@lefthandofseitan - Tumblr Blog

I’m gonna be perfect from now on.

I’m gonna be perfect starting now.

Goodbye

Life is getting better. Sorta. I’ve been doing really serious hard drugs lately. It helped. Now I’m done with em. It only does so much you know?? I just want to be able to be happy without anything. I’m tired of drinking and smoking the sadness away. I feel weak. I’m over it. Kind of over it. They’re having fun. I need to have fun. Fuck it.

I’ve been feeling very suicidal as of late. I haven’t told anyone. I don’t want to bother them. But my death would. Do you see the issue I’m having??

Nothing was said. I feel as if she’s finally gotten over me 100%. That’s okay. Today would’ve been our 5 year anniversary. She didn’t say a word. Why would she?? I’m sure she’s onto bigger and better things. I’m tired. Exhausted. Heart broken. Now I can finally move on. It sucks but it’s necessary. Fuck everything. This month is the worst. Fuck everything.

I fucking suck :'(

I've made the decision to quit drinking almost a month ago and it's hard but I'm managing. Sick of of being sick. Sick of being complacent. Sick of being a fucking clown to everyone. Just sick of everything it turns me into.