kunikida is king

bungou stray dogs addict - INFJ - she/her - 18+ adult - CONTAINS spoilers! block #bsd spoilers

[kunikinnie]

welcomeeee

just a casual BSD sideblog. occasionally writes.

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current events: BSD: Love is War? (100 Followers Milestone) || recently posted: kunikida wants to hold hands

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[kunikinnie]

a/n: the angst writer lives!! this has been in my wips for a long time and just decided to finish it (sorry that Kunikida's is much longer than the others lol)

warnings: some profanity

watching you marry someone else

featuring: Kunikida, Akutagawa, Fukuzawa, Fitzgerald x F!Reader

Kunikida Doppo

a/n: based on my aunt's story + this is sort of a sequel to this short fic

He didn't know why he came here. Was it because the entire Agency attended? Most likely, but he's not quite sure himself.

It might be wrong for him to be here in the first place. It was he who dumped you, after all. But he supposed that your working relationship after that wasn't too strained - if anything, it seemed you were still good friends. Perhaps your romantic history had been superseded by your more recent interactions, so there's nothing for him to be worried about.

The venue of your wedding was an excellent choice. Nothing flashy yet elegant, and the decorations were quite refined. It seemed well-planned as well. He mentally took notes for his own - if he were ever to have one, that is. At the back of his mind old drafts of the wedding you two could've had suddenly reappeared along with old memories that should've long been forgotten.

Fortunately the pain growing in his chest stopped momentarily when you finally appeared at the entrance. His eyes widened, shocked at how beautiful you looked. It was perfect. From the way your dress showed off your figure in all the right places to the way your hair fell lovingly on your shoulders to the way the sunlight emphasized the brightness of your eyes - it was truly perfect.

Somehow he imagined it was him you were walking to. It was as if his greatest dream was suddenly becoming a reality, and the ideal life he had been chasing for so long was finally within his grasp. The millisecond-long glance you showed him felt like you were intently gazing at him for hours.

But the harsh truth came crashing down as you continued to walk past him. The moment your eyes met the grooms', Kunikida saw the invisible link you two had. It was something to admire, really, but also something to be envious about.

The pain in his chest returned with ten times the force it had earlier. As the minutes passed so did his frustration rise, and every thought he had from the moment you two broke up - no, from the very first time you two met each other suddenly overwhelmed him.

Kunikida loved you so much. Nothing has changed and it never will. If he simply never became ambitious, if he simply never lied to himself, if he simply never trusted his stupid brain over his heart then maybe-

"Kunikida-san, there's an emergency at the office."

Tanizaki's whisper caught him off-guard. But within seconds he recomposed himself. Although the wedding was far from over, duty came first.

He discreetly said goodbye to his coworkers and silently left the venue with his junior. Of course, he stole one last glance at you before finally leaving.

Surprisingly Tanizaki took the wheel, but Kunikida paid it no mind as seconds could not be wasted when more urgent matters were at hand.

"What's the situation like? What happened?"

Strangely, the younger detective continued to drive off in silence.

"Oi, Tanizaki. Didn't you hear me?"

The more he hesitated, the more the older detective became suspicious. What the hell was he up to?

"A-actually," Tanizaki finally replied. "Nothing happened. It's just that Dazai-san said-"

"What?!"

"I-I mean we could all feel it, Kunikida-san. We thought you just needed some space to let it all out."

"There's no need." He sighed heavily. "Really, you're all worried for nothing. We should head back."

Still, he did not stir. "They'll be exchanging vows by the time we get back."

It was Kunikida's turn to be silent. Even if the car continued to travel further away from your wedding, it was almost as if he could hear those vows being recited right in front of him.

His eyes remained fixed on the road ahead, focusing on nothing in particular. A single tear fell down his cheek which he promptly wiped off with the back of his hand.

"It's okay, senpai. You can pretend I'm not here."

Kunikida wasn't sure why he broke at those words. It was quite unbecoming of a senior to show his emotions this openly to a coworker, let alone someone much younger than him.

Yet the tears won't stop coming. It was as if the frustration that built up across the years finally let itself free. When was he ever honest about his feelings on the matter? When has he ever shared the truth with anyone, even with himself? The bitterness at each sob was so great that he was sure his voice would be hoarse by the next day.

His ideals should've brought you happiness - that's the most fundamental rule he completely forgot. Yet maybe it was his failure in keeping that that ironically brought you to the one who will truly bring you everlasting joy. He'd have to learn to accept this fact, even if it meant forgetting the what-ifs, even if it meant letting you go, even if it meant sacrificing his own happiness.

Akutagawa Ryuunosuke

The whole place was so... bright. Everything was white and fluffy, from the flowers on the aisle to the lights hanging on the trees. It was strange. It felt like he was in a children's book.

How unfitting for someone like him whose very being was, in essence, black. From his hair to his shoes, his coat, and perhaps even his soul.

But it's not like the guests noticed a shadow silently standing between other shadows. If anything, his whole outfit made him blend into the background perfectly as he intended. After all, Akutagawa wasn't in the strictest sense (or perhaps even loosest sense) invited to your wedding. He peeked behind the trees blocking your own little heaven from the noise of hell-like earth.

In fact, he could barely see what was happening. People in light colored formal garb, both male and female, the groom sporting something that stood out even more from the guests - he felt dizzy just looking at the scene.

But the moment you stepped in, all the color and light seemed to dim. Your white dress dazzled in the sunlight and your face shone brighter than he remembered. Has it really been so long since you last met?

All he could do was stare at you from the shadows. Your light was so blinding to his darkness, yet his eyes refused to shift their focus. How could he, when he knew that this would probably be the last time he'd ever see you?

You were better off without him. If you stayed with him, your smile would never be like the one you wore now. It's not like he could ever force himself upon you, either, even if it seemed that you cared for him more than anyone should have-

His chest began to throb painfully. The searing pain was much greater than most attacks he's had, rendering him almost completely helpless. Shit. If someone were to attack now, he'd be dead. Or if he were to give himself away and you spot him - ugh. He'd rather die.

Akutagawa struggled to walk away slowly, deciding to forget everything he saw there. It didn't do anything good for him. Why did he even decide to come here? Was he such a masochist to remember everything "good" you ever brought into his life? Wasn't it enough that he'd dream of you more often than he'd like, only to wake up in total darkness?

Each step he took triggered a memory for him. Each smile, each laugh, each embrace that you so cruelly bestowed upon him felt more real than the scene he just witnessed. Your... love had not yet disappeared, at least not in his mind, and how dearly he wished he could've relished in it a little bit more before it truly faded away.

Still, he was somewhat thankful he didn't. If it were granted, he would've craved your love more and left him with more pain in the end.

He still had that stupid sunflower keychain you gave him. It was a small crocheted piece, tattered but still quite vibrant in its colors. He never understood why you gave him that specifically in the first place. He only knew that you wanted it to make him happy.

Well, it still somewhat accomplishes that goal. It's the only physical remembrance of you he still has left, after all.

But like the sunflower that dies without the warmth of sunlight, he promised to let his feelings wither along with the memory of your smile.

Fukuzawa Yukichi

Unspoken words last longer. Deny it as much as he'd like, the truth is Fukuzawa's feelings for you had only grown deeper as the years passed by and only now did he wholeheartedly regret not telling you sooner.

He'd convinced himself that being friends - no, best friends was the best thing that could've happened between the two of you. No matter how much time was spent away from the other, each moment you two had together was only made more precious; it was as if you had never been separated in the first place.

All your dreams, all your hurts, all your pains - everything, he knew. And it was mostly true vice versa, except for that one very fact that stubbornly kept secret all this time.

He wasn't sure if he was truly glad to have been invited to your wedding. Sure, it was an intimate friends-and-family-only occasion that he was honored to be part of, yet the meant having to face the ultimate reality that he had for so long ignored.

He was present at your side of the wedding preparations. While others were scurrying along to bring you things you needed, he stood idly as clueless as ever. Maybe he should've just headed directly to the venue instead...

Suddenly, you requested him to enter your room. Well, if he could finally be useful then what was he to-

Astonished isn't even enough to describe his reaction. His hand froze on the doorknob the moment his eyes landed on you. Were you always this beautiful? Because it felt almost wrong to look at you, especially when his heart was holding things it shouldn't be.

"Hi Yu-kun," you spoke as usual. "I hope I'm not bothering you." Of course you're not a bother. You could never be a bother. "Just wanted a little chat to ease the anxiety, you know? My mind's been all over the place since last night."

You began spilling out of some of your true feelings - or perhaps intrusive thoughts is the better term. Worries about how you looked, how the guests were feeling, but most importantly worries about the future occupied your headspace.

He did his best to comfort you in his own way. Pre-marriage jitters are completely normal, and there was nothing he'd do to ease your nerves, wedding at hand or not.

"Actually... there's something I want to ask you. Before everything, you know, gets set in place..."

From that it was his turn to get nervous. He had an inkling as to what you were going to ask, and he wasn't sure if was ready to handle where this was going. He held his breath as each syllable escaped your lips.

"D-did you really... did you really never-"

"It seems they're looking for you, Y/N."

No, he was not ready. He couldn't be honest to you right now. How could you ask him now of all times? But at least he did not lie with his 'excuse' - you did have to leave soon and head to the wedding.

Without a hitch, everything went as planned. You walked down the aisle with all your loveliness, took the hand of the love of your life, and exchanged vows with him. Everything went so smoothly Fukuzawa nearly forgot about your earlier conversation.

It was during your dance with your now husband that he remembered everything. He silently watched the way your skirt flowed with every gentle step you took. Would he ever have been lucky to have danced with you like this had he been honest earlier?

Perhaps. But at this point, should he even think about that? He wished for nothing more than a peaceful married life for you, and disturbing that with a belated confession would do no good. That's why he dodged your question - not that he was worried your relationship with him would strain somehow.

Well, it's not like you actually asked him the question about that. He just assumed that's where it would go. And he's just assuming that you too had feelings for him that never went anywhere because of his own cowardice.

Agh. Maybe he should have waited for you to finish speaking. That way he'd never be left with unanswered questions and that he could have the closure he needed.

The night ended with neither of you bringing up what happened in the dressing room. You'd never bring it up in the future either, and in a way spared Fukuzawa half the pain. Seeing you happy, albeit with another man, was more than enough to satisfy his aching heart.

Francis Scott Fitzgerald

You two were quite young when he fell madly in love with you. But unlike youth, Francis was convinced his love for you would never go away. You didn't seem to agree, however.

Time can be cruel. He'd been working his ass off just to make a future with you possible - not just so that he could live another day, but also so that he could provide the future you wanted. So why? Why didn't you wait for him to come back?

In a way, he blames you for it. You could've been at least a little more patient. He never lied to you when he said he's been spending most of his waking time at work, or that not for a second did he forget why he was working so hard to begin with: to be with you and only you.

Yet for the most part, he blames himself. Had he been more efficient, he would've earned more and been able to return to your arms. Perhaps he could have gone down a different route that would've made him financially secure faster. Maybe you also felt unloved as he had little time for you - had he addressed your emotional needs better perhaps this story would have a different ending.

No. The story had yet to end. You loved him the way he loved you, right? You didn't lie to him, did you? So he still had a chance before you finally tied the knot - all he had to do was make it in time.

He'd raise an objection at the marriage. You'd suddenly snap your head to the source of the voice and meet his eyes, then you'd run into his arms and envelope him in your loving embrace, asking him why he only came back for you now. "I missed you so much," you'd say as he'd sweetly kiss your forehead like he did so many times in the past.

But he didn't make it in time. As he ran to the entrance the ceremony had already finished, and lavishly dressed guests were leaving to make it to the reception. That's alright, he said to himself, maybe he could still convince you if only he could meet you during the reception somehow.

The opportunity never came, however. He followed the trail of guests to the banquet your now husband without doubt had prepared for you. Francis recognized some of your favorite dishes among those being served, and it slowly broke his heart seeing how this new man of yours took good care of you.

He finally saw you seated beside your husband, dolled up perfectly to the role of a rich businessman's wife. He would've wanted to enter the hall and try to approach you, but the guards wouldn't let him take a single step inside.

There was still the end of the reception, right? Just one moment with you was all he needed. Good Lord, please just grant him this one opportunity to talk to you, even if there was no chance of getting back together with you. Francis just had to know - he just needed to talk to you one last time.

You finally left the venue, but there was no opening for him. You couldn't even spare him a glance. It was already hard for him to take one last proper look at you, so imagine how much harder would it be to talk to you again.

He couldn't sleep properly that night. The tears silently flowed down as he gently clutched a picture of yours, pretending that you were right beside him caressing his hand.

Why did everything go wrong? Why did nothing go his way? Was he truly a nobody, even to you, the love of his life?

From then on he vowed to make himself a man worthy enough to stand on your level. Someday he'd be able to speak to you once more, and the time will come when he'd provide you a better life than what even your filthy rich husband could. Someday, you'd learn to love him again.

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[kunikinnie]

kunikida wants to hold hands

BSD: Love is War? 100 Followers Event Genre: fluff Word count: 2k Warnings: none, I think Synopsis: This not-a-date couldn't get any worse. a/n: gotta make Kunikida happy somewhere, right? HAHAHAH AFTER 2 YEARS!!! also tagging @requiem626k! finally did it omg (also there's an Ace Attorney ref there somewhere hope someone notices heh)

This was not a date. 

That, dear readers, was the hundredth iteration of that very phrase in Kunikida’s mind. The ceaseless reminders were necessary for him to stay grounded in reality - or so he said.

Sure, he was in an amusement park. Sure, he was walking around with you. Sure, you were wearing clothes that were far more flattering on you than your usual.

But no. This was not a date. 

Your clients were chatting away in their line for one of the rides up to the very moment they entered it.

“It’s great that they’re having fun,” you said before licking your ice cream. It would be a shame if they hired bodyguards just so that they could have a “date” only for it to bore them, you thought.

“True, but don’t let it get to your head.” Your coworker’s eyes were fixed on your cone. “We’re not here to have fun.”

“I know. It’s still such a waste, though.”

You readjusted how you sat on the concrete bench, accidentally grazing his hand in the process. When you first entered the Agency, you used to apologize immediately after any accidental physical contact. However, years of working with your then superior have made you comfortable enough to ignore it.

For him, however, it was the complete opposite: the more he got to know you, the more he’d become mental over every single touch of yours, no matter how minor. 

That one just now was the 17th of that day alone - nearly thrice the daily average. Worse is that they lasted longer and had more skin contact than the average as well. Were you doing this on purpose? Or were you just that dense?

With how fast these numbers were rising, it’s no surprise how his blood pressure was about to set a new record.

“But we have to blend in somehow, right?”

“We’re already wearing casual clothes, Y/N.”

“Yeah, but we still don’t look like the others here - you know what I mean?”

Of course he knew what you meant. Most people that would visit an amusement park on a weekday were either students who had nothing better to do or couples whose schedules only allowed for these days. Guess which demographic happened to fill up the entire area during your mission.

…so what were you suggesting he did? Move closer? Win you stuff? Hold your hand? Because if you really wanted to, he would do any of those - even all of them at once. 

“We need to stay professional,” he said without missing a beat.

“Oh, just loosen up. Come on. You look like an annoyed dad forced to chaperone his teenage daughter with how deep your forehead lines are.”

At this point, he was used to your teasing, but still… annoyed dad? Really? Kunikida furrowed his eyebrows even further. “What should I look like, then?”

You stared at him, gears almost visibly turning. Under the scrutiny of your gaze he felt like the very ice cream that was melting in your hands. “Like this, maybe?”

Before he could guess what you were about to do, he felt something fluffy but stiff hug his head. It must have been a silly headband of sorts, judging from your barely-contained laughter - what the heck was it exactly?

He took the mystery headband off and stared at it. It was a pair of bunny ears.

“I thought you didn’t want us to stick out?”

“You wouldn’t stick out if you weren’t such a killjoy,” you grumbled. “At least you’d look cute with those on.”

 C-cute?

“Anyway, they're about to go to the next ride,” you said as you picked up your things and prepared to leave. “We should get moving too and stay professional.”

Ouch. A direct arrow to the heart. “Y-yes, got it.”

—

Unfortunately, Kunikida’s professionalism dwindled even further. But no, it wasn’t because of you. Well, yes, but actually no. 

The question of acting like a couple for the sake of the mission had been tossed around in his head countless times. Each and every assignment was given utmost importance and must be completed successfully at all means necessary. Had it been anyone else, Kunikida wouldn’t have given it a second thought.

But this is you were talking about. Something as simple as holding your hand was sending him into overdrive. Sure, he could hide his feelings as best as he could the whole day if needed, but what if he screwed up somehow and ended up putting you in an awkward position? Worse, what if you caught on behind his hidden motivations and rejected him in the middle of a mission? 

That would suck. Hard.

Plus, knowing that Dazai skipped work today and recently purchased a pair of binoculars, Kunikida was intent on not slipping up. What if that bastard were to take photos and tease him - worse, you, about it?

That would suck. Even harder.

“Are you okay, Kunikida-san?”

No, no he was not. “I-It’s a bit colder today than I expected.” It couldn’t be further from the truth - if anything, he wanted to sit forever under the shade - but it was the first excuse his dazed mind could come up with.

“Really? That’s new. You always come prepared.” 

Well, he was prepared with dealing with the situation at hand (i.e. lying), but it wouldn’t be right to say he was prepared to deal with his emotions for the rest of the day. If he were, he wouldn’t have had to stick to a stupid lie like this in the first place… although the temptation to use it as a reason to hold your hand was flipping his brain inside out.

But he was Kunikida Doppo. Professional detective of the professional Armed Detective Agency. He must not ruin his image any further. “It happens to all of us-”

He was cut off by a sudden draping of gentle warmth - you had put your own jacket over his shoulders. The astonishment left him speechless, staring at you like he had violated you somehow.

“Don’t worry about me. I literally just ate ice cream - you think I feel cold?”

“But-”

“It’s fine.” You smiled so sweetly to ease him but the guilt only continued to swallow him up. “Think about it as thanks for everything you’ve done for me.”

If that’s how you want to put it, then he had no reason to refuse. But that didn’t change the truth. How shameful of him, really. What a terrible senior, let alone aspiring boyfriend he was. If he were to receive any punishment for his acts, he would accept it gladly. He’d atone for his sins and live as a renewed man.

…and it seems someone above heard his prayer.

The two of you were now standing in front of the attraction your clients just entered.

“D-do we have to go in?” He asked meekly.

“I mean, shouldn’t we? If someone wanted to hurt them, the haunted house is the perfect choice. It’s dark, pretty isolated, and they could easily pose as one of the actors.”

Yes, you were right. You were absolutely right. The haunted house is the perfect choice in more ways than one… 

And just as he promised, Kunikida accepted his fate and walked into the realm of his worst nightmares.

Stoic as he was, you still took notice of his strange behavior. Despite the dim lighting you saw his face turn pale and his grip on your small jacket tighten significantly. Only then did your other senior’s words echo in your mind.

Nothing’s better than watching a horror movie with Kunikida-kun! 

Ah. How brave of him to enter then, you thought.

But to him, it was a foolish decision. It was the most foolishly made foolish decision he made that day as his mistakes had made themselves known once more. Just the heat from the additional jacket increased his sweat production, and his clammy hands nearly tore through the fabric. Never mind that you witnessed him like this now; at this point he’s so done the only desire he had left was not to tarnish the reputation of the Agency to your clients.

Although his senses were bombarded in almost every way possible, he forced them all to focus on the two in front of him - as if there were no one else, including you - and soon, it eased him by at least 20%. Then suddenly, an unaccounted 20% decrease relieved him as well - why that was the case he wasn’t sure.

He didn’t give the last observation much thought, however. By the time his brain slowly began to function again, you and your clients finally made it out of the house. Alive.

“I see why it’s pretty famous,” you chirped. “It really was scary!” 

You didn’t even seem bothered at all. Well, as long as you and your clients had fun, then all his suffering would not go in vain-

 Wait, since when was he holding your hand? 

“Oh, someone’s calling.”

As quick as the realization came, so did you let go of his hand to swipe your phone from your pocket. The mix of embarrassment and disappointment that swelled as your lingering warmth slowly disappeared couldn’t be fully described. 

“Yes. Alright, sir. We’ll be right there.”

—

And just like that, your clients left. Quite satisfied clients, you might even say.

“What a day that was!” You said as you stretched your arms. It was a surprise how full of energy you were, considering that you two were in the park for as long as the sun was up. “Weird that they didn’t catch the fireworks, though.”

“Fireworks?” 

“Well, it’s actually for some other event in some other place. But this is where the best view is!”

You pointed at the largest attraction in the park: the ferris wheel.

“...if you’d like to join me, that is.”

The two of you knew he had plans after your mission. In fact, you were convinced that he’d have rushed to leave right after they said goodbye. But to your surprise, he gladly accepted your offer.

“Of course I would.”

Half of him was surprised he gave in. The silent cries of errands to be done were almost deafening, given how much he had to reschedule because he spent too much time getting ready that morning. But the other and embarrassingly louder half was simply overjoyed at this opportunity to fulfill a secret wish of his: to ride the ferris wheel with the person he loved most.

Perhaps it was that elation that erased whatever anxiety he’d gone through that day. For the moment he began talking with you casually from the end of the line to the moment you entered the cab, he almost forgot every single embarrassing act and thought he’d gathered.

How could he forget the joy of just talking to and being with you? 

“Kunikida-san-” 

The fireworks started bursting in the sky, lighting it up with colorful hues.  

“You’re right,” you continued. “It is cold today.”

It took a few moments before your words registered into his brain. “Ah, right. Sorry about that.”

He swiftly removed your jacket from his shoulders and gently draped them over yours. And he should have just as swiftly let go, but the way you were staring at him made it impossible to let go. The look in your beautiful eyes… the thoughts that followed were nearly just as impossible to resist.

“I’m sorry.”

You suddenly stole the words he should be saying. But why?

“I should have been more clear.”

Before he knew it, you took his hand and grasped it firmly.

“This would warm me up much better.”

Hearing you say that literally took him aback. What was the meaning of that? Why would- Wait-

Your chuckle only deepened the redness on his entire face. “I’ve been trying to stop myself the whole day, you know.” You couldn’t have been joking. With that expression, you couldn’t have been… right?

“Then-” he nearly choked.  “Then you shouldn’t have stopped yourself.”

His voice was so soft that if you hadn’t been in an enclosed space, you might not have heard it at all. Yet every word made it through. “I thought you said we had to stay professional?”

He smiled. You were right. As your cab reached the top of the wheel and the fireworks boomed as loudly as your hearts, he finally intertwined his fingers with yours.

“I suppose there can be exceptions.”

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[kunikinnie]

tempted to write a few fics about glasses lol already writing one as I speak HAHA

[kunikinnie]

a/n: this one was in the drafts for a long time lol anw hope you guys like it!

birthday

Today passed quicker than you expected. Since your birthday plans were canceled due to his work, you had much more time to do other things - although of course the disappointment did not fully dissipate. 

You were typing away at your laptop, focusing on work that demanded utmost attention, and by the time you had finished the clock almost struck midnight. Was it that late? Oh well. One last look at your phone messages was all you had to do before sleeping anyway - your heart was especially expectant when you checked on his conversation - but there was nothing. Such was life, you thought, and you were about to tuck yourself in when a loud knock interrupted you. 

Curiously you strode to your door, and the moment you opened it you nearly gasped at the mess of a man standing in front of it.

“Wh-what am I looking at…?” you asked in confusion.

“Your boyfriend…?”

Tetchou was far from presentable: his cap was barely on his sweaty hair and his uniform stained with blood aside from the torn and frayed portions. It was the complete opposite from the bouquet of flowers in his two fingers that were immaculate and fresh.

“No, I mean what is that?” 

Your eyes were fixed on the large triangular metal sheet with “Happy Birthday” hastily painted on it. The marks of steel being ripped from its center were apparent, so this could only be…

“I thought flowers weren’t enough so I wanted to make a placard… but I didn’t have any materials so I just used this traffic sign that I accidentally cut off during the chase.”

The absurdity of it all made you question your sanity. So he couldn’t find an illustration board or something similar but there was paint lying around? Were you just in a fever dream? That was the most logical explanation, but the strength of the scent of his sweat when he stepped closer to you suggested otherwise. 

“Sorry… is it too much?” 

The puppy eyes that you kept falling for had landed a critical hit once again. Yes, it was too much - too much compared to what you had expected he would ever do for you for something so inane as this. Yet your heart couldn’t help but swell with delight at his efforts.

“You didn’t have to, but thank you..”

Without further delay you let him inside your warm apartment. He handed over his bouquet and the improvised placard which you placed on the table and swapped for your own present. All the while you continued to barrage him with questions and words of concern: Why was his uniform in tatters? Was he injured? Why did he push himself to come here today? Yet he answered none of those and simply sprawled beside your bed. 

“At least change first, please?”

“Too tired… ran all the way here,” he panted. The image of him running poker faced with the giant stop sign was one you never thought you’d have to imagine, but then again nothing was impossible with Tetchou.

“Besides,” he continued, eyes only half open. “I promised you I’d come today. You were so excited so… can’t… just…”

You quickly caught him before his face hit the floor. He should have come tomorrow instead. Or maybe on the weekend if he was that busy. A few more days to add to the weeks you hadn’t seen him in person was nothing compared to his immediate welfare.  

The guilt and gratitude overflowed as you pulled him up to your bed. He always took care of you whenever he could, so helping him get a good night’s sleep is the least you could do in return. And that in itself was something you were more than glad to do for him - why would you do any less for the love of your life?

You placed a soft kiss on his forehead.  “Thank you, Tetchou,” you whispered before finally retiring for the night in your spare futon.

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[kunikinnie]

a/n: oddly specific prompt as it's based on recent experiences lol lemme indulge (also lowkey a mess but whatever HAHA) warning: some profanity

comforting you after a breakup (and you getting sick in the process)

featuring: Kunikida, Akutagawa x GN!Reader

Kunikida Doppo

He'd drop by your place more often that he should. But it's not that it was uncalled for (although of course he was worried that he was overstepping boundaries). In fact, you were always grateful for his help.

"How are you feeling?"

"A bit better," you'd reply with a weak smile. It was always like this every visit and for every other visit to come. He'd bring you some food, sometimes those which he cooked himself, your favorite snacks, and whatever it is you requested from his previous visit.

While you were glad you had a friend around to brighten up the place in your darkest moments, sometimes the guilt would get to you. Wasn't he spoiling you a bit too much?

Perhaps he was, but to him, this was hardly anything at all. Yes, he was doing it for you, but he was also doing all of these things to ease his own guilt and pain from seeing you like this.

He promised he would always be there for you. It shouldn't have been hard, given how loyal of a friend he was (and given how deeply he had fallen for you) , yet he'd failed at looking out for you when you needed him most.

Maybe if he'd acted sooner, you wouldn't have fallen for that bastard. Maybe if he'd tried a little harder, you wouldn't have to sacrifice so much for a man who would never have done the same for you. Maybe if he'd had been more honest, you would've realized that you were loved - so greatly loved, really - even if that came from a person so unworthy such as himself.

The moment he found out your bouts of illness weren't just unlucky coincidences was the moment everything crashed down for him. There was nothing more painful for him than seeing you in pain, whether it be emotionally or physically. That's why he couldn't take it anymore when everything started going downhill for your health and your relationship.

He's glad that at least the initiative to break up with that scoundrel came from you. However, the temptation to strangle him if Kunikida ever bumped into him always lingered in his mind. Perhaps it was fate that spared both of them the headache; he never ran into him since you two broke up.

How could your ex waste your love and affection like that? Why did he leave you hanging in the air when you needed him most? Why did you have to fall for him anyway?

Of course he didn't want to think of himself as being the better choice as he also has his own weaknesses and issues to work out, but at least Kunikida knew he'd never let you second-guess or tire yourself to death.

He'd never force you to fit his ideal because he's learned to love you for the person you are.

"Thanks so much for all this."

Your smiles alone made all his worries vanish into thin air. Didn't you notice how much brighter they are now? It's the only reward he could ever ask for, even if sooner or later those very smiles would be reserved for someone else.

"I'll come again tomorrow. Just let me know if you need anything."

"Nah, it's fine. Your presence is more than enough."

Words couldn't encapsulate the joy he felt from hearing that. If only he could return those same words with the same level of honesty...

"Aww, he's happy to hear that."

W-was it really that obvious? Then did you also notice-

"Okay, okay I'll stop teasing you. You should go home now, it's late."

"I'll be fine. You should be fine too. Don't forget your meds. Also you can heat up the-"

"Yes, yes, I got it. Don't worry about me too much. I think you should be worrying about Dazai-san's latest case instead-"

Ah, right. Sometimes he wished that his partner would at least spare him half the trouble so that he could visit you more often...

Akutagawa Ryuunosuke

He couldn't understand anything of what was happening to you, and to some extent, to himself as well.

He was aware he had no idea nor any intention as to knowing what "love," let alone being in a relationship meant. So when he learned that you had been dating someone else, he had been largely unaffected.

Well, at least that was what he said. It was obvious to anyone close to him that he was, in fact, extremely affected. The mere mention of your name was enough to shake him and sometimes even sour his mood.

But if this so-called "love" was the reason your smiles seemed to be brighter, then he had no right to feel the way he did.

As time passed, he distanced himself from the very thought of you. There was no point in dwelling on something that causes you pain, he claimed. Sure, sometimes you'd bump into each other and he'd feel lighter when you greet each other, and maybe he'd look out for you during missions as he always did, but they were just out of duty as your superior.

Yet the moment he found you one night crying in the middle of the rain, his resolution had been all but forgotten.

He used Rashoumon as an umbrella for the both of you before (awkwardly) asking what had happened. You suddenly hugged him tightly, despite being drenched from the rain, and continued to sob into his shirt.

"I guess he has no place for someone weak like me," you barely managed to say.

That statement puzzled him. You? But you were one of the most capable members the mafia, not just in terms of power and agility, but also in intelligence and strength of character.

It was not until he finally brought you to the hospital (because of course you got a fever from crying in the rain, dumbass) that everything was made clear.

You were diagnosed with a rare disease that had no treatment. Turns out you found a few days ago and were about to tell your partner that night, until he left you (literally) stranded in the middle of the rain for no good reason. He must have been tired of dealing with your symptoms - that was your conclusion.

"And still you refused to seek shelter like the idiot that you are," he said with great annoyance, but with no harshness in his tone. He could understand where you're coming from, of course, but compromising your health as if you were seeking death over something like that irritated him.

But what angered him more was your ex's (he supposed he was already your ex) behavior. To someone like Akutagawa who didn't even claim to truly know what "love" meant, it was disgusting to see someone abandon their lover like that. Worst part was that had to be you.

You having an illness, terminal or not, was not an excuse. If anything, that should have made him more determined to be by your side until the very end, right?

He hadn't realized you had already drifted to sleep. Despite your pale and reddened face and your puffy tear-streaked eyes, seeing you at peace for even just a moment brought him some peace of mind as well.

He was caught in a flurry of thoughts, ranging from wanting to choke your ex to coming to terms with the idea that he himself had fallen in love with you, and even to wishing that he could take your illness instead.

None of those really mattered right now, at least. The one thing that was clear was that you had to recover quickly and fully. If that meant he had to distance himself even further, then so be it. But if him being around would help in any way at all, then he'd swear to never leave your side and nothing - I mean nothing - can deter him from that.

taglist: @stygianoir, @irethepotato, @kisara-16reblogs, @thatdazaikin, @dazaee, @menshusband, @celestair, @bloobewy, @renaxnnas, @kunikida-simp

[kunikinnie]

a/n: sorry this took SO long but here it is! super excited for the next part! tw: mentions of violence, blood

Nabe Part 3 - Whirlwind

Your long vacation was a well-deserved and restful one. Weeks to yourself without having to think about the slightest bit about work was all you needed to recharge mentally and emotionally.

However, today’s events undid that whole respite in a single tug.

First, a woman whose body was nearly totally severed from the head was sprawled in an absolute mess of a room. You’ve never seen that much or violence before, let alone that much blood – a little blood your ass - and the smell – oh God the smell! Thinking about it wanted to make you vomit.

Then this kid of Fukuzawa’s that was extremely remarkable in intelligence and arrogance… was he the reason your neighbor’s hair seemed to have paled even further? It’s a miracle there wasn’t a second murder earlier given how furious the superintendent was.

“It’s not my fault that he was wrong!”

“But it’s your fault for bringing up his ex-wife,” you exasperatedly repeated. “No one will listen to you if you keep being rude like that.”

He only grunted in reply. Did it finally get in his head? Well, whatever. As long as somehow things managed to settle down then that was more than enough for you.

Police men and the like were still scurrying about the crime scene, taking their last bits of photographic evidence before cleaning up. The culprit, exposed by Ranpo, had already confessed on the spot, and although you’d consider this case fully closed and high time to return home, Ranpo’s payment had yet to be handed over. Anything that goes through protocol always seemed to take forever, you thought.   

Now that you two were sitting idly beside each other, the questions behind this kid’s origins and his exact relationship to your neighbor began to unearth themselves from the recesses of your mind.

Was he his biological son? Nothing about Ranpo’s behavior nor appearance could be linked to Fukuzawa. Whatever energy one had was completely absent in the other, and whatever mood one was possessed with was the complete opposite of the other’s. The only thing they had in common was their lack of social skills although for different reasons. Other than that there was no resemblance at all.

Then could he be the biological son of whomever he’s seeing now? Truth be told that was the first thing that came to mind after Fukuzawa’s hesitant response, but if he did have a girlfriend then you wouldn’t even be here. Well, it didn’t seem like he was capable of charming any woman given his conversational skills in the first place, so-

You suddenly slapped both of your cheeks. How could you even think that?

“You didn’t have to come here if you didn’t want to,” Ranpo muttered as he continued to swing his legs back and forth.

“I-It’s not like that!”

Why did you even volunteer to be here? You weren’t close with either of the pair and you owed nothing to them, yet the moment you saw how the usually steely eyes were shaken with worry, you couldn’t help but feel compelled to do something about it.

“Sorry to keep you waiting.” A breathless young officer carrying two thick letter envelopes stopped in front of you. He handed one to Ranpo and the other, for some reason, to you.

“This is for all your trouble, ma’am,” he replied in earnest. “We’re extremely grateful to you for keeping your son in check.”

Son? Wait, when did- Oh. You completely forgot.

Your mouth was slightly open, ready to counter but Ranpo spoke up first. “No one will listen to you if you keep being inconsistent like that,” he said with a smirk, more than pleased that he was able to use your own words against you. Cheeky kid.

At least there was financial compensation for your headache today. Not a huge sum, but far from meager. Yet it wasn’t enough to fill in the guilt that remained in your heart.

As you were walking away from the station, Ranpo was dull and quiet: far from the impression you had of him yesterday. Had your agitation gotten the better of you? If that were the case, then what a failure of an adult you were, letting a child be affected by your own emotions.

“Ranpo-kun,” you began, trying to break the silence. “I-I’m sorry if I was too harsh with you.”

“…it’s okay,” he meekly replied. He also mumbled an apology, and although you barely heard it it was good enough for you. The tension had at least subsided.

Yet Ranpo was still sluggish. Concerned, you gently pat his shoulder. “Why the long face? You did well earlier, right?”

He only continued to sulk further – the true cause, something you would never figure out until much later. Without any ideas left, you decided to go with the one and only go-to solution you knew.

“Then let me treat you somewhere nice.” He finally seemed to perk up. “Wherever you want. On me. What do you say?”

A big grin suddenly appeared as if a switch had been turned on. But just as quickly did it disappear – or at least it tried to. “W-well, they say it’s rude not to accept, right?”

You chuckled at his attempt at being a bit more cordial. Despite his… rowdiness, you certainly preferred it to his silence. “You deserve it anyway. You were amazing back there.”

“Of course. It’s thanks to my special ability.” There’s that special ability he mentioned earlier. “I can see through the truth easily, like a true great detective!” He put on his glasses again as he struck a pose, emphasizing the last two words.

“Although I really don’t get adults sometimes,” he suddenly added. “She knew he had a record but she still became his girlfriend.”

“It’s a complicated thing. Sometimes people are compassionate to a fault and think that they can fix people, especially through a romantic relationship. Sometimes they’re just blind to reality. But sometimes, they simply have no way of getting out…”

The thought of the same thing happening to you sent a shiver down your spine. 

“But I’ll make sure I won’t make the same mistake. I’ll never fall for someone whose hands are forever stained.”

Perhaps you were misreading his expression, but you were sure his face darkened for a fraction of a second. “Yeah,” was all he replied to that. It would’ve bothered you for a bit longer if not for his usual behavior bothering you once again.

“Anyway!” He exclaimed. “Can we ride a taxi now? I’m super tired and super hungry. All this walking is turning my legs to jelly…”

---

When he opened his eyes, the room was completely dark and silent. How long has he been out? If the outside of the window was that dark, that would mean he slept the entire day. How surprising - perhaps he had neglected himself more than he thought.

“You’re up now!”

Fukuzawa expected a sharp headache upon hearing Ranpo’s yelling, but fortunately none came.

“I’ll just heat up L/N-san’s soup so you can get strong again,” he continued on, although hardly any of what he said entered the older man’s brain. He was more concerned with the case. Were you and he able to handle it?

“Don’t worry about the case. We ended it cleanly – no loose ends and stuff.”

Fukuzawa let go a long sigh of relief. That’s good to hear. Hopefully he didn’t trouble you too much. “We’ll have to buy L/N-san some fruits as a thank you gift for today.” Although I’m not really sure how to thank her properly without explaining much, he thought, and without difficulty Ranpo read right through him.

“Nah, it’s fine. I told her everything.”   

…everything? What did he mean by everything?

“Like how you adopted me, how I ended up solving cases, how poor we are-“

As much as Fukuzawa wanted to correct the first and last statements, he was far too worried about something more important. “Don’t tell me you told her about-“ 

“O-of course not!”

The fury and anxiety that seized Fukuzawa whenever his previous occupation was brought up had returned, leaving the boy half stunned. Fortunately, it subsided just as quickly. He cleared his throat. It was wrong of him to get so worked up again. “Good, then. But don’t say ‘everything’ so casually.”

“…sorry.” 

Within moments, Ranpo was back to his usual self, yapping on about the case as well as the entire conversation you had at his favorite fried chicken joint to the moment you two arrived back.

Perhaps just a single basket of mandarins wouldn’t be enough this time…

[kunikinnie]

ok but don't you just sometimes think... Suehiro Tetchou?

[kunikiiida-kuuun]

Favorite Kunikida styles!

Happy Birthday Kunikida Doppo ♡

30.08.2023

bonus:

[benetnvsch]

Its still Kunikida day here so here's my birthday gift to him- kind of lost the bones style but good enough for me-

[tricoloured-cat]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KUNIKIDA! sorry guys decided to do this instead of what you wre expecting HAHA anyway

my top 5 kunikida cards from mayoi

based on a mix of strength, utility, art, and just vibes

NOTE: this is purely based on what Mayoi has blessed me with. that, unfortunately, does not include the Masquerade and Chinatown ones WARNING: barely coherent ramblings and lots of simping HAHA

5: [Harvest Moon]

Oh the tears of joy I wept when I finally got this even after the event... how could I not cry? Look at it! Kunikuni with a bunny! AND it's animated! tho ngl not a fan of the animation

Art and concept aside, it's part of the top 5 because it's actually pretty useful. Decent ATK, one-hit-kill + azure orbs to omni, not to mention its leader skill reduces turns for active skill? Pretty good!

4: [Doppo Poet]

A classic. His first SSR. But it really is good and I do use him a lot because of how strong his active skill is. 100% ATK and 100% marble force increase, and best part is it lasts for 3 turns! Not one I'd put as the leader definitely, but it's a great support for the rest of the team.

3: [Rainy Season]

The first smiley Kuni card I have would be the [Resplendent Banquet] - and imo it's STILL the cutest sprite and skill animation - but aside smile I have to give it to [Rainy Season] for giving us a beautiful, colorful, and amazing leader of a card. I ADORE the skill animation as well, but this card isn't ranked higher because the active skill isn't that great.

2: [Year of the Tiger]

I'm a big fan of the traditional stuff - better if it's got the traditional vibes like this one! The washed out colors, the composition of the main art, and just the overall concept is definitely in my taste. Another smiley Kuni (ofc) but more subtle and more of a proud type. I just LOVE this card because it has a great leader AND active skill. It's just not higher because I'm biased towards...

1: [Joyous Night]

This is my second SSR Kuni ever and it's still my favorite to this day. I gave nearly all my moons then JUST for the art (card change one) because LOOK. He's SMILING. He's HAPPY. He's got his HANDS in his POCKETS. He's HOT in his SUIT-

No but seriously as a concept plus the colors and composition of the main artwork AND the cute contented sprite - I just HAD to get it. Thank you Mayoi for blessing me with this AGH

The reason why it's also one of my all-time favs is because of its active skill. I'm biased towards high ATK (150%) increase + something else, and that something else just happens to be "piercing marble" effect which is super useful. You could finish two waves in just two turns with this one.

HONORABLE MENTIONS: FAV SRs

3: Fish- I mean [Vivid Color]

It's a strong SR. The leader skill isn't great BUT paired with other SRs its active skill is actually pretty decent. Also, fish.

2: Azure Ki- I mean [Tarot]

Honestly, the only reason why this ranks higher than Vivid Color is because the art is *chef's kiss* HAHA The active skill is meh but at least the leader skill is good!

1: Fish again- I mean [Enjoying Nature]

Great leader skill. Decent active skill. Man's about to enjoy his favorite hobby. Need I say more?

---

AAAAND that's it! My mini-Kuni tribute for today. Just looking for an excuse to gush about him and the amazing art dedicated to him... ugh I love him sm GIVE HIM MORE CARDS, BSD MAYOI!

[kunikinnie]

all hail kunikida the pretty blonde

- u know who

the prettiest blond deserves no less

[bottled-river]

if there's a blonde man in a show or game, there's a 95% chance i'm in love with him

[kunikinnie]

Hiii! How are you? Hope you are well! I was searching through Fukuzawa X reader's tag and I saw your headcanons for "accidently hurting their SO" and it was soooo cute!! Are your requests open, by any chance? If they are, is there any chance you could write headcanons with the same prompt, but with Dazai, Chuuya, Akutagawa and Atsushi? If they are not, just know that you are a great writer and I just loved your work!!

a/n: HELLO I'M ALIVE! sorry these SO LONG but here they are :) some of them might be ooc but ahkdjsf also if you're curious i was reading Spinning Gears while writing Aku's so ye

warnings: profanity, mentions of violence, blood, very angsty for some, probably ooc

accidentally hurting their s/o during an argument

featuring: Dazai, Chuuya, Akutagawa, Atsushi x GN!Reader

Dazai Osamu

There was something uncertain that stirred something deep within him - something he couldn't bring himself to face.

It could've been anything: the staleness of the air, the lingering aftertaste of the shitty coffee he had that morning, an intrusive thought he left uncontrolled, the sadness of the setting sun...

Not knowing the source bothered him. It bothered him so much that although words were flying exasperatedly throughout the room, he had regressed into his own mind.

It was the wrong move. He had underestimated how powerful the darkness was, and as it continued to grow like a whirlpool, he was swallowed into an ocean of abandoned thoughts.

He hadn't felt like this in years. Memories and voices from those times reverberated so strongly that nothing from the current moment could touch him. He didn't even have any idea what was happening.

Yet just a single phrase had managed to penetrate, and as soon as it hit it had triggered something despicable.

It was the silence that followed that snapped him out of it, not the stinging sensation at the back of his hand.

You slowly slumped down the wall and onto the floor. Not for a single moment did your stunned expression or blank eyes waver - in your silent tears flowed the last drops of your energy.

"I'm sorry," you whispered. Why were you apologizing? It was he who had done wrong, so why-

"Y/N..." he weakly called out, only to be met with another apology.

"Y/N, I'm sorry..."

He fell down to his knees before tightly embracing your whole body. He apologized once more, yet you didn't even stir. Another attempt amounted to nothing. Desperate to feel something from you, his grasp on you tightened further.

"Y/N, I love you-"

How many times had he said that? Countless times at this point, countless. Each and every one was as genuine as it could get - he hoped you knew that - yet none of them seemed to reach the same level of sincerity and regret to those declarations of those moments.

For all the eloquent speech this man had cultivated over the years, there he was, repeating the same three words over and over again - each iteration once more getting twice as desperate - until finally your hand grasped his shirt.

He could still feel your tears flowing freely, but at least you relaxed somewhat, letting him relax somewhat as well.

"I love you too," you weakly replied. "I love you so much... idiot..."

No words were exchanged after that; perhaps none were needed, or rather none existed that could fill in that need. The whole night he never let you go - not even once - as you two reconciled in each other's presence in silence.

Nakahara Chuuya

It's no secret that Chuuya's temper was more volatile than his favorite wine. Depite that, however, he doesn't let his emotions get the better him. Otherwise, he wouldn't have made it this far in the mafia hierarchy.

Today was different. The stressful events of the week left him with hardly any room to breathe, and an argument at home was the last thing he needed.

"Can't you handle that shit yourself, Y/N?!"

He knew that you knew that there were times, such as now, when he should not be approached. So why were you here, being more insistent than ever?

The tone of your voice was already rubbing off of him, and you just had to-

"Fucking hell-"

Without thinking, he kicked the chair beside him. The poor thing managed to take most of his anger, but a piece of debris had unfortunately broken off and flew, hitting you squarely on the face.

It was in such unbelievably perfect timing that Chuuya thought at first his mind had come this stupid situation until he heard your scoff clearly.

"What the-"

Before you could process what had happened, he ran to you and grabbed you into a tight embrace.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N."

You just stood there, still confused. Your forehead stung a bit, but it was nothing compared to the warmth you were enveloped in all of the sudden. You had expected a raging anger and frustration from Chuuya but it just... disappeared.

"Shit- I really didn't mean to, Y/N. I'm sorry-"

Were you relieved to hear that from him? Sure, a bit. But what about the fury that was all-consuming just a while ago? What were you to do with that?

Your silent rumination only unsettled him more. If he clueless as to what you were thinking, he would be just as lost as with what to do.

"Let's go over it again, okay? I'm not going to get mad this time."

More than the chair, it was his words that he flung at you that upset him the most now that he was sober from his emotions.

"I swear I won't get mad. So talk to me. Please. Y/N-"

He was vigorously but gently shaking your shoulder all the while, hoping to get something from you.

And he finally did - but a loud laugh was not what he expected.

"This is so stupid."

It was his turn to be confused. Yes, it was stupid - stupid of him to have done any of that - but he had no idea what you meant by that.

You wrapped your arms around him and buried your head in his neck. "I mean - a flying piece of broken chair? Really?"

"I'm sorry, Y/N-"

"I'm also sorry," you finally said calmly. "I knew you've been stressed recently, but I-"

"It's still my fault. It ain't your fault."

"No. It's mine."

"The heck are you saying?"

You stared at him again, pouting this time yet barely able to contain your laughter.

"Tsk. We are not going to fight over this," he answered playfully.

As quickly as the tension built so did it dissipate - a feature of most of your quarrels that the two of you were grateful to have.

You embraced him tightly once more. "I'm so lucky to have you, Chuuya."

Although you couldn't see his face, you could feel his smile spread. "Same here."

"I love you, Chuuya."

He loosened his grip on you before kissing you on the forehead. "I love you too."

Akutagawa Ryuunosuke

You both knew this would happen eventually. Yet that didn't make things any easier when it did.

The rage had blinded him instantly; he didn't even realize it happen. Within a split second there was a reddish-black flash and a small familiar gasp.

The scent of blood triggered such a vivid vision for him. You had fallen to the floor soundlessly, and there you were lying lifelessly. It was a vision he'd seen many times before - in lucid moments, in delirium, oftentimes in his sleep.

It couldn't be real this time... could it? By instinct, he covered his right eye with his hand. There he still saw the same bloody scene, while on the left eye he saw that there was nothing in front of him: no pool of blood and no motionless corpse. But as what always happened when he tried to disillusion himself, a headache then formed.

Only letting himself relax a bit, Akutagawa began to slowly look for you. He was sure there was blood spilled - although his eyes failed him, his nose never did. The same goes for all his other senses, it seemed, and so he let those four lead them to you.

He landed in front of a mahogany door. The sobbing and shuffling were unmistakable to him despite the thickness of the wood muffling the sounds significantly. He carefully approached and knocked on it lightly before calling out your name.

"Y/N...?"

The whimpering did not stop in the slightest, shaking him further. What if you weren't actually there and his hearing became unreliable as well?

"Y/N, please answer. I need to know you're there..."

His eyes saw fresh blood ooze out of the gap between the door and the floor. No. There was nothing there; his nose and fingers confirmed it. Shit. His delusions were getting worse even if both of his eyes were closed.

"Y/N, please... forgive me-"

There was no way you could, he thought. You shouldn't, you wouldn't, and if it was true that he had hurt you let alone kill you, then he wouldn't forgive himself either.

The gentle creak of the door jolted him despite how soft and slow you opened the door. He was met by a disheveled and tear-stricken you, blood slowly dripping down from your left arm. So many words flashed by in his vision but the only one that came out of his lips was your name.

"Y/N..."

His hand slowly reached for you - although where it aimed to touch it had no idea - as he waited for any sign from you to stop. You seemed fine with it, and his fingers ended up softly landing on the wound. It was just a graze, fortunately, however the bleeding was still continuous.

He unleashed Rashoumon to wrap and put pressure on the wound. "We should get you to a hospital," he said in a low and gentle voice.

You two wordlessly walked to the nearest clinic, almost wordlessly had your wound treated, and just as silently went back home. The entire time his still persistent headache throbbed along with the worries of what exactly it was you were thinking then. How could you still be okay with this? Or were you already planning to leave him then and there? If that was the best for you, then he had no choice than to accept it.

"Ryuu..." It was so affectionate that he thought he was delusional again. "How's your headache?"

His eyes widened at your words. How did you notice that? "It's not so terrible," he replied weakly. Really, it should be him asking how you were.

"That's good."

Before you entered your own room, he pulled on your other arm (gently) to explain himself. His delusions have been getting worse, that's why his instincts targeted you in his anger. That's what happened, wasn't it? But making such excuses was for weak men, and weak as he may be he couldn't bring himself to waste your sanity any further. He decided to apologize, but he ended up staring intensely into your eyes the entire time.

"It's alright. It's really alright."

"It isn't," he quickly asserted. "And it won't happen again."

Your smile, although weak from that night's endeavors, seemed genuine enough to him. It truly must have been real with the way it somehow subsided his headache. Still, it wasn't enough to wipe away the guilt.

And so he had decided to sleep on the couch: a preemptive measure and act of penance. But it wasn't like he could actually sleep after what happened. Most likely he would've spent the entire night reflecting on the incident and on ways to make it up to you.

"What are you doing?" There was a mix of curiosity, confusion, and amusement in your voice. "I've been waiting for you."

Without waiting for him to reply, you pulled on his arm and dragged him to bed. Your arms then wrapped themselves tightly on his waist.

"...isn't it dangerous? I might hurt you again." He was referring to his dreams affecting his physical sleeping, but his mind had pinned a larger meaning to it.

"You might," you answered nonchalantly. "But knowing you, it would never be intentional."

The gentle weight of your head on his chest had always soothed him. "You trust me too much."

"I do. It's because I love you too much, you know?"

You heard a small scoff, but even if you couldn't see his face you knew it accompanied a small smile.

"I don't know how rough you're having it right now, but please know that my love for you is real... just as I know your love for me is real."

Oh, if only you knew how much those words mattered to him- no. It would be too much.

"I love you, Y/N," he whispered as he embraced you tighter.

"I love you too." You then snuggled deeper into his chest. "Good night, Ryuu. Sweet dreams."

Nakajima Atsushi

Atsushi was always afraid that he'd hurt you some way or the other, and so he was always extremely careful with anything that involved you. Even in arguments he did his best to collect himself (not that he got THAT angry anyway - most of the time he just becomes sad) and not break down in front of you spontaneously.

That's why he wasn't sure why he got so worked up this time. Perhaps everything has just been overwhelming recently and you getting angry at him was simply the final straw. Was he truly such a failure at everything to everyone?!

He was grasping a glass of milk to drink and calm himself when the frustration rushed through his blood. His grip tightened and shattered the glass, spilling liquid, shards, and blood everywhere.

Of course, you somehow quickly remained level-headed and tried to attend to his injury.

"Wait let me see your-"

As soon as your hand grazed his, he swatted it away with great force. Leave me alone, it screamed, and you heard the message loud and clear. Too clear, perhaps, since you took a few steps back to counter the impact.

Your silent and intense stare was what brought him out of it. Just the idea of hitting you, let alone that powerfully, was just so unimaginable to him that he began to break down.

It must've been the tiger's uncontrollable strength again - it's always been that. Whenever he loses control himself it's that wild beast that takes over, causing Atsushi to commit acts of savergy.

But there was no ability at that moment. There was no tiger. There was nothing to blame it on, except himself. By instinct, he retreated to himself and fell to the floor, staring at nothing in particular.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N, I didn't know what I was thinking-"

His stammering and shivering were so intense - it was unlike anything you've seen before. Apology after apology came, but did the complete opposite of relieving you.

You slowly approached him, wondering if you should try and touch him again. Usually your gentle shoulder rubs were enough to calm him down.

"Atsushi...?"

More than being hurt once again, you were more afraid that he'd regressed into that place again.

You tried to snap him out of it slowly: gently talking to him, reassuring him, trying to convince him that you weren't going anywhere despite what happened and will happen.

And by some miracle it worked. His tear-stricken eyes met yours, and the softness in them finally returned.

"Are you okay?" You asked once more.

"Y-yeah, I'm fi- No, wait. Are you okay?"

His hand instinctively shot up to check your hand and arm, but it stopped right before it grazed your skin. What the heck was thinking, trying to grab you right after that?

"Oh, don't worry too much. I'm fine. There's no wound and it probably won't bruise."

Atsushi wanted to breathe easily after hearing you say that but there was more to the question that needed answering. Thankfully, you caught on quickly.

"I swear, I'm fine." You smiled at him again and gently pat his head. "You've apologized enough. So let's just clean up this mess, okay?"

Before you could even attempt to stand up, he practically grabbed you and squeezed your whole being as he buried his head in your neck.

"Thank you, Y/N." He whispered before hugging you even tighter. "I love you so, so much. I promise I'll do better next time."

You returned the gesture. Awgh. How much your heart swelled despite what happened. "I love you too, Atsushi."

Taglist: @stygianoir, @irethepotato, @kisara-16reblogs, @thatdazaikin, @dazaee, @menshusband, @celestair, @bloobewy, @kunikida-simp

[kunikinnie]

a/n: hello guys it's been a LONG while! finally back with just a short one reflecting my mood- I mean just to pick up the pace again. y'all know which fic is coming up next ;)

beach

Atsushi burst into the office with a large stack of binders, sweat dripping from the very top of his head to the tips of his fingers. Surprised at his own loud entrance, he apologized to the other people in the room.

“It’s fine,” Kunikida replied without lifting his eyes from the monitor. “At least you’re doing work instead of being… idly quiet.” 

The last two words were in no doubt referring to the only other person inside. Dazai was sitting comfortably at his armchair - somehow his peaceful and even smug expression disturbed Atsushi. If anything, he expected his senior to be out and about enjoying this fine August afternoon. 

“But what can you do when it’s so hot?” Dazai answered as if he read Atsushi’s mind. “Go outside in this heat? But why? What’s better than enjoying the cool temperature of the office?”

“Maybe keeping your fingers moving?!”

“Oh, but they are moving.” His thumb flicked up in an exaggerated motion, earning another grunt from his partner.  “Just look at all these people complaining about today!”

But only a few thumb swipes later, his amusement suddenly fell flat on its face.

“Is something wrong, Dazai-san-”

“The beach!” He suddenly exclaimed. “Of course - what could be better than going to the beach!”

“But didn’t you just say that-”

“What if I go now, hmm? You think I could still see the sunset-”

Before he could ramble on any further, Dazai was dragged back to his seat and scolded for longer than anyone could care for. The peace of the office had been blown away by such a gentle breeze - as if it were anything new - leaving Atsushi to try and focus on his own work. But before he could do so, a notification from his phone grabbed his attention.

Apparently, you just posted something.

Wish you were here ;)

The photos attached were of you and a few friends by the beach, enjoying yourselves to the fullest. The refreshing drinks, striking swimsuits, and of course your smiles that rivaled the summer sun made for the perfect vacation, he thought, and no doubt this is what soured Dazai’s mood.

He’s as hopeless as ever, Atsushi thought to himself. If only his mentor were more honest with you...

taglist: @irethepotato, @kisara-16reblogs, @thatdazaikin, @dazaee, @menshusband, @celestair, @bloobewy, @kunikida-simp

[marystein-bsd]

apparently we're rare

ive been told at least 3 times that "its not every day you meet a kunikida simp" or "oh wow youre a kunikida lover?" or something like that and every time i think its really funny

like wdym you dont like the neurotic grumpy man who's over 6 feet tall and wears suits and is always stressed out thats like 67% of my fictional crushes

i think i know like.... 1 ?? ( @kunikida-simp )

pls reblog if you are also a kunikida person

[mittencloud9]

happy birthday to the birthday boy! (04/29)

dazai baked him a cake. is it edible?

yes, but it's slowly falling apart!

there might've been many attempts to bake this cake... half of them were burnt.