again

im leina and i like naps

[leinasan]

mar 10

ive kept my distance from everyone in college and now some of them are leaving and i feel like talking to them more. i think i really keep my distance intentionally so that i dont have to say hi hello each time we see each other around school or that i dont have to meet the expectations of small talk and joking around each time we're together. but there wont be any time for that anymore because they're leaving and if i do get tired from those hi hello 'moments and expectations it wouldnt be too long anymore. theyd leave w the image of me as their friend, not some friend who didnt say hi hello, not some friend who was fun at times and not at times, but a friend that they only got close to for a short time and they'd wish to have met more. thats the image theyll keep.

[love-personal]

[leinasan]

0308

never knew people could be selectively thoughtful. oh well i guess im demanding too much consistency. anyway i really really do want to focus on myself because people r such a pain in the ass sometimes esp when they disappoint you im just so tired of having high expectations and temporary friendships i still have to force to make it happen thats not how u make/keep friends

[serious]

they are toxic

[leinasan]

mar 5

visit ig: kurokat_ for details

[leinasan]

list of things i did in 2017

(to be updated as frequently as possible) 1. ran around train stations 2. went to shaw spontaneously 3. first laser tag 4. took care of a week old kitten 5. ate in an org meeting w one supervisor in front and one supervisor at the back of the room 6. first it conference 7. met a corgi for the first time 8.

[leinasan]

0304

me: u should make sure the cat is warm ok put some cloth in her box so that she's warm just feed her a lot and cover her w cloth so that all she does is eat and sleep

[leinasan]

[leinasan]

0302

the good things in life include cookies, chocolate, sleep, (watching) rpgs, doggos, cats, silence, the sky, blankets, pillows, and just the right temperature (and of course, just the right people)

[leinasan]

feb 24 kostkat cant walk properly again for some reason. but she's still so sweet every time we see her. hmm ok rough things are currently going on w my group of friends in my block because im back to my situation 6 years ago when my friends somehow cruelly turn inconsistent in the way they treat each member of the group and well i prioritize consistency pretty high esp. when it involves a group of people. i dont want to dwell on that more so im going to rant about how there are 2 profs in my hardest subject this sem and gues what!!! the one who actually taught better left ha ha ha good bye quadro kid dreams i can only c r y 4 my grades on the plus side, i think ive been using my budget better and i also bought a tent (lmao) bc there are just days i want to escape everything and im keeping it just in case anyway yahas bed timeee

[leinasan]

mmmmmm

[passivites]

[oddorch]

[ufohuntingparty]

[leinasan]

feb 21

u’d think u’ll have lots of free time in uni but u won’t. well at least i dont. mwf are always cruddy days and the only rest i get are monday nights because i dont have to wake up so goddamn early the next day. i miss my old sched. i hate mornings and sunshine. but it is only now that i say this that i realize that i only hate how they mock me, interrupting the little sleep i can afford to have just to make me go through another crappy day at school. i wish i could finally wake up with nothing to face, nothing to battle. i wish i could wake up just to soak all the goodness of the day.

i’ve been falling asleep too much these days because im too tired and i get up mad at myself for wasting too much time on sleep though i know my body needs it. ive been forcing myself to read chapters of algorithms i dont understand and id rather not understand to be honest. ive been going to class wanting to actually learn something, wanting to be fascinated by something, but i end up feeling ten times more tired, disappointed at myself for not learning fast enough, not enjoying the lesson as much as i wanted, and pissed at myself and everyone else.

i dont know everyone tells me i should be grateful because there are people in situations far worse but i just want to be happy and im not i feel like im trying so hard but im not getting fucking anywhere

i just wish i could finally find peace

[leinasan]

jan 30 the horrors of my internet-less streak didn’t stop once i set foot in katipunan as i had first expected. let me update you from the start through this list: • typhoon keeps me up until 1 am • typhoon destroys my dreams of having a solitary vacation fueled by electricity, television, and internet • still no electricity, tv, or internet • chaos due to too much social interaction • electricity comes back • binge-watching becomes my only means of escape • tv and internet still hasnt come back and i have to go to katipunan • body is too tired and sleepy • i spend the days before classes lazing around • internet in the dorm becomes frustratingly slow • i lose my internet • still no internet so with that, i havent written in such a loooong time and now ill try to post this w the hopes that it will be posted so little and somehow so much has happen and i do hope this post posts because tumblr's pretty much where i can express myself more (and i think ive been bottling things up and feeling unproductive for a while, so it's nice to keep track of myself through writing yay) i end this post by introducing our new cat friends who we call by mingmingmingming as we also call all of our cat friends

[topinstagirls]