Love Impaired

[lcveimpaiired]

After running all the way back to her hotel room, Cherry had allowed herself a good and lengthy cry in the shower. Then she had allowed herself a not so good cry on the floor of the bathroom until she was too tired and too numb to properly feel the crushing weight on her shoulders or the way her heart felt like it was being ripped right out of her chest. And finally, after all of that, the cheerleader picked herself back up just to start crying all over again the moment she fell onto the hotel bed. It took an hour, maybe more, for her to finally run out of the energy and hydration that would have been required to keep up with her raging emotions. Exhausted in every way a body or soul could be, Cherry changed into her silk slip and its matching robe. All of her friends were out celebrating but she doubted any of them would ask why she was staying behind.

She nearly ripped the phone stand from the desk from how harshly she grabbed handle, fingers angrily smashing in her father’s number. Oh, and there was nothing calm about the way she laid into him the moment he picked up! Cherry - quiet, soft-spoken, dutiful daughter Cherry - was just yelling into the speaker, viciously angry. What did it matter if anyone out in the hallway heard? What else could they learn about her that hadn’t already been aired out in the lobby earlier? She paced angrily about the floor, listening to her old man grovel and simper. “God, Dad, I hope you’re happy!” She spat back incredulously, tired of the ‘I’m only looking out for you’ routine. “It takes a real great man - a real godly guy - to just railroad his daughter’s feelings like that and literally force a drug addict to relapse! Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you? Where’s your shame, huh?”

She was still tearing into the older man when she first heard the knock on her door. At first, she tried to ignore it. Some of her friends and teammates had been stopping by here and there to see if she was okay after everything, she just assumed it was more of the same. “Dad - Dad, hold on — we’re not even close to done here…” Cherry bounded off the bed, feet carrying her towards the hotel room door that she swung open gracelessly. “Listen, I’m fine. Everything’s great. I wasn’t horribly embarrassed earlier and my life isn’t in shambles, so please just go —” She paused, coming face to face with the last person that she wanted to see at the moment. “Away.” Her wet gaze trailed over him, fingers simply burning with the need to take his face between her hands even now. Instead, she curled them into fists at her sides. “Julian.”

If she could focus on anything but the boy in her doorway, she might have registered her father’s sudden shouting through the phone.

it had been a long time since he had felt so utterly out of control. he honestly wasn’t sure what he could do to fix things. if she would even want to fix things given the look she had given him. how she had spoken about how he was dead weight for her to get rid of. the moment he got off the elevator on her floor he heard yelling. it took him a second to realize that the one yelling seemed to be cherry. instantly he was confused but he kept moving closer to the door. his hand shoved the hood off his head before he began to knock on the door. if she didn’t answer he knew that he would just keep knocking until either security was called or she opened the door. he was relieved at the sound of footsteps and it took him a few moments to realize that she had to be on the phone. 

the door swung open and he froze at the sight of her. it was obvious that she had spent a majority of her afternoon crying. now that he was face to face with her, he didn’t know what he should do. it was clear she was shocked to see him and he could hear her father yelling on the phone. he wasn’t too sure what he should do but he was not going to leave till they talked again. he forced himself to move forward into the room and reached to grasp at her face,” lo lamento, alright? i’m sorry.” he didn’t care if her father heard anything that he was saying. he kicked the door shut behind him but continued to back her into the nearest wall. his forehead came to rest against her own as he pushed himself against her. 

one of his hands tore the phone from her grasp and tossed it aside. he didn’t care to see if the call had ended or not. he tilted her head up to force their eyes to meet,” i’m not letting you leave me, not like this.” he didn’t know if he would be able to make it without her and he thought she would know that. at the very least he hoped that she would. his fingers ran up into her hair only to smash his mouth against hers, unforgiving and brutal. a groan fell from him as he just prayed that she would kiss him back,” you’re mine, you belong with me, no one else!” 

[lcveimpaiired]

God, she hated that he had the power to make her like this! She hated that she was the one who had given him that power without so much as a struggle, despite all the warnings from Julian himself, her own father, and quite literally all of her friends. Every single one of them had told her that he wasn’t worth it, that he was just bad news at the end of the day. All this time and she’d stubbornly refused to listen. Cherry had just believed in him so much — she still did. And that was precisely why her eyes were shining with wet tears when he grabbed her arm, red ponytail whipping in the air as she turned back around to face him. 

“What I expect is for my word to be enough for you when it comes to how I feel!” The girl jerked her arm out of his grasp, placing distance between them yet again. Cherry was livid — angry in a way that she couldn’t begin to comprehend let alone explain in any tangible way. It didn’t matter how many times she said that she would stay by his side. It didn’t even matter how many times she told him how much she needed him or wanted him. She could spend every minute of every hour of every day telling Julian just how much he mattered to her and how vital he was to her existence and all it would take was a single glance at himself in the mirror or some scathing word from her father and nothing she said could be true or even matter. It was all shit. 

“I’m tired,” she tossed the honest words out into the ether, finally admitting it. “It’s exhausting trying to be everything that everyone wants or needs me to be! Do you think I relish the fact that I have to act like my entire fucking soul isn’t being ripped in two? God, and everyone thinks the answer is just so easy! You’re the dead weight in the equation, I should just turn you lose!” She flung out her arms in exasperation, the glitter from her cheer makeup clinging to the streaks of tears down her face. “What no one seems to get or even try to understand is that I’m the most me when I’m with you! Like it’s somehow impossible that I could be freer with you than anyone else or that I fucking love —” Her jaw clenched, teeth clamping shut at the final second. Self-preservation at it’s finest. 

“I - Christ! I can’t do this!” The flight part of fight or flight kicked right back in, feet carrying her towards the open elevator at a near-run. 

it never made any sort of sense to him. ever since cherry had shown up in his life he never understood it. how a girl like her who literally could have the world on a string wanted him. if he was sober he wouldn’t have done it. instead he would have likely remained at his apartment and just waited for her to come back. he was clearly not in the best state of mind and it was making everything worse. he knew that he should have let her walk away but he couldn’t seem to help himself. she whirled around and he had to stop himself from taking a step back,” because you caring about me, loving me or any of that shit is insane!” it was what had been drilled into him for as long as he could remember. no one ever showed him what it was like to be loved and cared for until her. maybe that was why he was determined to ruin the one good thing in his life. 

he didn’t try to grab her when she pulled herself from him. instead he stared at her, realizing just how much he had messed things up. it didn’t even occur to him that they basically had an audience. those that had gathered were practically hanging onto their every word. his anger only seemed to bubble up as she finally seemed to  hit her breaking point. it had taken a long time but he knew eventually it would happen,” no one is asking you to be everything! you are the one that chooses to live your life like this!” his head snapped up when he realized what she had almost let slip. it seemed she had realized it too because she had stopped herself. he couldn’t help but stare at her, watching as the glitter trailed down her face due to her tears. even when she was upset she was beautiful. 

all he could do was stare as she once more ran towards the elevators. he cursed but knew that if he went to stop her again it wouldn’t end well. instead julian cursed loudly and turned to push his way through the crowd. some of the smarter people managed to get out of the way and he found himself outside. his mind was racing and  he had no idea what he was going to do. should he just go back home? he knew what hotel she was staying at but he really didn’t have an idea about what he should do. he found himself just walking and hours passed before he found himself at the hotel. he pulled up the hood of his sweatshirt to hide his face as he entered the lobby. it was a relief that no one from her team was there because he didn’t need anyone to give her warning. instead he got in the elevator and went to press the button that would take him to the floor she was on. before she had left she had given him her room number and he was using that fact to his advantage. 

[lcveimpaiired]

He had known that the little bird would flee the nunnery after that night; Niccolo had been counting upon it. The vampire’s powers were weaker in holy places, limitations set upon the way that he could continue to deflower her and what she very likely believed to be her deteriorating sanity. Here in the safety and comfort of her ancestral home, the beast could easily have her however he liked right under her aunt and uncle’s clueless and unassuming noses. So far, he had been a perfect tenant. He didn’t bother them during the day and he made nary a sound at night. At dinners, he had been charming and attentive without threatening the patriarch of the house. After so many years alive, patience was something that he loathed but was willing to exert if the reward was worth it. In this case, with such a pretty prize, there could be no doubt.

Naturally, he heard the carriage well before anyone else. He waited as the servants announced her arrival, walked calmly while everyone else bustled about, and allowed his feet to carry him down the winding staircase that led to the foyer. Though Nicco could smell her perfume in the air and hear the frenzied beating of her mortal heart, he was still eager to see her in the flesh again. Eager for Eden to see him waiting for her in the safe haven that she’d chosen. His calloused, heavy hand rested on the newel cap of the stair post, dark eyes trained on her flush face as her relatives came sauntering down.

He strode forward, allowing her aunt and uncle to do some of the explaining as he grabbed her few belongings from the coachmen that was carrying them in. “Allow me,” he simpered, voice low and decadent as he once again turned his attention to the girl. There was nothing cruel about the gaze that he laid upon her, the soft smile on his lips such a start contrast to the one she knew from their tryst in the gardens. “I am Niccolo Altieri, a man of leisure and of travel. Your aunt and uncle have been kind enough to allow me to stay with them until my own home is finished with construction. May I help you to your room, mia bella?” The way that he arced his hand toward the staircase was almost gentle, incredibly human. “I have heard so much about you.”

the moment that her eyes landed on him it was like everything else faded to black. flashes of the night instantly crossed her mind. she was doomed to never forget his face, his voice or even his touch. it took her a few moments to realize that she had been staring at him that she had yet to greet her aunt and uncle. she forced herself to tear her gaze away the moment they approached. one of the servants took her cloak and she listened as they explained. in the back of her mind she was wondering if it would possible to flee. though deep down she knew that she had no where else to go and she had no other family. it took her a few moments to realize that he had moved forward and was gathering her things from the coachmen. 

he was carrying himself entirely differently than she remembered. she had to force herself to not take a few steps back because she knew it would be considered rude. instead she took a deep breath in hopes of calming her mind and her body. the way that he was behaving was as if it was their first time seeing each other. that only served to add to her confusion but she knew that she couldn’t say anything in regards to that,” i’m sure they are honored to have a guest such as yourself in their home.” it had been ages since she had to talk in such a way given most of her days in the nunnery had been spent in silence. they only had the company of their prayers. she knew that she would have to reacclimate to society and the standards it held,” of course.” 

eden knew that she had to play along with whatever game he was playing. her fingers lifted the many layers to her gown and she began to walk up the familiar staircase,” may i ask how long you have been here?” all she wanted to know was how he had managed to find what little family she had left. let alone how he had arrived before she had with enough time to make her relatives fawn over him. her heart was pounding as she walked down the familiar halls till she reached the double doors. there was no doubting that her chambers had been unpacked and cleaned before she arrived. she went to push open the doors and stepped aside to allow him to pass,” thank you for your help.” 

[lcveimpaiired]

I’m going to dive into my drafts today! Sorry I haven’t been around as much! 

[feelavalanche]

Fez as Tony Montana in Euphoria 1.06 The Next Episode

[weakenedtrees-deactivated202007]

give me a historical plot where one of the queens handmaidens becomes the pleasure device of the king

give me a historical plot where a princess, bound to marry the prince, becomes the target of his father, the kings, sexual desires

give me a historical plot where a drunken king mistakes the princess for the queen, ravaging her

give me a historical plot where a king discovers the princess isn’t truly his daughter and takes up a sexual relationship with her to spite his cheating wife

give me a historical plot where a king’s wife tragically dies, but he still has needs, so he turns to his daughter the princess to fulfill them

give me a plot where a prince finds his sister, a princess, sleeping with one of her maidens. he won’t tell the king and queen - if he can join

give me a historical plot where a princess seduces her brother, the prince, because she saw him with one of her hand maidens and wants a taste

give me a historical plot where a king takes two of the queens hand maidens and demands them to have sex while he watches, eventually joining in

give me a historical plot where a kings brother, jealous of the throne, decides to take his niece, the princess, to use as he wants as compensation for what he feels he’s been robbed of

give me a historical plot where a vicious and hurtful princess decides to use one of the knights in her father’s charge for her own sexual pleasure

give me a historical plot where a night guard finds a beautiful woman imprisoned in the dungeon in his charge, only to offer her a solution to her problems - bonus if other prisoners see what is happening

give me a historical plot where a young maiden is selected to be a friendly companion for a rough and angry prince, to make him a better ruler. he wants her for more than friendly companionship - bonus if he’s rough and angry while taking what he wants from her

give me all the dark, taboo, & smutty historical plots

[lcveimpaiired]

I got a new lap top...and oh my god, I’m in love. I’m absolutely in love with it but I have to get used to the slightly bigger keyboard! 

[lcveimpaiired]

nodding eagerly, penelope bend her knees as wesley had asked her to, downright starving for his touch. now she’d had a taste of how incredibly good his touch felt on her skin, she knew she’d always need more, would never not crave it, no matter how wrong and inappropriate it was. “please, wes, please show me what i’ve been missing”, the blonde whine softly, blue eyes even bigger than normal, “i feel like i’m going to combust if you don’t.” by now, goosebumps had spread all over her body making her skin even more sensitive to his touch, to his kisses. she spread her legs further for him wanting to give him the best access she could. “do you want me to take my pants off?” a part of her considered to just doing it herself but she didn’t want to be too presumptuous. 

he had not expected her to react in such a way but he was pleased. he wanted to do whatever he could in order to make her feel good. already he knew he was on the right track given how she was reacting. his mouth curved into a proud grin as she practically whined. he merely shrugged,” it’ll be worth the wait, i promise.” one thing he liked to do was tease and he loved how she was reacting to him. his hands slid along the outside of her thighs as she spread her legs. his fingers reached to begin to undo the button and zipper on her pants,” i got it.” he began to tug both her pants and her panties right down her legs. in one swift move they were off and he was right back between her thighs. he threw her legs over his shoulders only to playfully begin kissing and nipping at her thighs again. 

[lcveimpaiired]

                      EVEN HIS siblings can tell how much happier he’d been with miriam. they loved her and welcomed her with open arms. “you always do,” he murmured, nudging his nose against hers, smiling at her. “of course. i’ll have my publicist schedule one. any interviewer in particular?” vik asked and his eyes softened. “of course, princess. it’d be just like old times. we can order takeout too, my treat.”

every single time they spoke about such things she was reminded of how different his world was. for the first time in a few days she felt better about the whole situation. she knew her friends thought she was crazy for possibly considering leaving viktor. her smile only grew as his nose brushed against her own,” i didn’t have anyone in mind but maybe someone you trust? someone who won’t twist everything?” happily she leaned up to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth,” that sounds perfect but is anyone going to come looking for you?” she reached for his hand to start to tug him towards the living room. 

[lcveimpaiired]

          “I’M SORRY,” luna said softly, gently stroking his cheek. she was tempted to kiss his cheek, but not with everyone watching them, like they were privy to these moments between them. she smirked a little teasingly up at him. “maybe i have. and maybe i’ve thought of you naked while i was naked,” she said nonchalantly. “what would you say to that?”

“there’s nothing you need to apologize for,” he told her in an instant, shrugging as she stroked his cheek. part of him was worried due to how many eyes seemed to be on them. he chuckled at her words, wondering if she was being serious or not,” i would say that you are not the good girl that the whole world seems to think you are.” 

[lcveimpaiired]

Starter call for Miriam! I’ll be working on my drafts but I have a ton of muse for her right now! 

[likesuns]

to the people i roleplay with: i live for angst & i will most likely turn things angsty im so sorry

[lcveimpaiired]

MY BLOG GOT FLAGGED FOR NO REASON. OH MY GOD. I was so annoyed because I thought I was going to have redo everything. 

[lcveimpaiired]

I’ll be around tomorrow or I guess later today? Hopefully I will be productive! I am planning on doing nothing but staying at home and doing some writing! 

[lcveimpaiired]

They’d been doing so good - so fucking good - and it felt like she’d just been tossed right back to square one. Cherry refused to let go of his face, struggling against him even as he tried to fight her off with all of his horrible, wounding words. Hadn’t she made it clear enough already that all she cared about was him? Hadn’t she made it obvious to both Julian and her father that she was in this for the long haul. The redhead could never leave him, she hadn’t even been able to before she finally let him inside of her in every possible way another person could be. Now he was the center of her universe, the drug that she craved, and he was trying to sabotage it!

“I didn’t leave you!” She protested, desperately trying not to let her own anger and frustration get the best of her. “I’m right here! I know my phone is broke — Christ! —  I tried to call from other numbers but you never picked up! What more was I supposed to do?” Cherry was always being forced to ignore little parts of herself. She was always the one doing the sacrificing…and for what? To constantly be told by either Julian or her father what life she was supposed to have and how she was supposed to live it? Her hands dropped at his accusation, like she’d been scalded by the mere implication. 

“I - I don’t deserve that.” She shook her head, eyes watering as she wrapped her arms around herself like some sort of security blanket. They had a full on audience, a gaggle of faces around them waiting for the next juicy tidbit. Cherry stepped closer, pushing his chest with the palms of her hands. Not enough to hurt, just demanding to be felt. “I’m with you because I want to be — God, I’m with you because I need to be! How do you not understand that, Julian? There isn’t a single thing I haven’t let you do to me! There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you! You - ugh, you’ve taken everything I have! For fuck’s sake, I let you have your way with me in front of a camera just so you could get back at my father! Not for me! You! My choice has been made for months now, you’re just too busy throwing yourself a fucking pity party to see it!” Her shoulder hit his as she pushed past him, escaping through the crowd towards the elevator.

things had been going perfectly for them. they had been so wrapped up in one another but reality had come crashing down. all because she was gone for more than a few hours. he had thought that he would be fine but then her phone broke. if he was just able to hear her voice or see her face via facetime it might have been okay. yet when he was alone it was like he reverted back to the person eh had been before he finally admitted how he felt for her. she had become the center of his world and there was still the fear that he wasn’t good enough. it wasn’t like he had any grand plans for the future. he barely paid his bills but he scraped by most of the time. he took a breath as he still tried to pull away from her. 

“you did!” he shot back, groaning,” i haven’t slept since you left! and you know i don’t pick up the damn phone if i don’t know the number!” he didn’t have much common sense when he was under the influence of anything. when he had been getting high, his phone was the all but ignored. it was partially his fault but that didn’t matter. he knew that he had crossed a line the moment that her hands dropped from his face and she actually distanced herself from him. he didn’t know why but he was almost compelled to reach out to her. though he kept his hands to his sides, ignoring how they were shaking. 

he barely even flinched when she shoved at his chest,” because it doesn’t make fucking sense that you need me! i’m nothing! i’m worthless!” though he froze when she spat out about he had done at the night of that hell house,” and you enjoyed every fucking second of it!” he hated how the conversation was going but it was like he had no control of his mouth,” and what else did you expect me to do cherry? let your dad call me those fucking names and tell me that i’m nothing?” he cursed as she pushed past him and hurried after her. his hand grasped at her arm,” don’t just walk away from me like everyone else does!” 

[lcveimpaiired]

                                THERE WAS nothing that he wouldn’t do for her. he would do everything to make sure that she felt safe and comfortable. he leaned in, pressing his lips to hers, unable to help himself. “okay, you do make a good point.” a statement posted on instagram wouldn’t work. but an interview on the other hand… i think it would work. it’d be a lot more impactful too since they see us and not just words on a screen.” 

the way that they cared about each other intense. she had dated before but it was nothing like her relationship with him. her hold on him tightened as his lips meshed against her own,” i usually do,” she breathed after the kiss broke, staring up towards his face,” maybe something that you should arrange? or your-whoever is in charge of that stuff?” she honestly didn’t know too much about that part of his life,” can you stay? tonight?” 

[lcveimpaiired]

           SHE FROWNED slightly, looking at him and reaching up to touch his cheek. “that saying isn’t meant to excuse shitty actions. it usually means just doing something boring,” luna said quietly, stroking his cheek gently before dropping her hand. “ah, but you’re the immature to my mature,” she grinned. “just being honest, em.” 

a somewhat sad smile appeared on his face at her touch,” i know but for her, it was the built in excuse.” he couldn’t resist the urge to just lean into her hand. he shrugged since he wasn’t sure what to say to her,” i guess i am,” he told her before he glanced at his watch,” are you telling me you’ve thought of me naked luna?”