tw sexual assault
hiiii idk i just need to word-vomit something in a place no one i know irl will find it
so.
apparently.
my gynecologist just lost his medical license for sexual misconduct and insurance fraud! and apparently the pelvic exams he performed on me were unnecessary and inappropriate!!
and i just. feel really stupid!! for not realizing!! because who tf needs a pelvic exam every 2-3 months for like 3 years!! even if my bloodwork was fucked up!!
and like i even asked my primary care doctor if it was normal for my gynecologist to be doing blood tests this frequently and she said it wasn't unusual because of the specific medication i was on. but i was too awkward to ask about the pelvic exams!! which were not normal!!
but at the same time it feels weird to call what happened "sexual assault" because like? i was uncomfortable at the time but i thought that was just because medical procedures are uncomfortable? and i know sexual assault doesn't have to be violent for it to be sexual assault but like. i didn't realize i was being assaulted at the time?
but i also know if a friend told me this happened to them i wouldn't be trying to downplay it but like. what am i supposed to do now that i know this? be more careful when choosing a doctor? stop seeing a gynecologist and just hope that i'll be fine off the meds? wtf is a normal pelvic exam even like??
which like. i kind of think i know the correct answers to those questions. i'll probably have to go see a normal human gynecologist and maybe talk about this. and i should probably avoid male gynecologists forever and always (which like not to say that women cannot be problematic or all men who are gynecologists are freaks but! i kind of got myself into this because i wasn't paranoid about that!)
anyway!!
please ignore this weird breakdown!! i just needed to work through this in text format and get a little catharsis or something!!!!!
if you actually read all of this pls drink some water and read some fluffy fanfic or something idk!!!

















