A s c e n d a n t

“ The moon’s l i g h t can bring you clarity and understanding and you should allow your i n t u i t i o n to guide you through this d a r k n e s s ”Estelle Jaqueline DuboisDon't let me close my eyes

[lcnaestclle-blog]

theninthcard‌:

“Eight is a lot,” she said, offering a smile and finding it was difficult to even attempt one. She was trying to think about swimming and not about Feiyan’s utter disappointment. “I don’t think I’ve been swimming even… three times. But I’ve been to the beach now. Azra helped me buy a swimsuit.”

But did any of that matter at all in the face of their failures? She glanced up at Jack, gauging the expression on her face as best she could. Everyone was hard to read but Jack was something else - Lailani has never met anyone else who seemed perpetually caught between the waking world and somewhere else entirely. Jack made it look different, though. Harder, clearer edges. A woman with a firm grasp of what was real, one she refused to let go of.

Are you okay? There was virtually no way for her to lie to Jack, when she was never good at it even with those who couldn’t see into her dreaming head. “It feels like we’re sinking,” she whispered. “I don’t know what to do, or if any of us can. Do anything, I mean.”

“I suppose to some it might be.” Jack concurred, “I always wondered what it might have been like to be one of those people that spent all of their time at the beach, you know? Sandy beach waves, permanent tan, never wore shoes. I never imagined those people every had much to worry about.” Normalcy. That was what she meant, somehow, beneath the ire of her words, she’s sure she hinted at it somehow. “She did?” Head canted and Jack casts doe hues over Lailani wondering what someone what so readily made themselves look small, would feel like in such an open..-- never ending space. “I’ll bet you rocked whatever suit she picked out.” The longer she looked, the worse she felt. While the moon could certainly look even the most fearsome person in the face without blinking, Jack could never seemingly do as much; too worried for what might be lurking beneath turning thoughts. She always did her best to avert her eyes one way or another, ironic, considering she’d never had issue with her words when they cut through and drew attention at even the most dire of moments. A soft laugh settles on her tongue as Lailani turns subtle conversation into the brightest red light she’d ever seen. Lips roll together and her laugh simmers into a lowly hum in her throat. “Doesn’t it always?” She couldn’t rightly remember a time when she felt buoyant, in any case. Though perhaps that was just her self depreciation haunting her again.  “Sometimes,” she starts, voice far more hushed than before, “Sometimes it feels like the others might be waiting for something more, like you or even me, should be able to do something more.” Insight into things most didn’t see was... a path to expectancy. “No offense, but I don’t think either of us have ever really known what the hell was going on. I don’t know about you but,” shoulders slumped as she reached to pull knees to her chest, “I’ve always felt a little lost when it comes to this place.. these people.”

[lcnaestclle-blog]

novamortem‌:

❝ plenty people in my life have tried to kill me.  it’d be a really shitty irony if i did their job for them. ❞

it’s true.  bullets and bombs.  war wasn’t subtle when it was trying to take your life.  ( and he has no doubt that she’s seen it.  those bloody battles in his dreams.  the deafening sounds, the prickle of constant adrenalin and a slice of ice cold fear through the heat of burning bodies - the only fuel to keep him alive ). and in so much as he is – death – life is one thing he does have a healthy respect for.  including his own.

❝ this is for… something else. ❞

he doesn’t quite know what yet.  or who.  but it’s something of a solid reassurance to the soldier.  perhaps that’s the reason he’d picked it up in the first place.  to deny the words that came to him from the shade.  to remind himself that whatever - war - might be coming, that he won’t run.  he will – fight.  with whatever means he can.  mortal or magic or otherwise.

he does know she’s lying. it’s a shame, he thinks… that even now, there’s some kind of need to keep things hidden.  especially now.  when there are forces at play attempting to tear them apart… a time that they need to join together to stand fast and hold.   it’s a shame, he thinks… that of all the people… she, who has seen some of his most intimate fears, the things that plague his nightmares, his hidden secrets… can’t find the freedom… or perhaps the trust… to simply confide in him. it’s a shame, he thinks… that perhaps… those nightmares are once again bleeding into reality.  a reality where he may have to act… may have to… kill…  a nightmare that she can’t soothe.

‘You expecting to find someone worth using that thing on up here?’

❝ maybe me.  other me.  few of us have seen… other selves. ❞

perhaps it would be a mercy in itself to place a bullet into the forlorn form of the shade.  he probably won’t though.  in so much as it had brought words to his ears that he didn’t particularly want to hear – the shade hadn’t been intent on any actual harm.  but it is the reason he’s up high - one wan eye on the perimeter, trying to find the flicker of flight that betrays the presence of his crow…

❝ and from what i can tell so far, they’re a bunch of bastards for the most part.  whether they’re actually ‘us’ or not, couldn’t say.  but they tend not to come with good news or anything kind to say. ❞

more like the third ghost from scrooge… in his case, quite accurately so.

❝ and… if that vision of fei was anything to go by, and the brat-cat says it wasn’t her, then… maybe these aren’t either. ❞

He couldn’t have known. Too much she’d kept to herself, too much that she never told anyone spanning years, all while she delved the depths of dreams not her own for fear of what she saw within the realms of things she couldn’t change, let alone look away from. “Irony seems to be a heavy hitter around here right now, so.. don’t speak too soon.” The very notion that surpassed an offhanded joke when tethered to the alarming image her clone had created within her own dream. Alarming in itself, that something beyond her control could alter even the most gut wrenching memories Jack ever thought to torture herself with beyond reality; even still that it could be made even worse. “That’s.. not ominous at all.” Effort to play it off might have been easier had she ever thought to try her hand at convincing herself before anyone else. Alas, she’d long since settled for speaking without conviction, the recess of coy sarcasm seemingly much easier to swallow.

She knows, however, that he’s certainly not wrong and if there’s truly something else, she already knows that she trusts him more than she’d find a way to convey so readily. Hard not to trust someone who’s nightmares are almost more comfortable than their own.

Truthfully, Jack knows the desperate lump that forms in her throat when she needs to say something, can’t bare to keep it to herself, but voicing such thoughts once had her deemed out of her mind by the people she loved. Granted --- she was a little, in the literal sense rather. Perhaps she knows how silly it’d would all sound, perhaps she’s vibrantly aware of how irrational her fears are. Or, better yet, perhaps she’s now questioning everything in lieu of the path less traveled shown to her by the mirror image within her dream --- nightmare?

“I know.” It seems to be all hidden within the whispers of the lair; ghastly figures that are so eerily alike their very selves. A little skewed, more aware even. Lithe fingertips push her hair back across her shoulder and her arms move to tighten around herself for warmth, or feeling, she can’t tell which. “You think that’d work? On them, I mean. You think it’d be that easy? A bullet and they’re gone?” She couldn’t rightly believed as much, but maybe he simply needed to hold onto something that felt familiar. They tend not to come with good news or anything kind to say. A rough pill to swallow, yet somehow she knew that finding Aeron this time around wouldn’t bring the comfort it so usually did. Too little within the lair held as much warmth in it’s grasp with the coming intricacies of Fei’s disappearance. “Stop.” Brow knit heavily, a painful thought crossing her mind at his words. Maybe these aren’t either. That was too much to comprehend; these.. other selves, manifesting too often like the magic they knew, the image of Fei that’d crossed their meeting and all those that’d woven their way into the lives of those within the lair, all somewhat tangible. Yet, hers had manifested itself within her dreams, become the one thing she couldn’t control in a world that was entirely her own. “I can’t..-- If they’re not us, then I can’t think of them as something else, Aeron. Something else is too much.” Such a notion left her with nowhere to go --- nowhere to hide, not even her dreamscapes. “I need this to be over,” she’s sure they all do, “I’ve never missed my shitty third floor walk up more than I do right now.” 

[lcnaestclle-blog]

date: 14th june; late location: kitchen OPEN

It’s later than usual and the house fell silent much sooner than it ever had before, then again, it seemed to do that a lot lately. The eerie corridors of the lair a little more unwelcoming as time seemed to slip between their fingers and beyond all of that, Jack couldn’t help but sneer over the idea of Balfour skimping about in the dark just as she.  Usually, she might have broached the world outside, but even that seemed lackluster and without the taste of relief within such a notion, so she’d flt --- from room to room, like moth seeking a flame. Anything or anyone to draw her beyond the encasement of thought that didn’t stop spinning. You’re failing. You’re failing. You’re failing. She’d known that for months, longer even. Before the stretch of tangibility offered her the possibility of control in the shape of a woman who now only seemed to appear as a broken image; though even she knew it hadn’t been Fei. No matter how many times Jack had let go of things within her dreams, other peoples dreams -- pushed the precipice of reality and imagination beyond what she ever should have; Feiyan had never thought to say anything so scathing as what Jack told herself.  It was a void nothing could fill, perhaps the others had yet to realize such, but with yearning hours of night looming, clawing at her like talons begging to dig into the flesh of her shoulders, lithe digits burned open the cupboards until she could so readily sink a spoon into a jar of peanut butter baring seconds before another shadow slipped into the kitchen with her. She settled in, perched the edge of the counter, a pantry thief in the night and a pause --- the shadow, all those she’d seen, lingering, waiting... pawing for opportune moment; and such anticipation for what she might see is gone and replaced with a full figure in the night. “Someone ate all the peanut butter,” she muttered, half a mouthful in as the spoon dug into said jar in question for a second time, mindlessly ignoring the blatant lie as she curled her hand tighter around it. “I wish I could blame this midnight eating shit on the munchies.”

[lcnaestclle-blog]

suvaris‌:

DATE: July 6th, late afternoon. LOCATION: The garden @ anyone

Everything looked the same as it had over two weeks ago, sun-drenched and exploding with life with no parallel on earth. The most beautiful place she’d ever seen with one notable exception: the jagged ridge of solid rock that ripped through the center of the otherwise serene garden, a great scar of brown and grey amid a sea of dazzling, endless color. This was the first time Azra dared visit the place since she spoke to the monster with her face. She feared if she returned on her own, it would appear again, violent and angry with intentions of making her suffer for her misstep. 

Azra stood on the edge of the garden, shoulders lifted tensely as she held her breath and waited for an ambush that never happened. Time ticked on but nothing appeared, and so her shoulders dropped and she tentatively stepped closer to the ridge of sharp rocks. Where she managed to mostly repair the damage she did to the lair itself, she couldn’t bring herself to fix this too, and so it remained, a permanent, ugly monument to her own cowardice. She deserved it, in her mind.

Hesitantly, she reached towards the wall and brushed the top ridge of a lower portion with her fingertips. Sharp and rocky, nothing unusual save its very sudden appearance. The last time she was here, frost licked the top in spindly white patterns, and the cold air stung with every inhale. Now with the temperature in the mid-90s and DC’s natural humidity, the rocks felt hot to the touch, sun-warmed and absent of any evidence of their frigid beginnings.

A sound behind her caught her attention and she whirled, ready to bolt, only to recognize the approaching figure. “You scared me,” she said, her voice weaker than she would have liked.

The unsettled nature of Azra’s voice alone blooms ire in her chest and it’s not fair on her part, that much she’s entirely aware of, yet still it thrives and some semblance of hope for normality and a conversation that might live well beyond the realms of whatever the fuck was happening around here died on her tongue. “I barely even did anything, but it’s good to see there’s someone else on edge around here.” It fell bitterly against her lips, Jack’s momentary dry humor as the obvious state of everyone’s temporary edge was all the more obvious with sarcasm living within he concave of her chest. “That rock isn’t gonna’ reach out and caress you back, Az and if you keep it up you’re gonna scare the fucking plants and then Evelyn is gonna’ throw a fit too.” All entirely exaggerated and beyond the realms of reality; then again, such a thing was her forte’ but it fed into the desire to ease the constriction in her throat. Only somewhat working.  “What’re you doing out here?” As if any of them didn’t have the right to do anything within the grasp of choice, it’d seemed like a better question than asking what it was she’d been doing in the first place. Jack had some idea, but not enough to ask for more details. There was comfort in ignorance, or so she’d long since convinced herself, even before she’d been brought here by Feiyan. “Sorry.” It fell without thought, her harsh demeanor a risk of her own unsettled tendencies, “You know, I’d really thought I could blame snapping on like.. eating something bad or something like that, but..-- I’ve got nothing. I’m a dick and I really didn’t meant to startle you.” 

[lcnaestclle-blog]

theninthcard‌:

we’re living in the currents you create when & where: july 4th, 9:14pm, pool open

Only one thing had made sense to her all day, and that was Balfour’s snarled denouncement of the Feiyan they had all seen at the meeting. Lailani had spent the rest of the afternoon restlessly drifting from place to place, her fingers twisting her sleeves to bits as it played out again and again in her mind. Even at their worst, Feiyan had never outright told any of the Councilors they were failures… It just wasn’t her style.

Though it had been months since her disappearance, and they had accomplished… nothing. Couldn’t even decide on a new leader, if any, an issue which grew more worrying by the moment now that it was apparent someone - something? - was out there trying too tempt them all to… The Ancients only knew what.

She wound up beside the pool, thinking the gentle sloshing of the water would calm her nerves. Just the opposite; every errant sound or reflection off the ripples made her teeth chatter. She stayed anyway. Footsteps nearby nearly sent her crashing into the water. She yanked her sweater tighter around herself, turning to greet the newcomer, desperately hoping the only reflection she would see in this room was the jumbled one in the water. 

“It’s just me.” As if any sense of her voice, a woman who did her best to keep to herself, to keep quiet and forgettable beyond any momentary second spend beyond council meetings. She’s brash and bold and cutthroat when she has something to say within the confines of that room, the churning of her gut has never led her astray, but not everyone is so appreciative of a boldened tongue. Jack learnt that the hard way. She doesn’t like the smell of the chemical within the water so she doesn’t swim and really, she’s not entirely sure what’s brought her here of all places, but it’s happened and it’s very clear she’s not getting away silently as Lailani almost hurtles head first into the water, “Sorry I..--- are you okay? That was,” sad.. --- it was sad that they could be so caught up in their own thoughts beyond being in a place with a dozen other people, and still shocked when so readily drawn from it.  “You know, I think I’ve been swimming eight times in my whole life.” It’s nonchalant and borderline irrelevant, but the scintillation of light across the stone as light reflected the water itself somehow made it pertinent to point out. “Hated it, by the way --- me and buoyancy? Not a thing. I sink like a rock.” 

[lcnaestclle-blog]

novamortem‌:

Location: Lair - The roof With:  OPEN STARTER - @ anyone  tw: firearms/gun

he’s made his way up to the roof of the lair…  a vantage point from which to keep watch ( for that damned evasive crow ).  though the message from the shade had been clear - it wasn’t necessarily ‘outward’ that he should be looking.  whatever was coming their way wouldn’t corrupt from beyond, but from within… 

…in which they were suddenly their own worst enemy.   not all.  not each individual… but some… the potential to succumb to temptation.  to whispered promises - or lies…  to glean a glimpse of things that could be - corrupt power - if they just took that step over an invisible, intangible line.

he’s still looking for the crow.  wondering if it was still there - trapped in a hellish limbo of a torn and blooded future, but thrown into the past to watch as mistakes were repeated.  perhaps he’d been angry, frustrated, perhaps throwing the lamp at the damn thing ( at the haunted version of himself ) might have been the best option.  but he hadn’t been able to bring himself to violence toward those hollow eyes… the eyes of death who had – once again – held the bodies of the dying and the dead…  who was so familiar with that violence that he’d used it… in ways he can barely fathom right now.

however.  there is something in his possession currently that he hasn’t picked up for… some time.  something he’d sorely hoped never to pick up again.  a solution to a problem that hadn’t presented yet.  a scythe in the hand of the reaper that walked among them.  – a gun.  and while the soldier in him is both careful and competent… the human in him knows the complexity of physical ease and moral difficulty that pulling a trigger presents.  does he - once again - steep his hands in blood so they don’t have to…?

after all.  magic was one thing. but those who wielded it were still distinctly human and very, very mortal.

it’s… just in case.  right? it’s a precaution. it’s entirely possible that he’s playing into the self same purported ‘future’ that his crow had foretold… by picking this up, events are set into motion - he’s already making choices that… he doesn’t want to have to make.

the problem is – he doesn’t quite know who he’s trying to protect… from who… or… what.

so for now - the gun idles in his hand ( with no actual intent, it’s simply… there ) as he tries to think his way through an impossible fog of unknowns.  safety on.  but loaded, oiled, ready… 

just.  in.  case.

it’s not until he hears a scuff behind him that he’s half turning, a question already in his eyes, no hesitation on his lips… always to the point.

❝ what did you see? ❞

because, after lani’s vision… and then his own ‘encounter’, with everyone jumping at shadows… he’s damn sure he’s not the only one… 

Oftentimes, it takes some heavy reminding that she didn’t own the monopoly on the space beyond the highest windows, teetering the edge of the roof whether she bathed in the moonlight above or begged for it to come sooner. A reminder that always seemed to come with a flash of hot anger at the sight of anyone else finding purchase in what might have been her only safe haven here. Too many times, she’d bitten her tongue in the quiet quell of such anger; nobody needed to be on the tail end of such unwarranted fire that burnt within her chest for all too little, but much too brightly for any one specific reason. It was perhaps why she simply didn’t --- ever, fly off the handle. There was never an explanation, and the only one she could ever find was one she never wanted to bring to light

It’s a rough sigh, noncommittal and etched to no forcible sense of annoyance, one that blooms and dies within the same breath as she breaches the edge of the windowsil and climbs out as if she’s done it a thousand times before --- a number which would only regard her visits to the rooftop in the past two weeks alone. She can breathe again, the evening air enough to spur the reminder that her time is soon; it’s always soon. She never has to wait long, but gods if the days don’t feel like eons.  She’s rattled; shaken from Balfour’s denunciation of the Feiyan that’d seemingly returned to them, it’s the tricks and the lies that promise to unfold beyond the possibility of such illusion; where others might have found shock in the things this Fei had spoken, it was only ever what Jack heard in her mind. Failure.  Golden locks are the only reprieve, at least she knows he won’t pry; though perhaps it isn’t his turn to ask questions as the glint of silver beckons her forward, Jack pausing atop the shingles of the roof in mild awe as realization drags itself across her spine. “--- Unless you’re about to put a bullet between my eyes.. or even your own..--- Nothing, I haven’t seen anything.” It’s a lie, she’s always lying; she sees more than she ever lets on and even despite her denial, Aeron knows that. “You expecting to find someone worth using that thing on up here?”

[haleyjames]

Inbar Lavi photographed by Erica Kiara (2019)

[lcnaestclle-blog]

starredjonah‌:

“Understatement.” Jonah huffed a breath through his nose as he shook his head. “It didn’t take long for everyone to start up.”

He mimicked an explosion before he settled his hands on his lap. It wasn’t a surprise to him. Instances such as the one just hours ago seemed frequent. People with power always sparked against other people of power. The world would be boring if they didn’t, he realized, but he was fine with boring. At times. He considered Jack from the corner of his eye as she crossed the room to sit beside him. It was nighttime, their time, and still it seemed they couldn’t quite settle. The dreams that might follow what happened…He couldn’t imagine it, could barely even begin to consider it, but he could surmise that they wouldn’t be anywhere close to good. At her question, he sat up by a hair.

“Somewhere alive, for one.” 

The evidence, or lack thereof, pointed him to that conclusion. There wasn’t a body. The feelings he had for Feiyan were mixed, but she had taught him to navigate storms. One named Jonah and the other that he held in his palms. She wasn’t gone-gone. Or she was. Maybe she lost her faith. His eyes shifted to the open window before he leaned against it and took in a deep, stabilizing breath. Raindrops bled together before they split to create their own pathways. When he signed, it was with harsh movements.

“Maybe she got tired of us and wanted to go somewhere else. Can she create her own worlds? She’s there and watching us all shit ourselves here. I hope it’s a good view.”

It wasn’t a happy answer in spite of his slightly amused expression. The hum in his throat was bitter before he swallowed it. His expression softened as he looked at Jack. His hands slowed. Calmed to match the drizzle of rain.

“Do you think she’s gone?”

Lips pursed tightly at such sentiment, truthfully, how anyone could expect a room filled with starkly different people to agree on something to detrimental to the world around them should they get it wrong. It felt something akin to asking children to pull rank and despite every attempt she could make to sound as much of her own reasoning within any council wide conversation, she seemed to leave them feeling much smaller than she already did. “It hardly seems like it’s going to do anyone any good.” The feeling within the Lair alone thicker than usual and the energy it’d taken from her only left her in fear of what she might find if she fell asleep too early.  “You don’t think she’s dead then?” No, she didn’t either. She supposed, somehow, Jack believed they’d feel it. They’d have to feel it, right? Those charged with keeping the balance would have to feel the shift if Fei --- the world had died? The unruly brunette not certain she wanted to think about it too deeply.  There was never an ounce of discomfort within this kind of silence, very rarely did she ever find a place with another being that could so readily be surrounded by little more than the storm outside and the moon above without feeling the near constant knot between her shoulders loosen; she owed to much to Jonah and their third counterpart to ever feel something so fickle. A softened smile tugged gently at her lips as she watched the rain drops trail the glass before them. How she could so readily envy how beautiful it could be, how he could control it so readily.  The bitter laugh that met her tongue short lived with a deep set frown, like he’d been reading her mind or something. “I wouldn’t be so entirely shocked if that was exactly what she’d done. We’re a fucking mess.” She’d signed back, a little slower than he, a little less irritated perhaps.  “I think if we don’t figure this out, she will be.” A terrifying thought, but she’d always been quick to look at the negatives of any such situation, the brightness of hope stamped out of her a long time ago. “Does that scare you as much as it does me?” Everything Fei had taught her, everything about her powers she’d dredged up, left for her to bury once again if they never saw the woman again. 

[lcnaestclle-blog]

novamortem‌:

❝ har-dee-har. ❞

a sarcastic retort as he  plops his head over the edge of the blanket.  pretty much just resigned to his fate now - being seen and laughed at by just about every council member.  a small wriggle and he manages to sit upright, little blue eyes would roll in his head if they actually moved that way, but instead he just blinks a few times…  he’s waiting to see if there’s anything – off.  anything – wrong.  because pretty much everyone so far had been hit by some kind of ‘magical backfire brick’.

❝ just fyi - so do i. ❞

he doesn’t want to explain - why - he got stuck in this form.  an attempt to cheer up mitch ( by mocking their most recent addition - arsehole cat that it was ) which had gone badly sideways.  and a kitten certainly wasn’t one of his ‘go-to’ shapes.  being small and seemingly irresistible to petting hands.  at least a dog would be able to see over a small step.  the stairs in the lair were a little problematic to super short legs, even with claws.

❝ and they don’t go batshit crazy for catnip either…  don’t ask. ❞

but he lets her have her moment.  and honestly – it’s good, real good to see her smile.  he’ll take it, even at his own expense - to see something like that blossom on her face.  

❝ c’mon.  sit… have a laugh - get it all out of your system. ❞

a small tilt of his head and he motions to a space next to him tail twitching slightly as he settles.  he can’t imagine this is a chance visit… most of their time together often spent in quiet company, or during the hours when he’s actually asleep.  it’s only in these rare waking moments when he feels as though he has the chance to return the favour.  so he does - broach the subject carefully.  it’s not an outright ask, more of a simple suggestion.  a gentle nudge.  if she wanted to tell him about anything that might have happened, then he’d like to at least present the opportunity.  and for all he’s stuck in a rather diminutive form right now, he’s still perfectly fine - he’s also more than aware that a backfire of some of the other powers might not be as kind.

❝ seems like everyone is having some kind of… issue… with their magic at the moment. pretty sure mitch landed us somewhere in the desert earlier on and – i haven’t seen him since he dropped me back… i don’t suppose you have?? ❞

because he’s worried about the kid.  hell, he’s worried about all of them.  

❝ and… well, you can see my problem… ❞

but you couldn’t see hers… or even if there was one.  there was nothing physically manifest.  no changing shape, or zipping from one location to the next.  he doesn’t know if she’s glitching too… but if it was happening to more than one of them, there was every possibility…

❝ …things have gone… slightly awry… ❞

another gentle prompt and then silence.  and apparently it’s very possible for a kitten to look attentive.

There was something intrinsically odd about seeing him in another form, at least here, in this expanse of reality. It was effortlessly comical, and she thought that perhaps this was well beyond the realms of reality until she’d heard his voice again. “I thought you might like that one, but really..-- this is a good look for you. Nothing says terrifying like a tiny, warm bellied kitten. You should consider making the change .. well..-- permanent.” Then again, she’d truly had no idea that in this very moment, it was. 

She wouldn’t ask, mostly because she fucking hated being asked when things simply.. didn’t go as they should have. It didn’t make sense to push something as such onto him when he’d done all he could to learn such a boundary with her too. A common agreement, never spoken out loud. Among a great many other things that surpassed between them. “Catnip?” Her nose turned up momentarily, features falling as she rolled her lips together to suppress the blooming laugh within her chest, “I don’t think I wanna’ know, so you’re safe, for now.”

There was hesitancy, almost a moment too long, whirlwind thoughts making it all too difficult to let go of the reminder that all too many nights she’d relieved him the horror of his dreams, turned the sound down or forced the sun a little brighter he’d stirred restlessly right here. And then the thought was gone, because she fucking hated lingering, Jack shifting from the floor to crawl up onto his bed, curling in on herself as she always did, legs tucked tightly in against her chest. “You know, you could give Balfour a run for his money like this. I’m not going to lie, that cat is giving me a damn headache. How scrappy do you think a fight with him like this would be? Think you could knock him from his scratch post.”  “Wait..- you weren’t in the desert like this were you?” A wild thought, one which stirred all the more amusement out of her as she rested her chin in the crook of her knees. Easier to think of something just as absurd as everything else going on than the fact that he’d pointed out what she’d been desperately trying to avoid. Though, if she’d ever learnt anything in this place, it was that avoidance never worked for her. “I haven’t seem him, how long since he dropped you back?” The last real conversation she’d had with Mitch, he’d been quite literally in the middle of packing his bags with the intention to leave altogether. She wouldn’t so readily admit that she worried about him, but she did. How such a sight could so easily remind her of how desperately she’d once wanted out but had never had the guts to do it, “I’ll keep an eye out for him. Should I tell him there’s a kitten looking for him or...?”

Now it made sense, his problem; he couldn’t change back. Jack, under absolutely no impression that he’d so willingly remain this way for any lengthy amount of time, and surely not under the pressing mock nature of those around him. “Nothing’s working, huh?”  Slightly awry was certainly one way to put it, everyone she came too near felt the heavy onset of sleep, herself included and she was left with little more to do than ride out the brazen dreams that seemed all the more brighter and louder than usual; as if someone had taken away her ability to shift and change things at will. “Just.. promise you’ll tell me if you start getting tired and I’ll leave.”

[lcnaestclle-blog]

suvaris‌:

Both dim light and distraction hid the other’s expression, and so Azra was none the wiser to it when she finally made herself comfortable next to her fellow councilor. She stretched her legs out in front of herself, places the scone and napkin on her lap and braced her hands on the roof to keep herself upright, eyes on her feet as she moved them back and forth idly for a moment before she stilled. “Look, I’m usually pretty graceful,” she said, tipping her head slightly to look at Jack with raised eyebrows, “But I’m not built for… climbing out of windows and perching on rooftops like Batman or something.”

A huff of a laugh pushed from her lips and she opened her mouth to argue. She was twenty eight, that shouldn’t qualify her for a mid-life crisis, but one thought as to their current situation sobered her, and the smile and laugh evaporated, leaving Azra with a brief, distraught expression before she schooled it away to something more neutral. There was a good chance this was a mid-life crisis, wasn’t it? Late-life? Was this the start of the end of their lives? The idea made her skin crawl and her chest seize, but years of keeping her darkest thoughts to herself allowed her the grace not to show it. “Nah, I just don’t sleep well. I don’t remember the last time in my life where I slept all the way through the night,” she explained, her gaze now drawn to the slightly crumbling scone in her lap. She picked at a corner with one hand, but didn’t move to eat any more of it. “I don’t like just… laying awake in bed, so I read or I bake or walk around.”

For a few minutes, silence stretched–despite Azra’s proclivity for filling it to keep herself from feeling uncomfortable with the lack of even idle conversation, she was momentarily content to simply watch the stars in the sky or the way the a breeze toyed with the new leaves atop the trees around the Lair. After a while, she looked to Jack again. “Do you ever wonder where you’d be? Like, if Fei didn’t find you? What you’d be doing?”

She could bristle a laugh at that one. Jack supposed there weren’t a great many people built for climbing out of windows, not unless they’d spent so much of their own childhood doing just that. At least this lifetime she had, those before seemed so detached, a story told in a voice that she simply couldn’t cling to, that perhaps she’d once been told about but couldn’t quite pinpoint beyond Fei’s own passing comments. “I suppose not,” It went hand in hand with one of the many reasons she came out here in the first place, she was almost always guaranteed a moment alone. Any semblance of conversational skill had certainly never been her forte’ and more often than not the presence of any other left her feeling less than comfortable, but something about the glowing moon peaking through clouds was more than enough to comfort her now.

Azra was well and truly preaching to the choir and Jack wasn’t even entirely sure if she’d realized as much. There was no doubt, that among those within the Lair there was a fleeting concern for something as simple as a good night’s sleep. Broken hours was all she’d ever managed, little more than a nap here and there unless she’d been with Fei, traipsing through dream scapes in some effort to find a way for her to accept what she could do. It might have even worried someone to see the listless amount of alarm clocks she had in her suite. “I get that,” She stated rather roughly, fingertips toying with the piece of charcoal she’d laid to rest moments before, watching it coat what might have been left of her skin tone with the blackened powder. “Probably nobody in this place that gets that better than I do..”  For a passing moment, she was almost certain that Azra would soon leave and whatever relief she might have felt in the idea alone was ripped right out from under her with the premise of a thought she’d certainly pondered on far too often to admit to. “Same thing I was doing when she found me, probably. Working at the casino, pretending none of this was real.” Living her life in the depth of night, ironically enough it wasn’t all too different to what she was doing now, but something about it felt a little less ---- constructed. “I don’t really like change,” she’d admit rather brazenly, “doesn’t really work all too well for me whenever it happens. Even coming here threw me for six for a while.” She could have easily left it at that, but she’d known that wasn’t truly how conversation ever really.. progressed, if that’s what the other was looking for at least. “What about you?”

[shannafisher]

From my shoot with the stunning Inbar Lavi

[lcnaestclle-blog]

theninthcard‌:

lethargy got ahold of me / and i don’t know how to shake it when & where: may 15th, late in the evening, second floor kitchen closed to @lcnaestclle

The world turned over and over on itself, never settling long enough for Lailani to get used to the new function of magic. Even with her hands kept to herself, she saw. Even with her eyes squeezed tight, she saw. Vivid splashes of past and future vied for attention no matter where she went or what she did.

Food had seemed like a good idea mere minutes ago. Dizzying visions or not, she had to sustain herself, didn’t she? So she made it to a kitchen and simply ignored its shifting layout as much as she could while she used her sweater-gloved hands to paw something out of a pantry. Pears and a bag of almonds ended up on the counter in front of her. She reached for a knife, then quickly yanked her hand back when it shimmered two feet away and back again. Maybe not the greatest idea, that.

She took her motley meal to the table and as soon as she sat down, the room spun in a polychromatic (or perhaps poly-chrono-tic was more applicable) swirl that twisted her guts. She deepened her breathing as much as she could, closing her eyes to fight the illness off. 

Someone joined her in the room and she took another breath before looking up. She found a young girl with inquisitive eyes. In a blink the child was gone, replaced by Jack, though she shivered back and forth like a flame. “You’re up early,” she said by way of greeting. “Though, actually, I don’t know when we are right now.”

It was a cold shift in the air that dragged across her spine that she couldn’t seem to shake, something reaching up from the depths of her own subconscious that she clung to. Something that seemed to hold her accountable in the hours that ticked over since she’d last closed her eyes. Wrought memories of dreams might brighter and louder than they usually we’re, neither her own nor something she’d simply conjured up in the minds of those she’d come across since she’d been so violently jarred awake in the aftermath of their first meeting with Balfour. The halls not nearly as quiet as they usually were when she woke on the break of evening, Jack, for as long as she could remember had avoided the hustle and bustle of the days within the Lair. Through no fault of anyone elses, of course, her own distaste for what she could find in the depth of night if she ever found sleep with those around her lived long and hard as her greatest insecurity.  What she hadn’t expected was to find another rifling through the pantry when she finally made it through the chilled halls to the kitchen, but even so, she didn’t make her presence known as she watched carefully as Lailani seemed to reel from something shifting inside her head; a feeling she knew all too well. A soft smile graced porcelain features and she stepped a little further into the room, hand curling around the back of one of the many chairs, “I mean, it’s almost ten at night, but I guess, for me that’s early.” She’d concede, and while she usually might have ignored the heavy feeling in the air, Jack chewed at the inside of her cheek a little longer before brows pulled together tightly.  “Are you okay, Lani?” A bit of a generic question around here lately, but she was never too great at the whole, comfort thing, nor prying for that matter. 

[lcnaestclle-blog]

novamortem‌:

❝ mmh… there’s a difference between quitting outright and making an informed decision after gauging a situation as impendingly fatal. ❞

and he’s used to that. the – gauging situations thing.  when there were IUDs crashing down around and you have to make sure that people actually survive.  there’s something to be said for a tactical retreat.  and it’s hard for him not to compare situations to those past experiences.  even something as inert as this.  a playful challenge - assessed with that bone deep military instinct.

❝ other people are easiest… then, probably anything with four limbs, mammals…  dogs, cats, cows, horses, – even a unicorn… it’s easier to go from two legs to four…  plus, with birds there’s the whole ‘aerodynamic’ thing… the complexities of actual flight…  angles and lift, currents and… well - it’s just… uh… more complicated. ❞

he wrinkles his nose slightly.  feet scuffing the surface of the roof.  he doesn’t look to the sky, or to the moon ( why would he, when he has a better moon sitting at his side ), just gazes into that depth below.  it’s possible he might survive.  it’s also possible that he’d end up as a rather large stain on the sidewalk.

❝ truth be told, the first time i attempted a bird, i managed to take off, fly into a bookshelf and give myself a minor concussion. ❞

he hadn’t realised the full extent of his capacity until feiyan had brought him here.  explained the intricacies of his particular brand of magic.  had encouraged him to explore to practice, to read about all the things he’d been able to do in the lives gone before.  without her, he’d still be lost…

but the topic takes a swerve and – true to his offer, he does listen.  lets the words sink in.  he finds that he quite likes the thought.  that they’re all pieces who could contribute to a puzzle… there’s a reason, after all, that the arcana comes as a set…  he’s also troubled by the same conflict too.  cooperation - not always easy.  hard to take a group and have everyone on an equal footing…  he is slightly surprised at those offered words though - as she’d made it quite clear that she didn’t want to talk about it, perhaps she just didn’t want to be cross-examined by a barrage of questions ( which seemed to be the approach by some ) - and he doesn’t blame her for that one bit…  it was hard enough to get your thoughts in order without having them jumbled and probed and… demanded… by others.

❝ maybe we do. ❞

three soft words in agreement.  but would they ever get to a place where those pieces could be assembled.  a scattered jigsaw of parts without a bigger picture.

❝ problem is, we just don’t know what those pieces might be. ❞

without a reference.  a starting point, something… anything… that might give them a hint… it was needle in a haystack time.   

there is - however - something of a wry grin as she accuses him of bragging.

❝ the world has a lot of coastline. ❞

he gives a quick shrug.  a vastly different space compared to here.  and not all of those seas were viewed as a tourist or traveller.  the waters at his feet, filling his boots, weighing him down, simply the sign of an encroachment to another battle.  has she ever seen them in his dreams? 

❝ maybe when this is all over, i’ll take you to see one for real…  a memory you can make for yourself, huh? ❞ 

“Strange to think there’s someone around here that can actually tell the difference.” Though, it certainly wasn’t fair to claim such, she knew that the council had a certain few that could, but for the most part, it simply seemed as though there were far too many willing to cross wires. All too often she witnessed lacking logical thought before swan diving into the heart of their own thoughts and beliefs without paying heed to what lay before them. Perhaps she was guilty of such thing too. Hues shifted across his form, unsure if she could truly comprehend him in any other light; the very notion that he could simply..-- change was something she’d really only seen in a place reality didn’t exist, and however briefly, she wondered if he’d ever struggled with prying the two apart like she did. “That’s insane.” Jack spoke lowly, “Do you ever just..-- get it wrong?” It didn’t offer much, not in the way of specifics, then again, she wasn’t certain there could be such specifics.. whether it just happened or whether it took more than the simplicity of thought. Something about it seemed, alluring, and she wondered whether any singular expanse of the blackened sky above would find her so transfixed if she could just; be something else. And then thought was gone with yet another passing sense of imagery of that drew her lips tight in quiet humor. “Maybe birds just aren’t your thing then. Stick to horses and unicorns, pony boy.”

it wasn’t quite a thought that she herself could hold much weight in, knowing that it would imply she held something within her own head that poised itself as a piece to the seemingly unsolvable puzzle of where Fei had gone. The notion alone absurd to her. Despite knowing how much of the truth could bleed out into dreams, there came a breed of difficulty picking one apart from the other. “I know.” The lithe shrug of her shoulders as she lent in to perch her chin on the very edge of her knees. “I know, it was just..-- if I said anything like that in there, nobody would have listened.. they’d look at me as if..--” As if she were out of her mind. An irrational thought, and she knew as much, but she’d been looked at in such a way far too often to swallow it back again. That and picking apart the mind of another or having their own picked at wasn’t exactly something she’d expect any of them to line up for all too soon. Not that she’d blame them.   “Maybe when this is all over.” She could repeat quietly, never having been all that much of an optimist, at least --- apparently not in this life. “I can never hear it. I think that’s what gets me.” the slight tilt of her head drew a lopsided gaze towards the blonde beside her, “I can see it, feel how it makes other people feel, but that’s kind of it. I don’t know what it sounds like, what the sand feels like between my toes, the smell of ocean air..” Teeth drew gently over her lesser lip, in some attempt to hold onto the doubtful edge of her own tongue. “You know I’m going to hold you to that.”

[gifs-n-shits]

[hvkate-a]

#angel

[haleyjames]

[lcnaestclle-blog]

novamortem‌:

[ open starter – aerons room, the lair ( just before the ‘backfire’ wears off ) ]

if people thought that balfour was the grumpiest feline in the lair currently, then they hadn’t encountered the miniature form of death as of late.  not only had he been zapped around the world by a glitchy-mitch, but he was also recovering from something of a catnip induced hangover-slash-comedown, courtesy of bree.  and his miniature kitten brain felt as though it had been through a blender.

worse still, the longer he was stuck like this - the more he seemed to be inclined to adopt the traits of the animal whose form he had taken.  about five minutes ago, he’d pounced on a pair of his own boots just to play with the laces.  which is why now - he’s settled on his own bed ( nested in a lump of duvet ), firmly away from any mind altering, trippy substances and anything that might be otherwise tempting to the more forcefully emerging kitten brain.

besides… standing at a stately six inches tall, and morbidly opposed to venturing out into the storm ( another thing he blames the ‘cat’ side of himself for ) - perhaps a temporary retreat was somewhat called for… at least until he can collect himself to maybe be of some vague use… 

but ears prick at a sound from the doorway and there’s something of a no nonsense voice from within the lump of bedding.

❝ do.  not.  pet.  me. ❞

Rattled didn’t quite cover it, watching as Dana succumbed to the pull of sleep in a way that certainly hadn’t been of her own doing, or perhaps it was and everything about the power she had was simply slipping beyond the reach of her own control; a seemingly rising occurrence from what she could tell as this point in time. It left her weary, the shear level of noise that’d assaulted her from beyond the other woman’s subconscious a dire reminder of why she so truly hated. Left with little choice but to intervene, it simply hadn’t played into her hand as it should have -- as it was meant to, and for that alone, she wasn’t entirely certain that she could even look Dana in the face for the time being.  Tirelessly, it stretched her thinner than usual, skipping through the dreams of others always did when she didn’t intend to. Without force of reason or want, it was the endless push and pull of her own choices that left her feeling wrecked as she left the infirmary in search of peace. 

It was only second thought that had her stopping a little further down from Aeron’s door. He’d said he’d listen, or at least -- he’d hinted at it, never quite offering such in an open manner, but it was something? Surely. Pulling taught the sleeves of her jacket, she curled fingers into the hem and tucked them into the palm of her hand as she knocked, waited a passing moment and pushed the door open a little further.  At first, she’d been so sure he wasn’t there. Not that she’d blame him for that. -- until she’d heard it, manicured brows furrowing sharply as she moved a little further, hesitant almost, hand lifting to her mouth to catch the fabric of her jacket between her teeth. It’s fitting -- and an intentional shift of demeanor that she’s sure something else had complete control over as she let the hem of her sleeve go to clamp the palm of her hand across her mouth to stifle the laugh that she simply couldn’t help. “--- Holy shit.”  All sense of Jack’s fleeting uncertainty gone for the melodic sound that blossomed brightly. “I know I’ve called you a pussy one too many times for it to even be fair but this..-- this is..” Still, she pressed closer, dropping to kneel on the floor a little way short of the bed. “You weren’t kidding about the whole, four legged thing, huh? I always preferred dogs, just FYI.”