ཧོ

[itoshiexx]

words i want to say

synopsis: four times itoshi sae wanted to tell you he loved you, and the one time he finally did.

pairing: itoshi sae x gn!reader | words: 1.6k | warnings: established relationship, fluff

notes: why hello! i'm back with this 4+1 prompt that i absolutely love, i wrote this in like an hour so this is definitely not proofread lol and istg i'm writing the kiss prompts so bear with me :((

masterlist

i. 

it was a game like any other. at a certain point in his life, sae didn’t really felt a huge thrill by entering a stadium, already knowing he would win easily and beautifully destroy his enemies. this time, however, there was electricity dancing through his veins and prickling under his skin — and it was all because of you, who was sitting in the stands, wearing his jersey, for the first time.

and sure, he could swear such a thing did not affect him at all; he was the itoshi sae, after all, and anyone would die to wear his original jersey at one of his games. 

but you weren’t just anyone. you were his partner of three months, and everything about your relationship was still fairly new, and for the first time in forever, sae really, really didn’t want to mess this up. 

you were beautiful, sitting prettily in the special section of the crowd, reserved for family, partners and very rich people. sae could distinguish your smile from miles away, because it shined like nothing he had ever seen. he felt his heart beating faster, and it was not from all the running around the field.

as expected, his team won, with sae scoring a gorgeous final goal that made everyone jump in the stands. though, he didn’t care about the pats in the back from his teammates, the thumbs up from his coach or the shrilling screams of the crowd — all he could focus was on you, hugging his neck and beaming like the sun. 

“you were amazing, sae!”

it was fucking early. he knew it. 

but as he hugged you back and buried his nose in your hair, the words i love you flew through his mind. 

ii.

“this is stupid.”

you giggled at his words. this sound always sounded more like a melody to sae, but he would rather die than admit that. instead, he just glared at you, sitting right beside him at a stupid photobooth. 

“c’mon, baby, it’s gonna be fun!” you said, completely unaware of how the word baby did bad things to his heart. he wasn’t brave enough to call you pet names yet, but you were always more outgoing than he was. 

“don’t wanna.”

“please?” you pouted, your eyes becoming googly like a puppy. he could only mouth a tsk, knowing he couldn’t say no to you even if he tried (he didn’t).

“fine. just do it already.”

you happily bent your body forward to click at the screen, starting the countdown for the pictures. then, returning to your place by his side, you lay your head on his shoulder and smiled for the first picture. sae did a simple peace sign, face still stoic as ever.

on the second pic, you waited until the last second to do fishy lips and cross your eyes, and that caused sae to snicker, which was fortunately caught by the camera. happy by that, you laced your arms around his neck, squishing your cheeks together in a cute pose for the third picture.

on the fourth and last one, you separated slightly, looking sae straight in the eyes with that sparkle that made his stomach churn. 

you smiled, and he kind of stood there, dumbfounded, barely listening to the click of the photobooth. an i love you was the only thing he could hear.

iii. 

seven months in and sae thought he had already seen all of you. despite his busy schedule, you saw each other quite frequently because of your flexible job, meaning you could travel along in his trips around the globe. he was used to your soothing presence and he loved every second of it.

but this — this was something that he wasn’t used to. 

he hated to attend gala parties just to appease sponsors and snobby people, but he had agreed for the first time because you said you wanted to see how it was, and that it would be good for his career. you were always so thoughtful, and that never failed to make his chest fuzzy. but he did not expect to almost have a cardiac arrest seeing you all dressed up. 

“do i look good?” you asked, bashful and uncertain. he wanted to scream. good wasn’t even close to what you were. you were perfect, divine, an angel on earth. 

you were everything he needed. 

“you look beautiful, baby,” he said, smiling ever so slightly in hopes of convincing you of the purest truth. his hands found home on your hips, and he gave you a little peck. 

“thank you.” you smiled. “you look very handsome, too.”

then, you proceeded to fix his tie like it was already muscle memory, despite it being the first time either of you did this. you smiled again, sweetly, once you finished.

“all done. you’re good to go, mr. itoshi.”

the domesticity hit him like a truck. a lump formed in his throat, and it tasted a lot like i love you.

iv.

the beach was his favorite place in the world. being around the calmness of the sea always brought him peace, much like when he was with you. so combining both of his favorites was a bonus sae couldn’t deny. 

the sand was warm and soft beneath his feet, and he sat on top of a towel, observing you standing nearer the ocean. the wind blew in your hair, and he could hear you laughing and squealing every time you tried to feed a seagull and they ran after you and your food.

“sae! help me, baby, they’re gonna kill me!”

“you can do it.”

“what if i can’t?!”

“i’ll cry at your funeral, don’t worry,” he answered simply, snorting when you gasped in pure offense. 

when you finally got tired of running around, you sat next to him, panting a little. though you didn’t stay put for long — you never could. you grabbed a stick and started to draw on the sand, doing little shapes and words. 

sae could only watch, mesmerized, as the orange hue casted a heavenly glow around your frame, almost like a halo. it complimented your skin perfectly, and he cursed himself for not having the guts to take a picture so that he could remember this moment forever. he wasn’t sappy, after all.

he casted his eyes down, only then realizing you drew the letters ILY inside a heart, looking at him with a fond gaze he didn’t deserve. 

i love you, too, was what he wanted to say. but itoshi sae was never good with words, so his hand reached for yours and he gave it a little squeeze, before bringing your knuckles to his lips in a tender kiss. with the way the corners of your eyes crinkled, he knew you understood. 

and he loved you even more for it.

v.

you worked a lot. despite your adjustable routine, you often had to bring your laptop everywhere, just in case your boss needed something more immediate. in sae's penthouse, it was no different, and that specific day happened to be one of those urgent matters. 

sae was grumpy. he wanted your attention for a while, but he would never stoop so low as to ask for cuddles, so he just sat by your side on the couch with his arms crossed. you’d say he was pouting, but that was absurd. itoshi sae didn’t pout. 

you were pretty, he thought, all focused and dedicated like that. you were like a painting that sae could spend a lifetime admiring, without ever getting tired. the slight furrow of your eyebrows, the curve of your nose, the crease of your mouth… oh, he got distracted. you were now facing him and saying something he didn’t catch. 

“what was that?”

“i said, let’s go.”

he grimaced, confusion etched in his face. “where are we going? i thought you had urgent work.”

“to bed, baby. it’s your nap time, isn’t it? i can finish this later. i know you sleep better with me in your arms.”

you grinned in a smug kind of way, but sae could barely register anything besides the three magical words that were hammering inside his heart, coming up to his tongue until all he could do was say…

“i love you.”

fuck, he thought. now the cat is out of the bag. he fucking loves you. 

your eyes widened slightly, as if you weren’t expecting such a declaration, but your expression softened and your hand came up to cup his jaw. your thumb did a small caress at his cheekbones, and sae felt goosebumps rising up his skin.

“i love you,” he said again, because now that the dam had broken, nothing could stop that phrase from flowing. “i love you so much.”

your smile could rival the sun and light up any darkness. he loved you like this. he loved you in all your ways.

“i love you, too,” you answered, all soft and giddy, and sae finally released the breath he didn't even realize he was holding. “so much.”

his hand came to meet with yours, and he interlaced your fingers, standing up and pulling you along. you stumbled a bit, but he steadied you by gripping your waist, as if scared you would let go. his lips met yours almost urgently, but they were still soft nonetheless — because with you, sae knew to be soft, to be gentle. it’s what you deserved, after all. 

when you parted, lips swollen and a little breathless, he showed you one of his rare smiles; the ones that always came easier when you were in the picture. you felt butterflies swirling in your stomach watching itoshi sae beam to you. because he loved you.

your fingers interlaced again, and he started to drag you towards the bedroom, ready for his 3pm nap.“you’re right, by the way,” he confessed, and you looked at him, puzzled. “i do sleep better with you in my arms.”

© 2023 itoshiexx. do not plagarise, translate, or repost any of my work on here or other sites.

[laiauuh]

This is sooo beautiful!!! Thank you so much to the wonderful @ekkurea for this wonderful art! My sleepiness literally went away when I saw the notif! Her art is so beautiful please check her page out!

[saerins]

𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖…

+ itoshi sae x f!reader | wc 2.5k | content: fluff, pining, mentions of fake dating, jealousy, reader is kind of an idiot, sae loves to tease, best friend otoya, cussing

notes: hello hello i’m on board the sae love train once more , are you guys still with me ^_^

summary: what do you do when your best friend kind of sort of forces you to confess your two-year long crush when you’re not ready to? pray and hope for the best.

“i could just tell him for you.”

“eita, fuck no,” you throw him a warning glare as you chop the vegetables up with scary precision despite not having an eye on them. only because you know if you don’t explicitly tell him not to, that he’d think it’s no big deal and do it anyway.

and let’s say, you’d rather die than let that happen.

sure, you and sae had been closer back in high school; he sat behind you and entertained the secret notes you passed to him, he used to ruffle the top of your head whenever you pouted, he used to buy food for you during breaks.

but that’s all in the past and somehow, the both of you had drifted since then.

otoya deadpans, an unamused pair of eyes looking back at you from their spot across the island. “it’s been what, four fucking years since you graduated? grow a pair,” he retorts, attempting to steal a carrot but getting a slap on the back of his hand instead.

“bold of you to say that to a girl with a knife,” you snap at him, pointing the blade at his face.

to which he merely rolls his eyes, using two fingers to push it aside. “not like you’re that good at using it.” but he sighs when you silently turn your attention back to chopping vegetables. “does that mean i have to put up with your miserable face even longer?”

you and otoya continue to bicker, and you’re beginning to wonder how you’ve tolerated being best friends with him for the past four years. he’s a real piece of work.

“fine, fine,” otoya grumbles after you’re done with lunch, bangs over his eyes. “i promise i won’t tell sae anything, okay?”

that’s after you threatened not to let him hijack your house anymore for food. for someone who’s earning big bucks being a famous soccer player, you can’t make sense of why he won’t just get food delivered. maybe he just likes to annoy you.

“good. or else i’ll kill you.”

your crush on itoshi sae has been somewhat dormant for the past few years. and by dormant you mean that you haven’t tried making any moves because you’re too scared.

itoshi sae. one of the most famous international breakout stars in soccer. one of the most talented playmakers the world has ever seen. that comes with its own sets of pros and cons.

pros? he definitely doesn’t seem like he has much trouble doing anything he wants. he gets paid for every game. he gets paid for gigs. he gets sponsorships all over the place. which basically means that financially, he doesn’t need to give a shit.

cons? the media can be brutal. sae does something that’s remotely questionable and they’re all over it. he doesn’t thank a waiter that one time? automatically labeled as a rude brat by the paparazzi. and not to mention—the amount of girls he’s forced to fake date just for the sake of publicity.

you’re mostly pressed on that last part though, because they’re all supermodels or olympic stars or rich socialites. and compared to them, well, you’re just someone who happens to be in the same friend group and hang out together every once in a while when he’s back in japan. sae doesn’t even hang out much with the group, to your dismay.

it’s a pain, or so he says.

you wonder how you drifted in the first place. maybe it’s just the fame. you wonder if he thinks of you too sometimes.

must be your wishful thinking.

kind of makes you wonder whether he does have a secret girlfriend that he’s keeping from everyone. you wouldn’t really put it past him. it’s not like he has any super deep emotional bonds with any of you (that you know of). eita says he’s definitely single, but you think he’s just saying that to appease you. he already has his hands full having to watch you mope whenever you see news of sae and another girl and yet another dating rumor.

just as well. you think sae could do better than you, spending your friday nights at home, washing dishes at the sink and looking out at the tokyo skyline instead of out partying and living life with countless friends.

you don’t think you’re too shabby though. you’re a fresh graduate with a job at one of the most prestigious companies in tokyo you can think of. it’s not bad. but you can’t help but feel it’s worlds away from the one sae lives in.

the doorbell rings, snapping you out of your thoughts, nearly dropping the white marble plate you’re washing. your eyes snap to the clock in the living room. it’s almost 9pm—right about the time when eita usually comes knocking and asking you for supper.

groaning, you wash whatever’s left of the dish soap away from your hands and sloppily dry them against the bottom of your shirt, grumbling out loud about how you really should stop coming here whenever the fuck you want, eita while you stomp over to the front door.

you open the door, messy hair and bare face and baggy clothes, fully expecting to smack some sense into otoya eita when you feel yourself freeze up at the pair of eyes looking back at you.

they’re teal and framed by pretty long lashes and definitely don’t belong to your best friend.

what the fuck is he doing here?

this is one of the rare times that you’d actually prefer to see eita at your front door instead.

sae raises a brow, giving you a once-over. of course, he’s never seen you in this state—hair disheveled, clothes wrinkled, not a trace of makeup on your face. you’d made sure that whenever there was a possibility that sae would see you that you dressed yourself up as nice as possible. if you’d known he was coming over, you’d have at least dressed decently. definitely not baggy shirt and pants that you can barely see.

“uh… w-what are you doing here?” stupid, but the best you can manage.

he has his hands in his gray sweat pockets, and fuck him for wearing a black compression top. you can just make out the outline of his abs under there, the muscles on his arms already much too obvious with those short sleeves.

“dunno, eita said there was an emergency and i needed to get here,” sae says, wholly unbothered, monotonous as usual. he lets himself in, toeing his shoes off at the entryway, positioning them neatly beside your everyday sneakers.

fucking eita.

judging by what you know, sae was probably on his way for an evening jog when otoya called him. he still has his wireless earbuds in. you wonder if anything’s even playing.

sae takes it off once he catches you staring.

he’s not carrying anything. it’s just him. you wonder if anyone managed to catch him coming over. is his most recent pr stunt already over? won’t do either of you any good if he’s labeled as a cheater.

“so? what is it?” sae asks you, again, while he walks himself inside, curious eyes looking around your apartment, and suddenly you’re hyper aware. you hope to god you didn’t leave any of your inner wear lying around at random places.

in a panic, you rush over to him, blocking his path inside, both hands on his chest as you attempt to push him back to the front door. unfortunately for you, sae’s much stronger than you are, his body not budging an inch.

“it’s nothing, he made a mistake,” you sigh, giving up when you figure that sae’s only going to move of his own accord. “he’s probably just playing a prank on you, that’s all.”

you’re hoping, praying, wishing that sae will just take your word for it and go. because that’s what he does; he doesn’t hover much, doesn’t care about anything much at all. you don’t even know the last time he’s asked about how any of your lives are doing.

the world must hate you though, because sae only offers a grunt in response before looking towards your kitchen (you’re internally sighing in relief, glad that you cleaned your kitchen up before this). “i’m thirsty, you have anything to drink?”

you blink at him, stumped that sae is wasting his precious time in your apartment, but who are you to say no to sae, of all people?

“yeah, sure, juice?”

sae shrugs, “whatever.”

you turn your back on him, slowly taking your carton of apple juice and finding the nicest glass that exists in your cupboard, cursing yourself internally for not preparing for unexpected guests enough. you do this slowly partly because you’re trying to calm your stupid heart down, still not fathoming why on earth sae’s wasting his time with you.

carefully, you rehearse yourself in your head, where you’re going to step, how you’re going to walk over to him—you really are just hopeless. count it your bad luck that the moment you turn around, you nearly drop the glass because you’re forgetting a really fundamental issue here: your merch.

“no no no, uh—” you leave the glass on the countertop, scurrying over to where sae’s staring and thumbing at something on your coffee table.

sae looks at your flustered reaction, giving you way to grab your things off the table and stuff them in the drawer where they’re out of sight. he blinks at you, a slight amusement bubbling inside him.

“wow, big fan, huh?”

you don’t know what’s worse: you being your most unpresentable self right now or that sae just caught you having some of his merch.

“so you have some of eita’s merch lying around too or is it just mine?”

you could die of embarrassment right now.

back still turned to sae, you desperately search your brain for answers. thinking on the spot doesn’t seem like your strong suit right now.

“it… was a gift.” believable, right?

sae hums, as though he’s contemplating. “why just mine then? why not oliver’s or my brother’s?”

fuck.

“i don’t know, maybe yours was the only one that wasn’t sold out.”

“ouch.”

you didn’t mean to indirectly insult him but what’s a drowning girl to do?

sae sighs when you keep quiet, still staying out where you are, trembling too much to move. “didn’t know you were in love with me.”

this time, you whip your head around to face him—that same stoic expression of his unchanging on his face. “am not!”

his brows shoot up. “but you bought some of my merch.”

“i told you, it was a gift.”

you need to get paid for still standing up on your own two feet right now. your head’s way too giddy from the interaction, considering.

“even that figurine over there?” sae’s finger points to a small toy just barely visible behind the nooks of the bookshelf. it’s a small figurine; something sold a few years back when sae was just first starting out. you’d bought it because, well, you’d thought chibi sae looked cuter than actual sae. (especially now when he’s just staring blankly at you.)

“that was…”

“a gift?”

you think he’s making fun of you now at this point.

“anyway, we’ve established that there’s no emergency here so why don’t you just go?” you’re pretty sure sae won’t ever talk to you again—not after coming across what he did tonight. he probably thinks you’re a freak, probably questions why he even considers you his friend (to which you’re now wondering if that’s even true at all).

you make a mental reminder to yourself to kill otoya eita tomorrow.

sae lets you push him towards the entryway, apple juice long forgotten on the countertop, collecting condensation with water pooling below the glass.

“you must like me a lot, huh?” he ponders out loud as you continue pushing him towards the door. you see a hint of cockiness in his stare now, the slightest tug of a smirk on the corner of his lips.

“i do n—”

“be careful what you say,” sae cuts you off, toeing his shoes back on, looking glamorous as ever and you nearly forget that he looks straight out of a magazine even in his sportswear. “‘cause i’ll believe you.”

part of you wants him to just go already so your knees can buckle under, but part of you wants to ask him what he means. what’s he insinuating? isn’t the answer clear enough.

but now it’s way past nine and he’s all ready to go yet he’s still standing at your doorway, waiting for your answer. you want to scream no, you want to keep your secret safe, you don’t want him to know about the crush you’d been harbouring. but he told you to be careful what you say because he’ll believe you.

“s-so what if i do?” you stutter, failing to look him in the eyes, your stare focused on the air in between you.

sae’s features soften ever so slightly, like he wasn’t expecting you to give in so quickly, but it isn’t one of disgust. it’s more like one of pleasant surprise.

after what seems like an eternity, sae finally opens his mouth.

“you must’ve gotten jealous a lot with all those girls i’d gone out with.”

your fist instinctively connect with his arm, his stoic finally giving way to a grimace, palm rubbing his triceps in pain. out of all the things to say, he chooses to say that? you think he deserves it.

“you know what, sae? you can go back to your fake girlfriends, i could care less,” you snap at him, pouting. you hate that despite how ignorant his words are that you can’t find it in yourself to hate him.

sae exhales sharply, chuckling softly when he sees your pout, and you feel as though it’s the first time you’ve seen him like this even though it’s not. his hand comes up to ruffle the top of your head gently, and you’re reminded of when he did this to you back in high school.

“can’t do that, can i?” he tells you, that soft disposition gone and the stoic mischief coming right back. “not when i’m in front of who could be my real girlfriend.”

your heart might’ve forgotten how to beat.

sae leaves you standing there, left to your own devices as he exits your apartment, fully aware of his effect on you.

not long after he leaves (while you’re still standing in the doorway), your phone buzzes in your pocket. you fish it out and see his name there for the first time in a long time.

you smile to yourself as you read his message. okay, so maybe you’ll spare eita’s life for now.

[laiauuh]

Huehueue Saeee

[saerins]

─── 𝐀𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

+ itoshi sae x f!reader | wc 4.7k | content: fluff (i promise), slight insecurities, comfort, 5 times he says yes and 1 time he says no

notes: ok ok so guys !! i know i’ve been posting angst recently so i offer you comfort sae !! <3 this man has my entire heart so i’m just gonna embrace it hehe may or may not have been thinking of ‘daylight’ when i wrote this .

summary: the way sae loves you is beautiful. it’s nothing like you envisioned and something you never knew you needed.

“be my girlfriend, then, idiot.”

he’s handsome, seventeen.

even more handsome when he’s on the field, being the beast you know he is. he dribbles past everyone like they’re robots, like they’re snails. he gets into the penalty area and scores, and everyone in the stand cheers.

if there’s one common knowledge in your high school, it’s that itoshi sae is one of the world’s best soccer players.

maybe it’s no wonder that you’re holding a bag full of gifts for sae for valentines, being assistant manager for your school’s soccer team. it’s astounding how heavy this bag is. but you’ll know that in the end, whatever’s inside will likely get distributed between the entire team anyway, given how sae never accepts a single one.

“is it that time of the year again?” sae sighs, squirting water from his bottle into his mouth, towel hanging around his neck as he walks out of the locker room shirtless, fresh after a shower and hair all damp, sticking to the sides of his face.

still handsome.

“would it kill you to accept at least one of them?”

you expect one of his usual retorts—maybe a yes or a one of them could be poisonous. but instead, he grabs the bag from you, still frowning. “fine then,” he says, opening the bag and peering inside before he turns his gaze back onto you, “which one’s from you?”

the one with the purple post-it attached to sae’s favourite candy bar.

“i didn’t give you any, itoshi,” you lie, keeping your calm and crossing your arms. but sae cocks a brow because he doesn’t believe you. “really!”

“yeah, you sure about that?” sae’s tone takes a surprisingly gentle turn, and you find it hard to get used to. especially when it’s coupled with an amused expression.

“really, i’d die before giving anything to a grump like you.”

sae nods his head like he doesn’t believe you and starts rifling through the contents. he takes something out—a candy bar with a purple post-it attached to it. you can’t escape from him even if you tried.

“you’re the most irritating smart handsome guy i know, i hope you make it to the big leagues, i’ll never get tired of watching you play,” sae reads out loud, monotonously because it’s his way of mocking you. his gaze shifts from the note up to you, and he has his answer by your unwillingness to meet his eyes. “slick.”

“oh, shut up,” you tell him before turning on your heels and walking off.

“you want me so bad.”

“you wish, itoshi sae.”

“hey, take the rest of these away from me,” sae calls after you, referring to the big bag of valentines’ gifts you’d just left him with.

you turn around, walking backwards. “i’m not your girlfriend, itoshi, not my job!”

sae smirks. “be my girlfriend then, idiot.”

taken off guard, you fail to watch where you’re walking and fall over a broom, knocking several of the janitor’s stuff over. sae runs over, straight-faced while he holds his hand out to you.

“damn klutz,” he remarks as he pulls you up on your feet.

you’re thankful sae’s not the kind to make jokes like how he swept you off your feet, but the close proximity is making you giddy, in a good way, and you’re not sure you want to pass up on that.

“so?”

“so what, itoshi? and let me go,” you say, trying to pull away from him. he doesn’t let go though.

“say yes, then i’ll let go,” he tells you, and you can feel his breath fanning your lips and you’re sure he’s having a field day watching you get flustered.

“sure you want me, itoshi sae?” because a part of you finds that hard to believe, with the way he rejects other girls left and right and barely feels any remorse.

but what you don’t know is how different you are to him. if he dare say, special. maybe it’s the way you’ve always seemed like the stubborn kind, the kind of girl that refuses to ask for help but secretly wants to be protected. the kind of girl who can always help herself, but kill him if he thinks you’re someone who wouldn’t mind having someone to lean on.

maybe at some point, he started to want to be that person for you. no matter how many times you scream his name for not complying to schedules, no matter how many times you flip your hair against his face. you have everyone on the soccer team on a leash, and most of all sae.

that’s the first time he tells you—yes, he wants you.

“not even if you bribe me.”

at nineteen, sae’s serious about you.

it’s no secret that he’s devoted—you can feel it. because sae isn’t the type to profess his love every day, no. he’s the kind that shows it through his actions, through the way he automatically carries your shopping for you, through the way he always takes your side in public, through the way he looks at you whenever you’re talking.

you have no doubt about it. it doesn’t even cross your mind that he might stray. yeah, you have your priorities, and he has his. you’ll go after them, and he’ll go after his—there’s no reason why you can’t chase your dreams in parallel.

your parents think otherwise, though.

like some rather typical parents do, they’re sceptical; sae can see it in their eyes. the way they furrow their brows whenever you invite him to chime in during dinner, the way they ask investigative questions—things about his past history that even you never asked him.

“mom!” you’re fed up with their interrogation tactics, shooting a warning glare at your parents.

your mom and dad look at each other in resignation before resuming to quietly eat their dinner. you’re reluctant to leave sae alone at the dinner table with your parents while you help to wash up, but sae tells you he’ll be fine. because he will.

they’re humans. they’re like you, just older and less prettier. why should sae be scared?

as expected, the moment you turn the tap on, your parents jump on him.

“you know, she really likes you,” your mom tells him. “i can’t say the same for you, though.”

sae’s never navigated around conversations with parents. he doesn’t know the first thing about this. he’s just keeping his fingers crossed he doesn’t fuck up.

“you look like someone who has a lot of girls, itoshi,” your father chimes in before sae can speak up. “you have a lot of girls on the side?”

he could not be more wrong.

“none, sir.”

why does this effort feel much more than necessary?

“why y/n?” your mother jumps in, and for the first time tonight, sae spots a genuine curiosity in her eyes.

not the best question to ask someone who doesn’t even remotely talk about their feelings. sae finds himself stumped, but your mother is, fortunately, a nice person deep down.

“just tell me this,” she leans forward, and your father seems to relax a little bit, sinking back against his chair. none of you realise the tap’s turned off. “do you love her?”

that’s… premature, if sae has any say in it. and he thinks it’s criminal that he’s telling your mother before he even tells you, but he knows that not admitting it would likely cause a rift between you and them—not something he wants.

making you miserable? no thank you.

so he nods, “yes, i do.”

“you realise that—”

“sir, let me put it this way: you can’t force me to stay away from her, not even if you bribe me.”

from the kitchen, you smile as you listen. looks like you had nothing to worry about after all.

“they’re nothing compared to you.”

you love seeing sae living his dreams; love having front-row seats to his matches, love catching the fleeting glimpses he gives after he wins.

he’s twenty-one and thriving in the soccer scene, more than ever. world-famous and revered. the two of you are stronger than ever, still, because despite how sae looks, he’s much softer than people think.

when he’s running late from practice, he texts you the moment he can, tells you what’s up. when he has to cancel on you, he makes sure he makes it up to you. if he has soccer obligations on special occasions, he’ll let you know.

it’s funny thinking back to the days when you used to squabble with each other, to the days when everyone was tired of hearing you and sae argue.

not that that should be a problem now anymore—why? simple, because non-disclosure agreements are ass. but a highly recommended thing by his publicist; to protect his image, and then he told you not to take it personally because he’s asking all of sae’s close contacts to sign it too.

which didn’t take long.

it was mostly rin and his parents, and some other guys he used to know back in high school.

oh, and there’s you. apparently, you can’t divulge anything about being in a relationship with itoshi sae. so, as far as the world is concerned, he’s a bachelor.

“it’ll sell better,” was all the explanation his publicist offered.

sae had been against it, because why should he hide you from the world? and it’s stupid. but his publicist is smart, pointing out that you might get harassed online if his loyal fans find out. (to which sae begrudgingly agreed to, for the interim.)

it was fine, up to a point, but you’d never really considered how you’d feel seeing all these headlines of sae possibly being romantically linked with all these socialites and up-and-coming movie stars.

a part of you, the prideful part, is too stuck-up to ask your boyfriend for assurance. mainly because you think it’s stupid. sae constantly texts you when he’s not with you (as much as his schedule allows), and whenever he’s done for the day he goes back home and calls you if he can.

the other part of you, the lovestruck one, is afraid that maybe you can’t measure up to everyone else. that just maybe, you’re worlds apart and you’re not good enough.

usually you’d wait for sae to tell you he’s home, you’d let him rest his mind on the way back, but this time you’re impulsive and you’re dialing his number before you know it.

“hey, what’s wrong?” he asks, picking up after just two rings. even he knows you don’t usually initiate the calls.

“um,” you stutter because you don’t actually know how to tell him you’re calling to ask for assurance. despite having been together for four years, you realise that neither of you have actually sat down and talked about feelings.

“babe, talk to me,” sae urges you, and you can hear him getting off the bus. he must have just reached his apartment complex. he must’ve been tired from an entire day of intensive bootcamp and here you are, calling him with your trivial matters.

“it’s nothing, sae, forget it.”

“wait, what—”

you hang up before he can say anything and quickly text him.

i’m feeling a little sick tonight, just going to rest early.

sae leaves you on read and you think you’ve fended him off.

you did not.

an hour later, he’s at your door, carrying all your favorite convenience store snacks and a worried expression.

“what is it?” he asks you. you’re a little too stunned to speak. sae lets himself in, placing the snacks on your dining table before he really looks at you, surveying your face. “what were you crying about?”

you suddenly feel stupid for thinking your puffy eyes wouldn’t give you away.

sae tips your chin up when you try to look down. “y/n, tell me,” and he sounds only concerned, and the guilt builds up inside you.

so you tell him—you tell him about your intrusive thoughts as he lets you lay against his chest on the couch. you tell him about your insecurities as he sits in silence and listens. you tell him that you think it’s stupid of you to think this and you’re beginning to think you’re an ass for keeping him up so late when he has training tomorrow morning.

but sae doesn’t feel that. not one bit.

“it’s not stupid,” he tells you, and if you’d been able to see his expression, you’d know that he can never look at anyone the same way he looks at you. “all those girls you’re worried about, they’re nothing compared to you.”

“really?” you sniffle, appreciating the fact that even though he’s horrible at talking emotions, he’s trying his best for you.

sae pulls some hair away from your face and you pull back to get a good look at him. “really, stupid.” you laugh and he laughs, and now you’re really feeling stupid because there’s no way sae would ever choose anyone else over you. would never dream of having any other option.

“promise?”

sae sighs, in that lovingly way he does. “yes, i promise,” and he means it—he’s never thought of being with anyone else. “i love you, don’t i?”

you nod, chuckling because yes, yes he does. and yes, you know that more than anyone. even if it has to be kept under wraps for now; there’s no cause for concern.

when you fall asleep on his chest and sae’s too cautious to wake you up, your mother wakes up to take some water and stumbles upon the sight. she greets sae with a nod and a smile, the softest one he’s seen so far.

“my daughter has good taste.”

“that’s a secret.”

sae’s only getting more and more famous as he gets older. a year later and he’s already garnering attention from everyone, with girls lining up to be a possible mrs itoshi.

you’re still unknown; hidden in the crevices, tucked between pieces of signed contracts. you’re dealing with it, it’s fine. it’s going great, only because you’ve learned to get used to it. it was either that or to call everything off, and you don’t want that.

it’s a friday night and sae’s away for another match, this time in london, and you’re watching post-game interviews on your screen while you finish your pack of chips.

they finally get to sae, throwing the normal obligatory questions like how he feels after winning the match, how he feels like being the man of the match. until they start asking personal questions like who he’d like to dedicate his win to.

he dodges the first few easily with vague answers. but then they get even more personal.

“so, itoshi, rumours have it that you’ve been in a long-term relationship now, is that true?”

you freeze up hearing the question, noticing how sae momentarily looks to the right before he rolls his eyes and turns back to the interviewer.

“maybe,” he answers, and you’re surprised. that’s the first time he’s probably not listened to his publicist.

“now who is this lucky lady?”

sae sighs, “that’s a secret.”

his interview ends there as he retreats back into the locker room, your phone vibrating almost immediately after.

one day i’m gonna show you off to everyone.

you smile as you type your response.

sure you want the whole world to know you belong to me?

you expect a retort about how it’s the other way around, but he does one better.

fuck yes.

“you make me lose my goddamn mind.”

you’re both comfortable, twenty-three and lounging in sae’s apartment, curled up in the couch, fingers intertwined and spending a lazy sunday in.

it’s right smack in the middle of his break and you’ve got him to yourself for four entire months. it’s been good, so good.

everyday you’re reminded of why you love him, of why he’s yours. the way he pulls you back against him in the mornings when you wake up. the way he says your name when he’s sleepy, the raspiness in his voice known only to you.

“hey, i’m heading out for a while,” he tells you, slipping on his slides and unlocking the door.

that’s how it usually goes; you’re still not allowed to admit to your relationship, even if sae has hinted at being in a committed relationship. what his publicist considers as minimising risks is that both of you shouldn’t be seen out in public together. that’s why you’re having fun nights out at odd hours and being romantic in private.

sae often just leaves in the middle of the day, some alone time and maybe get some groceries since you can’t let yourself be seen leaving his apartment. it’s not an ideal situation, but you’ll take it. the last thing you want to do is make his life harder.

while he’s gone, you do the chores—make the bed, defrost some chicken breasts, vacuum, maybe wash the laundry. he’s doing his best to learn the right way to do chores (because one time when you asked him to help vacuum he ended up vacuuming the bathroom too), but you find it’s easier if you just do them instead.

usually he comes back by now, takes about a half an hour because his apartment is nestled in the centre of town, surrounded by all the stores and amenities he could need. but you stare at the clock.

it’s been an hour and a half, what’s he up to?

sae doesn’t even respond when you text him. right as you’re about to call him, worried, you hear his keys jangling and the door opening.

you expected to find him carrying a huge bag of groceries with the amount of time he was gone, but he’s empty-handed and you’re starting to think maybe he was hounded by paparazzi.

“did you have trouble with some press?” you ask innocently, mop in your hand.

sae sighs, “fuck no, thank god.” he toes off his slides and tosses his keys on the dining table, taking his cap off and tousling his hair. his pretty pretty reddish brown locks.

“oh, then where’d you go?”

sae smirks at you this time, hiding something behind his back.

“what’re you up to, itoshi?”

he rolls his eyes because you only call him that when you’re afraid. “relax, baby,” he coos, inching closer to you and revealing what he’s holding.

sae’s holding up your keychain; a mini figurine of sae you got from one of the gift shops during his match. but you spot something that wasn’t there before—a key, painted black like the door to his apartment.

“sae?”

“this key’s yours.”

you blink at him, a little stupefied. “sae, did you get lost while trying to find the key copy place?”

sae clicks his tongue, annoyed. “shut up, do you want this or not?” by the way he’s all red, he did get lost.

you take the key from him, suppressing a grin. “aw thanks, now i can let myself in.”

sae sighs again, “i’m asking you to move in, stupid.”

“y-you want me to move in here?”

“yes.”

“like, you want to see my face everytime you wake up and before you go to bed?”

“yeah.”

“you want me to live here with you, together?”

“yes and if you ask anymore i’ll take it back.” because sae’s aware that you’re asking out of disbelief—he loves his alone time yet here he is, asking you to be with him whenever he’s back home. which isn’t that hard to believe for him; you’re the only one he’d ever want to be alone together with.

you giggle, “okay okay, roomie.”

sae only sighs. “you make me lose my goddamn mind.”

“i don’t want this anymore.”

it’s your fault, it’s all your fault.

sae’s publicist is at the house, screaming at the top of his lungs, and by sae’s unamused expression, he’s not having it. he’s just controlling himself so he doesn’t end up getting a lawsuit filed against him for employee abuse.

“who thinks it’s safe to go out wearing their boyfriend’s jersey, which isn’t even for sale yet by the way,” he rants, staring straight at you, “and go down and buy a birthday cake on his birthday and take it up to his apartment, all while knowing that the press is gonna be camping outside the complex?”

he makes you feel stupid.

sae steps in front of you, his broad shoulders the only thing making you feel safe from his publicist’s constant attack. “you yell at my girl one more time and you’re done,” sae threatens, managing to get his publicist to storm out of the house.

apparently, sae had a big endorsement deal all planned with the one stipulation being that he had to appear a bachelor up until the stunt was over. and now his publicist’s mad because that’s all down the drain and his commissions are gone.

“hey, you okay?” sae asks you, gently, and you can’t bring yourself to look at him.

you’re fine, you’ll get over it. it’s just what his publicist said that gets in your head.

it’s like you’re trying to ruin his deals.

being with a famous pro player comes with some form of caution, you know that right?

she’s just in the fucking way!

weeks pass and it’s not easier to drown out the voices. sae’s good at it, so he’s already moved past it, resumes work as per usual, assumes you’re okay too because of the multitude of times you insisted that you are.

but really? it’s fucking difficult.

if you thought you were insecure before everyone knew about you, it’s ten times worse now. while the majority of people are nice about it, saying wonderful stuff like how the two of you are so sweet and look so good together, there’s still so many people who shit on you.

wait, i thought he was with that model from that one shoot? damn, he got the short end of the stick with his gf lol

lmaooo what a downgrade from that other soccer star he was dating

@itosae you okay, dude? you blind or something?

there’s a lot more than that. a lot. some of them even found your account, messaged you directly and said some less-than-nice things.

you keep it all from sae, though. the last thing you need to do is distract him any further, especially when he has the champions’ league coming up.

“i’m fine, mom,” you say one night when your mother calls to check up on you. “i promise.”

you’re a bad daughter, keeping these from your mother who’s just concerned. she isn’t convinced, but she hangs up anyway afterwards, telling you to rest.

it’s easy for things to spiral when you keep them all to yourself. the voices in your head that belongs to sae’s disgruntled fans growing louder, drowning out the words of affection sae tells you everyday.

until one day you think you can’t take it anymore.

they’re all telling you that you’re not good enough, that you’re just a burden. his publicist is nowhere near your side, instead silently siding with the fans who berate you. sae’s oblivious to it all, you think, because he doesn’t do anything about it.

one day you’re just sitting side by side, watching a movie, sae’s arm around your shoulders, his fingers idly twirling your hair.

“sae, we need to talk.”

like the lover he is, he pauses the movie, adjusting himself to look at you. “yeah, what is it?” he’s smiling at you because he has no idea what’s coming.

and you know, you know if you tell him what you really think that it won’t work, so you put on your best game face. truth be told, you’d been building up to this moment anyway, purposely telling him you’d be busy whenever he’s back from his games just so you won’t spend time together. it was all to give him the illusion that you just weren’t interested anymore, no matter how fucked up that sounds.

“i don’t want this anymore.”

sae furrows his brows. “what? what’s this?”

you sigh, feigning frustration. “this, sae. us. i don’t want this anymore.”

“why not?”

“because i’m tired. i’m tired of dating someone who’s half here and half not, i’m tired of tolerating your stupid habits, i’m tired of being with you, sae.” you’re raising your voice, but sae doesn’t flinch. his expression doesn’t even change. you’re beginning to think you broke him, made him malfunction.

when sae doesn’t say anything, you continue.

“i want to break up.”

sae looks away from you, at the patch of rug on the floor beside him, jaw clenched. he blinks a few times before he looks back at you.

“no.”

now it’s your turn to be confused. “w-what?”

sae tilts his head to the side, concern etched in his expression. “i said no, y/n,” he repeats, sighing. he puts his forefinger under your chin, his thumb caressing the side of your face. “who are you trying to fool?”

“i-i mean what i said, sae.”

you’re in disbelief. you hate how he knows you better than anyone else, maybe better than yourself, and you’re beginning to realise no one can come close to sae for you.

“so you don’t love me anymore? don’t wanna be my girl anymore?” he asks, but it’s redundant because he knows the answers. “i love you, okay? and i’d be a shit boyfriend if i let you go like this.”

you’re speechless, so you don’t say a thing, just sit awkwardly in front of him while for the first time in his life, he resolves to being there for you.

“look, i don’t know what mean things people are saying online, but fuck them,” he tells you.

“sae, it’s not easy,” you sniffle.

“then talk to me, and stop shutting me out, you idiot,” he chastises, and you find yourself falling onto him. “i fired my publicist too, by the way. couldn’t stand him spouting shit about you even after i told him to shut the fuck up.”

you laugh at his exasperation, your chest somehow feeling lighter.

“and, do me a favor? ignore the mean comments, yeah?” sae tells you, softer this time. “i kinda don’t ever wanna lose you, so.” he has his head resting on top of yours, your fingers intertwined and your heart soaring.

until now, you’d thought it’d be easy to drive sae away. you thought if you’d been enough of a nuisance, an eyesore, that he’d just take your word for it and run, that he’d throw a fit and let you leave.

but he doesn’t.

sae stays. and he tells you to stay. because he doesn’t know much about laundry, or how to handle feelings, but what he knows is how to love you. he knows what you need and he knows what you’re thinking, even if he doesn’t necessarily tell you about it.

and sae is a bitch to the world. he’s not the friendliest to fans nor does he care about making friends or enemies.

but to you, he’s everything. he says no to either of you straying and he says yes to whatever you ask except when it doesn’t make sense and you never knew that this was the beauty of being with someone who wants you—in every sense of the word.

there’s a certain threshold to pass before you can see everything clearly. suddenly it’s like the mean voices are faded into the background, and suddenly sae’s love is all you hear, and nothing is blurred because now all you can think about is how even if the world fails you, sae never will.

“hey, sae?”

“mhm?”

“thank you.”

he smiles against your head and you can feel it. “i love you, stupid.”

and you love him; recognising your handwriting and sweeping you off your feet. you love him; braving your parents, living his dreams. you love him; protecting you and showing up at your door. you love him; bashful yearning and unwavering emotions.

so you kiss him in response, and that’s all he needs to know that you’re with him for life.

[sylusz]

𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐄𝐏𝐘 𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐁𝐈𝐒 | blue lock.

sleepy blue lock bois ! these are transparent, so feel free to use it as your pfp :D

[daikiiss-deactivated20230820]

Something is off–you’d be a fool not to notice. From constantly putting his phone face-down on the table, to leaving the room every time it rings, you can sense that Sae is keeping you in the dark. You’ve done your best to ignore the incessant vibration coming from his phone, and you haven’t missed the way he repeatedly glances at it. Wordlessly, you get off of him, no longer in the mood for intimacy. “You should probably get that,” you state, pulling a t-shirt over your head. 

Sighing, he takes the device with him after making himself decent. You pick up on how Sae walks away without answering, waiting to hit ‘accept’ until he’s out of the bedroom. Even in a moment where his attention should be fully on you, your boyfriend seemed to be somewhere distant, as if his mind couldn’t focus on what’s in front of him. Sitting alone in your shared bed, you rub circles into your temples, attempting to alleviate your impending headache. There was a time where you never doubted Sae and you felt absolute confidence in your relationship. Lately, his avoidance has brought nothing but insecurity, which he was never great at addressing on his own. 

Initially, you were going to wait for him to bring up whatever was going on. Although, the more he left you alone to speak with some unknown individual on the other end, not to mention the days he came home late from practice, you could not help but feel anxious. Usually, he had no issue with picking up the phone in front of you, he’s even had full-on conversations in your presence. Not once did you think he would keep things from you, not when he’d been so transparent about his career, and life in general. 

In the beginning, you had no issue with ignoring the doubts of your family and close friends. They were quick to point out the fact that he’s a soccer player, and they all have that reputation when it comes to women. To you, they were just assuming things about the midfielder, because they couldn’t see him as anything other than a two-timing sleaze. To them, he was no better than any other ego-ridden athlete, unable to differentiate him from the others they see on TV. No one besides you knew how Sae really was behind closed doors–how incredibly considerate and warm he can be to the one he loves. Perhaps you were naïve for believing that Sae is a faithful man, that he isn’t like the stereotypical players your loved ones mentioned. You’re fully aware that this is his first real relationship, and that he has a past of nothing but shallow hook ups. All this time, maybe you had created an unrealistic image of him, built him up to be someone he’s not, completely disillusioning yourself from reality. Reflecting on every time he was late from practice, every minute he spent away when he should’ve been with you, it clicks that he could’ve been with someone else. You've been far too ignorant, too blinded by love to assess the situation properly. The mere thought of it is enough to make your insides rot. Until this point, you’ve given Sae all of you, handed him every sacred piece of you. Only he holds this power over you–you’ve handed him your heart, and he’s capable of filling it with pure love and joy. After every suspicion you’ve gathered, that power feels more destructive than anything else. With the confirmation you seek, Sae can shatter you, if he so chooses. 

Today, you think you may have hit your breaking point. Today, you have no other choice but to cross a boundary–one you never thought you would resort to. Neither of you ever felt the need to invade the other’s privacy, and you almost want to stop yourself from eavesdropping on his conversation. But, needing space was one thing. Avoiding you and keeping secrets was another.  Lifting the covers with clammy palms, you get out of bed, trekking toward the door that Sae conveniently left ajar. If you’re careful enough, he won’t hear you leave the room. 

Your intense heartbeat is practically deafening, as you take a deep breath to calm your nerves. The unease in your stomach weighs you down with every step you take toward Sae, bracing yourself for what you’re about to hear. His low voice is muffled, but you can make out the words. “I know she’s onto me. I’ll let you know…” Involuntarily, you shudder at what you’ve just heard; the worst-case scenario playing out in real time. Turning around, Sae’s gaze meets you, eyes slightly widened and a hint of guilt painted on his face. For the first time, Sae’s using his power to break you down, fueling the incessant storm of agony within you.

-

Since the age of 13, Sae’s dedicated his life to perfecting his craft in Spain. He’s spent the last ten years abiding by others’ rules, living in a country he didn’t care for, and he’s grown tired of it. Tired of the monotony, the useless bullshit he had to endure on a daily basis. After all this time, he’s exhausted everything he possibly could out of playing for Madrid. Who could blame him for growing bored of this place?

It’s been ingrained in him to treat every decision like a business decision. Always aim for more money, longer contracts, better playing conditions. Most of all, he learned never to let outside factors impact his choices. Never let someone or something tie him down to one place, else his growth will cease. 

Having been the one to teach Sae these things, his agent was baffled when he delayed meetings, cutting any call short that had to do with the next steps in his career. Sae used to be malleable, all that had to be done was dangle more money in front of him and he’ll give his signature away without a second thought. Perplexing was an understatement when Sae hesitated to sign a massive deal with Man City. 

Sae never imagined he’d stall his departure from Madrid. It’s true that he’s grown sick of this place, ready to move on to a new scene with better opportunities. The one thing he’d failed to calculate was that someone would make him second guess his resolve. 

Hurting people came easy to Sae, unintentionally, of course. Venom-laced words effortlessly fell from his tongue, piercing others without a hint of remorse afterward. Meeting you caused a shift in his demeanor–suddenly he couldn’t pull the trigger to hurt others that easily. 

He’s well aware of how attached you are to your hometown, and he hasn’t forgotten how you said nothing would ever make you leave. Sae couldn’t fault you for that, really. You were one of those people who attached sentimental value to your surroundings, a trait he couldn’t relate to. So if all signs point to leaving, why can’t he sign the goddamn papers?

His agent’s words echo in his head, reminding him that he can’t put this off much longer, and he has to choose soon. Sae has caused a real handful for the poor guy, demanding minute changes to the contracts he’d been offered, all because he couldn’t face you. In truth, he didn’t know how to bring this up. He didn’t know if he could handle the disappointment on your face when you inevitably discover his plans. He didn’t know if he could selfishly ask you to come with him, or break your heart by leaving. 

-

Even during an intimate moment like this, Sae is invaded with thoughts of what to do, especially when his fucking phone won’t stop going off. He’s taken aback by you pushing away from him, and he’d be lying if he said the action didn’t pull at his heartstrings. “You should probably get that,” you bluntly state, and Sae hears your message loud and clear. Leaving the room, he answers his agent’s call, hoping to make this quick. 

They discuss the contract offer from Man City, and Sae is surprised to learn that they’ve agreed to all his terms. His agent sounds mildly annoyed, as he informs Sae that he’d better not add any more ridiculous demands, or else he’ll be at risk of losing the best proposal he’s ever gotten. With that, he hangs up, shell-shocked as turns to see you, reading the hurt expression on your face. 

“What the hell, Sae?” your voice cracks, and his chest aches with remorse. “How much did you hear?” he questions, hoping that he can easily explain this. 

“Enough to know why you’ve been avoiding me. If you don’t want to be with me anymore, you should just leave,” fuck, you’re really taking this to heart, he thinks. This is why he couldn’t bring himself to tell you sooner.

Approaching you, Sae reaches out, and to his surprise you back away from his touch. “Baby, I was gonna tell you about it, but I know how much you–” cutting him off, you swat his hand away. “Just get out, Sae. I never should’ve trusted you,” you bite back. 

Sae’s words are caught in his throat, and he grabs your wrist as he takes a moment to recollect himself. With a deep breath, he continues, “I kept this from you, and I’m sorry. Just hear me out,” he persuades. 

Scoffing, you try to release yourself from his grip, but he’s not letting go. Unable to meet his eyes, you try your best to speak without letting the dam of tears burst. “You’re fucking cheating on me, how do you explain that?”

He almost laughs at your accusation, until he realizes how this must have looked from your perspective. He loosens his hold on your wrist, opting to reach for your hand instead. Sae’s fingers interlace yours, but you don’t reciprocate his action. 

“I would never do that to you,” he assures, nothing but sincerity in his tone. You grit your teeth, ready to retaliate, to let him know that you’re not the idiot he thinks you are. 

Before you can, he continues, “I know I’ve been secretive. But I’m not seeing anyone else. I’ve been on the phone with my agent a lot and meeting with him because I got offers from other clubs.”

Finally, the truth is unveiled, yet Sae knows you’re still going to be upset. His misdeed isn’t what you assumed it to be, though in a way, it might be worse. You glance up at him, shock washing over your features. 

“You’re leaving Madrid?” you manage to squeak out, and Sae feels his heart wrench. 

“I - my agent says this is the best offer I’ll get. I haven’t signed it yet, because I didn’t know how to tell you,” he explains, and now you’re crying for real. Wiping your tears away with his thumb, Sae tilts your head up to make you look at him. 

“I know you don’t want to leave. I’d never ask you to do that,” he says, pulling you into an embrace. 

A thousand emotions hit you all at once. Yes, you’re relieved that he isn’t doing what you thought he was. At the same time, your relationship still looks like it is coming to an end. Sobbing into his chest, you try to choke out a response. 

“I don’t want to break up,” and at that, Sae confirms he doesn’t want to, either. He thought that maybe he could do it, if it meant it was best for his career. Seeing you here, crying for him, silently hurting for the past few weeks and thinking he was being unfaithful to you, he curses himself for being unfair to you, and making you worry over his own indecisiveness. There has to be a way to make this work, he thinks. All he knows is that he wants to make you happy, and at this point, he’ll do whatever it takes. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he uncharacteristically speaks before he thinks. 

“I have two offers. One from Man City and one from Barcelona. You pick who I sign with, and I’ll do it, if it means you’ll come with me.”

You look at him in disbelief, and frankly, Sae can’t believe what he just said as well. Never in his life did he think he’d base his decision on a significant other, let alone allow her to choose for him. He must really be whipped, he realizes.

“Barcelona isn’t that far from Madrid…but who offered more money?” even in your teary state, you still manage to make him laugh. “Doesn’t matter,” he bluntly replies. (Man City offered more, but he’ll never let you know that).

Standing on your tiptoes, you peck his cheek as you wrap your arms around his neck. You almost can’t believe he’s letting you do this, a massive sense of relief washing over you. “I know I said I’d never leave Madrid, but for you, I’ll compromise. I want to stay together, so let’s go to Barca,” you beamed, feeling both nervousness and excitement at your change of heart. 

He knows this is the wrong decision; Barca offered less money and by accepting, he would still be stuck in Spain. For once in his life, he thinks it’s okay to make the “wrong” decision. For once, he’ll allow himself to be selfish, to choose what he wants, not what his agent or the media believe is right. He’s going to keep you happy by his side, regardless of how much money he’s giving up in the process. 

Sae smiles at you; it’s the faintest of smiles, one only you can recognize. This time, he leans down to you, kissing you with every ounce of love and affection he has to offer. “I’ll call my agent. Let’s finish what we started earlier first, yeah?”

a/n: I decided I'll write for Sae until he's out of my head. which will probably be never 🤷🏻‍♀️

[saeist]

there was one thing ticked off your bucket list this year and that was going out the country with your long time boyfriend, itoshi sae.

sae was able to bring you along to spain for this season's soccer tournament. he even went as far as getting you a schengen tourist visa just so you can stay with him until the tournament finishes

and with that, today was your official first day in spain.

luckily for the both of you, sae had an extra day to spare before training. so being the boyfriend he is, sae took the responsibility of being your tour guide and show you around the city he lives in, madrid.

sae took you to all his favorite spots to spend his leisure time if he had some and even took you out on a lunch date at his favorite 5* michelin restaurant.

after exploring the city, you two find yourselves in the busy streets of puerto del sol. there were so many stores and vendors out and about. there was something so endearing hearing sae talk to the locals as you two do your little touristy things such as getting a romantic portrait drawn by some artist on the street.

on the way to the local park, sae spots a florist and buys a bouquet of flowers for you just because.

"¿cuánto por estos?" (how much for these?) you hear sae ask, while pointing at the selection of premade bouquets up on display. you tug on his arm, protesting about how he already spent so much today. sae simply shushes you and continues to converse with the vendor.

"para tu amante?" (for your lover?)

"sí, tomaré esto para mi amante" (yes, for my lover) sae says, wrapping an arm around you. almost like he was showing you off to the old lady selling flowers. she smiles widely and says something in spanish that you obviously didn’t understand.

"ya que ustedes son tan lindos, ¡les daré esto por la mitad del precio!" (since you guys are so cute, I'll give you this for half the price!)

you look up at sae to see him blush a little.

"¡oh! realmente no tienes que hacerlo..." (oh! you really don't have to...) sae says sheepishly, rubbing the back of neck.

the old lady simply laughs and hands you the bouquet of flowers sae picked.

"you are very lucky" she dotes, giving your hand a squeeze. you look at sae to see him smiling down at you.

"muchas gracias" you chirp, looking between the vendor and sae. the vendor laughs and waves goodbye as you two walk away.

"que el verdadero amor que comparten hoy se fortalezca a medida que envejecen juntos!" (may the true love you share today grow stronger as you grow older together!) you hear the old yell out from the distance.

the day finally ends when you and sae walk back to his apartment complex.

"so did you have fun today?" sae asks, giving you glance as you two walk hand in hand in the busy streets of madrid.

"is that really a question?" you raise a brow at him, nudging his shoulders. sae laughs, his insides feeling like mush that he finally has you with him. he was no longer alone in spain. no more long distance. no more late night calls, no more timezones. no more.

sae suddenly crouches down in front of you. you take a look around your surroundings to see some bystanders watching the scene unfold before their eyes.

"what are you doing?"

"just get on"

"is this the sae itoshi being romantic?" you tease, cheekily wrapping your hands around his neck as he hoists your legs up. sae smirks at your reaction.

"only for you, mi amor"

[laiauuh]

So cuteeeee

[meownotgood]

aki teaches you how to ice skate when you accompany him on a visit to his hometown.

you told him you hadn't done this in forever, you were adamant about having no idea what you're doing, but aki reassured you. he learned when he was young, and it's not as hard as it seems. it's just a matter of keeping your balance.

aki breathes, "hold onto me."

you grip onto his forearms to keep yourself from stumbling. cold air wisps out from your mouth when you exhale a sigh of relief. your skates feel slippery on the ice, it's difficult to keep your footing. but with aki there to steady you, his hands holding your arms, you feel just a bit safer.

"there you go. you're doing good. just focus on keeping your balance. I've got you." aki's voice is smooth, comforting. the faintest shape of a smile is forming on his face — you can hear it on his lips. pure white snowflakes dust over his dark hair, they settle onto his shoulders and cling to his puffy winter jacket. he grips your wrists, his mittens feel warm on your palms.

when you glance up, aki is smiling wide; his cheeks are rosy, he's smiling in the way that makes the corners of his eyes crinkle and his lips upturn, the smile he's always so insecure about but you love more than anything. his eyes glow when yours meet his own. his gaze is filled with a warmth you can feel under your skin. all of the sudden, it's like he's a kid again, teaching his brother how to skate and not having to worry about anything but making sure he comes home before it gets dark.

"you're doing it," he says, quietly. he sounds giddy.

oh, you are. you were so focused on him that you didn't notice you're perfectly, steadily balanced, and aki isn't holding onto you anymore. he's let go of you, but his arms are still outstretched, ready to catch you just in case.

"look. you're a natural." aki gives you a few more moments to stabilize by yourself before he reaches out for you. he grasps your hand, he tells you to trust him and he twirls you in a circle. he cups your cheeks in his palms. he really, really wants to kiss you.

aki puts your chin between his index and his thumb, he tilts his head to the right when yours tilts to the left. his chapped lips on your soft ones: they're about to connect, your heart is a second away from getting stuck in your throat but his body leaning closer to yours makes you slip. aki reaches out to catch you, his hands fist your jacket, but it just ends up dragging him down to fall right on top of you.

you expect him to apologize. but instead, he's giggling, aki's laughing in pure joy and hugging you closer and the sound is so similar to heaven you almost think you might have fallen beneath the ice and traveled there.

[itoshi-s]

anon requested: rin + "why do you keep marking me up? it's hard to mask and people are staring..." // no lukewarm love v-day event !

wk: 1.5k. cw: mildly suggestive, fem coded reader, mention of bruises/hickeys, fluff. rin wears a panda headband i want to eat him whole

standing in front of your full-width bathroom mirror at 6:43 am, eyes still bleary with sleep and hair sticking out in odd directions, you think you just might actually hate your boyfriend.

you know he doesn't exactly mean to do it - but all sense of rationality is long forgotten when the bright violet, reddish bruises are the first thing you notice in your reflection.

with a sigh, you put your fluffy headband on, keeping every hair out of your face, then start applying makeup. you'll have to be quick with it this time, too - you have hit snooze once or twice, and you certainly don't want to be late, yet still have something else than your face to spend time on camouflaging.

the soft playlist you've put on helps calm some of the annoyance that bubbles in your chest as you hum along under your breath, curling your lashes and applying a final coat of mascara. you put on your lip gloss, smacking your lips as you stare at your reflection, and as the initial bleariness of waking up dies down, you actually feel more amused than irritated upon the sight of hickeys littered down your neck.

rin's a possessive lover. he wants - needs - to feel every inch of your skin under his large, roaming hands. he grabs and kneads the flesh, holds it in a tight grip when he manhandles you however he seems fit. when in the moment, rin doesn't pay any mind whether it leaves marks - in fact, there are times when he wants it more than anything, like when you get home from a party looking just a tad too pretty and the green eyed monster creeps up on him. just want to mark up what's mine, the teal-eyed would mumble, laying on his tummy as he glares at you childishly.

you adore his passionate nature - feel on top of the world and like the most beautiful thing to exist when he gives you that look, overcome with love and desire.

but, for the love of god, you appreciate your sleep and sanity just as much, you think as you dab on the third layer of thick concealer, stacked on top of color corrector that really fucking struggles to balance out the purple hues.

you check the time, realizing you've got to leave the house in half an hour now, and that rin's alarm should go off in a minute or two.

as if on cue, there's a pair of footsteps approaching the bathroom door, then they're pushed open to reveal your boyfriend in all his sleepy glory.

shirtless and rubbing at his eyes, rin yawns as he makes his way over to your side of the bathroom counter. he circles an arm around your waist, broad chest feeling warm against your fluffy robe, and he sighs as his head drops to your shoulder.

"hi," rin mumbles, voice hoarse and gravelly with sleep as his lips move against the bare skin on your neck. he kisses a birthmark there and gives your waist a squeeze, turquoise gaze meeting your reflection in the mirror with an appreciative hum. "y'look nice, baby." a pause, "no eyeliner today?"

you just give a gentle shake of your head, eyebrows twitching to furrow and lips almost curling into a smirk. he's so, so clueless - it's endearing, in a way, you think as you watch him slip away and stand by the second sink.

"mm. don't have time for it today." you say softly, stuffing your powder brush back into your makeup bag and zipping it close.

perhaps your voice sounds a bit too quiet, or the exhaustion is still prominent on your features despite the glowy products you so carefully put on, cause rin's eyes drift back to life and gleam with worry.

he turns the faucet on and fiddles with the temperature, giving your face an once-over in the mirror before turning to the sink again.

"oh." he nods, fingers reaching for the fluffy, panda-eared headband you took off barely a few seconds ago. pulling it on with ease, rin wants to say something more, but dismisses it and goes to wash his face instead.

the water, as nice as it feels on his face, doesn't wash off any of this funny, uneasy feeling. is something wrong? are you mad at him? do you feel bad and shouldn't go to work today? (he will make you call it off if that's the case. there's no way you're going in sick.)

there's many possibilities, and he won't be certain until he asks. dabbing his face off with a towel, rin clears his throat to speak before turning to you - but you beat him to it.

"rin," you begin, voice sounding so resigned it makes his brows knit together. "why do you keep marking me up?"

blinking not once, not twice, but perhaps a few times too many, he does look so clueless, so silly, you have to bite back a laugh. you're supposed to be annoyed with him - but how can you really, when he's just doing all that out of bottomless, unconditional love?

continuing, "it's hard to mask and people are staring..." you trail off, giving yourself a glance in the mirror, head tilting to show more of the poorly concealed marks, as if to prove your point.

you look back at rin, who now doesn't look as puzzled anymore. instead, there's a slight frown settled in his pretty features, long lashes still damp and stuck together, lips pulled into a tight line that almost resembles a pout.

the black, fluffy ears sticking out from messy green hair really sell the look, though.

"what do you mean?" rin argues, and you go to sigh, crossing your arms. "you cover these up?"

your eyes widen, snapping over to the striker's face again. for a second, you think you've misheard him - but in fact, he does look as serious as it gets. your heart jolts with shock, flabbergasted at how truly, utterly shameless he is.

"rin!" you gasp, finger pointing to the side of your neck in exasperation. "of course i do! i can't go around work like that," you insist, tugging the hem of your robe to the side.

the man scowls, eyes trained on the faint pinks and purples. "well i don't see anythin' wrong with it," he deadpans and your shoulders slump in defeat. rin turns to face the mirror again, reaching for his toothbrush.

"everyone else does," you whine, pulling at the tie around your waist and sliding the robe off. you go to hang it up, then reach for the clothes you've neatly folded and laid on the counter last night. "i... like the way they look. and feel." you start bashfully, eyes trained on the ground when you step into your dress pants and swiftly pull them up your legs.

rin smirks at that, just slightly before you can see it and smack it right off his face.

you're quiet for a second, and rin takes the time to trail his eyes down your body as he sticks the toothbrush in his mouth. well, to be fair, there are quite a few bruises littered all over, some darker than others. there's a bite mark-shaped one, too, right on the swell of your breast, which you go to cover with the skin tight long sleeve you put on next.

(he fears your reaction when you go to look into the mirror and see it peeking out the neckline.)

it might irk you, and make people uncomfortable or amused, even - but he loves the way they look on your skin, a sharp contract to the smooth, glowy canvas, momentarily stained with his love that runs oh, so feverishly through every single cell in his body.

isn't it only natural he wants to find an output for it and eventually mark what's his?

"but-" you continue, fixing the gold charm between your breasts, the small, zirconia-studded R glimmering under the bathroom lights. "i'd appreciate it if you... kept it down." you mumble, looking up at rin again and your gaze meets his in the mirror.

rin rolls his eyes dramatically, lips quirking up into a ghost of a smile as he brushes his teeth. perhaps, he can try and opt for more... hidden places. it's not ideal - the need to showcase his claim on you still as strong as ever - but not everyone can pay so little mind to what others think of him like he does. certainly, you can't. not with your line of work, either.

he knows, and that's why it almost feels funny when his heart thumps in his chest with refusal. maybe he is a little immature, in a way - but maybe, it's not such a bad thing at all. not when it's your love that makes him feel like a kid, carefree and playful again.

"fine." rin grumbles, words muffled around the brush as he works it on the back of his teeth, sending you an amused look that has your tummy doing flips. "will hav'ta find other ways to mark my territory, though."