L2Swizzle

Ive got 99 problems and all of them are concerning me greatly

[l-swizzle]

Me leaving my 9-5 job which barely covers my bills just to see the hulk throw my car at a villain and miss

[l-swizzle]

*tasting wine*

Me:notes of updog

Winemaker:thats vanilla

Me:ok

[l-swizzle]

I hate furries but if i was a furry i would be the coolest one and my fursona would be awesome and my paws would be cute :3 fuck all that shit tho

[l-swizzle]

Tapping my AirPod to stop a song mid conversation

[l-swizzle]

The fact the we know chameleons exist means they’re stupid idiot failures

[l-swizzle]

Youtube got some new videos

[l-swizzle]

When you drink a lot of water and your tummy goes sploosh sploosh

[l-swizzle]

to whoever stole my Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word.

[l-swizzle]

Me asking the plug if the Xanax is glutten free

[l-swizzle]

New flirting method where you just have a crippling panic attack infront of them

[l-swizzle]

feds kicking down my door only to realize there was a bucket of water above it and now they’re all wet

[l-swizzle]

Me on jeopardy: i dont know

[l-swizzle]

Waiter: wine?

Date: i dont drink

Waiter: water

Me: she said she doesn’t drink pal

[l-swizzle]

Dudes be playing nba 2k23 but they be 23 with less than 2k i(N) their (BA)nk

[l-swizzle]

The music stopped in the club and every one heard me opening my velcro wallet

[l-swizzle]

*Getting backshots* hes right behind me ,isnt he?

[l-swizzle]

Dudes be wearing rick owens but be OWEN their landlord RICK unpaid rent money