☹ ☹ ☹

[leovand]

toriivd‌:

     “ what isn’t good about that. ”  her voice is as low and as stupid sounding as she can make it in order to mock the everlasting shit out of him, giving a shake of her head soon after but still bearing her pearly whites in a grin. both were obviously amused by their petty banter, as always.  “ i’ll tell you what. the very first scene is a clear representation of how completely ridiculous the entire movie is. like, what kind of family leaves out bread and butter with water for santa claus ?  it doesn’t matter that they served it on a literal silver platter, that’s a meal you give to prison inmates, leo. jailbirds, not santa. ”  however, the next smartass remark that leaves his mouth is an intentional dig at her private life, and that sets tori off again, one foot jutting out to reach across the cushions, kicking his thigh.  “ are you daft ?!  i’m ordering it right now, online, you absolute fucking moron. god. ”  she almost growls through the heavy sigh she huffs out.  “ you can’t even begin to imagine how much i absolutely fucking detest you in this moment. ”  even with that drawled out through clenched teeth, she was also speaking through a smirk as she added in a special request to their order. his order, more specifically. with the final confirmation complete, tori drops the cellphone to her lap, elbow digging into the arm of the couch in order to rest her chin against the palm of her hand.  “ there, you big, stupid baby. you got your separate disgusting pizza on route, so get your stupid movie ready. ”

     again, the reopened investigation crossed her mind, and the natural curiosity that surrounded that, plus this arizona killer, was agonizingly gnawing away at her sanity. she needed to pick someone’s brain about it while spilling her own thoughts, and who better to do that with than the one person around here she believed she could trust more than anyone else; her big brother.  “ okay, while we wait, serious chat for a minute: since everyone’s freaking out about it now, ”  pausing for a brief moment, green hues seek out her brother, attempting to decipher any hint of anything that crosses leo’s features to indicate his knowledge of the topic as tori carries on with her inquiries.  “ what do you think about the texts, and who do you think’s sending them ?  ”

by the time tori is finished yelling and insulting him, leo--with a case of serious giggles--has already pulled up youtube on the television and found the movie. truth be told, tori’s reactions are part of the novelty of this film, which he forces her to watch several times each holiday season. it’s her outrage over the bread and butter, the way she never fails to roll her eyes at the terrible transitions. as if she hasn’t picked up by now on the fact that his enjoyment comes from the shit quality and borderline senseless plot. “the movie is ready, tor, you’ve just been too busy shrieking like a dying raccoon to notice. now if you don’t mind.”

so the movie starts, looking not unlike a bad bootleg version stuck up on youtube by the only other person in the world besides leo who likes it. but they’ve hardly even reached the bread and butter before tori speaks up, and it takes everything in leo not to snap at her to shut up. he clenches his jaw, holding it back, and swallows audibly. of course. why not? he’d only been trying to have a chill night, get high, watch a movie, and stuff his face with pizza. there seems lately to be no refuge from the topic. resigning himself to the conversation, he even pauses the movie in a gesture that silently indicates what he isn’t saying aloud: they can have this discussion, but when he turns the movie back on, the subject is closed. “i don’t think it’s natalia, if that’s what you’re aiming at.” he finally turns to meet tori’s gaze, eyebrows lifted in challenge. daring her to deny it. “i think someone brilliant sent out a mass text knowing perfectly well society is absolutely fucking primed to have a meltdown right now. nobody knows our secrets, tori. get fucking real. can i turn the film back on now?”

[leovand]

softglowed‌:

          NIKKI   RESTS   HER   HEAD  ON  his  shoulder.  she  knew  he  didn’t  mean  it  ;  she  just  couldn’t  help  the  fact  that  her  feelings  are  as  fragile  as  a  raw  egg.  brows  furrow  &  lifts  her  head  ,  turning  to  him.  she  cups  his  cheek  with  her  hand. “ leo, you are not pathetic. ”  surely  everyone  (  or  most  people, at  least  )  who  had  gotten  the  text  was  on  edge.  it  was  creepy.  unnerving.  &  the  absolute  last  thing  people  needed  to  read  when  settling  in  to  the  new  school  year   —–  poor  freshmans.

after  asking  the  question  ,  she  studied  his  face  ;  trying  not  to  make  it  painfully  obvious  that  she  was.  nikki  turned  her  body  towards  him   —  now  sitting  criss cross  on  the  couch  —  &  leaned  her  head  against  the  back  pillows.  she  appreciated  that  he  had  opened  up  to  her  –  even  if  only  a  little.  “ i didn’t really know her, no. ”  sure  :  nikki  had  seen  her  around  the  school  but  she  didn’t  know  her  intimately. “ are you … okay ? ”

the feeling of nikki’s hands on his face is unexpected and he thinks it must show in his eyes, wide and maybe a little grateful. he certainly feels pathetic, and while her conviction doesn’t change that he’s still glad of the fact that she feels that way. “thanks,” he says softly, holding her warm gaze and finding a smile for her. “i am a little bit, but thanks.”

the moment passes, then, and leo can see her watching him, likely getting a whole lot of what he isn’t saying from his expression alone. he’s never been good at hiding his emotions from his face, and normally he doesn’t really mind that much. except for the more painful stuff--like his dad and his addictions--it’s always felt refreshing to leo to be honest about how he feels. “yeah,” he answers her with another little smile, soft but genuine enough. “i’m fine. promise. it’s just...still quite strange, i guess, that she’s gone. that any of ‘em are. and that text...” he trails off, shaking his head and sipping his drink again. “it’s just so fucking grim, know what i mean? so fucking grim. who does something like that? you have to be so deeply fucked in the head to turn this into a joke.”

[leovand]

for leo, one of the more interesting things about having been using drugs since he was thirteen years old is the wide array of responses people seem to have towards someone like himself. there are those who deem it the height of cool; some treat it a bit like a strange illness, trying very hard to act as if they don’t even know it’s there; still others, usually people he’s close to, only acknowledge it when they think it’s “getting bad again”; and then there are people like jessie, people who look down on him for it, and these, of course, are leo’s favorites. it’s almost uncomfortably honest, and there’s a part of him that is irresistibly drawn to that. honesty, he thinks, is probably the rarest thing in the world. maybe that’s why he pushes his way through the crowd to get to him when he sees jessie at a bar not far from campus, a little buzzed off a bump he’d taken ten minutes ago and maybe hoping just a little bit to start something. “jessie, my man,” he says by way of greeting, and lifts a hand to flag down a bartender. “exactly the person i wanted to see, lemme guess your drink.” and, turning to a woman who’d shown up behind the bar, “whatever’s on draft for me and, er...scotch whisky for this guy.” he pauses, contemplating him, and adds, “neat. no, wait--on the rocks, yeah?” ( @jessiehqs​ )

[leovand]

it’s avoiding cops--which is becoming the uncomfortable norm around here--that leads leo between a couple bookshelves at the campus library, ducking quietly out of sight to avoid any potential harassment, and instead finds himself in the presence of someone else who makes him uncomfortable these days: sage. of course. and why not? it’s beginning to feel like going to school in a dystopian novel rather than real life. he’s more or less positive that sage--who had been natalia’s little, whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean--has some inkling of awareness about leo’s involvement in natalia’s life, possibly because natalia herself had mentioned it. he himself has an inkling, in fact, that natalia may even have passed a little bit of what he’d shown her down to sage, and better yet, he’s almost sure he hadn’t been alone in his feelings for their missing friend. all of that is to say that at the very least, she isn’t the only one with information she can hold over his head. “sage,” he says with not much effort to sound pleased. “looking for a book or waiting out the cops?” he leans back against one of the shelves, the book he’d come for already clutched in one hand, and peers at her warily. “i’m the latter. they’re a bit like mosquitoes, aren’t they? just absolutely everywhere, and all because of that moronic text probably sent out by the world’s most socially inept computer science-majoring freshman with a deep love of the horror genre and zero concept of reality. your holiday going well so far, then?” ( @sagestewcrt​ )

[toriivd]

          richard  ‘ deadbeat dick ’  ( 50 )    &    cynthia  van doren  ( 48 )

                              ↳    leonardo  ‘ leo ’  van doren  ( 25 )

                              ↳    victoria  ‘ tori ’  van doren  ( 23 )

                              ↳    bradley  van doren  ( 12 )

[gulegardiner]

[leovand]

softglowed‌:

      HER   HEART   SINKS   INTO   HER   chest  as  she  listens  - – watches  his  reaction  to  her  question.  she  tries  not  to  take  his  response  too  personally  but  it’s, to  her  surprise,  rather  hard  ;  the  two  had  been  through  quite  a  lot  during  their  time  in  each  other’s  lives.  nikita  didn’t  expect  to  care  so  much  about  him …  his  well - being.  “ i – i’m sorry, ”  her  quiet  voice  says.  &  then  his  harsh  words  come   —-  hitting  her  directly  in  the  heart.  tears  began  to  well  in  her  eyes.  why  was  she  so  goddamn  sensitive ?  nikita  clears  her  throat  before  taking  a  drink  of  her  water. nikki  clenches  her  teeth  together  &  forces  the  sadness  back  into  her  chest  before  saying  :  “ i didn’t mean to upset you if i did. ”  a  long  silence  comes  over  her.  why  did  she  open  her  big  ,  stupid  mouth ?

a  few  moments  had  passed  :  nikita  wipes  the  remaining  tears  from  her  eyes  before  turning  to  leo.  she  hadn’t  seen  his  walls  fly  up  so  quickly  around  her  when  talking  about  someone  in  particular.  she’s  hesitant  to  ask  but  once  she  builds  up  the  courage ——   “ did she … mean something to you ? ”   &  it  only  took  seconds  for  nikki  to  regret  asking.

the moment leo looks over and sees tears in nikita’s eyes he regrets having gone off on her; he hadn’t even meant to, everything had come out before he could stop it, but that’s pretty much his modus operandi these days concerning the subject of natalia. “sorry, nik,” he says, heaving a great sigh and scooting closer to bump her gently with his shoulder. “it’s not your fault, i’ve been on edge since everyone got that text. pathetic, really.” pathetic, yes, and also impossible to do anything about, apparently.

the question she asks is a personal one, and why not? they know a lot about each other. she’s told him about the horror show of her high school career, and he’s told her about his struggle with substance abuse and a one-parent family. of course, he’s also lied to her--they’re lies he tells everyone, but they’re still lies. he hates it, but the alternative is talking about things he simply doesn’t have the strength to talk about, so he tells one more now: “no,” he says simply, and lifts the bottle to his lips again. “i...smoked with her once or twice, that’s all.” it’s more than he’s told most people, anyway, but still a long way from the whole truth. and, in a low voice, “did you know her?”

[leovand]

toriivd‌:

     with the investigation being reopened looming over the entire campus of arizona university, tensions were at an all time high and tori was already completely exasperated by the whole ordeal. one of the only reasons this would happen would be if some newly discovered evidence came up that could potentially prove chad’s innocence and the blonde honestly didn’t know how she felt about that being a possibility. for the last two, almost three years, she wholeheartedly believed that chad had been responsible for destiny’s death and she’d held onto a vicious grudge for the longest time. everything had been put to rest and she’d been able to do her grieving in peace, but now old wounds were being torn open again and having to relive this clusterfuck all over again wasn’t exactly penned into her agenda. with leo, however, she knew that he’d never been given the chance to properly grieve the loss of his friend. despite the fact that he never talked about anything, the few words that he did give up was enough information for her to piece together the alleged feelings he’d been harbouring for one natalia linderman; the only one who was still missing.

     “ shut up, you twat  —  i’m her only daughter so yes, she can !  ”  his shouts were met with her own, clearly irritated by the sudden interruption of conversation she was having with their mum. a melodramatic sigh parted pink lips, a signature trademark of tori’s, and doe-eyes rolled before refocusing on the screen of her phone.  “ are you hearing this, do you see what i have to deal with ?  he goes on like a moron all the time just to hear himself speak, i swear. anyway, love you. tell bradley we miss him. and leo will call soon. ”  she made a point to raise the volume of her voice for the last declaration, loud enough to be heard in the living room, before ending the call. ugg slippers could be heard briskly padding out of tori’s bedroom, nearing the living room. as soon as the couch was in view, she reached down with her free hand to pull one slipper off and biffed it at her brother.  “ you’re such a brat sometimes. god, christmas evil again ?  ”  satisfied with her minuscule outburst, the blonde sauntered over to retrieve her thrown slipper and settled down on the opposite end of the couch, phone still in hand as she scrolled through a few notifications.  “ fine. but after that, we’re watching something that’s not stupid. ”

being in a different room, tori can’t see the way leo rolls his eyes all the way to the ceiling, so he does it for his own satisfaction. still, there’s an amused grin on his face, especially when he hears her voice lift in an effort to make sure he knows she’s letting their mum know he’ll call. he will--at some point. he loves their mum as much as tori does, the only difference being that he’s never deemed it necessary to check in quite literally every single day. what tori doesn’t know, of course, is that their mum makes the specific effort of reaching out herself several times a week by text, just to make sure her eldest son hasn’t relapsed and wound up dead in a ditch somewhere in the american southwest. leo obliges her, even if it’s only a short “i’m fine, love you” to keep her satisfied. these ones tori can’t know about.

he flinches away from the slipper tossed at him with a laugh when she finally comes into the room, satisfied by the familiarity of their banter. “yeah, christmas evil again, you fucking wench, and if you ever tried actually watching one of these times you’d know it’s a goddamn classic. sees mummy boffing santa claus and then goes on a killing spree thirty years later, what isn’t good about that?” of course it’s exactly as stupid as tori believes it to be, but that’s what he loves about it. there’s nothing like a terribly-acted, low-budget seventies horror film with bad production design, in leo’s humblest of opinions. “fine, we’ll watch the fucking grinch next, alright? now d’you think you could tear yourself away from whatever lesbian porn you’re looking at for a second and order that pizza for us? and get us separate ones this time if you can’t handle the number of banana peppers i want, you absolute fucking virgin.”

[leovand]

ofsecrecies‌:

    it’s been a bad day. no, scratch that– it’s been a bad week. fuck it, he thinks, pinching the back of his hand hard as he stares at the cafe’s menu. my whole life is just bad. the pinching is a bad habit he’s picked up lately. the back of his hand is red, but he hasn’t broken skin or anything, so it’s not like he’s hurting himself. it just… brings him out of his head. his head is the one place elliot hates being the most. he snaps back to attention once he realizes he’s next in line– fuck, fuck, fuck, what do i want? does he even want anything? he should’ve just ordered ahead on the app, it’s so much–      suddenly, an arm winds around his shoulders, and elliot flinches. turning his head, he sees leo, and all sorts of weird feelings start bubbling up inside of him. he blushes, unsure of whether he’s relieved to see the boy or just even more anxious. “jesus, dude, you scared the shit out of me,” elliot says, suddenly aware of the warmth emanating from the other boy. he tries to say it nonchalantly, but he means it. elliot rolls his eyes when leo shows him his coffee. by now, the cashier is looking at him, expecting him to order, and elliot’s really scared that he’s inconveniencing her, but no one’s behind him, so maybe she’s okay, and–    the arm is gone, and elliot pinches the back of his hand again for wishing leo hadn’t let him go. when leo pulls out the joint, elliot’s eyes widen and he grabs leo’s arm to lead him out of the cafe. “that’s– you’re– leo, we’re in public!” he whispers, shocked. he’s excited, secretly, but also anxious, because, well, he’s elliot. but he can’t lie— the thought of sitting behind the science building and smoking a joint with leo sounds cool. “okay,” he says finally, fingernails still digging into his hand. “but we can’t get in trouble, okay? my dad would kill me.” jesus christ, he must sound so fucking lame. but it’s true. he really can’t.

considering the academic probation he’d been put on last semester that he’s trying desperately to keep hidden from absolutely everyone--but mostly his sister--it might have been prudent not to wave joints around in public. leo has always been careless about that sort of thing, though, particularly when it comes to weed. he’s very much aware of this carelessness, even speculates on it now and then in retrospect, and he’s come to the tentative conclusion that having been as deeply entrenched in a heroin addiction as he had been a little over a year ago, the weed is nothing. less than nothing. but close as arizona may have been to california, it remained very much illegal here, and leo supposed elliot probably had a point. still, it doesn’t stop him grinning at the frantic way elliot very literally tugs him out of the cafe by the arm.

“can’t get in trouble,” he repeats, even going so far as to emulate not-quite-accurately elliot’s accent. and, reverting back to his own, “check. dad can’t find out, double check. anything else and i’ll have to start taking notes, love, so just keep it upstairs, alright?” and now he takes not a joint but a cigarette out from the pack of lucky strikes in the pocket of his jeans, sticks it between his lips, and lights it using a peeling blue bic. the science building isn’t far, and the nice thing about it is that there’s almost virtually no traffic behind it, making it an ideal place to smoke between classes. when they get there, he snuffs the cigarette and tosses it in a lonely-looking trash can situated just outside the building’s back door, but instead of placing the joint in his own mouth, he holds it out for elliot. small, pretty, innocent little elliot; it’s probably obscene, but leo likes that about it. “go on,” he says, smile once again turned teasing, “you start it. i’ll light it for you.” 

[softglowed]

      𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑹   𝑺𝑰𝑵𝑪𝑬   𝑯𝑬𝑹   𝑭𝑰𝑹𝑺𝑻  day  at  the  university  ,  she’d  been  curious  about  the  history.  she’d  often  wonder  if  he  really  did  it.  nikita  opened  her  eyes  &  leaned  closer  to  the  other  to  ask  a  question  :  “ i know this is completely random and out of no where , but . .  ”  she’s  reminded  of  the  mass  text  that  went  around  just  a  few  days  prior.  the  knot  in  her  stomach  hadn’t  loosened  since  she  read  it.  her  voice  drops  even  quieter.  “do you think it’s natalia ?  ”

[leovand]

nikita’s presence has become such a safe and comfortable one that leo rarely has any defenses up when she’s around, and his defenses are usually thin anyway. he’s an open person, honest about his feelings, comfortable with emotion, so usually there’s really no need for any defense. the thing with natalia is different--almost unbearable, actually, but in this matter leo has kept himself a rather closed book. tori’s the only one he’s ever told about his history with natalia, let alone the feelings for her he’d developed, and until that whole obscenity two years ago it hadn’t been difficult to keep secret. he’d mourned alone, bitterly. now every time someone mentions her name he’s terrified they’ll see everything written on his face. having been as utterly relaxed as he is hanging out with nikita at his apartment, beer in hand, he’s absolutely sure he faltered when she said natalia’s name; the question is whether he’d managed to cover it up fast enough. “do i think what is natalia, love?” he asks in a voice of drawn-out apathy, as though anyone on this campus wouldn’t immediately know what she was referring to. “are you talking about the text?” he laughs, and there’s no humor in it. he wonders if he’ll ever be able to talk about this particular subject without shutting down. “no, i don’t think it’s fucking natalia, what kind of vapid teen drama do these idiots think we live in? gimme a break.” he immediately regrets the harshness of his words and, after taking a sip of his drink, adds, “it’s just stirring the pot is all, nikki, people get bored with reality and make up these pathetic fantasies to entertain themselves. it’s called lord of the fucking rings, know what i mean? i’m so sick of living in a fucking reality show.”

[leovand]

it’s certainly not that elliot reminds leo of himself when he was younger, because they have very little in common personality-wise. similarly, it isn’t that they have any overlapping interests that had brought them together, or that they just click well. elliot is significantly younger than himself, dedicated to his studies, and had never smoked weed before leo had offered it to him at a party. on the surface, they’re as different as two people could be, and if asked, that’s probably why leo would say he likes him. elliot is young and innocent and impressionable and it’s probably wrong to be exposing someone like that to himself, but that hasn’t stopped leo from doing it. and maybe he kind of likes the wide-eyed, puppy-dog way elliot looks at him, too. that is certainly why, when leo spots him at a cafe on campus, he goes up to him with no hesitation at all and drops an arm across his shoulders, teasing grin plastered to his face. “what’ve i told you about caffeine, elliot?” he says, holding up his own cup of coffee in his other hand just to enhance the hypocrisy of his words, “it’s not the answer to your problems, mate. tell you what is, though.” his arm leaves elliot’s shoulders and he pulls a joint from behind his ear to wiggle in front of the smaller boy’s face before replacing it. “come on, save your cash and i’ll do you one better out behind the science building. last thing you need later is a caffeine crash.” ( @ofsecrecies​ )

[leovand]

it strikes leo as possibly the least surprising thing in the world that both himself and his sister had borne feelings of some type for two of the victims in arizona university’s freshly-reopened investigation. they were van dorens through and through. peopl are whispering about natalia these days, but his heart knows better. she’s gone, the same way destiny is gone, and at least tori’s gotten to do her mourning properly. he’s been stuck in this limbo, putrid hope forced down his throat every time someone else comes up with a new theory. not that he’d have said this to tori; his tact has been known to fail him around his sister, but not when it comes to this. beyond just dealing with the loss of someone tori had cared about deeply, he knows the very fact of those feelings--towards another girl, more specifically--is something she hasn’t yet shared with almost anyone other than himself. and he’s already broken her trust once, though she doesn’t know about that. if all goes well, she never will, either.

there’s really no reason for him to be over at her place instead of his own aside from sheer boredom, and considering tori is skyping their mum (as usual), not even his boredom is being assuaged. “she’s fucking sick of you already!” he calls from his place on her living room couch, a joint smoldering between his fingers while the news plays quietly on the tv. he’s been zoning in and out on the debate coverage, utterly fascinated by the state of american politics. “let mum get on with her life, she can’t have four hour skype sessions with you every night, tori. fucking hell. let’s order a pizza and watch christmas evil again.”  ( @toriivd​ )

[leovand]

there’s something deeply troubling about his willingness to keep this thing with keira going the way it is. leo knows that--he isn’t stupid. self-destructive and with a penchant for creating miserable circumstances for himself, yes, but not stupid. far from it, even. for all the terrible choices he’s made, leo is uniquely aware of what those things means, and the few times he’s consented to see a therapist in the last couple years (at his mum’s and tori’s insistence, of course) they’ve all remarked on his sometimes-unnerving ability to perfectly describe his own situation, like an outsider looking in on his life. the point being that he knows what he’s doing, he knows it’s self-destructive and that it will end up hurting somewhere down the line, but maybe that’s why he does it. he likes to feel things, and feel them deeply, and sometimes pain can be as satisfyingly poignant as elation. also, keira’s worth it. painfully pretty, smart, funny, and with a smile that’s in itself a little like the drugs he can’t make himself stop taking. sitting with her now on the roof of one of the campus buildings (maybe a bad idea with police crawling around, but being fiercely intelligent has never made leo careful), passing a joint back and forth, he wonders a little cynically if he’d be half as infatuated if she did share his feelings. “look,” he points to a cop walking around down below, the size of a large ant from high up. “d’you think if i popped this rozzer over here with a couple quarters they’d leave me alone about the murders? i mean, think about it, right? nobody guilty’s going to be pelting change at the police.” ( @hlraeths​ )

[mysterybit-deactivated20200306]

FRUSTRATION  EBBED  AT  every  feature  of  her  face  as  she  moved  through  the  campus  with  purpose  .  she  was  already  running  late  &  the  police  ,  you  know  ,  those  ones  lurking  the  campus  ,  had  chosen  that  moment  to  corner  her  .  she’d  S E E N   enough  ncis  to  know  that  she  shouldn’t  speak  without  a  lawyer  ,  but  that  didn’t  stop  the  frustration  .  it’d  been  two  years  ,  that  was  the  thoughts  on  a  loop  ,  a  constant  loop  on  repeat  ,  it  had  been  two  years  .  the  horse  was  dead  ,  literally  ,  leave  it  alone  .  she’s  so  caught  up  in  her  own  thoughts  that  she  doesn’t  move  fast  enough  ,  shouldering  a  passing  jock  only  to  collide  with  another  body  .     ❛             christ  !  ❜     she  exclaimed  ,  bag  falling  to  the pavement  .     ❛  sorry  !  ❜

[leovand]

sometimes leo wonders why he’s still here, tempting fate, practically begging the authorities to find some little thing he himself had never even considered which would be just enough to create plausible suspicion. under ordinary circumstances introducing a college girl to drugs wouldn’t be much of a big deal--it happens, probably every day--but a reopened cold case meant a cracking down on anything even vaguely damning, and the fact that natalia is the only one still missing? it makes leo nervous, to say the very least, and avoiding cops who look like they’re on the hunt seems prudent. maybe that’s why he laughs--without meaning to--when a girl slams into him on what is clearly a desperate bid to get away from their searching field of vision. “that’s alright,” he grins, bending to swipe up her bag from the ground and hand it back over. “i’m not keen on talking to them either.” he nods in the direction of the cops. “it’s like a fucking military state, innit? i’m starting to believe they think every last one of us is guilty.”

[leovand]

gm sweet peas im gna reply to some starters and possibly post an open one??? but also like this/hmu if we’ve plotted and you want a closed starter or also if we haven’t and i’ll come pop up in ur dms :’)

[fliesintheattic-deactivated2020]

“You had a sensitive nervous system. You had an enhanced reaction to reality. You were very affectionate. You appreciated things. You appreciated them more than other people. You practically went into trances of rapture. You wanted the world to be better than it was.”

— Margaret Atwood, from Moral Disorder and Other Stories; “The Headless Horseman,” (via violentwavesofemotion)

[chaoticbabyg]