more studying, more walks, more reading, more skill-based hobbies, more experimenting w pretty fits and hairstyles, more gym, more exploring new things in general, more whole foods/healthy recipes, more financial literacy, more time management, more time off the phone, more being out the loop. nothing else matters
A blogger in gaza, Amal alhenawi, shared a story yesterday explaining how the past few days have been. Of course there are no words to describe exactly how it is to live under constant bombardment.
She said that she misses sleeping alone in her room, instead of having to share a room with other 10 people. She said she feels guilty when she secretly admits she's terrified of death and that she wants to live. No internet, no food, sometimes when they get lucky each member of her family gets one loaf of bread for the day, other days there might not be anything to eat. She mentioned how everybody celebrated when her brother came back with water, but it tasted weird, turns out it was undrinkable but it was the only solution they had.
What horrified me the most, is when she talked about their neighbors building getting bombed by israeli air strikes. And how paramedics as well as civilian defense came to the scene only to leave minutes later. In their own words: "this building is four floors. We have no equipment to dig through or get anyone out." So they had to leave. People from the neighborhood started digging with their own hands, they could hear some people alive underneath, but no one could get out.
Amal talks about her two cousins who visited her and they're little kids who don't talk anymore. She said they saw their friend and neighbor dead, with his head sperated from his body, the trauma was too severe for them to process.
Amal wants to live. She came to gaza to celebrate her brother's wedding. Who was planning on leaving for his honeymoon before the genocide started.
Each person of gaza has a story, a life worth living. So we must end this genocide. Do everything you can, do not stop and do not get used to it. Annihilating an entire city is not normal and should never be.
hey cianna!! love to me anon here (i don’t know if you still remember me, but here’s to hoping!), and i wanted to ask. how do you know when you’re absolutely done. like, i’ve given everything i ever had to everyone i’ve ever met and it’s still not enough.. but. there’s always a “but” to my mindset and words, and even though i’ve tried to fix it over the past few months, it’s just not working. i don’t know what else to do nor fix anymore
I’m done when I see that the person is willing to put 0 effort into trying and nothing will change. I’m done when I realize that the person has checked out of a relationship (romantic or platonic) and at this point I’m chasing breadcrumbs just to feel like they really care. I’m done when I see they refuse to communicate about the problem. I’m done when all the sweet memories I have w them are from a long time ago rather than recent, meaning I’m clinging on to a version of them that no longer exists.
Have you asked yourself just why you’re willing to extend so much grace to people? I feel like it’s easy to say “bc I’m just patient” “I’m attached to them” etc etc but I have had this issue before, and on digging deeper I realized a big part of it was bc of the scarcity mindset. I was scared that I would not find any better if I were to cut them off, or I was attached to a version of them that no longer existed, or dysfunction was all I knew and I literally could not even conceive the idea of more healthy, more dynamic friendships. I’m not saying that you should liberally cut off anyone you don’t 100% mesh with, but you should really uproot the reasons as to why you’re okay with disrespecting your own boundaries over and over for people who’re not even willing to return the effort. For me it boiled down to insecurity.
And I’m not saying you have to dramatically cut them off or anything. This really depends on a case to case basis. But at the very least, dedicate less of your time to those who drain your energy and more to those who nourish it. You will be so much happier for it.
and there are a lot of leaves already.
I could rake and get a head start.
The boy’s summer toys need to be put
in the basement. I could clean it out
or fix the broken storm window.
When Eli gets home from Sunday school,
I could take him fishing. I don’t fish
but I could learn to. I could show him
how much fun it is. We don’t do as much
as we used to do. And my wife, there’s
so much I haven’t told her lately,
about how quickly my soul is aging,
how it feels like a basement I keep filling
with everything I’m tired of surviving.
I could take a walk with my wife and try
to explain the ghosts I can’t stop speaking to.
Or I could read all those books piling up
about the beginning of the end of understanding…
Meanwhile, it’s such a beautiful morning,
the changing colors, the hypnotic light.
I could sit by the window watching the leaves,
which seem to know exactly how to fall
from one moment to the next. Or I could lose
everything and have to begin over again.
love when men cry about body hair bc "it's hygiene" and yet 15% of cis men leave the bathroom without washing their hands at all and an additional 35% only just wet their hands without using soap. that is nearly half of all men. that means statistically you have probably shaken hands with or been in direct contact with one of these people.
love when men say that women "only want money" when it turns out that even in equal-earning homes, women are actually adding caregiver burdens and housework from previous years, whereas men have been expanding leisure time and hobbies. in equal-earning households, men spend an average of 3.5 hours extra in leisure time per week, which is 182 hours per year - a little over a week of paid vacation time that the other partner does not receive. kinda sounds like he wants her money.
love that men have decided women are frail and weak and annoying when we scream in surprise but it turns out it's actually women who are more reliable in an emergency because men need to be convinced to actually take action and respond to the threat. like, actually, for-real: men experience such a strong sense of pride about their pre-supposed abilities that it gets them and their families killed. they are so used to dismissing women that it literally kills them.
love it. told my father this and he said there's lies, damned lies, and statistics. a year ago i tried to get him to evacuate the house during a flash flood. he ignored me and got injured. he has told me, laughing, that he never washes his hands. he has said in the last week that women are just happier when we're cooking or cleaning.
maybe i'm overly nostalgic. but it didn't used to feel so fucking bleak. it used to feel like at least a little shameful to consider women to be sheep. it just feels like the earth is round and we are still having conversations about it being flat - except these conversations are about the most obvious forms of patriarchy. like, we know about this stuff. we've known since well before the 50's.
recently andrew tate tried to justify cheating on his partner as being the "male prerogative." i don't know what the prerogative for the rest of us would be. just sitting at home, watching the slow erosion of our humanity.
This is how we are NOT going to wait until the new year (or a new whatever) to be the best version of ourselves, we are going to change now.
When you want to change, change. Don't wait for anything.
There are about 100 days until the new year. That is 3 months. You can get so much done within that timeframe.
But with the "new year" aside, please know that there is absolutely no rush to improve. It can be July and you can still decide to "reinvent" yourself. This is just a fun thing to do and keep track of.
Not a "challenge" but a way to stay accountable for your goals for a better you.
୨୧ Here is how we are going to absolutely kill it!
1. Pick a number of goals (3-4, both small and large) for every aspect of your life.
Physical: 10k steps a day, working on being sober, moving your body around more, getting into bed earlier, reducing screen time, cooking healthier meals, brushing your hair, wearing the nice clothes you're saving for a "special occasion", trying out new looks and clothes, venturing out new styles, upgrading your basic hygiene routine, celibacy, drink more water
Mental: writing down your thoughts, keeping track of your emotions both negative and positive and what triggers them. Get rid of the negative triggers and bring in more of the positive triggers.
Emotional: getting in touch with a therapist, dedicating a journal to release you emotions instead of bottling them in, talking to friends, anger management
Professional: working 1 hour or more of deep work to improve your skills, networking events
Personal: find your old hobbies, discover new ones, pleaseee get a hobby. seriously! trying out new restaurants and cafes, complimenting people and be open to making new friends.
Spiritual: meditation, prayers to yourself or religion you are a part of, nature/solitude walks. These are super important, it brings you peace of mind and a time to really be with yourself and be at peace after your jam packed days
Finance: learn how to budget, no impulse spending, learn how to invest, find a way to increase your income
Important habits to have: waking up and going to bed early, planning your next day, having a set routine and freedom to change it to fit your priorities
Important skills to build: time management and how to focus better
These are just some ideas and I know looking at this list can be overwhelming so you need to remember and understand that you are not going to be doing every single one of these every single day. You are going to pick a few from each category (and seriously, if you think about it, I discuss this in the next section about time blocking, it really does not take a lot of time. Trust me.) and include them into your daily routine.
2. Setting up reasonable time blocks for these goals. Revamp your schedule to fit your goals around your life.
Getting up early is how you get more done in a day. Yes, you can reach your goals even with a full time job.
I work almost 12 hour shifts every week day while taking care of kids, my dog, basically running a household and I still get so much done.
So you've picked your goals. Great. Now take a look at your schedule and figure out what things are taking up most of your time. Is it a long commute? Spending too much time scrolling on your phone? Waking up late? Going to bed late?
Example of time blocking/a schedule:
☆ Mornings:
4am-5am: exercise, pray/meditate
5am-7am: study
8am-4pm: get ready for the day and go to work.
during your work break, you can read a book, get steps in, meditate, have a nice meal.
☆ Evenings:
4pm-5pm: get back from work, eat, catch up with family or have alone time
5pm-7pm: review any notes, clean, meal prep, attend a class you may have, do laundry
7pm-9pm: plan the next day if you have appointment or deadlines, shower, go to bed
Assess how you spend your time and utilize it. Instead of scrolling on your phone during your free time, spend time with your loved ones (pets, kids, partner), instead of staying in one place while you're on a call, walk around to get steps in, there is always a way to implement your goals into your daily life.
Notice how I say fit your goals around your life. You don't want to be taking away important things like errands, jobs, school, being a parent just meet your goals- no. Use your time wisely. That's all. You can fit them.
On the larger goals like taking up a class/large skill, like dancing and painting. On fridays, you'll have dance class and on other days that you have free, you'll be painting a piece or reading your anticipated book, learning a language, trying out a new recipe, planning the next day, taking a spontaneous art class, etc!
Weekends.
Because I work a lot, I like to use weekends to really do deep work. Intensive study sessions. And because I deep work (work with no distractions) I don't need to study all day. I'm getting so much done in little time that I'll be done by the afternoon and I can go out and do errands, get all dressed up and have a nice day out in the city, or just have a relaxing day by doing chores, watching a nice movie and more!
3. Setting up a system so you can actually stick to those goals.
Keep a journal to keep track of what you did today. If you didn't reach a goal that day (and that's okay), ask yourself why? and how does it make you feel? Then take action on what you can do to reach it tomorrow.
Switching. We all know it’s best to not push yourself so hard. For example, don’t do intense exercise everyday. Walking and dancing throughout the day counts as exercise too, so by switching (depending on YOUR goals), you’ll have time for your other goals as well. Here is an example: on a rest day of no exercising, maybe that day is the night I have a ballet class. That is exercise as well. So instead of exercising in the very early hours of my day, I can use that time instead to do more studying OR have more time doing something else.
which means I can do one do the following: spend more time with my pet, read a few pages of my book, make a new recipe, etc.
Ex. 4am-5am - on a no-exercise day, i can study during that time instead. 6am-7am - more time to tackle my other goals.
Create a foundation. If you have an amazing day, felt very productive and accomplished, what's a habit that really helped? For me, it's always getting up early. If I wake up late because I slept late or my alarm didn't go off, my day is thrown off by a landslide. So if you had an off day, figure out why and maybe your foundation can help.
★ That’s all!
If you have questions or need an example to jump off from, click below to read more on how I personally did my reset and how I am still able to get much more done with a full time job.
Stay safe, prospering, and amazing!
Share your accountability posts with the tag #100DaysWithDDD or we can chat through my inbox if you need extra tips, questions or want to share how you're doing/did.
I will be logging my days too, you can find my goals here.
Welcome, welcome!
Here is an example of what I did when I did my reset and still doing now with working.
I chose my goals. I was studying deeply, spending more time with my dog who I felt bad would be bored during my study hours, be more active, get through my books.
How did I start? First of all I got up earlier and went to bed earlier. I noticed that I focus better in the mornings so I would stretch, workout and started studying. Next, I would get ready (nice clothes, my face is clear, hair is brushed), take my dog out, play with him, etc and head to work. See? I already tackled so many of my goals there! Physical, personal, and professional.
Want to get more books in, want to meditate, want to journal? Listen to an audiobook or podcast while you drive, commute, or have a lunch break at school or work. Or don't. Sit in silence and let your mind wander, let those unconscious ideas come up! That's also a form of meditation and having more creative skills.
During my study breaks, I would stretch, walk my dog. Another break, I catch up with the kids, do any short tasks like laundry, mini tidying up. Any break, at all I would do micro-task.
I stopped doing useless things like spending so much time on my phone for what? If I was truly bored, I had done all my tasks but I didn't feel like getting up or doing anything, I would go on my phone... to clean out apps and my camera roll (which has A LOT of things on it I still need to get through). That's the only time I would go on my phone really. The lack of storage on my phone makes it lag- I'm heavily scolding my past hoarder self for keeping so many photos on there
If you work a desk job, get up for phone calls, take laps when there is nothing to do, just get your body moving! Stretch! There is always something to do, you just have to know how and what.
I'm obsessed with gardening systems that utilize rainwater without the use of barrels or cisterns. My ultimate fav is using bioswales to catch and filter stormwater on the street.
Fun addition: Dams that utilize trees to catch dirt/ stop erosion, and prevent disaster that can come from broken dams.
Also, using these to reduce stormwater loads in storm events, particularly in places with combined stormwater and sewage systems, could/would be helpful at reducing river discharges of raw sewage. (If climate change is factored in at system level cos more rain in less time needs to be accouted for at rhe large scale designs...)
Plus using constructed wetlands to retain these discharges and treat them before rivers too!
…..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment
likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post
i’m taking my sweet time finishing patti smith just kids bc i love how she romanticizes everything n i love how free spirited it is. things seemed serious but not detrimental at the time. there was still hope or like. optimism. there was a sense of possibility in the air. i want some of that
izzy806
turnnoffyourmind
vaporwave
gummygunk
snowghoul
stormborns
