lanuitdanslesveines

[lanuitdanslesveines]

sometimes i want to blow everything up

but i think i just want to start again

[lanuitdanslesveines]

Things I wish I said #3

Just because I can handle anything doesn't mean I have to.

[lanuitdanslesveines]

Things I wish I said #2

The next time you speak to me like that will be the last time we speak at all.

[lanuitdanslesveines]

Things I wish I said #1

I have given each of you a piece of my heart, and wherever you all are, I know you're taking good care of it.

[lanuitdanslesveines]

It’s Day 1.

I’ll be 25 next month. I died a few years ago and every day since then I’ve tried to come back to life. I’ve come up for air a few times along the way but it never lasts. It’s been nighttime ever since and I’ve grown used to it but I want to see the sun again. I want to die. I want to live again. I want to try one more time. I think I’ll try one more time. It’s Day 1.

I’ve had a lot of those ever since I started to try to come back to life. There’s been some days afterwards but the night has always taken over. I have done this hundreds of times before. I’ve never done it. I want to vanish into that night but I can’t do it. Not now. Not yet. I have to see if I can do it this time. Maybe this time. So I will try again. It’s Day 3,897. It’s Day 1.

I’m gonna start dying next month. I’m gonna try to come back to life tomorrow. I have nothing left inside. I will give it everything I got. I ran out last year. The night is beautiful. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever seen. I’ve died in it a thousand times and I will never let it go. I want to see the dawn. I want to come back in my body to hug them again. I am terrified to see the sun and it will cost me all I have. This is the last day. It’s Day 1.

I have to try one more time.

It’s Day 1.