Transition: Irregularities
Did I forget to mention I was supposed to be Second Year College now? Yes that is right, as I mentioned in my first entry, I am an architecture student, but not anymore at this moment. You may be wondering why, since you are here reading another entry for my blog. You may also be wondering what course did I shifted to, don’t worry ill share it you, just hang in there.
First of all, I believe that no course is easy in College, most of the people say it, and I genuinely believe it. Let’s talk first about Architecture, Architecture is one of the toughest course, I can say as also being one who experienced it. Most of days we draw, and draw, and draw, it’s an endless cycle of doing plates. Most of the nights in a week are being poured to doing plates, sometimes or rather frequently we don’t sleep for a day or two. Yes it is tiring, it is tough and it’s really difficult to explain in details.
That reality knocked me off real hard; I admit to myself that I wasn’t expecting it to be what it is. I really can’t tell what is wrong or what could’ve I have done too supplement all my shortcomings. Is it because of the pandemic? How about the deafening silence of the inevitable depleting social interactions in the four corners of my room? Is it because I am incapable, dumb and irresponsible? I honestly can’t tell you exactly why, but do you know what I am certain of? That there is no one to blame nor anything to point to rather than myself. It is what it is; it happened there is nothing I can do about it. It is too late now to think deeply and find the blame to consolidate my ego, anxiety and guilt will just consume me if I’ll stay and think the same way.
Is shifting to another course hard or heavy? The answer is yes, and the hardest part of it all is overthinking that everything that flashes your mind. For me during that time is I am afraid, afraid of what my parents would think that I wasted almost a year in my studies. Guilt and anxiety will definitely haunt your mind and it will be here for maybe for a long, long time. Self-doubt will reign over you and could deteriorate every light that could shine. It will be an experience that will remain a mark down deep in my soul.
Even the process of shifting is stressful enough, thankfully I made it here in the College of Engineering but the path is steep and has a lot of frustrations and confusions. I was delayed for a couple of weeks in my first weeks in Computer which I’ll tell more details on my next entry.
However, having experienced all of this, will I still recommend shifting or what can I tell to someone who is now experiencing the same? Well as much I don’t want anyone to experience the same and will be delayed the same as I do, things could really turn to worst and it’s the reality. So here’s something that perhaps I could tell to somehow help, a few days ago my professor is giving some advice or rather he was telling a story about giving advice to student who are experiencing like giving up or shifting. He said that as much, anyone should not give up immediately, and I do agree and in a way that it should be thought thoroughly, because mine was a bit of a repulsive reaction. I would also like to say that it is okay to make mistakes; people are born with incapability and that sometimes in life we have to feel miserable in order to learn. Life is also not a race; learn to clap in other’s spotlight because we have our own timings. You may think of yourself as a failure, but aren't we all at some point in our lives? So be somebody nobody thought you could be! Just trust yourself, trust God, and continue to fight!
