gay idiot @lesbiandotorg - Tumblr Blog

there’s simply no need for me to be this anxious. and yet!!

#nevertheless i persist #in my clinically elevated anxiety levels #despite regular therapy a robust repertoire of coping strategies a healthy support system and smoking tons of weed and lots of meds #i still manage to wake up multiple times a night bc i am so anxious #i continue to spend my evenings rotting full of dread even though everything is normal good and fine #like i applied to jobs i cleaned my kitchen i texted with my mom i talked to my girlfriend i pet the cats #i’m objectively having a functional and productive night #i went to work today and it was normal like it was busy but not as bad as it has been and i had a nice lunch with my friend #and i’m not just being responsible i’m not just doing home and relationship management!! i also watched crowd control and did a puzzle!#AND YET!!!#I PERSIST #MY NERVOUS SYSTEM DEREGULATION PERSISTS

it’s one year today since my grandpa died. i miss him a lot. honoring his memory by working on a bullshit business presentation and smoking weed. he loved that kind of shit.

#i’m sad #miss you grandpa #love you

my girlfriend told me to make myself a priority and the thoughts that came to mind immediately were, i’m not allowed, i can’t.

hey 🫵 not allowed according to WHO

#definitely indicative of a larger issue and broader pattern #thank you to my parents for the extremely fun life lesson that how i feel is not important but how i perform is #crying in the lyft on the way to work rn #i will show up!!! i will try to perform!!!#first thought this morning was i’m gonna kill my self but hey that doesn’t have to mean anything right

woke up this morning and pretty much immediately thought “i’m gonna kill myself” so. the theatrics are perhaps edging toward genuine mental health crisis territory

#i awoke #i remembered #i became gripped by anxiety #this week is bad dude #there’s too much and it’s bad and i’m having a bad time

i love my girlfriend

#gay ass

vivian wilson being present for a cyber truck mention in a presentation, looking directly to camera, and flipping the middle finger is so. fucking. good.

#thank you dropout producers and editors for this one #thank you kylie brakeman and thank you vivian wilson #smartypants #smartypants society #dropout

lesbiandotorg

wait SAM REICH produces pretty gay??? THEN WHY HASNT HE PUT CATHERINE MCCAFFERTY ON DROPOUT YET

lesbiandotorg

it’s my time

lesbiandotorg

NOT JUST SMARTYPANTS BUT NOW GAME CHANGER TOO!!!! I have been blessed

lesbiandotorg

catherine’s performance on count the rice and the consensus response to it has me feeling so vindicated. i knew it!!!! i knew she’d be excellent!!!!

#see sam!!!! it’s not just me!!!! we all want her here!!!! we all want you to bring her back!!!!!!#dropout #pretty gay #catherine mccafferty #game changer #count the rice

it’s crazy what wildly distinct pieces of media 1984 and 1985 are. the difference a year makes, am i right?

#1984 #george orwell #1985 #sr-71 #bowling for soup

if you make something for gay people and then it’s bad that’s actually an act of homophobia. perhaps even a hate crime in many situations. for example. born this way by lady gaga

#it sounds ugly. it is annoying. listening to it is an unpleasant experience. and you want me to see it as an ANTHEM???? lmfao #lady gaga is trying to destroy the community from the inside #it’s a psyop #her music isn’t good it’s never been good it’s been so annoying this whole time #people were taken in by the meat dress of it all and it snowballed from there

my favorite students to help at work are obviously the queer students but sorry to all the other letters the masc lesbians and the trans girls are running away with it they are my favorite favorites by far. they make me so happy. like thank you for being at my desk.

#had an adorable like 22 year old masc lesbian come in today and she was a delight #there’s this one trans student named gwendolyn who always waves at me even when she’s there to meet with someone else #bc i got everyone in the office to start using her correct name #(they weren’t being bigots they just didn’t realize they were deadnaming her)#last week i got to work with a girl who was both and she was so cool and fun and kind #anyway thank you masc lesbians thank you trans women #you always brighten my day

twilanore

i refuse to hear any catherine mcafferty slander about this episode

she figured it out so quickly, climbed her way back to the top so well

its not her fault she thinks the louvre looks like a city block or that she doesnt know what spaghetti is

#count the rice #catherine mccafferty #game changer #game changer spoilers #dropout tv

beguilingcorpse

immediate top 5 game changer episode btw there’s just so much to love. the slow reveal of the rooms. ify being the first to lose in room 1. catherine mccafferty being the episode’s main character and breakout star. the set design for all of the rooms but ESPECIALLY the spot the difference ones. 25 grants. the friendship(?) between hannah and the bouncer for room 2. demi accidentally plotting his own downfall by saying pop goes the weasel at the same time as hannah. sam trying to fill time while waiting for a player to win their way back up. the pic pong got him. a true fucking delight all the way down and back up again

#game changer #game changer spoilers #catherine mccafferty #dropout tv

lesbiandotorg

wait SAM REICH produces pretty gay??? THEN WHY HASNT HE PUT CATHERINE MCCAFFERTY ON DROPOUT YET

lesbiandotorg

it’s my time

lesbiandotorg

NOT JUST SMARTYPANTS BUT NOW GAME CHANGER TOO!!!! I have been blessed

#catherine mccafferty #game changer #dropout tv #smartypants #smartypants society

I Am Having A Hard Week

it’s my grandpa’s birthday today. first one since he died. it’ll be a year later this month. this sucks. i really fucking miss him

i’m so angry all the time about that relationship and everything it took from me and everything it saddled me with and every opportunity and experience it deprived me of and i don’t know how to express or process anger because i’ve never been allowed to before so i just quietly and constantly boil and it’s driving me insane it’s making me crazy

#i’m an angry fucking person i think #like i think it’s one of my dominant emotions and always has been #and all i ever do is swallow it #and i’ve realized no one around me knows i’m angry #i’m told all the time how even tempered and unflappable i am #no!!!!#i LOOK even tempered and unflappable #i am BOILING i am SEETHING #and my big terrible abusive early adulthood relationship made all of my neuroses about shoving my anger down so much worse #and it’s one of the things i’m angriest about #and i don’t know what to do with it #things to work on in therapy i suppose

reminders of him…

#samwell gotch #cloudward ho #dimension 20 #maxwell gotch #dropout tv #i semi regularly pass these billboards and can never get a photo but i’ve finally done it

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