Kwentong Sparks

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[gayandcute]

[kwentongsparks]

Let’s do this babe. Hahahaha. JOKE :P

[kwentongsparks]

sweeeeeet <3

[kwentongsparks]

I hate Fridays. I hate Saturday. So as Sunday. I hate not talking to you about nonsense things. I hate not joking around with you. I hate you for not making sweet moves.

I love Mondays. That’s the only day I’m sure we have time. Time to talk. Time to joke around. Time that you’d make sweet moves.

The rest of the days, are neutral. Why? Because I don’t know if I could talk to you on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursday. Naguguluhan ako sa schedule mo. Hindi ko mawari kung gusto mong makipagusap sa mga araw na yan o hindi. Hindi ko alam kung ayaw mo bang magpa istorbo sa mga araw na yan o gusto mong kulitin kita. Hindi ko alam. Hindi ko na alam. 

So I’ll just stick on Monday. 

[catsorvodkaidk]

[kwentongsparks]

Reply ng kinikilig?

 •HAHAHA.

•Ang sweet mo. 

•Ewan ko sayo. 

•Tigilan mo nga ko. 

•Wag ako. 

•Ge. 

•:''') 

•Talaga? :)  

[kwentongsparks]

I want to go to Cebu on my birthday. But I have no one to go with.

Will you go with me?

[love-for-boys]

[kwentongsparks]

This is sweet

[red-dog-man]

[trashyprinces]

John Tuite & Carlos Santolalla by Ruben Tomas.

[kwentongsparks]

Kunyari may feelings ka sakin, Kunyari gusto modin ako. Tapos pag tapos kanang mag panggap. "KUNYARI OK LANG AKO"

[kwentongsparks]

Ang hirap ng no strings. Nagseselos ka na pero di ka makapagsalita. Nahuhulog kana pero wala kang magawa.

[kwentongsparks]

Kapag malungkot ka nandito ako pag kailangan mo ng kausap handa akong makinig sa drama mo.

Pero sa oras na masaya kana siguro naman hindi muna ako kailangan :)

[kwentongsparks]

Kapag may umamin sa'yo na gusto ka niya, wag mong iiwasan. Di mo alam kung gaano kahirap at kaba yung naramdaman niya bago siya umamin sayo.

[kwentongsparks]

Naayos nga kita pero nasira ko naman sarili ko

Ang martyr ko na pala.

[kwentongsparks]

“kaso ang selfish naman kung pilitin ko ituloy to para dun. sabihin mo mga gusto mo sabihin pero di na ko magchachat. para sayo din to... bye. salamat sa lahat”

after 3 days

“Bakit ka pa bumalik?”

“Ganun ako ka selfish”

Bakit ka nga ba bumalik as if nothing happened? Ano ba ang gusto mo? That day na you chose to leave it all behind, I was broken. Broken dahil nasira ko (siguro ako o siguro ikaw) ang friendship natin. The next day I was trying to move on. I don’t want to act as if ako ang desperate.Ganyan kase talaga ako eh. I choose to hide my feelings and move on. Then luckily, I was over it. The longing for friendship was still there but the also the acceptance was there. Acceptance na wala na talaga. Na we should part ways. I unfriended you na. Para tuluyan na talagang makalimutan kita. Pero I was constantly checking my Skype (kahit inunfriend na kita) kung baka sakali nag message ka. Pero wala eh. Then 3 days after that “tragic” (oa ng tragic) happening, you messaged me. “I miss you. Sorry.” BAKIT BA! ANO NA NAMAN BA! Part of me is happy that you came back. And the logical and rational part of me is telling me na masasaktan lang ulit ako kapag inentertain kita. Na hohopia lang ako kapag kinausap pa kita. Na parang kusa kong binibigay sayo ang sandatang makakapatay sa akin. At the moment, I’m still uncertain and confused. But I want to know why you came back. Why? Why? I’m sure there is an explanation for it. Maybe because may problema ka, at gusto mong pagusapan natin, o bored ka lang. At habang sinusulat ko to, napagtanto kong iba pala ang “sorry” sa “I’m sorry,” So, ano na?

[kwentongsparks]

I Never Meant To Like You This Much: An Openletter

*lahat ng naka italicized ay kanya*

Dear you, 

I don’t know why I’m attached to you. Wait. No. I’m attached to the thought of having someone I can to talk to every night. Without single judgment. We talk a lot, almost everything. We talk about your life. We talk about mine. We talk of other people’s life.

Or maybe, MAYBE, I’m not just attached to the thought of having someone to talk to. Maybe, I’m just in denial. In denial, that you are my addiction. Lol! You’re not even a drug! HAHAHA.

Hey wait. It’s fucking clear to me that we’re friends. Just that. Nothing more than that. It’s also fucking clear to me that you’re straight. You have a girlfriend. And it’s fucking clear to me, that to you, this is just an online hookup. But why? Why? WHYYYYY? They say it’s all in the mind. I was really thinking of us as friends. But I get this weird feeling everytime were chatting. Maybe because of your paasa and pafall words.

You remember when we talked for the first time, I told you “hindi ako into ***.” Then you told me “okay lang,” but I kept on closing the chat window because I know you just want to have c2c. But then you annoyed the fuck out me. And so I decided to play the game. Then out of nowhere, you told me “now you’re interesting.” And then I knew we should skype each other. Then we skyped. SERIOUSLY! You really had patience and efforts there. But I just played the game.

You told me, I was hot. I laughed that off. HAHAHAHA. I’m not hot.

Then you told me “Ayoko masyadong mag-open up. Kase baka mainlove ako sayo,” and I was like, WTF! So I told you “Hindi kita type no,” and you said“Okay… Type naman kita.”

I told you to sleep because you still have to attend your class that morning. But you just shrugged it off and said, “Ayoko pa. Nililigawan pa kita eh.”

Then we were talking about courses. And you told me doctorate ka na, at hindi agad ako naniwala. Sabi mo pa sa akin “hindi mo ko sinasabing maniwala ka.”

“Pwede ko ngang sabihing ako si batman e” Alam mo, noon pa, sabi ko sa sarili ko, kapag nagka bf ako, gusto ko siya ang Batman ko. So na-schock talaga ako ng sinabi mo yun. But I know it’s just a coincidence. That was the start. I kinda like talking to you from then on.

Then you told me you’re a player. You drink a lot. You even smoke. You had sex with other people before. You told me your real you. You never bothered if I would be discouraged or what. A part of me was telling “Ay ano ba tong taong to. ‘Bat ganito siya.” But the bigger part me was admiring your honesty and openness.

“Nagka BF ka na?” Wala pa.

“Gusto mo?” Ewan ko. Pwede siguro. Bakit ba?

“Tara? Hahaha” May ipapakilala ka?

“Oo.” Sino?

“Si Batman”

Kinilig ako dito! Promise! Bakit ba kase si Batman ang ginamit mo? Weakness ko si Batman eh.

Then came the day you stopped contacting me. You said you’re busy. But a part of me didn’t believe your reason. A part of me was saying na hindi ka na babalik. Na na turn off ka na somewhat. So I slowly accepted the fact. But I can’t take it any longer. Two days after, I sent you a message:

“Hi! Aw. Wala lang. Honestly, namimiss ko makipag-usap sa’yo. Ano ba to oy. Ang corny. Hahaha. Ano ba ginawa mo sa akin? -_- Siguro busy ka nga talaga, at hindi ka nga talaga nagtatampo, kaya hindi ka online palagi. Pero okay lang. Ewan ko sayo Batman! Ano bang ginagawa mo sa akin :( pero diba no strings attached naman :P”

Then afternoon, the same day, you sent me a message. Then were back again to our small talks. Small talks that lead to nowhere, somewhere, everywhere.

Then I realized, I’m getting overly-attached. And I know, this will lead to falling in love. And I don’t want to fall. So I stopped talking to you, and shockingly, you also did not bother contacting me. But it was too late. I was falling.

Then one day, you sent me a message saying, “oy!” I don’t know what I felt that right moment. So I replied, and again, the endless talk started.

Somewhere between our endless conversations, you said “Di ka pa nga nagiging akin.” I forgot what we were talking about before that na nasabi mo iyon. Then I told you “Asus. Hindi ako magpapaangkin sa’yo. Nakikita ko na future ko sa’yo. Hahaha,” so sinabi mong, “So iniimagine mo ang future natin? Sweet mo talaga.”

Ew. May pagka feeling ka din no?

“Sarap mo talaga kausap. Lagi ako nangingiti. Sana ganyan ka din sa personal.”

Yes. To those who haven’t figured out yet, we just met online. We’re 903 miles away from each other. We’re two days away by sea, and 2 hours away by air.

“Baka mainlove nga ako sa’yo. Saka kita ligawan.”

“Oo swerte ako na nakilala kita.”

“Gusto ko talaga makita ka.”

Ano ba ‘tong mga pinagsasabi mo? That moment, what I really want to know was what’s going on in your mind. I was scared. I’m afraid. I get lost in sweet words easily. Sweet words makes me lose my grip. I don’t want to lose my grip. I don’t want to fall, AGAIN.

Then I asked you, “Pinapaimpress mo ako no? May gusto ka sa akin? Hahaha.” It was just a joke but maybe, you would answer it seriously so I took the risk on asking.

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

What’s taking you so long to reply?

Then you said “Oo gusto kita.”

I really don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to feel. SO I Shrugged it off.

“Meet me, I’ll give you all the love you need.”

Tang ina! Ano ba to! Ano ba ang pinagsasabi mo?

Sabi ko, “Ako pa talaga makikipagmeet?”

Sabi mo, “Mas madami kase tayo mapuntahan dito eh.”

“Dito ka na lang mag-aral.”

Sabi ko, “Ayoko. Wala akong kakilala jan.”

“Ako. Kasama mo ako sa apartment.”

I replied, “Ayoko. Ayaw ng Dad ko na mag-aral ako sa ibang lugar. Walang kasama Mom ko dito.”

“Sweet mo.”

“Dito ka na lang mag summer.”

“O kaya Christmas break ka pumunta dito.”

“’Pag nainlove ako sa’yo ng sobra pakasal tayo sa US”

“Aalagaan na nga kita.”

“Gusto kita seriously.”

“Sana ganyan ka din sa personal.”

‘Bat mo ba sinasabi to? Gusto mo talaga akong makita? Tell me! Give me an assurance. I was really unsure of what you are doing. Siguro pa fall ka nga. So I hardened my grip. I can’t fall into your trap. I cannot.

Then halos everyday nagchachat tayo.

“Na miss kita.” And many sweet words came. You threw every sweet phrases you could think. While here I am building my wall higher and stronger. So that no words (fucking words) won’t affect me.

Grabe ka talagang gago ka! Pafall mo! Because your sweetness would not stop, I resorted to my defence mechanism. I hardened my grip. Nakiride ako. Nakijoke ako sa mga banat mo. Para hindi ako tuluyang ma fall. Pero ang sabi mo sa akin “Huwag mong piliting makiride. Hindi na nakakatuwa eh. Haha.”

Ano ba talaga gusto mo? Ayokong mafall sayo. Ayokong ayoko. Kase alam ko situation mo. At napakahirap kapag ilalagay ko sarili ko sa buhay mo. Sinasabihan nga kita sa negative side ko, hoping na hindi ka rin ma fall. Pinipigilan ko kase ayoko ring ilagay ka sa mahirap na situation. Ayokong ma fall ka rin sa akin. Ayokong mafall sa’yo.

Kase nga, first, may girlfriend ka. Five years na kayo diba? Ayoko makasira ng relasyon ng iba. Second, alam ko straight ka, may napaka liit na probability na mainlove ka. Third, because we’re both guys. I’m not yet ready to come out. And I know you we’ll be in a situation that’s hard to overcome. And last, long distance. I can’t. I simply cannot. Ang hirap ng long distance.

Alam mo, noon pa man, I was secretly hoping and wishing, na sana lahat ng sinabi mo ay gawa gawa mo lang. Na may girlfriend ka. Na straight ka. I don’t know the reason, pero I WAS wishing it wasn’t true. Pero noon yun. I’ve come to make peace with the truth. 

This could probably be a phase. A short romance maybe. But no matter what happens, I want to thank you. Thank you for being my friend first, for not giving up on me. Siguro isipin mo masyado kong minamadali ang end ng storyang ito. I know we’re still communicating until now, but know that I still want us to be friends. Diba sabi mo gusto mo may makausap ka sa mga bagay na hindi mo nasasabi mo sa gf o sa barkada mo. I’ll be the one. Ayoko lang muna matigil tong communication natin. You have no idea how much I like you, how much you make me smile, how much I love talking to you, or how much I wish you were mine. Pero sa ngayon ayoko nang isiping patungo tayo sa love. Kung darating man yun, let’s just cross the bridge when we get there.

Sincerely Your babe.

[kwentongsparks]

”But i will tell my mind. Convince it I dont need you, I don’t.

I will tell my heart , convince it I don’t love you, I don’t.

And I will tell myself that I can live without you. Oh no. Though I’d be lying at least I’m trying to move on.”