[nailsandinspo]

[leftybrowneyes]

Notes from a Distracted Mind

............

[leftybrowneyes]

Because I’m still communicating with you. You automatically assume I’m still in communication with them too?

...oh okay 🤨

[leftybrowneyes]

“Friend”

Friend lives 11 hours away

Friend discusses visiting and sleeping arrangements prior.

Friend never confirmed date of arrival

Friend randomly pops up stating he’s local - since friend never confirmed. I’m at work

Friend then tells me he’s leaving the day of me finding out he’s here

Friend wasn’t spending money for a room for one night

Friend was expected to stay with me

Friend have to understand I cannot provide and should of told me prior arrangements would of been made

Friend preached about year of friendship basically expecting I should provide him a place to stay

Things I would never do. Be a burden and two, drive 11 hours and not tell anyone, especially without arrangements or where your black ass would of stayed

We haven’t spoken since this happened earlier this year

Yesterday, October 31th was my birthday - NOTHING

So guess what?

NOTHING :-)

[fukkce]

it’s a great feeling when you start to become comfortable in your body

[leftybrowneyes]

I've come to London for a little "Holiday"

[leftybrowneyes]

I sit on my bed. Laptop open. Thoughts just pouring out. Some people I want to be vocal to but, unfortunately my pride would like allow me to speak first. History repeated itself. And some history isn't always good history for example this one I am talking about. It doesn't take me long to realize similarities and why I didn't like it then. I love excitement, spontaneous, surprises and just the little things. If you find yourself planning everything in your life you're not fun just super organized which can be an asset when needed. Could I ever discuss anything honest and straight forward to you? Probably not. There's no pointing fingers here but I bet you will point them at me. I will say this. Because many can't seem to understand it. Lol. Times have changed. We grow older. We gain experience from we put ourselves in. Nothing will not be like it was before. Your feelings and emotions change when they are aggressively being used in so many ways. My heart isn't cold. But it's not hot either. It's lukewarm. There's still hope. But there's no tolerance. And there's no more benefit of the doubts either. I must say this. Men are so influence by this new age culture that a simple gal that just want to take a stroll through a park or by a harbor and have simple yet interesting conversation with someone they are interested in. Just voicing my thoughts are flowing tonight

[leftybrowneyes]

Gosh!

It's not always greener on the other side. Let me tell you. Sometimes the imagination can erupt feelings like no other but once you taste the reality of it, that can destroy it all. I've experience and I'm sure you had too.

[leftybrowneyes]

How can I express things without being finger pointed at 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

[leftybrowneyes]

Sex confuses things

So I'll rather get emotional with my BOB at least I can't get hurt by it until it breaks 😭😭😭

[leftybrowneyes]

From all day to once a day to every few days to no days

Sucks you have to be afriad or don't trust enough to not get attached. For the little things can't even remain consistent.

[leftybrowneyes]

My ex told me

Not to let what he has done to me hurt the next guy that comes into my life. Don’t allow his hurt and distrust he’s caused prevent fresh love from someone in my near future. 

-cute

[leftybrowneyes]

13 years later...

Finally, in person, we sit next to each other. Talking he watches the game. Ordered old bay wings, I ate his celery. He ordered a margarita, myself a Jameson and ginger. This meet up was long overdue but I wanted him to be ready...

There’s a lot I wanted to say to him but the timing was short. If there is ever more days, then maybe time will allow everything to be said.

This night is in my journal (keepsake). It's what’s I felt that night. My thoughts aren’t as pleasant as they were before. How am I to share them? Easy question right well let us see if he can answer that at ease

[leftybrowneyes]

Music will definitely put you in a place you might or might not want to be in.

[leftybrowneyes]

I know what I want, the question is who do I want it from?

[leftybrowneyes]

Will I be forever alone with occasional encounters? I always ask myself as things continue to remain the same.

[leftybrowneyes]

A Peace of Mind

Is when you don’t have to worry about nobody but yourself… ....careless and not giving a fuck