SATAN'S NEICE🌹

k.d. (katten) she/they 29. infp. Bi. Medicated 🍃 Water Protector 💧 C-PTSD, GAD, MDD, BDD, BPD. Sagittarius Sun•Gemini Moon•Sagittarius Rising. (tropical) Scorpio Sun // Taurus Moon // Aquarius Rising. (sidereal) Reiki Master Practitioner. Poet. Creatrix. Death Doula. In Flow🌀 #BERADICALLYVULNERABLE

[k-luna]

my blog’s theme is me. a compilation of every single thing i love. every interest. every musing. and everything in between.

[mossfilms]

mood:

[rosieandthemoon]

"La Femme-Escargot" circa 1900 {info}

[beautifulbacteria]

Late again

[theprofessorofdesire]

Daisies (Vera Chytilová, 1966)

[cozy-the-overlord]

I’ve seen several people talking about how it makes them feel weird that Dog Years, a song that is explicitly about suicidal ideation, is something Halsey performs as a sexy song, and while that’s completely fair, I personally think the performance style fits the song really well, even if it’s uncomfortable? (In fact, I think the discomfort is a purposeful, important element of the whole song)

Discussion of suicidal ideation and sex as a unenthusiastic performance below the cut

The first time I heard Dog Years I called it “evil petplay” when explaining it to my friends because that imagery seems so deliberate. Halsey’s voice is getting all husky and low as they croon about what a good dog they’ve been and how they like a tight leash, and especially given their known love of/interest in kink, that takes your mind to a very specific and imo intentional place. But they turn it on its head — if they’re going to be a dog, then they’re an old, tired, weak, sickly one and they want to be put out of their misery and euthanized like you would any pet in that state, and that is very not sexy. It’s a visceral image that can be quite upsetting and uncomfortable, all the more so when paired with the very sexually charged chorus. It makes that chorus feel like more of a reluctant performance — she doesn’t feel sexy, she’s not in the mood, but it’s what’s expected of her and so she’s going along with it and hey, if she’s a good girl maybe she’ll get lucky and they’ll put her down. “I’m not here, I’m somewhere else” — they’re going through the motions of the performance and playing along with what’s expected of them but their heart is not in it, and they feel nothing towards it.

And I feel like that plays into the entire theme of The Great Impersonator as a whole? The whole idea of the expected performance and what that experience does to a person: going through the motions because you’re an entertainer and your job is to entertain and put on a show, but the whole time you’re in the darkest place you’ve ever been both physically and mentally, so sick that you truly expect you aren’t going to survive it. But you still have to do the show, you still have to make it look good, you still have to be appealing to the crowd, and so you have to play the good girl who loves her tight leash because that’s fun and sexy, and the rest of it is something you keep to yourself because people don’t want to hear about that.

I really like the staging of Dog Years on the FMLT tour for that reason. There is something so visceral about Halsey sitting in sexy leather lingerie while literally chained to the stage singing about how much they want someone to just kill them. Sure, it’s sexy, but she is stuck there performing for you, even as she’s voicing some of the darkest thoughts a person can have about themselves. How does that make you feel? Is it hot? Are you enjoying it? Should you be? That just fits the vibe I get from that song so well.

Of course, I could be fully misreading and Halsey could have had completely different intentions for this song, but that’s just how I’ve seen it?

[tiredandlonelymuse]

BIGGGGG BRAIN ^^^

dog years is about getting fucked, bound, beaten, and gagged by a sadist dom/domme of a God. And begging, pleading, with all your might that it will stop if you just behave. And if it doesn’t stop, at least just let me die. dog years is about being leashed to the stairwell, trapped in the house. Lighting up at the sound of the door knob jingling, hoping your Terrible Master has finally arrived home with a smile for the first time in years to ask you “wanna go for a ride in the caaaaaaar?!” but he doesn’t. He tightens the leash. you’ve done everything right and you’ve behaved yourself. Sat when told. Ignored the mailmen. Down girl. But it doesn’t matter. You’re gonna waste away on the stairwell. You’re gonna dream about the ‘farm’ where you’ve heard the other dogs get to go when their Owner God doesn’t want them anymore. The fun place. You don’t care if it’s a really just a bullet in the head. Your keeper is wicked and your body is oppressing you, you didn’t ask to be kept. You used to be the sort of person who would fuck and fight and kick to your death. But you’re going to meet it like a scared and submissive animal. Eat the chocolate from the hand of your killer and wag your tail. You’re nothing.

[jadeinaries]

not to be dramatic on main, but having access to an album that speaks this precisely to the grief, pain, depression, and isolation that take over your life when you get sick has been an absolute god send to me the last year. whenever i feel like i can't or don't want to keep living like this, i put on this album and experience a level of catharsis and understanding that can only come from a person who knows exactly what it feels like to have all the pain you've bottled up since childhood manifest itself in ways that feel terrifying and uncontrollable. happy 1st bday great impersonator 🎂💫 i truly don't know what i would've done without you

[tiredandlonelymuse]

Hey this made me cry real tears. If one person feels this way, it’s all worth it. I’d go back and write it 100 more times. Thank you 🤍

[iskippedthepartaboutlove]

[nixscriptum]

[selestial-skies]

Green Grass And Sunshine

[aloneandforsakenbyfateandbyman]

Nightmares Come at Night (1970)

[04k96]

[gaypornvideoswebsite]

mid-way pride month check-in

[gaypornvideoswebsite]

just saw someone comment under a videoclip of the sylvia rivera interview where she insists on the modern (circa 2001) pride movement being a capitalist smokescreen, a “straight gay” movement that worships the almighty dollar, that:

and this person is likely quite young but this really really really captures the limited imagination of capitalist neoliberal indoctrination around freedom and liberation. radical queerness treated as a paintjob over a prison as opposed to the bulldozer that tears the prison down. we have to dream for so much more and endure the pain of dreaming.

[queeranarchism]

#the queer owned small business third space community events venue posts a help wanted thing at least once a month #wherein they ask for someone to have availability ALL DAY six days a week. to work. a grand total of 15-20 hours during said week #the position is actually three jobs in a trenchcoat sounds extremely stressful and pays minimum wage #they also don't pay most of their artists because it's supposed to somehow be mutual aid to let people perform there #the coffee is ten dollars and their pastries are from Sysco

[true-equal]

“game cat” (2007)

[laterkiss]

i have [gestures vaguely] my tendencies

[kaijuno]

Moon and Venus conjunction

[fairycosmos]

hey is anyone else sick of having to adapt to horrible conditions over and over again

[fairycosmos]

the humble woolly mammoth