Until Then ♥

[labrinht]

i feel myself changing , i don’t even  laugh the same anymore, i don’t smile or talk the  same. i’m just so tired of everything.

[labrinht]

how many more days or nights to commit suicide?

[labrinht]

Just because someone finally decides to move on doesn’t mean they aren’t real. Maybe they finally opened their eyes to how they were being treated, maybe they finally understand you’re never going to be the person you promised you’d be, or maybe they know that they deserve better. There’s nothing wrong with moving on from being treated wrong, there’s nothing wrong with removing yourself from the pain, and there’s nothing wrong with being FED UP. After all, a person can only fight for so long

[labrinht]

I WAS...

I was consumed by nothing but negativity, and for a while I thought you were my only source of light. I was drowning and every single day I woke up and hoped your hand would pull me up to the surface and save me. I was wrong. That night was the night I realized your hand was never there to save me, but instead there to push me deeper below the surface. The only hand I needed was my own.

You were my darkness and it took me too long to realize this.

I know you’re a good person, but next time you ask yourself what it was you ever did to me I want you to think of the girl crying on her bedroom floor. I want you to think of the girl that couldn’t sleep because the nightmares were worse than reality, which had become her own personal hell. I want you to think of the girl who couldn’t eat because she had no appetite from the anxiety caused from thinking she did something wrong. I want you to think of the girl who hated herself so much she had to force herself to get up in the morning, only to crawl back into bed hours later. I want you to think of the girl who had countless silent breakdowns, I want you to think of all the things you never saw, all the things you never experienced, all the things that were kept hidden.

And now I want you to think of the person I have become, and I want you to know that I am thankful for you creating a monster. I’m no longer a monster, and I no longer have to force happiness. No more do I have to seek validation from others that I am worthy. I am thankful you were a part of my life, because you became the best, worst thing to happen to me.

[labrinht]

[labrinht]

i wish my life had background music so i could understand what the hell is going on.

[labrinht]

Tell me something nobody else knows about you. It doesn’t have to be major , just something..

[labrinht]

It’s never easy for a good woman to walk away; especially after she’s invested so much of herself into making it work. Just know, that by the time she finally decides to leave, she’s given you countless chances and debated the idea, over and over in her head, at least 1000 times. She’s exhausted; she’s frustrated and totally heartbroken to have to walk away from a man who, deep down inside, she still loves and is still willing to fight for.

[labrinht]

He seems to be doing fine without you, doesn’t he? Like all those memories, all that time spent together, was nothing. Do you see him continuing on with life as if nothing had ever happened? Or even worse, do you already see him flirting with other girls even though it’s only been a couple of days since you guys broke up? It’s okay, really.

You don’t have to pretend to be fine. You don’t have to go on dates with boys you couldn’t care less about, and post pics with them on Instagram just to show him that you’re doing fine, too. You don’t have to look flawless every day with perfect make up and hair, and go to parties and pretend you’re having the time of your life, when all you’d rather be doing is sit at home with a carton of ice cream and watch sad movies. It’s okay to cry; it’s okay to miss him, go over pictures of you two. It’s okay to not delete those messages on your phone, contrast to what all the break up advices say. A broken heart needs time to heal, after all.

And him? He will realise his mistake, I assure you baby. One day it will hit him that no, it’s not her that he’d rather wake up in bed with, but you. He’s going to realise that it’s not her fake blondes and highlights that he wants, but rather your soft brown hair that always reminded him of chocolates. Her strong perfume might have enchanted him momentarily, but he’s going to wake up one day and realise it’s the smell of your lavender shampoo he misses the most.

So he’s going to come crawling back to you; one day you might wake up to a 3AM drunken text message from him; the boy who you cried your heart out for several months ago. You used to stay up till small hours, hoping against hope that he’d be thinking about you too at this time and send a message. All those late nights going over cute pictures of you two together, of late night conversations you two had shared. All those tears shed longing for him. By the time he reaches out for you again, you would have left all of it behind.

So let yourself cry. Let yourself mourn and be heartbroken. Let your heart recover from the last time it was broken.

— (via

whatcameafter-you

)

[labrinht]

Broken but brave;Knocked down but  not out; Crying but still breathing; I’m still strong enough to survive this.

[labrinht]

 I can’t afford to crumble when I have been rebuilding for so long. And as much as I want to hear from you again one day, I can’t allow you to do that to me.

[labrinht]

How do you know you’re over it?”

“Maybe when my eyes won’t water when I talk about you too much, when my heart won’t beat fast every time I think it’s you in the distance, and when I tell the story of what used to be us, the sinking feeling in my chest won’t appear.

However, maybe that’s not always the case. Getting over it, I mean. Maybe there’s no such thing as moving on-just letting go. Letting go of false hopes, idle dreaming; maybe that’s all there is after

[labrinht]

I WAS...

I was consumed by nothing but negativity, and for a while I thought you were my only source of light. I was drowning and every single day I woke up and hoped your hand would pull me up to the surface and save me. I was wrong. That night was the night I realized your hand was never there to save me, but instead there to push me deeper below the surface. The only hand I needed was my own.

You were my darkness and it took me too long to realize this.

I know you’re a good person, but next time you ask yourself what it was you ever did to me I want you to think of the girl crying on her bedroom floor. I want you to think of the girl that couldn’t sleep because the nightmares were worse than reality, which had become her own personal hell. I want you to think of the girl who couldn’t eat because she had no appetite from the anxiety caused from thinking she did something wrong. I want you to think of the girl who hated herself so much she had to force herself to get up in the morning, only to crawl back into bed hours later. I want you to think of the girl who had countless silent breakdowns, I want you to think of all the things you never saw, all the things you never experienced, all the things that were kept hidden.

And now I want you to think of the person I have become, and I want you to know that I am thankful for you creating a monster. I’m no longer a monster, and I no longer have to force happiness. No more do I have to seek validation from others that I am worthy. I am thankful you were a part of my life, because you became the best, worst thing to happen to me.

[labrinht]

[geminizone]

[mingdliu-deactivated20210422]

“You listen to Adele, not to relax, but to cry about the fictional ex you never had, but always miss.

My Co-worker (via mingdliu)

[spiritualinspiration2]