be.
That part of himself, the part that grew up with a brother and sister he loved, raised by a father and mother who loved, has died.
He’s still Toya, yes. Always has been, always will be. But he’s not the same Toya that he was, the one with red hair who valued honor, and chose justice. Aimed to please, and would’ve picked love.
But he wonders sometimes, Dabi does (especially when he looks at you), that is… what he would’ve been like had his former self not been killed?
Deep down, way too far for him to find, part of him knows that he would’ve been so fucking good.
Good in the way where he saves cats stuck in trees and helps his neighbors carry groceries in. Good in the way he studies well and trains hard.
He would’ve been such kind boy… handsome too, with a great sense of humor that everyone in his class would’ve loved. He would’ve grown up a hero, his body strong and well fed, and he would’ve been the type of man to emulate his father and take care of all the people he loved… even if he’s sure that person would still be a little disgusted by the thought.
(Or he wouldn’t have been a hero, but he’d have been happy at the agency, anyway; wearing blue buttons up and slacks, silver cufflinks on top of pale skin… before coming home to someone he thinks would look a lot like you.)
But there is no future like that waiting for Dabi. There is no graduation, no wedding… and no office, either.
Of course there isn’t, and he’s not sure whether that means he’s still just dreaming… or rather, in mourn.
gummygunk
blakekathryn
theartofmadeline
janainaart
