Ｌｅｔｈａｌ

[nullumregressum-archive-deactiv]

    Once he was dressed, he made his way towards the bed again and seated himself next to the raven. “… You could at least sleep in your own room.” At this point, he wasn’t too against having Levi in his room, considering that he’s already gotten used to it. Perhaps he shouldn’t deny that he actually enjoyed his presence anymore.

    “Whether you believe me or not .. That’s your choice. I … still plan to give an answer to you, Levi.” He couldn’t help but question if he was actually confused about his own feelings. That’s what he concluded but … it  didn’t feel right. Was he denying his emotions or was he just simply confused? His lips pressed into a line. No matter, how many times he attempted to move away from this topic, it always returned in his mind. It was just .. beyond frustrating.

    His crimson orbs watched the raven, even if he was covered with the sheets. He tightened his fist. Now that he thought about it, both of them .. really were pathetic in their own ways weren’t they? He began to tremble as tears formed at the creases of his eyes. He dropped his head as if to hide his face. ‘I really am pathetic, Yu -chan.’ He choked back a sob and could only cry in silence. 

[lethallevi-blog]

     For some reason... he felt a sense of comfort in the others determination. Found it reassuring, that at least the other was making an effort. An effort that the raven hadn’t asked of him, nor required. Perhaps this was due to the fact that it proved the blond didn’t think negatively of him...? Or perhaps he was just moved by the somewhat ‘kind’ gesture? Either way... it was silently appreciated by the raven.       As he felt the slight movement of the other-- the gentle trembles that wracked through his body-- the raven became curious. Shifting just a bit, he turned so he could look at the other. The sight that he saw tore at his heart-- like an arrow had been shot through it-- not in the cupid kind of sense, but in the pain kind of sense. 

     Was he... crying?       He was-- wasn’t he?      “...” The raven was engrossed with the desire to hold the other-- comfort him. However, how would that go over with the boy’s pride? Would that only hurt him further? The man felt as though he were stepping on glass as he approached the situation.       Sitting up slowly, as to not alert the other, the man merely watched him for a moment. The pain in his heart only continuing to grow--       He couldn’t take this. Couldn’t take sitting idly while this display played before his eyes--       Slowly, the man shifted once again. Placing a hand atop the other’s bowed head.      “... You don’t have to cry alone, you know. I’m here. I always will be until you push me away.”      ... Truly, this kid was his greatest weakness.  

[nullumregressum-archive-deactiv]

      “… Maybe I am giving up for now. I just … don’t want to think about it any longer right now.” He would rather wait for his emotions to settle down before he could begin thinking about it again. This was hurting his head. 

      “I can’t imagine myself even confessing to you any time soon–…” He was speaking as if he would do it eventually. His brows furrowed. “… If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be confused about my feelings. After all, you’re the one who decided this.” He was fully aware that Levi was the one who consciously placed Mikaela in this situation. Perhaps at first, it was out of amusement but now Levi had real reasons to keep him here. Despite that, Mikaela still remained unhappy about his situation. Even if he still longed to leave, he didn’t want to at the same time. He shook his head. He was thinking about this again. He honestly didn’t want to think about it anymore.

      “By the time we meet the deadline, perhaps I’ll be able to figure out what I want and how I feel..” He made his way towards the bars, and reached to grip them. “… Levi. I’ll give you my answer when we meet the deadline. I won’t say anything before time is up.” He couldn’t help but doubt his plan. Would he be able to keep his words until the end?  

      “… How long are you planning to lie there anyways?” The blond went to retrieve the clothes they messily tossed to the side and began to dress himself. He honestly wanted to get out of this dreary cell soon.

      “Also for the last time, I’m not your pet.” No matter how much time passed, he would never accept the role he was forced into. 

[lethallevi-blog]

    “If your not my pet, than what should I call you exactly?” Another sigh enacted from the raven, as he laid back down on the bed. Honestly, he didn’t feel like pulling himself together. Didn’t feel like getting dressed, didn’t feel like facing the reality outside-- Unlike the other. Levi was content down here. He was content within this small section of the world that he had locked away-- his place alone.       Without question, Levi disliked the world outside. Disliked how it was run, disliked the people that walked to a from-- all of it.       The one thing that he didn’t dislike, was the look in the blond’s eyes. The humanity that he clung to. The self that he desperately wanted to reclaim-- but couldn’t. For some reason... in those eyes, the man felt content.       Safe.

     ... Weak.

    “... I don’t feel like getting up. I’m going to sleep.” Closing his eyes, he rolled over onto his side. Pulling the covers over himself, as if to shut out the world.      “... An answer only means something to me if it’s proven. I cannot guarantee that even at that time, I’ll believe you.” Despite himself, he continued to speak-- “... It doesn’t matter weather or not you give me an answer. When faced with freedom, anyone’s heart can be swayed. I won’t hold it against you if you don’t give me one, for I won’t expect one from the start.”      “... I suppose in that way, I’ve given up as well...” His voice was but a whisper now. A small smile made it’s way onto the raven’s features-- a rare sight, but ironically a sad one.      “Than again, can’t say I ever tried...”      “... After all, trying to win the heart of someone like you... It would only push you further away, wouldn’t it?” 

[nullumregressum-archive-deactiv]

    There was no sign of hesitation in his response. He knew that but yet why did he need confirmation? Perhaps deep down, he wished for Levi to come along with him .. But why? That very same confusion began to cloud his mind once again. His brows furrowed and he shook his head in attempt to brush off that emotion.

    “… You speak as if I love you…” How long would he be uncertain about his emotions? He was already tired with dealing with this never ending confusion. Perhaps at this point, he should allow things to go along without any thought. “… But I suppose I do understand how you feel  … in some ways.” He sat up and got off the bed. “… Well, I don’t really know anymore.. so I’ll just leave everything be.”

[lethallevi-blog]

     “... Are you truly fine with that?” An eyebrow raised, signifying question. Was the other fed up with themselves...? The man knew that surely, the blonde’s mind was caught in a harsh turmoil. Going back and forth, back and forth. However, what he didn’t know was how long the other’s patience was. How long he would be willing to debate with himself in order to come to some kind of conclusion-- “... Or are you just giving up?” 

    “... Well, either way-- it’s not like you don’t have time to think.”     “... I’m not speaking of your feelings, I’m merely reciting my own.” A sigh escaped the man’s lips as he spoke-- “... With how you are now, even if you did say something like ‘I love you’-- I wouldn’t believe it.”       Sitting up, he looked towards the bars of the blonde’s cell. The ones he used to contain him.      “A being in captivity does not know their own feelings... They’re in a constant deadlock with themselves, going back and forth on weather or not they love their captor. As is the fate of a pet.” It was in this kind of state that Levi wished to put the other in. It would be then, and only then that he could release him. When the boy utters the words ‘I love you’-- it’ll all be over. When the boy utters those words, Levi would release him. “... After the deadline, if you still wish for me to be around-- Then, I’ll be there. However, I won’t force you to be in my presence anymore. When that day comes, if you say you no longer need me-- than, you won’t see me ever again. It will be as if I never existed.”       “I’ll make sure that I disappear from your life without a trace. Think of it as an apology of sorts-- something that’ll allow you to forget about me.”      “Letting you go would be the hardest thing for me, but it’s not impossible.” 

[nullumregressum-archive-deactiv]

      Mikaela couldn’t understand why he was apologizing. He brought this onto himself but yet he was apologizing– .. No. He was already fully aware of his reasoning for his apology. He shook his head. 

     “… Don’t apologize if you’re planning to do it anyways.” At the very least, he was going to be granted a bit of freedom. “… When those five years pass, do you really plan to help me search for my family?” He wasn’t asking to assist him, he was just wondering if that was what he would do after those years. “… Do you really plan to stay by my side after those years?’ 

[lethallevi-blog]

     “Yes, I do.” The answer came immediately, and without delay. There was no hesitation that allowed for any kind of thought, any kind of debate. The ravens mind was clean cut-- clear. The man’s mind was as sharp as a blade, and knew that any delay in his speech would only further the others doubt. That was something that Levi did not desire. Did not want.

    “Isn’t that what a person does, when they love another? Stick by each other? Help each other?” After everything was said and done, if the blonde would allow it-- Levi was more than willing to help him. For he knew how valuable the blond’s family was-- how much he treasured this... ‘Yuu-chan’ person. Perhaps Levi wanted to retain some kind of importance to the other after the time requirement--? “I love you, so-- letting you go will be the hardest thing for me.” 

[nullumregressum-archive-deactiv]

    “…” While he wasn’t fond of the idea, it was a condition to get him out of his cell and he would have to deal with it. “… Fine.” Mikaela knew that he couldn’t escape from this man nor did he have the desire to at this point. He was now fully aware that this man was capable of restraining the blond. Even if that was true, he couldn’t even bear to swallow his pride and admit such a thing. Not that it mattered much anymore.

    His crimson orbs dropped to the hand which rested on top of his own. He loosened his grip at the sheets. “… I know …” Perhaps .. it wouldn’t be so bad to stay five years … with Levi. He didn’t mind too much now. Levi certainly was  … one of the better humans out of all those damned humans in this world. Even if he didn’t mind, he knew he would grow impatient with time. 

[lethallevi-blog]

     In reality, Levi did feel a great deal of sympathy towards the other. He knew that the other wanted out-- knew that more than anything, he just wanted to find what little remnants of his family were left-- and hold onto them. The man understood that-- understood that well enough, yet, he couldn’t grant the other freedom just yet. Nor could he tell him that if conditions change, if his plan moved along quicker than expected-- that he would be let out sooner. For that would ruin all he had worked to build, and all that would be built.

    “... If you know that... and understand that-- then, thats all I can really ask for.” It was now, that the man retracted his hand-- “I cannot ask for you to not desire freedom, nor can I ask that you wish to stay here. It is not the nature of a bird to wish to have it’s wings clipped.”      “So... it’s for that reason, that I apologize.              “I’m sorry, for having to keep you here.”

[lethallevi-blog]

"Mon dieu ... You seem rather fun to play with." In nearly a blink of an eye, he appeared behind him and slipped an arm under the other's and to his neck to wrap his fingers tightly around his neck. His other arm captured the other's waist, pulling him closer to his own body. "Say, why don't we play a little game, mon petit humain?" He whispered into his ear.

      “...” The man tried his best to restrain his distain for this situation, although the visible distasteful expression, and the slight twitching of his eye probably gave it away. Levi wasn’t one that like to be... touched... by strangers. Especially those he did not trust, or hold any kind of positive feelings towards. Having never met this man in his life-- of course he was going to be repulsed. 

     “... If you don’t move your lips away from my ear, I’m going to tear them off.” 

[nullumregressum-archive-deactiv]

    “…. I just don’t want to be down here anymore.” He didn’t care where they were as long as he was away from this cell. “… I swear you have a fetish for collars honestly.” While he wasn’t particularly fond of the idea, it served as a condition to be out of this cell. Perhaps he could somehow deal with it, despite his displeasure. 

     “…” The more the days passed, the less he thought about wanting to escape. Even if Levi did consider changing his methods of confinement, his desire to escape didn’t heighten. Why? He could use this opportunity to escape and search for Yuichiro but … his emotions were holding him back. In all honesty, he didn’t know if Yuichiro was dead or alive. What if he found him dead even after all these years of searching then what would he do? He tightened his grip on the sheets and his brows furrowed at the thought. That’s right … His only reason for living was for Yuichiro.

[lethallevi-blog]

     “I don’t...” The man protested, a small sigh escaping his lips. While he did find the sight of the other with that kind of thing... pleasing-- It was more in a ‘cute’ kind of way, rather than a sexual kind of way.       ... least... he thought so-- 

    “... Although, if you really don’t want to be down here... I should be able to make some kind of device to allow that.” Something like a shock collar... that would restrict him to the property around the home. Something of that kind of sort would probably be best... “It’ll constrict you to the property line... thats about as far as I can let you go.” Least that way though... the other would get to see the sun, the time of day-- etc.      “...” Gently-- the man placed his hand over the others-- which clutched at the sheets. “... This won’t be for forever. Just until the time constraint is up... Remember that.” 

[nullumregressum-archive-deactiv]

     “….” It was far too obvious that he was hesitant about speaking his mind. Perhaps it was because it was a request. He gripped the sheets with a hand. He’s never gone so far to request someone of something. He always had himself he could rely on and didn’t feel the need to rely on others. Perhaps he was simply shy about asking. “….” That sounded … ridiculous. 

    “… I’m …” He thought carefully about his words, scared of the other’s possible refusal. “… I don’t …” He swallowed. “… I don’t want to stay down here anymore.” It was far too dull … and he didn’t like it down here at all. It didn’t matter if he was accustomed to it, he didn’t enjoy being down here. 

   “… I …–” He stopped, deciding to cease his request for now. He simply voiced how he felt. Perhaps his feelings also served as a way to indirectly ask him to take him out of here. 

[lethallevi-blog]

     “...” A small sigh left the mans lips. While he wanted to honor the others request... while he wanted to give the other everything he wanted-- That was... out of the question.       ... Or maybe it wasn’t--?       Perhaps... something like a visit outside could be arranged... 

    “... I’ll see what I can do.” Running a hand through his hair, the raven directed his eyes above-- spinning a plan in his head that would allow such a thing. “... Keeping you confined down here isn’t morally just. I’ll still have to contain you of course... Although, perhaps it would be in your best interest to find another way to do so.”     “... It may involve you having to wear a kind of collar, though.” 

[nullumregressum-archive-deactiv]

     “…. I’m .. fine.” He could barely feel any sensations from their previous activities. He didn’t even realize that his lower half was supposed to ache when he woke up but his abilities as a vampire was most likely the cause of the lack of pain. Not that it mattered that much.

    “….” The atmosphere between them had grown somewhat .. awkward. Well, not that there was much conversation between the two anyways. He glanced around the room as if he was searching for something to do. Now that he thought about it, this place was awfully dull. Five years was far too long. He could be using all that time just searching for his family but Levi most likely wouldn’t allow that until after those years had passed. “… Yu -chan…” How he longed to see him again. It had been far too long. 

     He shifted his gaze towards the vampire hunter. “….” He contemplated if he should request to be taken out of this cell. He wanted to be somewhere else other than this dull cell. “… I …” His voice was clearly hesitant. “…. I– … No.. nevermind.” 

[lethallevi-blog]

     At first, the man believed that the other was lying about the pain. Although, then he remembered the situation involving the others humanity... For some reason, the man had found himself neglecting the fact that other was indeed a vampire. Perhaps that was because he had gotten so used to his presence...? Perhaps that was because deep down, he was human? Either way, he cursed at himself mentally for his foolishness. More than likely... almost all, if not all the damage the man had done to the others nether-regions was probably healed...      ... It seemed as though the other had wanted to say something, but had stopped himself. This fact... bugged the raven. Not just because of his own curiosity, but because he didn’t want the other to hold back his thoughts. Poison within the mind, left unchecked-- would rot away at the psyche. Especially over the course of 5 long years. 

    “... Speak your mind if you need to. I don’t mind.” 

[nullumregressum-archive-deactiv]

     Mikaela opened his eyes, and immediately caught a blurry figure in his sight. Levi? He lazily raised a hand to rub at his eyes. “…Mn..” He sat up, shivering as cold air hit his exposed skin. “….” He glanced around for a brief moment before returning his gaze to the other, who laid next to him, seemingly asleep. “….” Memories flashed in his mind of their previous activity together. The two had completely succumbed to pleasure. He could recall how their bodies connected in heated passion and they had discarded the thought of the entire world, completely drowning in the pleasure they both had gained from each other. He rubbed at his face, releasing a sigh. The blond didn’t … regret it but he was … conflicted, like always.  

     He slowly but hesitantly, reached to play with the other’s hair. He had thought after such an activity, he would get a clear answer but as a result, only pleasure was what he received. He acknowledged this man and he accepted him. He allowed him to do whatever he wanted to him. What did this mean? Was he just simply desperate for touch? Even before he met Levi, he had never desired for it but he was alone during those times. It was clearly a different story now. “…–” He paused his action, realizing what he was doing. He retreated his hand. “… Damn it …” 

[lethallevi-blog]

      After a few moments-- the man awoke. Eyes cracked open slowly, squinting  just a bit to shield his eyes from the dim light that enveloped the room. As the memories from earlier began to be processed within his mind, a series of emotions swept over the raven. Regret, worry, and self-centered hatred only to name a few. Despite what he had said... despite what he had believed in-- he had given into the desire for pleasure. His self-control had given way-- and he had given into temptation.        He had done the very thing he had vowed he wouldn’t do--        Give in.       “...” Looking to the blonde that laid beside him, he saw that the other was already awake. Just how long had the raven been sleeping...? What time was it anyway...? In this basement with no windows or glimpses to the outside world-- it was hard to tell weather it was day or night. Time merely seemed to tick by slowly, like sand through an hourglass.       “... How are you feeling--?” Despite saying how he would be ‘gentle’... towards the end, he had been anything but-- Because of this, worry for the others condition was inevitable. 

[nullumregressum-archive-deactiv]

      Mikaela’s lips pursed into a line as he begun questioning his own emotions again. He knew he wouldn’t come to a conclusion but the question forced him to do so.  Perhaps he did desire him, perhaps he didn’t.  

      “…. Maybe I’m trying to satisfy your own.” That wasn’t necessarily a lie but maybe there was a form of desire within the blond. “… But, I know that isn’t all..” 

      Without a warning, Mikaela pushed his shoulder down, forcing the other to lay flat on his back. He crawled towards his lap and straddled it. “…” He leaned down, closing the distance between their lips once again. 

[lethallevi-blog]

      Despite the mans best efforts-- that emotion crept into his heart once again. The lingering feeling of hope that told the raven there was something more to this. Some kind of meaning behind the others actions. A meaning that depicted the deepest desire within the mans heart.        The desire for the reciprocation of his love. 

     For now, he would try and bury that hope the best he could. For he knew that when this was all over-- all that hope would bring was pain.       For now-- he would allow himself to indulge in this. He would allow himself to forget reality.       With that decided, Levi brought up a hand, and snaked it around the back of the others neck. Turning the kiss from a simple gesture of affection and desire, to one of lust. 

[nullumregressum-archive-deactiv]

     “… Iknow .. so why don’t you get the message already?” Mikaela had already granted him permission to do whatever he wanted. He could care less. 

     “…” It was funny to think that he’s driven himself until this point. It didn’t matter anymore because he held no self-worth for himself. It didn’t matter if Levi did anything at this point. As long as it was him and no one else, he could care less. Perhaps he’s stopped questioning his own feelings as well. “Just do whatever you want, Levi.”

[lethallevi-blog]

      “...” Was the other unable to say it...? Or was he just choosing not to? Or... perhaps he didn’t even know that he wanted it? Questions continued to spiral in the ravens head-- furthering his growing headache. Perhaps... he should help the other clear his head? Surely after a bit of contact-- the other would be able to tell what he wanted. Would be able to tell weather or not they desired this. 

     “... Is that truly what you desire?” Raising a hand up-- he grazed it along the others cheek. “... or are you merely trying to satisfy my own?” 

[carlosmoya]

Just as I thought, your wings are real, Levi.

[nullumregressum-archive-deactiv]

      Once the kiss had ended a second time, light pants left his lips and his breathes, uneven. He couldn’t honestly understand how he’s brought himself this far. Perhaps he really didn’t care at this point. It felt like it didn’t matter if he held feelings or not for this man. “….” He came to a realization. He simply desired for Levi at this point. Was that the case? Was it all to it? Uncertainty returned once again.

      His lips pursed into a line for a moment. “…  I .. don’t care… Just do whatever you want, Levi..”

[lethallevi-blog]

     That line again... the line that tested his patience-- and made him question what was right, and what was wrong. While he knew that he would hate himself if he went further than this-- and that he risked the other potentially holding that same emotion against him-- Something in him told him to act against his thoughts. To give into his desires. Perhaps it was the way the other was responding...? Perhaps it was the slipping of his restraint...? Either way-- the man was considering it.       However, there still needed to be consent. Simply saying ‘do whatever you want’ wasn’t good enough for the raven. 

    “... You do realize that entails, correct...?”

[nullumregressum-archive-deactiv]

     “M-.. mn..” The more he indulged himself, the more he began to lose his right mind. His feelings towards this man remained uncertain however, there was a part of him that desired for something. He couldn’t figure out what he wanted. 

    He parted from the kiss for a brief moment to catch his breath. His sapphire hues were averted however, he met the other’s gaze as he leaned in for another kiss.

[lethallevi-blog]

     The only kind of sense that remained in the ravens head was confusion. Why was it that he was doing this...? Why was the other going along with this...? Questions continued to spiral in the back of his mind-- but it was only a small static that hummed in the background. Un-affecting the present. 

     The raven was the one to part this time-- breaths shaky and uneven. Uncontrolled.      “... If you continue to tease me like this... something might happen that you’ll regret...” The man warned-- voice low, lustful. It was already clear that he desired the other-- and this kind of treatment was wearing out his self control. 

[nullumregressum-archive-deactiv]

     Mikaela braced himself for another kiss and slowly closed his eyes as their lips finally touched once again. This warmth was something he never wished he could part from. 

    “…” He pulled away from the kiss momentarily and turned on his side before leaning in to resume the kiss. He reached to wrap his arms the other’s neck, bringing him closer until their bodies were pressed against each other. His heart began to race and he pressed deeper into the kiss. This was different compared to their previous sessions … He didn’t want to push him away this time.

[lethallevi-blog]

     The others reaction... surprised the raven to say the least. He hadn’t expected the other to be so... eager. He didn’t expect him to be so willing-- so drawn to him. Why was this--? Why was the other so keen on this? It confused the raven to no end-- but it wasn’t like he thought about it much. It wasn’t like he thought about much at all whilst they were like this--       The heat of the kiss drowned out his thoughts-- drowned out his better judgement-- 

     Perhaps this was a good thing... although, perhaps it wasn’t. While he desperately desired this kind of contact with the other-- it caused his better judgement to wane along with his restraint.

[lethallevi-blog]

💖

Send “💖” and my muse will admit something they find cute about yours.

     “...” A small sigh escaped the mans pale lips-- “Honestly, your smile is just about the only cute thing this squad has--”