'lal

we cast our funeral rose inside and bury the need to prove https://pin.it/YqYQFHPpp

[lalslalaland]

i hope you’ll be miserable until you’re dead and i hope one day you’ll beg someone while crying right before your finals bitch

[lalslalaland]

i don’t feel comfortable on this blog anymore, i created another account. bye forever 🤞🏻🤞🏻

[urielectrifyingme]

this needs to be archived in american history

[365filmsbyauroranocte]

Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me (David Lynch, 1992)

RIP Harry Dean Stanton (1926-2017)

[toiich]

Masculin Feminin (1966), dir. Jean-Luc Godard

[toiich]

The Dreamers (2003), dir. Bernardo Bertolucci

[httpslizzygrant911]

[rosierlily]

alex turner's love letter to alexa chung

[toiich]

Franz Kafka, The Diaries of Franz Kafka

[toiich]

Le feu follet (1963), dir. Louis Malle

[enigmaticvariation]

someone should make a social network (2010) style biopic movie about the rise and fall of panic! at the disco because it's literally the same story. young awkward nerdy guys in the early 2000s make something cool and then have the worst friendship breakup of all time that's reminiscent of a divorce and now decades later the thing they made is lame as fuck. one guy became evil after they split up and the other guy disappeared off of the face of the earth. every man involved was so misogynistic that the story has undertones of a doomed gay relationship (a comically large hook drags me off stage and I am shot like a lame horse)

[lalslalaland]

his fingerprints all over my body and his footprints all over my soul,

his indifference cover up my whole presence with soil

I'll watch him sit on the other side of the room, I'll slowly set the table, I'll let you have me when im able

I'll put my heart in the oven, I'll pour up my blood into his glass and watch him toss out,

my eyes will find his back, I'll watch him walking out as i feel a heartache

my mind will be full of him as my chest bleeds, my brain will know that he put my rib in his suitcase, a suitcase which is made of my skin

I'll go upstairs, I'll boil myself in the bathtub like the way they burned the witch who's guilty conscience grows

I'll become estranged to my reflection, my skin will become my black bathing suit

my footsteps will drag me into his bedroom which I used to call ours, soon he'll be my dead groom

I'll put on his suit to smell his cologne before it leaves me the way he did, I'll try to feel like him

I'll force myself to think the way he did, I'll be desperate to comprehend the reason he left

I'll hold my own hand to feel his soft skin on mine, I'll remember his warm hands and cold attitude one last time

I'll lay in his white sheets, I'll watch the room turn red, I'll imagine him one last time before he cheats

memories of the sound of his breath will echo in my mind as I'll feel an ache on my groin

I'll curse every body part of me for letting him touch me

I will close my eyes one last time to feel his presence, which I didn't even feel when I was beside him

red turns to black, in the blink of an eye, I won't be able to open my eyes again

my body will be colder than the look in his eyes,

I won't get older than the age sylvia died

well it's not that good but i think i'll let it stay here? maybe ill edit it from time to time because it needs to rhyme well because im thinking of a song BECAUSE I'M IN A BAND NOW?? im playing the electric guitar and they told me to write songs too and i was like haha okay i can do that (i can't)

[lalslalaland]

BTW THAT BAND DID NOT WORK and i completely forgot about that poem… i love writing some random shit and then not remembering anything

[lalslalaland]

im planning to read this but i don't have time... im trying to sleep less so that i can spend more time on my hobbies but im basically not functioning anymore because i feel too sleepy during the day. i also wanted to buy a physical copy of perks of being a wallflower but i couldn't find it anywhere in my city and i feel shitty about it. and this made me remember something my friend told me about: i met him like a month ago and he's one of my closest friends here, he's been helping me about pretty much everything because it's his second university and he's much older than me. he has a girlfriend and believe me, i would never think that he's a romantic person but he actually is?? he told me that he searched every damn bookstore in the city and found a copy of wuthering heights, AN EDITION FROM THE 1930S AND ALSO IN ITS ORIGINAL LANGUAGE FOR HIS GIRLFRIEND'S BIRTHDAY BECAUSE IT'S HER FAVORITE BOOK. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO BOOKWORM GIRLIES. brb im gonna cry

[lalslalaland]

i love reading my old posts

[wildnickk]

[lalslalaland]

relatable

[ilzzey]

[cherryst4rg1rl]

Oh to be a girl in the 80s waiting for her boyfriend to climb through her window is my dream

[riotd]

i’m very self aware. which unfortunately hasn’t solved anything