"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Three Goblin Art
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
oozey mess
art blog(derogatory)
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
sheepfilms
Stranger Things
@theartofmadeline
RMH
Product Placement
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Acquired Stardust
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dirt enthusiast
Love Begins
Game of Thrones Daily
shark vs the universe
h
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@malpractice-morale
The thing I dislike about alt histories where real life monarchs have been made both gay and unproblematic is that it seems to imply that gay monarchs have not existed in history but if they did they would be cool. Which isn’t true. They have existed and they were just as bad as straight people. And I think it is disrespectful to real queer history to pretend that queer people have never been absolute bastards
i know in my heart that post-outing, ilya is using the FUCK out of "because you are homophobic?" when he's not getting his way
you will not let him have the seat he wants on this bus? ah, he sees. clearly the homophobia.
you will not give him the lemon-lime gatorade and are trying to keep it for yourself? you think gays should have to drink only fruit punch? he is telling twitter IMMEDIATELY.
you will not come cuddle with him instead of doing the dishes? just because he is queer? "ilya, i am literally your gay husband." "yes, violence from within the alphabet is the worst kind. 😔" "🙄"
Lmao, and I bet he learned it from Harris.
Like when he first moved to Ottawa, Harris doesn't know what to make of a russian player with a shiny orthodox cross hanging on his neck. But he has never shied away from being himself so tries to make friends like he does with everyone.
Slowly he learns Ilya isn't like that and is quite comfortable with Harris being more outwardly gay, and even enjoys joking with Harris about it.
So one day they are talking in the locker room and the coach comes in and tells Harris OK get out now, the team has to practice. And Harris is like oh, so now you're kicking out the only gay guy here? I see. That's really homophobic.
Ilya is struck with jealousy, esp as he sees him make this joke more often.
One day, Ilya tells Harris he can't stay late to film a video for social media and Harris calls him homophobic. Ilya has to pinch his thigh to stop him from informing Harris that he is the one being homophobic by asking Ilya to cancel his plans to drive home to suck his boyfriend's dick.
what? oh sweetheart no, you're not weirding me out at all. you're weirding me in. keep talking, freak
reblog if you too are bi and confused or support others’ right to be bi and confused
I made a bad comic and now you have to look at it
a scene must be included PRIOR to sex where the characters READ their birth certificates OUT LOUD so the reader will know they were born on the SAME DATE to avoid any disgusting AGE GAPS
you know what lesson i took away from “feet of clay”, more than any other? the cost of freedom. not the cost of gaining freedom, or of keeping it, which has been paid dearly by millions of people over thousands of years, and is different every time, but the cost of having freedom, which has always been, and is the same for everyone: responsibility. if what you do is yours alone to choose, then it’s also yours alone to answer for. the world seems to have a lot of people in it who could stand to learn that lesson.
This is Thelockpickinglaywer and what I have for you today is something very interesting. As you can tell by the agonizing screams of the damned, I have recently left the mortal coil and, upon arriving at my destination, was informed that I did not qualify for residence. I was taken by an angel of the Lord to the mouth of Hell, and when the angel left, he closed this rather large red door and sealed it with a divine key. Although I’ve never seen this particular model of lock before, I’ve spent some time investigating the cylinder with this small shard of bone. By sticking it in the back of the keyway and slowly pulling it out, I can tell that this is a five-pin tumbler lock, that can easily be single-pin picked using this shed demon scale as a tensioner tool. Let’s try that right now. Alright, nothing on one. Nothing on two. Three is binding firmly, click out of that. Nothing on four. Five is binding, little click there, back to one. Once again, nothing. Two is binding, and we’ve dropped into a false set. Little click out of three. Nothing on four. Little click on one, counter-rotation on two, and we got this open. Okay folks, I think the main takeaway here is that no matter how much faith you place in a mechanism designed to ensure your safety, be it spiritual or physical, there is always a state in which it can fail. In any case, thank you for watching. Memento mori, and I’ll see you next time.
lpl hell post faq
“what possessed you to write this?”
it was 2 am. i had spent the time i should have been sleeping watching lpl videos and reading through a book on christianity in the middle ages. one thing led to another. here’s the image that inspired me to make the post.
(wikipedia link)
“i can read it in his voice!”
i intentionally emulated his manner of speaking. this was because i had spent several hours that day binging his content. also it makes it much funnier.
“what did lpl do to end up in hell?”
be a lawyer. though breaking into his ex-girlfriend’s backdoor certainly didn’t help his case.
“he didn’t check to see if it was a fluke!”
doylist: yeah, this was an error on my part.
watsonian: the lawyer was trying to get the heck out of dodge before the angels realized he’d escaped.
“i can’t believe hell is locked up with a 5 pin tumbler lock!”
doylist: realistically it would be a warded lock, which is even less secure, but lpl doesn’t make enough videos on warded locks for me to know what he says while picking them.
watsonian: masterlock is in cahoots with the devil. a single spool pin separates us from the writhing masses of the damned.
“mcnally would just hit it with a rock!”
the rock method really only works with padlocks. i imagine this lock as embedded within the door. mcnally would use a single sided jiggler, or a pokey stabby thing, or perhaps a bump hammer. then, once he was out, you’d start to hear the intro of bfg division coming from no particular direction.
“that second- to-last line goes so hard!”
yeah it does. honestly i’m not sure where that came from. i’ve never cooked like that before or since. this person gets it though
“that last line goes even harder!”
remember you will die! but don’t forget to live.
have you guys heard about the greenland shark. some crazy shit happening there.
they are sexually mature at ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS OLD.
their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.
longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years
toxic flesh
has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.
lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion
largest genome of any shark
eats everything including moose and polar bears
ma'am you are delightfully strange and I'm privileged to share a planet with you
this post prompted me to refresh my memory on Greenland Shark Facts and this detail about how they feed goes so hard
just vacuuming up their unsuspecting prey. whole !
I completely forgot until this moment but one time I tried online dating and the first person I matched with asked if I was actually asexual or if I just put that in my profile to filter out creeps. Wild shit
I was gonna ask how far into a relationship I’d have to lie about that before it was appropriate to drop the act but actually I think I’d prefer that the first thought people have when I say “I don’t want sex” wasn’t “my boundaries are a test and will disappear if you prove yourself worthy”
Also. “I believe you’re dishonest about your needs and desires and are the sort of person to play mind games to test your partner” is a wild thing to swipe right on. Girl are you okay
the best fanfiction you've ever read was written by a woman in her 40s before she made dinner for her kids. it was written by a teenager after school when they should've been studying for a history test. and a barista came up with the idea while they cleaned the espresso machine and busser fact-checked it on their break and the post-doc edited between writing grant proposals and the nurse apologized for typos in the notes after a long shift and behind every drabble and one-shot and multi-chapter fic there is a person with a wonderful and interesting and chaotic life and it is such a privilege that we get to be apart of it because they decided to do this thing we all share, for fun.
with how much shane enjoys getting pinned down, i'm laughing about the idea of ilya who knows academically that he and shane are equally matched but who never really transfers that thought to the bedroom because he and shane playfight/wrestle as foreplay but shane enjoys "losing" these particular struggles and thus doesn't really ever use his full strength beyond the opening few seconds
which means the first time shane is riding him and is close to finishing and thus shoves him the FUCK back down when ilya is about to sit up and turn them hits ilya like a fucking FREIGHT TRAIN
man is getting held down with a hand to his chest with a force shane hasn't actually used in bed before and he is about to pass! out! from the force of the horny crashing over him
#just EXTREMELY funny to imagine the o-OH expression on ilya's face #like he knows that he and shane are equally matched on the ice and they've slammed each other around enough #to know that shane can put some fucking FORCE behind it #but in their dynamic in bed shane likes getting shoved down and held in place #which means ilya did NOT see it coming when shane actually broke out his real strength to keep him in place because he was so close #shane gets his orgasm and ilya gets approximately 3.7 new kinks he plans on investigating further at his earliest convenience
Sin cgi pierde mucho
Sound on
It looks like it can't get any better, but I am begging you, turn the sound on
I don't know this sport.
oh i'm going to misusle and straight up fuckle this knowledge so badly
Happy Pride!
Every pride, you must reblog this. No exceptions
I love that four different people on my feed scheduled this joyous person to reblog by 8am on June 1. I look forward to seeing this a dozen more times today.
Obligatory truck I don’t trust reblog
These are fantastic!
I checked the notes for the artist's name and didn't find it, so I did a screen cap and reverse image search and found him (Andrew Scott) in a few places
Andrew Scott is an emerging American artist born in 1991, best known for his shattered glass work and conceptual frame alterations. Andrew c
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