I've saved the best for last! For me, at least ;) Why did Derdhel choose to become a Swordmaster? (Perhaps it was just a calling like the three before him and it's a moot question). However, although I know he is caring in his own way, it is also true that he seems "resigned", as Eleri puts it, and becoming a Swordmaster is a big decision that requires a lot of initiative and consistence.
Thank you so, so much for engaging with my questions. It has been very exciting to delve deeper into the Swordmasters' world, and a nice respite while waiting for the next book!
It’s a good question! The main reason is simply that Derdhel actually does care deeply about people and want to do what he can to help them, it’s just that he can have a very different viewpoint on what can be done.
He does believe that sometimes bad things happen and you just have to deal with that, but in many ways that’s the thing: you have to deal with the bad things that happen. Sometimes that does mean accepting that things are going to suck for a while and being upset won’t change that, but while there’s a large dose of fatalism in his worldview it doesn’t entirely mean just letting the world roll by. That’s part of why he’s willing to make tough and sometimes cruel-seeming decisions: he believes those are the best things to do and the fact that they’re hard and cruel doesn’t change that fact any more than wanting sun will make it stop raining. The same goes for his attitude to death - one day it’ll come, being worried about that won’t change anything, being upset when it comes for someone else won’t change anything, so you should just accept it. However, he doesn’t want people hurt and is generally trying to minimise suffering where he can (even if the way he does it doesn’t necessarily make sense from the outside). That was a major thing that drove him to join the Swordmasters: it was a way to do what he believes to be right and spend the time he has well, and that’s what he tries to do.
He doesn’t really fit in with them because he’s a purposefully dispassionate person among passionate people (not helped by the fact that he struggles socially anyway, which means he struggles to express these difficult issues clearly and to see other people’s perspectives), but he’s settled into the role of someone who can suggest the ugly possibility nobody else wants to contemplate because he’s coming from the perspective that sometimes the option you want simply isn’t there and/or flinching away from the ugly choice will make things worse in the long run.
I enjoy him. I hope he comes across well :P
Thank you for all your questions! It’s kept me on my toes and made me actually drill into some stuff I’d not really worked through before :P. I’m working slowly on the next book, still hoping for a rough draft by the end of the year, and in the meantime feel free to ask me anything else!