lesbian ferality

for lesbians only. *** Copyright © 2020 Adrian Page. All rights reserved. *** lesbiandomesticity.tumblr.com

[lesbiandomesticity]

I'm raising funds to help publish my fourth novel, Woven! please consider donating and sharing! Kickstarter GoFundMe

Hello! I am indie author Adrian Page, here to ask you for your help. Self-publishing is rewarding and essential but can be expensive. I am asking for your help in raising the funds to make this book a reality!

The basic costs are as follows;

$150 for a cover design

$500 for editing

$100 for GoFundMe fees and advertising materials/costs (bookmarks, Amazon ads, etc)

Any money raised past this goal will go directly back into the book: paying for ARCs and other copies to reviewers, rewards for the upcoming Kickstarter, and additional advertising costs.

It is important for me to keep this project LESBIAN BACKED, meaning I will be hiring a lesbian cover artist and an editor. Your donations will not only help create lesbian literature, but pay lesbian artists as well.

Any named donations here will receive their name in the acknowledgements section of the novel. If you're interested in other rewards, keep and eye out for the upcoming Kickstarter campaign!

About the book: When August Wisteria wakes up to her wife, Clara, missing without a trace, the world as she knows it is flipped upside down. Suddenly thrown into single motherhood, she struggles to balance the life she lives now with the life she had before. Ever present in the back of her mind is the question: did her wife leave of her own free will? And if she did, why?

Six months later, Sunny Oh, August’s oldest and closest friend, returns after years of radio silence. Everything seems to be falling into place and August embraces the possibility of moving on. As the two reestablish and grow their relationship, the reason for their separation still lingers. Can the new life that they’ve woven together survive the winter?

[lesbiandomesticity]

the wait is over! knotted is here!

you can purchase unsigned hardcover, paperback, or kindle editions through the above link — or you can DM me to order signed or unsigned hardcover or paperback editions, as well as a PDF version. a reminder that purchasing direct through me puts more royalties directly in my pocket, and less in Amazon’s!

thank you all so much for your support and help making this possible! I hope you all enjoy knotted — and please remember to review on both Amazon & Goodreads!

[lesbianferality]

in the dark, we bring light. we chant and hoot and stomp and kick. we haul dead wood into the fire, and it roars with us. there is a safety in the night here that we have never seen before. some of us breathe easy, and some of us cry out. these woods are ours, and we are playing for keeps.

[lesbianferality]

some days it is rage, some days it is sadness, some days it doesn’t have a name. there is a burning in my belly and even the coldest, crispest water can’t satisfy it. an emptiness i have never been able to name. i sharpen my teeth night and day to pull the layers back, but they never cease.

[lesbianferality]

we shuck corn and peel onions by the moonlight, thanking our mother for everything she’s given us. we eat heartily and huddled together, spoons clanking against bowls, elbows knocking against flesh, laughter echoing in the still air. we sleep in the open air with full bellies, safe and content. the fire crackles near our muddy feet and we warm from the bottom up. the forest wakes as we sleep, but we sleep dreamlessly and without fear.

[lesbianferality]

they say our hair has grown long and green, hissing in the dark like snakes. they say our gaze turns men to stone, harsh and cold and heavy earth. they say we grew rows of gnawing, gnashing teeth. they say we are witches, casting spells drawn in blood by the light of the moon. they say we spit venom that could blind a man, purple and acidic. they say we are barren, we are cold, we are cruel. yes, yes, and yes, we tell them, and they stay far away. but still, young girls and old women wander into our woods, wounded or tired or alone, searching for our venomous redemption.

and here we are, we say. you’re welcome here, we say. you’ve found your home, we say. you are safe, we say.

[lesbianferality]

we sleep peacefully, so when we wake we are ready to work. our bodies grow calloused and strong, rough skin and smooth muscle. we are dark with sun and dirt, smelling of sweat and god herself. before we were small and meek, but here we grow beefy and hearty. our laughter echoes from our bellies, deep and real. our tears fall on tilled earth, bringing life where they land, and never again go unheard.

[lesbianferality]

we forage deep in the woods for herbs and plants, and grind them to powders and pastes to heal what ails us. we cool burns, ease into sleep, and cure small aches. we rely only on each other, and what we can borrow from our woods. at night we steep tea around the fire and drink deeply, full of warmth and light.

[lesbianferality]

when the rain comes it comes hard. weeping, wailing, screaming in the night. we drown the thunder out. the earth runs slick, muddied and dripping, and we paint it on our skin. we rake our claws through the ground, watching the water well up in the crevices, unsure what came from us and what came from the skies. in the morning, things dry out: the clay hardens and cracks on our faces. we stand a little taller, walk a little lighter. the rain will come again, we know, until one day we float on air.

[lesbianferality]

we swim in deep, black water. it churns and rocks, and we churn and rock with it. we swim out until our toes can’t touch the rocky deep, and swim further still. the lake blurs the line between the water and our skin. we sink in, and we wait. the murky depth knows all of our secrets, and she tells us hers in return.

[lesbianferality]

it’s dark all the time here, like the deepest part of night. but we bring fire in our bellies and in our eyes, and the world comes to life. we speak slowly and purposefully, igniting the flames from one woman to the next, until there is a roaring forest fire. they try and stamp it out, but we’re strong from years of holding buildings on our backs. we can see the sun on the horizon now: a fierce, formidable fire that will never be contained.

[lesbianferality]

here we run with, not from, the wolves. our feet hit the ground in tandem with them, snapping twigs and flattening brush, yet never making a sound. they teach us to find our strengths and work as a unit, and to dance and howl in the moonlight. we bare our teeth, ready for whatever may come, furry legs and arms bristling. half wolf, half woman.

[lesbianferality]

we carve notches in the bark of the tallest, thickest tree, signifying our days here. they pass easily, even though they are not always simple. we put down roots in the warm earth, soaking up all she has to offer, and the days meld into months into years. daughters are born here, grandmothers and crones go to rest here. our skin grows thick and calloused from the work, and our hearts and our souls grow soft and open. the woods change us, always for the better.

[lesbianferality]

the moss and weeds grow to cover everything, and we welcome the regrowth and rebirth they bring. the fires have died out for now, but we still spend the nights howling at the moon. dawn hasn’t broken yet, but neither have we.

[lesbianferality]

the rage stays at a steady simmer, until it doesn’t. it boils up in our bellies, burns like acid in our throats, and spews red hot over everything. we scream and cry with it, every atom in our body vibrating with life. hours pass, and we do not cease. and then, suddenly, the heat cuts back, and we simmer again. waiting for the next time or rage boils over. in the meantime, we sharpen each other’s teeth to points, humming a steady note while we work.

[lesbianferality]

somewhere, a storm rages, and i feel it drawing near. i spit blood into the dirt, and breathe in the heady, heavy air. there is dirt caked into the dirt in my nails. my heart once beat wild in my chest but now there is an overwhelming sense of calm. i have found a home in this. there will be time later, to run, to fight, to howl, but i sit in the eye of the storm now.

[lesbianferality]

to be hungry here is different. before we were starving: starving for love, for touch, to be heard, to be valued. we were not supposed to feel the ache deep in our bellies. but here we eat heartily. we touch each other with a tenderness and an eagerness we never knew we could feel. we listen, we speak, and we love. and we eat fully, until our bellies are bursting. here, we hunger only for more. for freedom for our sisters left behind, too scared to come, too tied to leave, to afraid to see. we spend our time once spent hungering readying, sharpening our teeth and our knives in the moonlight. we have had a taste of what it means to be full, and we won’t be hungry for long.