How I See You...

This is where I keep my memories. All photos are taken by Kris Sebastian, unless stated.

[krisseb]

I’ve recently just finished watching Normal People, and I know it’s kinda late. I’m just the type that waits for the hype to die down a bit, so I can see it in its full glory without prior judgment from the outside noise of the internet. I guess, I can say it’s really beautiful. I love all of it, the realness between characters, the realness of life portrayed in each scene. I love how Marianne and Connell fit together in their truest form, in all the gory details. I really think it’s really how love is, it’s patient, it waits, and it never gives up. I guess when you find that person that you love, everything is forgivable, and it changes you for the better. 

What I love the most from series is the little moments between them. I remember when they were talking about “best friends” and Connell told Marianne “you are my best friend”, and she just beamed. That look was just priceless and sincere, and that’s love; it leaks from every corner of your body. I also love the scene above, they were just driving and listening to Christmas songs, and laughing, and teasing each other, and Connell swiped his hand on Marianne’s head, and she just stayed there, feeling it all. I love how everything was so pure, and real. I’m just so grateful I got to see this show, because it made believe in real love. 

[krisseb]

Hey! It’s been a while, maybe 3 years or so. I just thought of going back here to write and post random photos that I’m too shy about at instagram. Also, I like being dramatic, and this place is very forgivable to my Pisces tendencies. Anyway, so many things have changed in my life. It’s major I know, things that I never thought I would be doing. I lost so much weight, and well moved back to the province at the height of the pandemic. I know, haha, it’s too funny to imagine I’m now here living like I never left, the girl from the gig haven’t seen a live music in 3 years. I remember how I dread being here for long. Like this place is such a tiny box for me. I felt suffocated, and controlled, but look at me now, everything is steady.

I like how my life is now. I feel at peace at my surroundings. I feel like I had too much of the manila competition and pressure, that I always felt like I’m not doing things the right way. I still feel like that sometimes, but I’m learning to just wait for the right timing of things. Yeah right timing. It has all been proven and it was shown in front of me so I’ll believe that all will be alright in time. I just think that I need to learn everything first before the plan that was set out for me unfolds. On the other hand, life is good here, it’s simple, peaceful, time is slower, you can afford to take naps, the sunsets are interesting everyday, sometimes boredom strikes, but I’m kind of used to it. Oh by the way, I’m now driving, so I just go to places when the house feels like a cage. I think I’m truly a different person now. I’m more patient, and selfless. Sometimes maybe too selfless. I still miss the noise of manila sometimes, and my friends, the music, the art, all of that. I still cry about it, but I know that I like me more now than before. Maybe this place made me softer, and that’s not too bad at all. Sometimes you have to unhinge the screws a little bit to allow someone/ somethings to get inside you closer. You should see me. You’ll understand what I meant. 

[krisseb]

Shinjuku 2019. Shinjuku’s such a lovely area filled with lights and busy alleys, but it felt so calm in ways I can’t explain. I wanted to cry when I saw the neon signs from the stores. I remember Charlotte in so many parts of Tokyo, how lonely she must be to be in a place surrounded by so many strangers, to feel so alone, and confused about a marriage she committed herself into, or about what she wants in life. I remember her asking Bob if it gets any easier, and Bob telling her that she has to figure out herself first. That’s hard.

[krisseb]

Kansai 2017, I never thought my Japan dream will come true. This was almost like a spur of the moment trip with just a few months of preparation with my parents. It felt so amazing to see the people, the culture, and everything in here. The tiny alleys felt like unraveling stories, the neon signs and street lights made it feel like I’m in a new world, and I couldn’t help but get lost in it. I would love to live here.

[krisseb]

Taiwan 2

[krisseb]

Taiwan 1

I went to Taiwan first week of April 2017. It was planned just last February but I’ve been wanting to go to this place since last year. I have friends who already visited this place and I’ve heard so many good things about it. I was at most excited to see the art and the culture of Taiwan.

I have so much plans in my mind when we were just planning the itinerary and all but in my mind I just want to have those quiet moments where you just take it all in, like pausing and just being in the here and now.

It was such a magical place I can tell you. The 7eleven midnight runs, the long walks, the lights at night, the trains and buses, the people who are too kind, the cherry blossoms, MOCA, and sky lanterns. I will never forget this place, this is the first that I felt so at home in a distant country where almost no one can understand me. Looking forward to coming back.

Photos are 35 mm film.

[krisseb]

As dark as my soul ☕️ #vsco #vscocam

[krisseb]

Talumpati sa harap ng isang tao Walang ibang kailangan, lahat kabisado Buo ang loob ko sa iyo Ganito ako kasigurado

[krisseb]

Nice

[krisseb]

"I'll find your lips in the streetlights"

[krisseb]

It's quite a long time since i travelled back home staring at fields and roads. I spend most of the time sleeping while in transit 'cause i travel pretty early. Yesterday was different. I was in awe for half an hour staring at this scene, like bed of clouds in an isolated place. I could just jump in and feel the comfort after a long lonely travel. I'm thankful that even small things make my heart flutter.

[krisseb]

Postcard face from a trip to Hongkong last january. I miss traveling. It makes me feel at ease because i can prove to myself that i can leave this place easily. I want to leave most of the time. I want to

[krisseb]

I'll be your sinner in secret

[krisseb]

Mahal na mahal

[krisseb]

Ghostly

[krisseb]

Went to the beach after a long time. It was a surreal feeling like i'm meant to be there or something. Sometimes, manila is just too suffocating. I'll keep coming back to Flotsam and Jetsam, La Union. 💖

[krisseb]

Just had my first ever tattoo last night. I've been wanting to have one since high school and everytime i try to look for a design, i'd settle for it for some time then change my mind. So the plan got really delayed until last night. I have a friend who got a tattoo of Andy Warhol's signature so three nights before i got my tattoo i looked for Helena Bonham Carter's signature and it's so pretty i decided to get it as a tattoo. I love her! I'm such a huge fan so this is some sort of a tribute to her 💖 I'm really happy with the outcome and it didn't hurt at all!! Now i'm just waiting for it to heal 💖💖💖