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@mockeryofreason-blog
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Send “✘” for your muse to run their fingers along mine’s scars!
‘ i’m sorry i woke you. ’
the road starters ( always accepting! )
Even though ah’Jhyen seemed to effortlessly move without a sound—the walrider was a conglomerate of nanites, spread out in the area around him, billions of tiny machines working away at keeping [ THE HOST ] safe. It threw up a simple warning: [ PRESENCE DETECTED ] that usually didn’t wake Miles from a dead sleep, but today it roused him. But what woke him was the hand that touched his arm. He flinched awake from it when their hand settled on his arm, rubbing his eyes as he turned to look over.
“It’s okay,” he said, his voice almost muffled with the sleep on his voice. He turned over onto his back and used his elbows to sit up a little. He squinted; faint, white light shown in his normally deep brown eyes, nanites illuminating the room for him. It wasn’t that unlike a cat’s eyes caught in the light. “I was having a nightmare anyway. Better to be awake.”
A pause. He tilted his head. “Can’t sleep, ah’Jhyen?”
rebellicvs:
It was just his luck that out of all the asylums he could have been stuck in, he would be thrown into the one with literally crazy, experimenting assholes as the bosses of the place. Another aspect of his family’s curse? Maybe. Who could say for sure after all.
And if that wasn’t enough then the fact that after a few months the place went even further down the road to hell. As in: literally everything went up in flames and the worst of the (actual and not cursed liked him) crazy ones running free in the place, killing whoever even glanced at them wrong.
In all of that chaos it was pure chance that he had come across the only other sane person in this place: an outsider who had somehow stumbled across all of this pile of shit.
Even with the two of them it had taken them some time to get out, especially since the other man’s legs were broken or at least cracked in some places. “Sounds like a plan. Can’t wait to get out of this bloody hellhole.” The last part was more muttered to himself than anything else as he helped the other man get into the car before moving towards the driver’s seat.
His hands shake slightly as he wraps them around the steering-wheel (he was finally out of that place) but several steady breaths later he could tell that the shaking had stopped.
He had one or two places in mind that they could head towards but for now he was just glad to be getting further and further away. His companions voice broke through his thoughts and he glanced at Miles before focusing back on the road. “Eloy.” His voice is raspy and he has to clear it a few times before he can continue, “It’s nice to meet you Miles… even if the circumstances could have been better.”
Falling silent for a moment, he hesitantly added, “so… do you have anywhere in mind where we should go to?” Eloy did but he had no desire to lay down all of his cards just yet if he could help it.
Miles thought long and hard about it, as he sat shivering from the bloodloss. Where to go next was a good question; most of he past five years were spent in Africa, and he’d only been back a few months, so he didn’t have any safe places built up. He watched him, offering a shrug.
“I have a hotel room I’ve been staying at in Denver. At the very least we could go there, grab some clean clothes—should be something your size there—and maybe some food. Grab my extra cash. We can’t afford to stay there over night but we can refuel and move on, find someplace to lay low.”
A pause and he looked at his hands. Hotwiring the car had broken the scabs where his fingers had been severed, and they were bleeding out onto his jeans again. He swallowed thickly.
“—and I need to grab something for these injuries. I don’t know where we go after that but I’m open to ideas.” His shoulders sink a little. “Murkoff’s going to be coming for us. That’s the one thing I know for sure. If you don’t have any ideas, I guess we just pick a direction and drive until we’re a couple states over, find somewhere to settle in.”
the wolf among us || starters
offabletown:
❝ Is that a threat ? ❞ ❝ These lips are sealed . ❞ ❝ It is better to be feared than loved .❞ ❝ I’ve seen the way you look at ___ , okay ? You’re not foolin’ me .❞ ❝ You’re not as bad as everyone says you are . ❞ ❝ Anyone ever tell you you got a big fuckin’ mouth ? ❞ ❝ Whatever . I’m too out of it to get into it . ❞ ❝ We all have our parts to play . ❞ ❝ You can’t change the past . ❞ ❝ ____ , I’m gonna break your fucking face . ❞ ❝ I’ve heard stories about you . ❞ ❝ In some tiny little bottled up way , deep inside … you kind of enjoy it when things go wrong . ( Because it gives you an excuse to just … stop pretending ) . ❞ ❝ Life is easier with friends . ❞ ❝ Well I’d appreciate it if you’d fuck off . ❞ ❝ But no , hate’s the wrong word . They fear you more than anything . ❞ ❝ I know you like this whole ’ lone wolf ’ thing you got going for yourself . ❞ ❝ I wish I could have seen it. ❞ ❝ I’ll see you around . ❞ ❝ You almost looked peaceful . Except you’re lying in a dirty alley . ❞ ❝ Just … try not to be like ( yourself ) … ❞ ❝ Pardon the intrusion . I wasn’t aware this was a munchkin’s house .❞ ❝ I didn’t realize you were the bitch of the bitch . ❞ ❝ Hey , what are your plans now ? ❞ ❝ I’m not yours to lose ! ❞ ❝ Blah blah … blah blah blah . ❞ ❝ Are you saying you need a friend right now ? You can trust me . ❞ ❝ People are scared of you . I mean , look at your hands . ❞ ❝ You looked like when you take an action figure and bend it’s limbs the wrong way . ❞ ❝ But at the end of the day I’m still the bad guy . ❞ ❝ Everything used to be so simple … we had a beginning , a middle , & an end . ❞ ❝ When we suffer , we do it in silence . ❞ ❝ You should worry about your own fucking situation . ❞ ❝ I’ve made mistakes . ❞ ❝ You do what you want … you always do what you want . ❞ ❝ I’m glad you’re not dead . ❞ ❝ We need to do things the right way ! ❞ ❝ You’ll pray to any god who’ll listen that your mother never shit you into this fucking world .❞ ❝ Wait a minute … someone’s watching . ❞ ❝ I know it’s dangerous , but I’m not helpless . I can take care of myself . ❞ ❝ Not now , not now , shhhh , the grown ups are talking. . ❞ ❝ Out of my way ! I’ll show you how it’s done ! ❞ ❝ Do you want the Big Bad Wolf to take you away ? ❞ ❝ That was about 8 on the asshole scale … ❞ ❝ Cut the bullshit & quit wasting my time . ❞ ❝ This was really the wrong day to try & pull this shit ! ❞ ❝ You’re a monster ! A fucking monster ! ❞ ❝ You understand wanting to protect what you care about , don’t you ? You’d do anything . ❞
The real daddy of Riverdale is Skeet.
”Controlled Burns” by Kevin Cooley
“You think you know death, but you don’t. Not until you’ve seen it, ’til you’ve really seen it. It gets under your skin and lives inside you. There’s nothing you can do. Nothing.”
— - Cook. Rise, part two. (via hxwlett)
sorry this is all i can do tonight. feel like i’m trying to get sick and also a sleeping pill from yesterday is making me feel gross on top of this so i’m like ??? fgdflgjd im goin back to bed
empyream:
Accepting the identification cards with a curious sort of eagerness, ah’Jhyen smoothed their thumb over the plastic——looking at the handiwork of each card individually. It was weird, to finally have some semblance of proof; that they actually now existed within the modern-day system. It was left them a tinge bittersweet, knowing that it was built upon deception, but that was something they also knew they had little choice other than to accept. ‘Twas not as though they could waltz into any government-owned building and announced themself to be an alien (at least, not from what they knew).
❝Thank you. I’ll keep good track of them.❞ Pulling their shoulder bag up from by their feet, they set it onto their lap and fetched from its contents their wallet. Placing the license and identification cards into the transparent slots, they were just about ready to drop the bag back down ‘fore came Miles’ question. Instantly, they nodded and met his gaze with own smile painted wide across their lips.
❝Yes, please! No good having you go through the hassle of getting me a license,❞ and teaching them to drive, ❝if I never use it.❞ Already they were unbuckling their seatbelt, one hand readied on the door handle to let them slip out the side and go around. Since having joined up with the other, they found themselves more liberated than expected; never, after all, did they expect to have identification——or be capable of maneuvering one of these vehicles!
The grin on Miles’ scarred features only widens with ah’Jhyen’s enthusiasm. He nodded, “come on then,” and climbed out of the vehicle. As they passed by crossing at the hood of the van, he clapped a hand on their shoulder, and kept going. He settled into the passenger seat, buckling in.
“It’s all yours,” he said, reaching into the back, behind the seats where it was full of stuff he kept for travel, beside the mattress they shared as needed. It contained snacks, a quick change of clothes so they didn’t have to get in the suitcases open, a cooler full of water and soda, and of course: a small ammo box full of old cassettes, something he’d been collecting for a long time.
He pulled the ammo box up onto his lap, popped it open as ah’Jhyen took the wheel. He started picking through the old cassettes slowly. “So what do we want to listen to today?” He asked, glancing sidelong at them.
“who the hell did this to you?” (ง'̀-'́)ง
hurt meme ( always accepting! )
Instead of their usual meet ups—somewhere with coffee or booze—it was a shitty hotel room, because Miles was beyond paranoid when out in the open. Though, technically, he supposed that coffee and booze were both present in his room. Alcohol was seemingly the best cure for the nightmares, but—most days he couldn’t sleep at all.
That day was one of them, where he cradled one of those cups of coffee in his hands. Sitting the cup down, he picked nervously at the scars where one of his fingers had been removed, dark eyes, the same color of his coffee, glancing down for a moment. It took a little bit before he answered, or even looked back up. Eye contact was sometimes difficult, even with those he had considered a friend before Murkoff’s sick experiments took him apart.
“Murkoff. I went into the asylum they opened here in the US, and it—It was actually hell. The things they were doing. There was a riot and all of the patients got free. One of them did this,” he said, holding both of his hands up to display his missing fingers. They trembled. “The rest was… something else.”
The walrider, his mind screams. But he doesn’t say a word of it, not yet, wrapping his arms around himself now. He didn’t know how to bring it up in a way that made sense. A swarm of nanites in the vague shape of a man, controlled by a patient through dreams? Sure. But maybe she had seen similar weaponry through SHIELD. Miles closed his eyes briefly, steeling himself. “They were weaponizing mental illness in there.”
“It scares me sometimes, the emptiness I see in my eyes.”
— The Wonder Years (via ironmxde)
hurt meme.
“ i got you. it’s gonna be okay, you’re going to be okay.”
“i feel like everyone’s miles away from me.”
“my mind is a dark place. you don’t want to be there.”
“i know this hurts, but you have to stay awake.”
“don’t close your eyes, please don’t close your eyes!”
“i just want to be numb, i don’t want to feel anything.”
“please don’t do this, don’t act like you care.”
“you don’t care, nobody cares, just leave.”
“you’re my friend, of course i fucking care.”
“i can’t give up on you, so please don’t give up on yourself.”
“i love you so much, i forgot what hating myself felt like.”
“i fucked up, why do you not care?”
“i can’t walk, just go on without me.”
“you have broken ribs, take it easy.”
“i have no idea how to do cpr.”
“whose blood is that?”
“apply pressure to the wound, don’t let go.”
“don’t you dare fucking let go!”
“what the hell happened to you?”
“are they dead? did you kill them?”
“do you know what you’ve done?”
“you’re either with me or against me.”
“who the hell did this to you?”
“are you alright? you hit your head pretty hard…”
“i can’t see!! what’s happening to me?”
“when was the last time you ate?”
“what do you mean you’re fine? you are not fine!”
“i’m fine, it’s just a flesh wound, i’ll be okay.”
“for how long? how long were you bottling this up?“
“there’s so much blood, you won’t last.”
“are you… throwing up in there?”
“why aren’t you eating?”
“just breathe… you’re okay, i promise, just breathe.”
“i can’t breathe, i can’t –”
“i woke up, & you were gone.”
“just tell me something, was it really worth it?”
"it’s okay to hurt & breakdown. you don’t have to be strong all the time.”
“To forget the dead would be akin to killing them a second time.”
— Elie Wiesel, Night (via quotes-shape-us)
you are so much more than the wars you’ve won. (insp.)