extra angry at crimes.

wip.

[turntechstumphead-blog]

It’s been - What. A long time? You’ll settle with a few months, since the last time you were hooked into a game like that. Didn’t stop you living with everyone else, but..

Well.

Whatever.

This was a bad game. And as per the whole bad game ‘i didn’t get killed immediately’ schedule, you’re now getting yourself a glass of water, and something that resembles edible food, even if you did fetch it from troll supply. Looks like bread. You’ll assume it’s bread.

The phone that buzzes against your elbow is enough to startle out of your seat.

It always feels a little worse after not being in the game for a long time. Adds a little more paranoia to the deal. Luckily, you’re probably fine for the next day or so. 

The phone is picked up, and AR’s right on schedule.

[TG ➡️AR: hey]

[TG ➡️AR: welp]

[TG ➡️AR: im not eating honey for another week at least wbu]

[lawisbeauty]

You never doubted he would reply, but you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding when he does.. and you feel a little better anyway, because yeah, see? It’s okay. Just like it’s been. For years.

[AR ➡️TG: i hope to eat it again never.]

[AR ➡️TG: because it did not even taste good i think.]

[AR ➡️TG: even though i guess it is healthy. :)]

[AR ➡️TG: are you busy now]

[turntechstumphead-blog]

[TG ➡️AR: honey was always a shitty excuse for sugar anyway ngl]

[TG ➡️AR: im not busy though just grabbing food]

[TG ➡️AR: you want i can try microwaving something for you if you want to crash here for a second or something]

[TG ➡️AR: foods always a pretty good bandage for immediate emotional trauma]

The slimy-kinda bread is stacked in the toaster, his eyes shifting to the pantry. 

No gravy. Beef and gravy looks just as good, though. Probably better! He usually carries something for his carapace friends anyway, considering it’s convenient for them, and easy for you seeing as microwaved meals are all you really know.

[lawisbeauty]

[AR ➡️TG: agreed. i will be right over.]

You mayor may not have kind of already been on your way there.

[KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK]

[improbablesleuthmoved]

@ l

@ l a w is d   

@lawisbeauty

hye

[lawisbeauty]

hey sleuth. did you become drunk again without me

[lawisbeauty]

You are now the Aimless Renegade………

…………..and that just happened.

[lawisbeauty]

Or… it didn’t. Not really. It wasn’t real, and you’re back, alone, at home, which is.

“Games,” as you’ve come to know them, aren’t all bad. Sometimes, they’re even enjoyable; you have some great memories of working together with friends and “family” to solve mysteries and bring evildoers to justice. Memories of the relief of safety and freedom, the satisfaction of a job well done.

This was not one of those games.

> AR: Equip mobile device.

You open your message history with @turntechstumphead . Time for the usual post-traumatic game recovery routine. God, it’s been a while since your deputy was involved. That was for the best.

[AR➡️TG: hey.]

[turntechstumphead-blog]

It’s been - What. A long time? You’ll settle with a few months, since the last time you were hooked into a game like that. Didn’t stop you living with everyone else, but..

Well.

Whatever.

This was a bad game. And as per the whole bad game ‘i didn’t get killed immediately’ schedule, you’re now getting yourself a glass of water, and something that resembles edible food, even if you did fetch it from troll supply. Looks like bread. You’ll assume it’s bread.

The phone that buzzes against your elbow is enough to startle out of your seat.

It always feels a little worse after not being in the game for a long time. Adds a little more paranoia to the deal. Luckily, you’re probably fine for the next day or so. 

The phone is picked up, and AR’s right on schedule.

[TG ➡️AR: hey]

[TG ➡️AR: welp]

[TG ➡️AR: im not eating honey for another week at least wbu]

[lawisbeauty]

You never doubted he would reply, but you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding when he does.. and you feel a little better anyway, because yeah, see? It’s okay. Just like it’s been. For years.

[AR ➡️TG: i hope to eat it again never.]

[AR ➡️TG: because it did not even taste good i think.]

[AR ➡️TG: even though i guess it is healthy. :)]

[AR ➡️TG: are you busy now]

[lawisbeauty]

You are now the Aimless Renegade………

…………..and that just happened.

[lawisbeauty]

Or... it didn’t. Not really. It wasn’t real, and you’re back, alone, at home, which is.

“Games,” as you’ve come to know them, aren’t all bad. Sometimes, they’re even enjoyable; you have some great memories of working together with friends and “family” to solve mysteries and bring evildoers to justice. Memories of the relief of safety and freedom, the satisfaction of a job well done.

This was not one of those games.

> AR: Equip mobile device.

You open your message history with @turntechstumphead . Time for the usual post-traumatic game recovery routine. God, it’s been a while since your deputy was involved. That was for the best.

[AR➡️TG: hey.]

[turntechstumphead-blog]

@lawisbeauty @improbablesleuth 

i just tried to screenprint ‘ok cool’ shirts what sizes do you guys take

[improbablesleuthmoved]

oh god hahaha large???? dont you think we own too many meme shirts dave

[turntechstumphead-blog]

no and no

i dont know about you guys but half the ones i end up getting gross and peely after a while and im more worried about keeping hip with the kids than covering myself like a normal human being so

[lawisbeauty]

i will never own too many meme shirts. i will never even own enough m--

[Zap.]

[This always happens at the least convenient of times.]

[lawisbeauty]

You are now the Aimless Renegade.........

..............and that just happened.

[improbablesleuthmoved]

Sleuth just grins in return, slowing his glass to a stop in one palm after the bartender slides it over to him. He glances over and mentally notes AR’s half-empty glass, but otherwise doesn’t say anything. 

“Got that gut feeling that there’s gonna be another round this weekend,” Sleuth says after a couple of sips of gin. “Dunno if it’ll be us who gets pulled in, though. Really hope not. If I end up getting pulled out of the timeline the one week where I’ve got two cases stacked up I’m gonna have to have a word with GPI.” Not that GPI really regulates this universes fits and starts, but the point still stands. “By the way, that your first or second?” he adds, casually gesturing to AR’s cup. He does his best to come off as conversational, rather than wary.

[lawisbeauty]

AR looks down at his drink. He doesn’t feel the slightest bit affected yet. “that is .. m .. not important.” He looks back at Sleuth, happy to engage with the other topic of conversation. “two cases huh !! and =i= have heard =nothing.= for days i have written traffic cita–”

Sleuth’s gone. Renegade blinks, pupilless eyes refocusing onto the opposite wall, before sighing dejectedly and turning to the bartender. “put it–”

====

[improbablesleuthmoved]

[note: eiffel tower bar 3/14/16 log]

Sleuth lands back in the empty, dimly lit bar, ears roaring as blood pumps through his veins. He flounders, grasping at the sides of his head where a bullet wound should be but finds nothing but flat, unbroken skin. 

His original memories flood back to him less than a millisecond later. Just another game. Sleuth manages to crack a nervous smile. He’s still running on an adrenaline high, so he focuses on taking a couple of deep breaths and flexing his hands open and closed. And then he waits. 

When Renegade pops back into existence a few long moments later, Sleuth does his best to put on a lively grin. 

“Well that went pretty alright, all things considered,” he says casually, waiting till AR seems to have gathered all his bearings before reaching out to give him a pat on the shoulder. “I could probably still use a drink though.”

[lawisbeauty]

..,,,,

Disoriented. The word comes to his mind before any sense of clarity. Then everything returns at once.

It’s okay. It wasn’t real. It’s no more real, at least, than the memory of the time when, after being forced to shoot Slick himself, he slaughtered everyone in the tattoo parlor in a blind rage, then slung his rifle over his back, found the door unlocked, and pushed it open to step out into a frosty morning. It’s no more real than the boat on which he -- with great difficulty -- committed suicide to save Tavros and Vriska, or the taste of his own blood. It’s no more real than the hastily-constructed noose that was slipped around his neck in the Felt mansion. It’s no more real than a nightmare.

The tips of his claws dig into the bar. While his expression is stern and calm, the illusion of composure is fragile. At Sleuth’s touch, it crumbles like a shed cicada shell, and he rises to throw his arms around him and bury his face in his chest with a little whine. Sure, this isn’t anything new, but it’s always hard to be the last survivor.

“yeah.”

[lawisbeauty]

The Renegade nods. “but still always fashionable also.” Not everything’s like the blog; he can very nearly always be somewhere on time, on those occasions when he considers punctuality to be an actual priority. A meetup with Sleuth is never an event worth shirking.

He’s already halfway through his first drink. Hey, nobody ever accused him of being patient or considerate of certain governing rules of date etiquette.

[improbablesleuthmoved]

Sleuth just grins in return, slowing his glass to a stop in one palm after the bartender slides it over to him. He glances over and mentally notes AR’s half-empty glass, but otherwise doesn’t say anything. 

“Got that gut feeling that there’s gonna be another round this weekend,” Sleuth says after a couple of sips of gin. “Dunno if it’ll be us who gets pulled in, though. Really hope not. If I end up getting pulled out of the timeline the one week where I’ve got two cases stacked up I’m gonna have to have a word with GPI.” Not that GPI really regulates this universes fits and starts, but the point still stands. “By the way, that your first or second?” he adds, casually gesturing to AR’s cup. He does his best to come off as conversational, rather than wary.

[lawisbeauty]

AR looks down at his drink. He doesn’t feel the slightest bit affected yet. “that is .. m .. not important.” He looks back at Sleuth, happy to engage with the other topic of conversation. “two cases huh !! and =i= have heard =nothing.= for days i have written traffic cita--”

Sleuth’s gone. Renegade blinks, pupilless eyes refocusing onto the opposite wall, before sighing dejectedly and turning to the bartender. “put it--”

====

[improbablesleuthmoved]

@lawisbeauty

The Cahoots Closet was an absurd name for a bar, but everyone on this side of the universe had at least a bit of sentimental value for the place. It was one of the homier dives that you felt comfortable setting up in for the night, sharing a story or two with pals over a couple of drinks. 

Sleuth trudges in about 10 minutes passed the arranged time. His date’s already here, to no surprise; Renegade’s bright yellow tape is easy to spot in the small establishment. Sleuth makes a beeline straight for the seat beside AR at the bar, swinging up onto the faded worn stool and leaning an arm onto the counter. 

“Early as always,” he says with a grin, nodding to the bartender shortly afterwards signaling him to get him the usual.

[lawisbeauty]

The Renegade nods. “but still always fashionable also.” Not everything’s like the blog; he can very nearly always be somewhere on time, on those occasions when he considers punctuality to be an actual priority. A meetup with Sleuth is never an event worth shirking.

He’s already halfway through his first drink. Hey, nobody ever accused him of being patient or considerate of certain governing rules of date etiquette.

[improbablesleuthmoved]

looks like that one really struck a chord with ya, huh chief? slick’d be real proud t’ see you slinging these out like a pro. i remember you used to really fret over our jokes all the time, back in the day.

[lawisbeauty]

just a minor chord. but yes. back then i was more high strung.

i have very little idea about what guitar words are referring actually. i have had almost no experience ever with the instrument. except being beaten with it into death.

are you doing any thing later

[improbablesleuthmoved]

that’s fair, i only know a term or two ‘cause i dabbled when i was a whole lot younger.

nope, evening’s free. what’s up?

[lawisbeauty]

oh. good.

i am restless. because for a long time i have not left home. we can go to the cahoots closet if you want. bears are on me tonight.

[lawisbeauty]

… two out of ten. i understand they guitarder as you go. but that was a generic music pun on your first =pick.=

[improbablesleuthmoved]

looks like that one really struck a chord with ya, huh chief? slick’d be real proud t’ see you slinging these out like a pro. i remember you used to really fret over our jokes all the time, back in the day.

[lawisbeauty]

just a minor chord. but yes. back then i was more high strung.

i have very little idea about what guitar words are referring actually. i have had almost no experience ever with the instrument. except being beaten with it into death.

are you doing any thing later

[lawisbeauty]

you know i always am ridiculously fashionable.

i remember that much. i was i think opening kill. which has not happened in a long time. i was not in the game active. but i learned a valuable lesson anyway. i learned i hate being killed with a guitar. i hope i can remember this in future games. because it is important to know. henceforth i know to never choose guitar. when they say last words and method of death.

[improbablesleuthmoved]

pfft. t’be honest im half glad you remember. having to explain that someone was first down is always a weird experience for all parties involved. but hey, at least you can come away from it sayin it was an orchestrated incident, right? eh?

[lawisbeauty]

... two out of ten. i understand they guitarder as you go. but that was a generic music pun on your first =pick.=

[lawisbeauty]

@improbablesleuth

i did it. i blogged like you told me. it is not complete. i must do work on the theme more. but first i wanted to post to you. and also to ask about your last game. because i heard that you won against odds. but i did not participate in the after the game festivities. so i have no idea how.

[improbablesleuthmoved]

heyy AR! dont worry, bein fashionably late is high in taste these days.

last game was actually a wild time if ive seen any!! you wouldnt believe it, i had to wrestle with both sides in order to come out on top, n’ had to play a whole lotta people like a fiddle which… admittedly i still feel a bit bad about, but, well…. you know how liar is. 

and you, uh. you were in it. for a bit, at least. 

[lawisbeauty]

you know i always am ridiculously fashionable.

i remember that much. i was i think opening kill. which has not happened in a long time. i was not in the game active. but i learned a valuable lesson anyway. i learned i hate being killed with a guitar. i hope i can remember this in future games. because it is important to know. henceforth i know to never choose guitar. when they say last words and method of death.

[lawisbeauty]

@improbablesleuth

i did it. i blogged like you told me. it is not complete. i must do work on the theme more. but first i wanted to post to you. and also to ask about your last game. because i heard that you won against odds. but i did not participate in the after the game festivities. so i have no idea how.