I am sorry, I was unactive on social media for a while. I don't usually talk a lot about life here, but I feel the need to share some things with you, 'cause I am planning to stop posting art for some time and take a good break from the internet.
Life is getting harder and harder for me since the war has started, and I feel stupid talking about it with people on social media, because I am a russian citizen which means that war effected me less than anyone in Ukraine, or even those russians who live near the western border. But, unfortunately, at unawares it effected me more than i expected anyway.
It became harder for me not to just create and share content, but to make art in general. Which is not the best thing that could happen, as I had projects to make and commissions to finish. It just ends up as a big lump of unbearable anxiety for missing deadlines, not keeping in touch with people, not sharing content etc etc. After all, nothing good is left in process. I take my pen, and all I feel is a great disappointment, anxiety and guilt. In the end, I don't want to open my social media or procreate at all.
I think, my mental state plays a great part at it all as well. There's nothing to explain here, I guess. Who in a good state of mind would feel all right when there's a war going on, and when the life that you only knew, falls apart? My physical health is shit as well, I think it's caused by my bad mental health, because after the war had started there wasn't a month when I wasn't ill. Which is exhausting. Bad things just keep laying on each other like it's funny game.
There were some good things nontheless. There always are. There were some projects that I was lucky to collaborate with. You can see my art in this lovely jayvik zine! And in another jayvik zine (lol), where you can find my 2 illustrations for a jayvik noir!au fic by sweet Riken.
For now, my plan is to finally finish all that is left to be done (commissions, mostly), and leave my art accounts for some time, so I can focus on my mental and physical health. I still burn to make some grishaverse stuff for you, so it surely will be and see the world, but later. Occasionally I think about deleting all art from here, but if I do so - not now, for sure, and there will be a free archive for everyone who would want to return to my old art.
I still see a lot of feedback on my old art, though I don't post anything now. I want to thank you all for your support! It meens the whole world to me. ❤🌷 I deeply love you all and hope for your understanding. Like my best friend usually says: 'Wait for me, and I will come back, for sure.'
I am not rereding this text, so sorry for any possible mistakes.
