Later Fragments

I write things and sometimes they show up here. 

[hedwiggywithit]

The Blizzard

By: Phillis Levin

Now that the worst is over, they predict Something messy and difficult, though not Life-threatening. Clearly we needed

To stock up on water and candles, making Tureens of soup and things that keep When electricity fails and phone lines fall.

Igloos rise on air conditioners, gargoyles Fly and icicles shatter. Frozen runways, Lines in markets, and paralyzed avenues

Verify every fear. But there is warmth In this sudden desire to sleep, To surrender to our common condition

With joy, watching hours of news Devoted to weather. People finally stop To talk to each other - the neighbors

We didn’t know were always here. Today they are ready for business, Armed with a new vocabulary,

Casting their saga in phrases as severe As last night’s snow: damage assessment, Evacuation, emergency management.

The shift of the wind matters again, And we are so simple, so happy to hear The scrape of a shovel next door.

[theparisreview]

Undersong of grief. A lifetime could be wasted Dreaming there, a lifetime Wasted not dreaming there.

—Phillis Levin, from “Another Room.” Photography: James Luckett.

[punch-in-the-face-poetry]

"End of April," Phillis Levin

Under a cherry tree I found a robin’s egg, broken, but not shattered.

I had been thinking of you, and was kneeling in the grass among fallen blossoms

when I saw it: a blue scrap, a delicate toy, as light as confetti

It didn’t seem real, but nature will do such things from time to time.

I looked inside: it was glistening, hollow, a perfect shell

except for the missing crown, which made it possible to look inside.

What had been there is gone now and lives in my heart

where, periodically, it opens up its wings, tearing me apart.

[april-is]

April 23, 2014: May Day, Phillis Levin

May Day Phillis Levin I’ve decided to waste my life again, Like I used to: get drunk on The light in the leaves, find a wall Against which something can happen, Whatever may have happened Long ago—let a bullet hole echoing The will of an executioner, a crevice In which a love note was hidden, Be a cell where a struggling tendril Utters a few spare syllables at dawn. I’ve decided to waste my life In a new way, to forget whoever Touched a hair on my head, because It doesn’t matter what came to pass, Only that it passed, because we repeat Ourselves, we repeat ourselves. I’ve decided to walk a long way Out of the way, to allow something Dreaded to waken for no good reason, Let it go without saying, Let it go as it will to the place     It will go without saying: a wall Against which a body was pressed For no good reason, other than this.

–

On this day in:

2013: The Triumph of the Infinite, Mark Strand 2012: Mermaid Song, Kim Addonizio 2011: the laughing heart, Charles Bukowski 2010: from Jenny, Genya Turovskaya 2009: A Step Away From Them, Frank O’Hara 2008: Entry, Lisa Sewell 2007: Meanwhile, Richard Siken 2006: Preface to a Twenty Volume Suicide Note, Amiri Baraka 2005: Holy Sonnet XIV, John Donne

[hush-syrup]

I’ve decided to waste my life again, like I used to: get drunk on the light in the leaves, find a wall against which something can happen.

From May Day by Phillis Levin (via hush-syrup)

[wordsnquotes]

I am too young and I’ve loved you too much.

Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov (via wordsnquotes)

[tenwordstory]

We try to prevent and push away what makes us happy, Then try to deny that someone actually makes us love the world a little more I never understood why that was, If you love something wouldn’t you want to keep it or does the fear of losing them make you not want to ever love them?

keep what you love (99 out of 365)

[gosh]

[lovequotesrus]

Everything you love is here

[laterfragments]

[laterfragments]

How to fall in love with the wrong person, part II

You want to be fought for. You want to be found when you’ve been in the same place all along.

You settle. You dream. You sleep too long because what exists beyond your imagination is never going to be better. You exist but sometimes you wonder at what cost.

Existing got better when he arrived. He comes and goes — you really do know the day will come when he’ll just be gone. You do.

[laterfragments]

First things first

The point of knowing was never the point of knowing. 

I spoke about it too much last week and to anyone who'd listen. They'd listen, for sure. It's an interesting story - my perception of you and me. 

A story might be an elaboration to describe the turn of events that have led to now. Even  'turn of events' puts too much emphasis on certain moments in particular. Sure, we have moments but none strike me as more important than the next. There's an element of addition here. 

When will the subtraction start?

[laterfragments]

Prove Me Wrong

Forget it.

This time around, I want you to prove me right. 

[laterfragments]

How to fall in love with the wrong person, part I

It's a lot more fluid than I expected and a hell of a lot more resilient. 

I date other people,

I fall in love with other people. 

My heart gets broken.

I wonder if I was ever really in love with any of these people because the gods of urban young adulthood dropped you on my doorstep. 

It almost feels too right.

This, I know.

'Too right' can never be a good thing. 

[laterfragments]

Hurt People Hurt People

When's the right time to tell you what's going on, exactly? 

We exchange glances, prolonged looks, words, fragments of conversation - leading where? 

Oh, I know I shouldn't talk about 'where' or the 'there'. We've all been told to focus on the 'now'.. To be frank with you, our now isn't particularly great or brilliant or wonderful or magical or any of that.

Don't you see how now and there are integral to each other's existence? They're dependent on one another, influenced by the other – without one the other has no life. 

I want your 'now' and your 'there'. 

I'm in it for it all. 

[nevver]

e.e. cummings

[observando]

The only calibration that counts is how much heart people invest, how much they ignore their fears of being hurt or caught out or humiliated. And the only thing people regret is that they didn’t live boldly enough, that they didn’t invest enough heart, didn’t love enough. Nothing else really counts at all.

Ted Hughes, Letters of Ted Hughes (via observando)

[laterfragments]

Everywhere.

I go through minutes, hours, and watch entire films without thinking of you. 

Making my bed in the morning, brushing my teeth, and going to the gym – I hardly think twice. 

The Muni ride is just the same and Caltrain too, for that matter. 

Work is work – long and tiring with or without you. 

Even Friday nights are fine. 

It’s just that, today, my mind felt heavy, and I took a nap (you know, I never take naps). An hour spent under my duvet – until the belated arrival.  

You’re gone.

And I feel it everywhere.