SYNCRO

she/her wandering

[understands]

[labirinthofsuffering]

the human race is filled with hatred

[labirinthofsuffering]

why is living so hard for me?

[heavensickness]

That strange feeling of longing when you are at a train station, in a 24/7 open market, when you are buying a coke from a vending machine, watching the city lights glow from your window, when you're walking aimlessly on a busy street after 5 pm, that feeling as if something is missing in your life and it will never come back although it was never there in the first place; that inexplicable urban sadness.

[labirinthofsuffering]

"that inexplicable urban sadness"

[labirinthofsuffering]

Do you ever wonder how we are destroying this world? How much suffering we are causing? The deaths from stupid violence? The hunger that the poor feel? The sadness of those enslaved? The endless circle of selfishness?

Because I can't stop wondering about these. sometimes I stop and try to feel it all. To visualize the suffering of children from wars in far countries. I really can't endure this for much longer. The decay wears responsible for. I feel so little and useless. I wish I knew ways to end all of this.

[labirinthofsuffering]

I don't even know anymore. I wish people would just consider me for once. But I am not in the centre of their lives, am I. I am the centre of my own life and I am the one who will care. All the suffering I will have to take care of it and endure it.

I truly struggle with loneliness. I don't even know why. I am not that alone. I wish I could stop feeling things. For once at least. It's all too overwhelming. Even the smallest things.

[labirinthofsuffering]

I realized I come here when I am feeling too much. When I surrender to my thoughts. I always thought about having a diary, expressing myself on a piece of paper. I can never bring myself too. My thoughts are way too private to share. I would feel way to vulnerable otherwise.

Although I am here. A day of overwhelming events. Or maybe lack of stability within me. How can I cry for such things, have panic attacks for such things, change my mood completely for such things. I am just so, so tired of all of this. Can the normality of panic attacks cease?

[labirinthofsuffering]

a thought

yes, indeed reminiscing on instagram profiles.

so fucking useless.

i find myself overthinking on how others perceive me, how i perceive myself, if these two things correlate in some ways. if i like how i perceive myself, if i like how others perceive me. i guess i am not too sure.

i fucking hate uncertainties.

they all look so fucking perfect and grown. with their pretty pictures. with beautiful sceneries, countless of travels, and so so many followers.

it appears they all are fucking influencers.

with my modest lil insta account which i try to keep true to me i cant compete. not that this is a competition, but it does for sure feel like it.

so fucking annoying. i wish all was done with allready.

yeah sure i am looking forward to the future and the things i will learn, the people i will meet, the experiences i will have. but they are all passing. they will happen and be gone away before i even realize it. and people have much worst it then me, i wonder how they cope. they probably have a more friendly aptitude. or they feel exactly the same way. maybe i just want to belong for once. always in the middle, always average, but maybe thats exactly what i am and there is nothing wrong with it. somebody has to be.

che pizza

[labirinthofsuffering]

a series of weeks

so many things occurred.

the cancellation of exams

the cancellation of friendships - at least the realization of such

a new wave of imprisonment because of immoral idiots

a new bright? future

many new plans of study

all too rational.

i dont know what to think anymore. the impossible occurs in this latest year. I aint dead yet which is surprising given the fucking pandemic. and after such a year i find my self more lost than how it all started. i lost my friends. i was expecting a new future. new opportunities, growth. all that happened steadily, waiting to boom. but it never did. and now.

here i am. still stuck in this senseless solitude. i guess i made some friends, but they are so far. i know i could have seized more opportunities and friendships if this year wasn't as fucked up. i also lost friends, exactly how I had started almost two years ago.

so guess nothing really changed? apart from a global pandemic, black lived movement, women movement, trump went to fuck off and ignorance in the world is thriving.

despite all of this i gained some sense of peace with myself. i am not too sure. maybe I am finally mentally sane. not too sure. maybe have matured. expect that find myself reminiscing about stupid Instagram profiles.

[labirinthofsuffering]

I just wish I will be able to see her one day. Even from far. Just to see her jumping on the stage.

[labirinthofsuffering]

"In the darkness, two shadows, reaching through the hopeless heavy dusk. Their hands meet, and light spills in a flood, like a hundred golden urns outing out the sun."

[labirinthofsuffering]

yes, i have too watched the documentary. i spent a whole day thinking about her life and how it was ended. were some of the individuals shady? maybe after all it is a police investigation and the reputation of an hotel with history of death. so yes i believe her story, and her death. it is scary how many we are here, looking through her thoughts, and i cant help but think that she could be saved. but maybe one cannot do such thing, she did deserve the freedom to travel alone, no matter the ending.

i find greatly disrespectful all posts engaging in the supernatural theories on her death or blaming others.

may she rest in peace.

[desorden-en-letras]

He estado en muchos lugares caóticos, nuevos, diferentes, he conocido diversas personas, cuadradas, locas y cuerdas; y aunque soy consciente de que me falta conocer mucho más, de que solo estoy apenas iniciando a recorrer este largo camino llamado vida, no me detuve a pensarlo hasta ahora. Porque ahora he decidido que quiero conocer más lugares pero solo si es contigo, aunque sea solamente como amigos.

Bailar, reír, comer, follar, cantar, llorar, caminar a tu lado y ojalá algún día si soy afortunada tomados de la mano. No me opongo a descubrirte o a sentirte en alguna ocasión, a ser juntos uno solo, puede que hasta lo anhele ya con desesperación y que mi corazón me atormente por el hecho de no tenerte, más no me adelantaré a conquistarte sin antes estar enamorada aunque eso muy pronto lo habrás logrado.

*Flor_Celestixl

Heatdaya

[hauntedhen]

yes i know dean and castiel deserved a better ending but idc destiel is still the greatest love story ever told and nothing can change this

[pharlapcartoonist]

I am still sad and kinda angry about the ending of SPN. But I don't want to abandon the show because of the ending. The boys, the story, all that love and care everyone putted into it doesn't deserve to be thrown away just because of stupid ending. That show made so much for everyone who watched it even for a short time. They just don't deserve that...

I feel like I kinda owe them. For making me happy when I was depressed. For always being there for me when I needed it. For being my best friend and family when I needed some. For making me laugh and cry and all things in between. And I know I am not the only one feeling this way.

This show was here for 15 years and there is plenty episodes to watch. So rather than think about the ending as dying friend with whom we will never make new memories again, we should think about it as a little farewell before we meet again.

And before that time comes, we can rewatch the series! Because the show is still here, we are alive and we have plenty memories to make!

Make your family, best friend or your partner watch the show with you! Make yourself a happy little Supernatural movie night with popcorn and cozy blankets! There is still so much jokes you can laugh again and details you haven't notice before. Draw a bingo card and fill it watching the episode! Or just come back and watch your favorite episodes after hard day.

Because show ending isn't it's death. It's still here for us. For those who love it. For those who stopped watching and would like to watch it again. For all those who never saw it but would like to.

Don't bury the show, please. Make it live and pass it on. It can still bring so much happiness to your life and life of people around you.

[weltenwellen]

Anaïs Nin, Fire: From “A Journal of Love”: The Unexpurgated Diary of Anaïs Nin, 1934–1937

[annadownsouth]

Women belong in the home. Men belong in the home. We all belong at home. The idea that we must pursue meaning and significance in the modern rat race of career is making us sick and sad. We would all be happier and holier if we lived like a loving home was our greatest accomplishment.

Joy Clarkson

[labirinthofsuffering]

what is this modern expectation that we need spend the rest of our times in small offices, working unbearable jobs to comply with normality

this sense of normality changes every era anyways, why conform to it when it's simply a social creation to give some sense of meaning to our lives?

can't we choose our own way to live?

our own way to fulfill our desires?

not simply waiting for the end of the day to come, just to do it all again everyday for the rest of our lives?

why can't we be above all of this?