izzy's playlists!
noise dept.
occasionally subtle
One Nice Bug Per Day
Peter Solarz
Kaledo Art
cherry valley forever
blake kathryn
oozey mess
DEAR READER
Claire Keane
ojovivo
RMH
KIROKAZE
Show & Tell
Misplaced Lens Cap
Sweet Seals For You, Always
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Andulka
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
seen from Canada
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seen from China
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seen from Netherlands
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seen from Türkiye
seen from Singapore
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@kvyes
there are parts of myself here that i don't even know anymore and finding a way to open my heart to this space is difficult. there's too much past and not enough present. i'm thinking about building something new and comforting. something better for my heart and thoughts. i haven't fully committed but when i do i'll be sure to let you know where i've settled. until then, i've found another outlet. follow my insta to keep up with my forever changing shenanigans. @kvy.s
today i am eighteen and all is good in the world
late start, best start
something needs to be said about the comfort of a toasted frozen waffle topped w a lil butter n maple syrup
snaps of how my day has been so far: hanging wrinkled laundry, eating good food, a long cycling sesh, and using my drake parking ticket as a book mark to remember the amazing night i had tuesday when i got to see the love of my life live.
gochujang tofu with steamed veggies and brown rice noodles, topped with green onion and sesame seeds.
i'm very happy and crazy in love
What are your preferred pronouns, Kay?
she/her are more than fine, thanks for asking!
i’ve been so exhausted these past few days because of my meds transition but i also haven’t smiled as much as i have in the past couple of days in what seems like forever. it feels good to get things done and it feels good to not get things done, to try, to have a support system who sees you doing good and recognizes it. it feels good to have someone special say good morning and ask about your plans for the day and keep you accountable and say that they’re proud of you for taking care of yourself and make you promise to be safe. it feels good to be open about what i’m going through and what i want. it feels good to make decisions for myself and to wear clothes that “aren’t for me” and to dance with the windows open so my neighbors can see me. it feels good to just let things happen. it just feels good to let go.
i don’t think i’ll be able to stop posting pictures of my room when i add something new to it. it’s just too exciting to me, this whole starting over thing. i love it.
this past week has been so good and yet such a learning experience. i’m continuing to learn and accept more things for what they are and my biggest achievement this week has been not doubting myself. i’ve done things this week that i didn’t think i could do or was afraid of doing and there was nothing but good in the end. here’s some highlights of my week:
i got promoted at my job
i used my voice and explained to my doctor that i didn’t think i was progressing on my current medication, and in turn started a new one
i finalized my decision concerning school and am 100% on board with the outcome
i ran 30 min straight for the first time in m o n t h s.
i drove on the highway
i unpacked more boxes and ended up throwing out a ton of things that i truly didn’t need
such small things, but they really made a big impact on my attitude this week. i am very excited, yet open to what august will bring to me- bad and good. fingers crossed
can you post some of ur clothes/outfits because you always look bomb af 😍 and where do u shop?
omg how sweet! i’ve never really thought about posting outfits or anything but i am in the process of starting my wardrobe over with new pieces so maybe i’ll do an update on that one day. as far as where i shop, i do a lot of shopping at gap/old navy, american eagle (aerie especially), and sometimes forever21. i’m honestly very picky about what clothes i spend my money on and my number one priority is comfort if that helps any.
today has me feelin’ like the moon, the stars, and everything in between.
starting the day off the best way: overnight oats + iced coffee, book ordering, laundry, and course work organizing.
today has been such a good day filled with all the things i love doing. since i moved, i’ve been loving the process of redecorating my new room. it has quickly become my new safe space and i’ve really loved picking out all of the decor. in the span of about four days i have built a desk and a bookshelf all by myself and it’s been nice to do something with my hands and build something from the ground up, even if there were already predrilled holes. i also baked a v. peanut butter oreo cake and its so good but i have no idea how it’s going to get eaten my just my mom and i.
otherwise, today has been pretty standard and i’ve been enjoying being able to cook more on my days off. i’ve been looking on college websites to set up tour dates/app due dates, ect and i cant believe this next step is approaching so quickly and it’ll be here before i know it. which just reminds me to live in these moments before adulting becomes a real thing and i’m on my own.
crazy, but exciting, right?
frozen bananas, blueberries, cocoa powder, dates, coconut sugar, cinnamon, almond milk smoothie bowl topped with strawberries, puffed rice, and cinnamon sunrise cereal.
owning my truth and embracing the process of my personal growth have been the two things that i have wholeheartedly accepted into my life the past two months.
i would like to come back and say that i’ve changed into this entirely new person and have made so many discoveries about myself but that would be a fabrication. i throw words like “chaos” and “mess” around so much when i talk about my life, that i no longer see things as a process. i see it as something that can be fixed or cleaned up quickly. i’ve come to the conclusion that life has so many different stages and there is no quick fix for things. things take time, and i am the first to say that my patience level is not high.
that being said, i’m adjusting. i’m taking the process head on and trying to find my voice and place in the world. i’ve also had to make some really big decisions regarding my education, my health, and my relationships. for example:
this morning i made a huge decision concerning my future in IB. this program has been such a huge influence in my life for the past three years, and there are so many good and bad things i have experienced during my journey to become a diploma candidate. my junior year was extremely hard on me with my recent diagnosis and the stress and expectations surrounded within my classrooms. education is so important to me and i felt myself lost in my motivation to learn and succeed. therefore, i have made the decision to cut back my workload in the IB program and become a course certificate candidate. this is me owning my truth. this is me doing what’s best for me with all variables assessed. this is such an emotional decision for me because it has been something that i’ve contemplated but have always steered away from because i didn’t want to let anyone else down. but as i think about it, this is me not letting myself down.
i am so proud of myself and the way i am handling things in life. so much has changed. my parents finalized their divorce, i moved, i start college in about 12 months, i have a job and am surrounded by coworkers that i adore, i have meaningful, mutually beneficial relationships, i’m attending therapy.
there is so much good and so much truth and heart and acceptance. but also tears and frustration and impatience. but this is my space and at this stage, i think this is where i’m meant to be.
today I cut all of the hair I had left off.
