—summary: the story of you and graham dunne was never simple, but his love for you never faltered.
— word count: 2.7k
—tw: addiction, implied drugging, alcohol, cursing, reader says she "doesn't wanna be here anymore", very obvious signs of mental illness, the works...
—a/n: so... I did not intend for this fic to be this long or this sad, but here we are. I'm breaking it into two parts so its easier to read, part two is coming shortly!! I apologize for how sad this is lol but I promise its a happy ending story! also, sorry for how I wrote daisy! she's my girl and I love her, it was just for the plot I swear! this is the first fic I've posted in about 6 months so im rusty, please be kind! and please, don't read if anything listed in the triggers is going to upset you, I want you all happy and comfortable! XO
(flashbacks in italics)
Nothing was ever Daisy’s fault, was it?
At least, that’s what Graham Dunne thought when he got a call from Karen saying his girl was wasted at a party with Daisy attached to your hip.
She should have known what you were struggling with, she should have known that you couldn’t handle a party, she should have known this wasn’t what you needed. Daisy Jones should’ve fucking known.
To be completely fair, they really all should’ve known. You’d been around since day 1. Everyone knew better, Daisy just happened to be the red corvette.
-
“You can’t keep doing this, my love.” Camilla whispered oh so gently, holding your hair back from your face, pressing a cold rag to your neck.
It was a small gig, at some shitty bar called Tony’s in Pittsburgh. The band always had a couple beers and maybe a shot or two before a show but you had begun to need more. You snuck vodka into your water bottles and begged the bartenders to sneak you a couple free extras by pulling your top down and leaning over the bar, using your forearms to push your tits up.
It worked every time. Pigs.
“Can do whatever I want.” You slurred, cheek pressed to the toilet seat.
But damnit, you knew she was right.
Tony’s wasn’t the first time.
There was Rod’s, and The Ladie’s Room, and The Shiner Saloon, and some girl named Lisa’s 18th birthday party. It was becoming a pattern, everyone could tell.
You always went back to your house after a show. Your parents had been completely absent since you were 15, you never knew where they were. And after every show, their cars were never once in the driveway.
A safespace.
Billy would sit outside of the bathroom, head leaning against the door while Graham waited in the living room, arms crossed and head down, not wanting to listen to your cries and shakes of pain.
Eddie would retreat to the guest room, but he usually wouldn’t be able to fall asleep til he heard the click of your door next to his.
Warren would be passed out on the couch as soon as you all walked through the door, not that he didn’t care about you immensely, but the poor kid could just not stay awake if he was tired.
“I wanna go to bed.” You said.
Camilla sighed, “Are you sure you’re ready?”
You nodded and so did Camilla. She got up to get Billy like she always did, and he’d come and pick you up off of the bathroom floor, as he always did, and carry you to your room and lay you on the bed, letting Camilla make sure you’re comfortable, like she always did.
Graham would come in and ask how you’re doing, like he always did, and he’d make himself comfortable on your floor with throw pillows and spare blankets, like he always did.
But that night, after Tony’s, things changed.
“I can’t do this anymore, Graham.” You whimpered.
Fuck.
This was early days, Graham was still awkward as hell and didn’t know how to go about things like this.
“Do what?” He croaked, mustering up the courage to be there for you.
“This. I can’t live like this. I’m afraid I’m gonna kill myself.”
Graham was up in an instant, reaching for the doorknob. “Do you want me to get Camilla?”
You shook your head, “No, please. Just-” You wiped a tear from your cheek, “Will you just lay with me?”
“Anything.” Graham breathed as he settled into bed next to you. You immediately wrapped your arms around him, being too drunk to care about any awkwardness and Graham was thankful.
“We’ll get you out of this, promise.”
-
That was the last time anybody saw you drink anything besides a beer or two, following that was shirley temples and cherry cokes.
Nobody really knew the heaviness of addiction then, but they knew that you were happier, and that’s all that really mattered to them. You were even laughing at Warren’s jokes and Billy and Eddie’s lame bickering, everything felt okay.
“You don’t drink?” Karen had asked, the first time you properly met in California, while she was digging through the fridge searching for a beer. You shook your head, hoping you weren’t going to get some crazy reaction like you were a zoo animal in a cage like you got from most people.
She just nodded, a small smile playing at her lips as she pulled two coca cola bottles from the fridge, popping them open with her ring and handing you one.
“Cheers to that.”
You were sober enough to realize you were in love with Graham, and confident enough to tell him. And man, he could’ve exploded.
There was a celebration, at the house in Laurel Canyon, just the 7 of you.
Warren recalls later that Graham looked like he’d been dipped in sunshine and rainbows.
“Like he’d just smoked sunshine and been fucked by a rainbow. It was crazy, man.”
Well, almost.
You’d been around the band multiple times while they drank and it was never a problem. You’d have the first round of beers with them then tap out, but you always stayed and had fun, smoked a couple joints and cigarettes, never without a mocktail or coca cola in your hand. Sometimes, usually Karen or Camilla, someone would join you on the sober night, and that always felt really nice.
That night had felt different, you were scared.
-
“I’m gonna fuck him up Warren…” You said as you laid on the floor with the drummer as Down By The Seaside by Led Zeppelin played from the record player, Warren laughed.
“Yeah you are.” He said, his tone suggestive as he bumped his elbow with yours.
You rolled your eyes, fighting the heat creeping into your cheeks. “You know what I mean, man. I’m gonna ruin him.”
Warren had known you long enough and listened to enough of the songs you wrote to where he’d like to think he knew you pretty well.
And you never opened up out of the blue unless you were drunk.
“Have you been drinking?” He asked, not looking up from the ceiling. You scoffed.
“I still have a beer here and there, Warren.”
“You know what I mean, man.” He repeated your words back to you and you felt like you couldn’t breathe.
“I’m going to bed.” You said and stood up, trying your hardest not to stumble or slur.
“Honey…” Warren started, pushing himself off of the floor to try to stop you.
“NO!” You whipped around, flipping your hair so forcefully it stung your face but you were quick to pull it back.
“Don’t fucking- don’t fucking do that, man!” You started, holding a hand up. “My own friends don’t even fucking trust me i’m just constantly babied! Do you know how that feels?”
At that point, Karen, Eddie and Billy had tuned in, being in the kitchen. Camilla and Graham must have been elsewhere, he had always confided in her like a sister.
“Hey–” Billy tried to interject with a hand on your wrist but you were quick to pull away.
“Huh?! Do any of you know how that feels?!” You were borderline screaming now, and everyone was speaking to you so softly, hands slowly trying to grasp you and it made you want to scream even louder.
“How dare you ‘ccuse me of something like that asshole?” You were beginning to slur your words, the tequila you’d snuck from Warren’s room starting to hit pretty heavily, making your eyes droop and words slur.
“Baby, please-” Karen started, making the move to grasp your arm but you turned and lost your balance, nearly falling but Eddie was quick to catch you, he held on tight and didn’t dare let go until you calmed down or Graham came back. Billy had left minutes ago to find him and Camilla, who had taken a walk so he could freely gush about his new girl without the chances of anyone else hearing.
“Need you to calm down, babe.” Eddie whispered, running a hand up and down your arm for comfort.
“None of you even care!”
Warren shook his head alongside Karen, both of them had squatted in front of you, doing their best to provide what you needed.
“That’s not true.”
“I fucking hate you all!”
“You don’t mean that.”
“I don’t wanna be here anymore!”
And then he said your name.
You froze.
He was gonna leave you, you were so sure of it. You worked so hard to be better for him and it didn’t work.
“No…” You whimpered and you swore you saw Graham break in front of your eyes.
“You can’t- you can’t see this.”
But he didn’t care. He knelt in front of you and Eddie and gathered you into his own arms, completely silent as he carried you to his room and you wanted to disappear into him so badly.
“‘M so sorry…” You slurred, and still he was quiet. You let him undress you and replace your pretty top and flared jeans with his own tee shirt and boxer shorts.
You watched as he changed into a similar outfit as you picked at your nails. “Graham, I-”
He sighed and placed his hands on either sides of your cheeks, placing a firm kiss on your forehead that only made you cry harder. You brought your hands up to grip his wrists, not willing to let go of the feeling of his lips on your skin.
“I’ve ruined everything, haven’t I?”
Graham was silent again as he pulled you into his bed with him, covering you both with the large duvet.
“Not in the slightest.”
-
That night was really the last night anybody had seen you get drunk like that.
Then, Daisy Jones came along.
And you learned how to keep bad habits a secret.
Tequila and mints in the bathroom, water and cherry cokes with the band. A shot of jameson to fall asleep. Champagne to wake up, brush your teeth. A beer in the shower after lunch, leave the evidence in Warren’s room since there were hundreds of empty ones anyway.
It’s not like Daisy was teaching you one on one, you just started watching her, and you liked the way she got away with it.
No one told Daisy about your issue either, you could hold your own and you had asked them not to, so lips were sealed.
But it took everything in Graham and Billy not to tell her to tread lightly every time they saw the two of you sneak off on your own.
And now here was Graham Dunne, sitting in the driver's seat of the van outside of God knows who’s house, with Camilla in the passenger’s seat and Billy in the back. Moral support.
“Want us to come with you?”
Graham shook his head. “I need to do this alone.”
Billy scoffed, “I’m not gonna let you go in there with our two hot headed alcoholic rage sisters. Cam, you stay here.”
“Nope, you go I go. You two get our girl, I’ll handle Daisy.”
The three bickered a moment but finally settled on their plan. Graham and Camilla would take you, while Karen and Billy took Daisy, since the blonde girl drove.
“Fucking finally.” Karen exasperated as she saw her friends walk into the backyard of the party while trying her hardest to hold you upright.
“Where is Daisy?” Billy spat immediately, making eyes around the party. You had always been like a sister to him, in the way Camilla was to Graham, and he could’ve killed the redheaded girl in that moment.
“Beats me.” Karen said, passing off your deadweight into Graham, who was quickly supported by Billy. Your head lulled onto your boyfriend's shoulder, recognizing him as a source of comfort even in your inebriated state.
It made his soul ache.
“Is Simone here?” Camilla asked.
Karen shook her head, “Was. Split as soon as she and Daisy got into a fight. Offered to take this one” she nodded her head at you “home with her but I figured it’d be best if you guys came.”
Graham shook his head, “You made the right call, thank you.”
“Yeah, well uh, I sure as hell can’t drive. Got drunk as hell before even stepping foot in the backyard, soon as I saw (Y/n) I stepped in and called you guys immediately.”
“Do we need to get Daisy?”
“That’s a fight you sure as hell don’t wanna have. Yelled at me just for taking ‘her best friend’ away from her to get her some water.”
Billy rolled his eyes.
Graham and Billy began making their way out of the party with you slung around their shoulders, and Camilla walking arm in arm with a very drunk Karen who kept tripping over feet.
And suddenly red hair and sparkling eyes were in front of them.
“Ohhh no, what happened to my girl?” She tried to touch your face but Billy pulled you away, ready to say something before Graham spoke up, surprising everyone.
“Your girl, Daisy?!” His voice boomed, no doubt you’d be embarrassed if you were in any way conscious. “This is my girl, our girl.” He gestured to the rest of the group. “And I’d say it’s in your best interest to leave her the hell alone from now on.”
-
Graham was a mess when he got you home.
Daisy ended up at the house not too long after the rest, explaining she didn’t know the situation, apologizing profusely, informing them all you had been drinking for months. She told them in a sullen voice that you hadn’t been this bad last time she saw her, that she thinks someone must have done it to you.
Graham understood, he did. But he couldn’t look at Daisy. How could she let you out of her sight, to allow someone to do this to you? It made his stomach turn. Billy was next to his brother this time, in the living room, a hand resting on his shoulder, squeezing from time to time, and instead of standing Graham sat with his head in his hands, creating knots in his hair as he ran his fingers through it. Cam and Karen had you in the bathroom, after seeing the panic in Graham’s eyes they decided to take over that part, knowing it wouldn’t be easy for him to see. Warren stayed up, and Eddie didn’t retreat to his room, Daisy paced back and forth outside of the bathroom, biting her nails. Graham could hear it, it was driving him nuts.
“Would it kill you to be quiet for two seconds, Daisy?!” He groaned, running a hand over his red splotchy face.
Everyone knew that Graham was just upset and taking it out on Daisy, the red corvette, which wasn’t exactly fair, but they also knew better than to argue with Graham at that point.
“You know what, Graham?!” Daisy stomped into the living room, planting herself in front of the Dunne brothers with her arms crossed.
Graham didn’t look up.
“Hey, I’m talkin’ to you!” Daisy used her thumb and pointer finger to grip his chin and pull his face up to look at her and she immediately felt guilty at his tear stained cheeks and glassy eyes.
She sighed, and crouched before him.
“I know it’s hard, and I’m so, so sorry this is happening to her. But she makes her own decisions, Graham. No one could’ve stopped her.”
Graham nodded, but still wouldn’t look in her direction. “Will you go check on her, please?”
Daisy would later tell the story with a frown on her face, and she’d recall never being that scared for another person before, despite the smile she put on for Graham.
“I didn’t-” She took a breath, “I’d never seen it that bad before, at least not while I was sober. I thought she was going to die.”
Daisy retreated to yours and Graham’s shared room shortly after discovering she couldn’t stomach staying in that bathroom, deciding to make herself useful by getting the bed ready, fluffing the pillows and retrieving some fresh clothes for you to wear to bed, making sure she grabbed ones that smelled like your boyfriend. She dropped the clothes off in the bathroom, and passed along the message to Graham from Karen and Camilla that it was time to take you to bed.
This had been Billy’s job, since before The Six was even The Six, that’s how it went. But things had changed, Graham had grown, and it was his turn.
JJ: gets kidnapped. tortured. tortured again. tortured again again. and tortured AGAIN. nearly r*ped. almost KILLED. and then secretly runs after (while dodging bullets) and fights her assaulter. almost FALLS off a BUILDING.
Her friends: so drinks? party? you’re good, right Jayge?
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