I was standing in the balcony. See the scenery at the night. Almost midnight actually. The breeze of the midnight somehow calm me down. My mind jumping here and there. None of them i could hear.
I know, i gotta to take a decision for each of pop up mind. I know all of them against my will. Yet, gotta make it right, like the bullshit i used to hear. Still, i postpone with a wish that... By postpone, the situation got better a bit nor i ready to take the consequences. Yet, none of them happened. Damnit!
Tomorrow morning, i gotta to flight to London. I moved. All already packed. Yet, i havent told to anybody. I bet they would yell at me and think they never on my mind. Inhale deeply.
Gotta be ready. My taxi will arrived before 3.30 AM. I have no idea what is right time to say pause to people around me. I couldnt categorize any of them as friend, stranger, acquintances, crush, frenemy, enemy, nor a family. Gladly, my hands could work autopilot on prepare something to chew and a cup of warm tea. Suddenly, my phone ringing. The name on screen is... Number. Guess, my taxi driver.
*damnit!* "... Yeah?" i could hear a television and some people talk from the phone and i kept silent. Still wondering why would the hell Sarah call me in this hours.
"Why would you ask?" i answered offensively
"You know... Guess, its not a good time for me to call you. Goodnight Queen"
"Yeah, goodnight!" i threw my phone on the table. Damnit! Why do the hell she called me and say nothing?!
Half of me, curious and afraid something bad happened. More than half, i just too snob to say that i missed her. Then, my apartment telephone ringing
"Ma'am, did you order a taxi? Its just arrived. Is there any baggage? We could sent a person to help"
"Yes, please. I need a trolley. Thank you"
My food left on the table and my mind got worsen.
A bell boy. He came and take the trolley with him. As he goes inside my apartment. I've got myself out of zone. My mind stuck at a few moment ago and cant go back.
"Ma'am is this all you bellonging?" he look at five big boxes plus two bagages on the floor. My mind goes somewhere and i havent answer the bell boy question.
"Ma'am, are you okay?" the bell boy ask
In a seconds, i've got myself back "yeah, of course. Please, take all this boxes and my bagage downstairs". The bell boy do as i asked.
As the bell boy put one by one my bagage. I take a look one more time to the room i already lives for the whole five years. Five years roller coaster. I could see, my team work on the corner discuss about our company future, how serious we are before take a decision and kicked one of our people, farewell night, celebrating our win over cases, friend gathering, and.. The woman that comes in my life and makes all is perfect then throw me from heaven to hell. Each corner have a story.
When the owner of apartment asking me whether i'm going to rent this unit when i'm back from London or not. I kept asking myself, could i bear all those bittersweet memories? Or will i come to this country like a free person? Once awhile, the man who have this unit persuade me to buy the unit cuz he see me how comfort and enjoy i am lives in this unit, yet.. I say to him "i'm gonna keep that on mind. I'll let you know in the next three months". Thats what i said to the owner of this unit a week before i packed my stuff.
"Ma'am, i'm going to downstairs and put all your belongings in the taxi"
"Yes, please. Please, sent this message to the driver, i'll be there in 30 minutes" as i closed the door. I put my smartphone.
Now or never. That what i said to myself.