Coffeeless Thoughts

Hi. I’m great at self sabotage. Here’s my blog about it.

[mournfulroses]

Emily Dickinson, from her poem titled "1188," featured in The Emergency Poet

[poetryforall]

[lepetitrenardd]

It is wild to me how vastly different we think and somehow fell in love.

I’m not even sure who I’m upset with

You, for being the exact opposite of everything I need

Or me for not realizing it

[lepetitrenardd]

How many times am I really gonna sit here and think “maybe this time when I talk about how much this affects me, something will change”

How many times am I going to expect someone else to change who they are to make me more comfortable?

How much grief do I need to face before I realize I am incapable and quite honestly selfish for wanting to change someone else’s point of view?

The only thing I can do is realize this does not serve me. This hurts me. I’ve talked about it enough to know how deeply it is affecting me.

The only thing I can do is change myself. The only thing I can do is accept this is not the optimal environment for me to flourish. The only thing I can do is have the courage to remove myself from the situations that give me stomach aches.

[haleyincarnate]

Inspired by @thefemale

[motivatedaily]

[haleyincarnate]

[sonandheirofnothinginparticular]

[gqandw]

You will remain the same until the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of change.

You will remain the same until the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of change.

You will remain the same until the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of change.

You will remain the same until the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of change.

You will remain the same until the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of change.

You will remain the same until the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of change.

You will remain the same until the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of change.

You will remain the same until the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of change.

You will remain the same until the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of change.

You will remain the same until the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of change.

You will remain the same until the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of change.

You will remain the same until the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of change.

You will remain the same until the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of change.

You will remain the same until the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of change.

You will remain the same until the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of change.

You will remain the same until the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of change.

You will remain the same until the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of change.

You will remain the same until the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of change.

[lepetitrenardd]

All the unnecessary negative comments and energy over the years.

I’m just waiting.

Waiting for the last one you’ll say to me.

I wonder what it will be, that will finally light a fire under my ass and do what I should’ve done years ago

I want to make sure every bridge back to your love is burned

So when I leave there won’t even be a thought of returning

[dark-soul9]

i feel disconnected from literally everyone and everything.

[dark-soul9]

It’s on YOU..to get YOU where YOU wanna be.

[neckkiss]

stay sick..

[lepetitrenardd]

I am not meant for the faint of heart

& I know this

Yet still it makes my blood run hot, to turn someone inside out

Make them feel fire and ice as one

Then leave them in the nothing I leave behind

No trace I was ever here, questioning if it ever really happened

It’s almost been a years time

Time to pack up and move on, maybe this time to a heart and home that can handle me

Gently, fairly, the way I wish to be held

[coffinforyourcoughin]

I almost wrecked my car today

Looking at Christmas lights

There is this odd sense of calmness that they give me

Like for a second I’m still a kid, and Santa is still real, and there is still so much more good than bad in the world

Because someone took the time to hang the lights, and the decorations, even after this shitty year, I get to see Christmas lights because they took the time to bring it all to life

I love Christmas

But I don’t know how to hang lights, I don’t have enough money to buy a real Christmas tree, or real decorations

My house is empty, there’s no one to appreciate it all with me anyway

But today, for a second, I almost wrecked my car

Because I saw Christmas lights

& I remembered what it felt like to be a kid in the month of December

& for a second I thought to myself “is it all still worth it? Even if I’ll never feel like that again?”

Because I was going home to a dark, empty, lonely house, when I just wanted to be in one of those houses, with Christmas lights, and a real tree, and people.

[lepetitrenardd]

I truly love him, and he loves me

& were not in love

Of course we’d never act on it

But there’s this sort of mutual peace between us

We understand each other

We see each other with a single glance and I know just what he’s thinking

Just what he’s feeling

& he knows just what I’m feeling

Just what I’m thinking

And we find peace there

In the bliss of each other’s awareness

Why ruin that?

Why chance losing that?

I never understood quiet admiration

Loving from a far

Until he saw me

I’d never risk losing his gaze

[lepetitrenardd]

“I don’t want you, but maybe I will later”

Is my absolute worst trait