to live and let go | kum
TAGGING: Sam Evans and Kurt Hummel
LOCATION: Hummel Residence
TIME FRAME: Tuesday, midnight
NOTES: <3
To say that Sam had been nervous and a little unsettled upon getting Kurt’s text message while in the middle of sketching a piece for class that wasn’t due for another week would be a big understatement. It was something about Kurt’s words, about the way he said them… that they needed to talk and that they needed to talk now and that it was important – it made him nervous. Even with Kurt assuring him that there was nothing to be nervous about, he was still nervous. He couldn’t help it.
Biting down on his bottom lip, Sam quickly tapped out a reply to Kurt telling him that he’d be there soon before standing up from his desk and grabbing his purple hoodie, zipping it up over his undershirt and tugging a pair of jeans on over his boxers. He grabbed at his black, beat up Converse, strewn across his floor with each shoe occupying an opposite end of the room (he wasn’t really sure how that happened), slipping them onto his feet before moving to open up his window.
Normally, he would just use the door – but he was pretty sure he could hear his dad rummaging around downstairs at the moment, and Sam was pretty sure that that was something that he didn’t want to deal with right now. Right now, he wanted to have his focus on Kurt and Kurt alone. He didn’t want to think about his dad or any issues going on at home. Not tonight.
He slid out his bedroom window, carefully creeping along the siding on his roof until he was to the lowest point of his house: the garage. He perched himself on the edge, his toes pressed to the gutter, and leaned back until his palms were flat on the roof. He jumped down at once, landing on the pavement hard on his feet, feeling a slight shooting pain up his leg for a moment, but it was nothing that he wasn’t used to by now. Lord knew he’d been doing this enough by now.
He tucked his hands into the pockets of his jacket as he made his way down the sidewalk and toward Kurt’s house. He was trying to rack his brain for anything that Kurt could possibly want to talk to him about. What was it that was so important? Like… scary important? Sam felt like at this point he knew so many details of Kurt’s life, as if he practically knew him inside out. But, deep down, he also knew that there was something left. Something that he didn’t know, something that Kurt hadn’t told him just yet. That maybe, he hadn’t told anyone. But what could it be? Why was Sam so nervous about it?
Kurt had had a rough life, Sam knew that better than anyone. What all Kurt had gone through with Bill was unimaginable. Unthinkable. It made him sick to his stomach to think about how he took advantage of Kurt over the years – no matter how much Kurt assured Sam it was consensual, it didn’t make it any better in Sam’s eyes. What Bill had done was wrong. Dead wrong. And to do it to Kurt of all people? Nobody deserved what Bill had done. But especially not Kurt.
He found himself nearing Kurt’s house, feeling his heart skipping a couple beats in his chest. It wasn’t skipping beats like it normally was anymore – when he was excited for slipping into Kurt’s bedroom and crawling under the covers with him until their bodies were sliding together… this was a different kind of erratic heartbeat. The scary kind. Nervous. Unsettling.
He picked up a pebble from the grass, tossing it at the window until Kurt’s figure appeared, opening the window and staring back at Sam. Sam broke out into a grin instantly, almost as if he’d forgotten about everything else in the world for a couple of moments. God, he loved him. He wasn’t sure he could ever say that enough. He loved him, he loved him, he loved him.
“Romantic, huh?” Sam asked with a crooked grin, raising his eyebrows. “Romantic is totally one of my middle names.” He rubbed his hands together for a moment before moving toward the rickety lattice, making his way up the crisscrosses and praying that they wouldn’t break and cause him to break his leg in the process. Once he made it to Kurt’s window, he crawled in, landing on the floor with an ungraceful thud before looking back up at Kurt and offering him a wide smile.
KURT
He stood up, until he was eye level with his boyfriend, and wrapped his arms around him, swaying him back and forth for a moment before breaking away just enough that he could press a kiss to his lips and nudge his forehead to Kurt’s. “Hey you,” he murmured with a smile. “What’s up?”
The moment that Kurt saw Sam approaching on the lawn, his tongue felt five inches thick. Suddenly the words that he had neatly sorted and organized in his brain were nothing but a mess. That happened a lot with Sam though—even if Kurt was in the middle of an important train of thought, one look from Sam caused it to derail completely. What he needed to say however was too important for that—he needed to have his head on properly and do this. Kurt couldn’t wait any longer.
Kurt watched contentedly as Sam hoisted himself up onto the lattice and Kurt couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh. That was just like him—never doing anything practical and always going out of his way for Kurt. Always doing whatever he could just to get a smile out of him. It always worked—Sam had Kurt wrapped around his pinky with a pretty red ribbon.
He stepped back as Sam manoeuvred through the window and flopped down on the floor. Kurt extended his hand out and helped Sam back to his feet, biting back a grin as Sam wrapped his arms securely around his waist. Kurt lived for little moments like this—the two of them swaying slightly in the dim lighting of his bedroom. It was when he felt the safest—like nothing in the world would ever convince Sam to go.
But... maybe now he wasn’t so sure. The corner of Kurt’s lips fell and his smile vanished. He averted his eyes and drew in a deep breath. “I need to tell you something important,” Kurt hesitantly spoke, guiding Sam’s hands away from his waist as he took a step backwards. After what seemed like forever, Kurt sat himself down on the edge of the bed and glanced around the room. “It happened in here, you know.” He shrugged his shoulders and looked back at Sam. “Everything. Everything happened in here. From the very beginning to the end.”
Kurt brushed his foot against the carpet and looked down, his stomach twisting and turning like a rollercoaster he wanted to get off of. “We had to get a new carpet in here after. The wood underneath is still stained with blood. It’s like... we could cover it up and cover it up and make it seem like it’s okay but it never fixes anything, you know? It’s always going to be there. It’s not something that can just be covered up.”
Kurt pulled his legs up and crossed them in front of himself. He sat there for a while, nothing but the dull hum through the walls filling the room. He finally spoke. “That’s why I needed to talk to you, Sam.” Kurt looked up, feeling the sting of tears welling in his eyes. “I needed to stop covering it up and I need to tell someone or else I’m... I’m going to burst. I haven’t told anyone... not my dad, not even Puck.”
Kurt swallowed hard. His body felt heavy and he couldn’t stop shaking. Not even sucking in a deep breath could stop the reaction—he needed to calm down, he needed to collect himself before the whirlwind of emotions caused him to have a substantial breakdown. Reaching up, he wiped violently at his eyes and exhaled the truth. “I killed him.”
