Until The Whole World Hears

Hi, I’m Jessica. . i'm 26.' I am from SoCal. Graduated from CSUF w/ a Bachelors in COMM DISORDERS & a double major in PSYCH. Currently working on my Masters degree 😍 I’m an imperfect Christian who is just trying to keep a relationship with God, above all, forever!

[learning-to-be-thelight]

🥰

"it's the sunrise,

And those brown eyes, yes.

You're the one that I desire.

When we wake up

And then we make love

It makes me feel so nice

You're my water when I'm stuck in the desert.

You're the Tylenol I take when my head hurts.

You're the sunshine on my life 🌞

. . .

If life is a movie, then you're the best part"

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I really wish things were different.......

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A tus pies, arde mi corazón, a tus pies entrego lo que soy, es el lugar de mi seguridad, donde nadie me puede señalar! Me perdonaste, me acercaste a tú presencia! 🙌🥰 Me levantaste, hoy me postró a adorarte 🥰 No hay lugar más alto, más grande, que estar a tus pies 🙌. . . y aquí permaneceré, postrado a tus pies 🙌 a los pies de Cristo 🙏🏽

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Bitches be crazy 🙃

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[thesadghostclub]

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Grad school has been a walk in the park filled with obstacle courses 🤣

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I’m finally in that place where i can type everything up and put my two cents in.

The thing was, i never needed someone to save me, i never needed someone to fix me. I never needed your validation. That’s what you always wanted to portray. You always wanted to act as if i was broken and you were my salvation. I didn’t need you to show me my worth. Regardless, it was always about how you were the savior and i was the damsel in distress. Which was never the case.

I didn’t need saving. I didn’t need your validation. I knew my worth better before you and after you than with you. But you wanted me to feed off of the palm of your hand. & Not only did you want to ‘save’ me, you wanted to exile me from my friends. Your own insecurities; being the reason. I’ll never forget how those got the very best of you to show the worst in you. You were jealous of my best friend for goodness sake. But I’m the worst person on the face of this earth for walking away? I walked away for my own good. I will NEVER regret my decision. Especially after finally reading the things you wrote. I was glad i not only walked, but RAN - & slammed that door shut.

Aside from that, i could never fix you either, but you always thought i could. There was a facade you constructed in your mind that everything was perfect. It never was.

Amongst other things, i wanted more for myself and for yourself. But you refused. You were too comfortable. Which is fine. But i didn’t wanna be a part of that any more. Because if you were comfortable then it would’ve only gotten worse. That’s not what i envisioned for my future. I didn’t want to be picking up the slack for the rest of my life - in all areas of my life. I didn’t want to end up in all too comfortable relationship or lifestyle. never wanting to grow and that’s where it felt like it was headed.

Often times it was rather asphyxiating. Walking on egg shells because you might not like something. And even to the point where my mind began to think that i was wrong for talking to a few of my friends because YOU were insecure. I had to draw the line. Of course i never stopped talking to my friends. But it was always there. - and it was always a problem for you. And it only would’ve gotten worse.

Then, finally seeing posts about wanting to physically harm me makes me SO glad i walked away. You have no idea. Of course you’ll deny they were ever about me. But let’s go with that - let’s say they were never about me - i still wouldn’t wanna be with someone who would have a desire to physically harm any one the way you described in your posts. Because to stop and think for one second that your insecurities could’ve lead you to sink that low in the future - I’ll be damned if i ever let that happen. I don’t care if you were angry. There’s no justification for wanting to physically harm someone for leaving. - or for whatever the hell. Or whoever the hell you were talking about. Was i supposed to wait and stick around until something actually happened to me?

— theres more. But I’ll keep that off of here. But that more is a whole other reason i chose to walk away. Because i should’ve never been put in that situation. But yet another reason why I’m glad i didn’t stick around.

You can call me heartless you can me cruel you can call me evil you can call me a bitch a whore whatever you want— and I’ll still never be any of those things. And you’ll still never be an innocent victim who was hurt by me. You were hurt by your own actions.

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i beyond LOVED my trip to Mexico 🇲🇽 ✈️ Visiting “La casa azul” was definitely one for the books! Being present for the historical election of #Mexico2018 was . . . Just wow! Breathtaking ! Seeing my dad and family’s happiness at the victory of #AMLO ....PRICELESS! 🙌🏾 Being present for Mexico being eliminated from the World Cup 🤣 was also something! Overall! Amazing trip!

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Happy Father’s Day to my love! You’re an incredible daddy! 😍❤️

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It’s not that i haven’t know this fact but Lately it’s really been a major thought how not only did i gain a partner for life but a little precious life that i also get to be a part of in helping guide and essentially raise 💙 you’ve already got the best daddy & i hope to be the best step mommy ever to you 💙 & to fill the voids in your little heart ❤️

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Yesterday, my boyfriend said the most meaningful of things to me. I’m still in awe. Just in the the way he said everything and just how . . . amazing he is. I’ve always had this deep concern for how my future husband would react to this and if he’d realize the importance of what it means to me. And to hear those words, wow, it was everything. 😩😭 just to know that he’d never see it as a burden and just goes to show me that with him I’ll always be protected. Ever since i got to know him better and within months of dating i came to know what it means to say that - someone feels like home - he feels like home. ❤️

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😫💘

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My cousin in a gif 😂

[libertarirynn-deactivated202006]

Real talk.

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Isaiah 35:10 “and those the Lord has rescued will return. They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away.”

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😍💕😘