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AnasAbdin
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JBB: An Artblog!
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we're not kids anymore.
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@letsim
pain-always-hurts has set her suicide date she made a deal with me , for every note this gets she will push that date one day back , this is real she has tried before. All I ask is that you please reblog and maybe send her cute messages thank you
I feel devastangly alone. "As long as you love yourself youll never be alone." Self love was never one of my strong points. I dont hate myself but i know i can do better. After a life of disappointments and self sabotage youd think I know better by now. I dont know what you expect me to do with myself after saying such blatantly hurtful things. I feel used and trampled upon but i know I'll let it carry on. If you must step on me and reject me you better succeed.
Back to glasses for truck driving. 7/28/17
7/16/17
7-11-17
Is it safe to say its over?
I dont know where my head has been.. or why my heart led astray.. I miss you more than these words or i could say. You're beautiful, goofy, creative, supportive and cared for me more than i deserved. In the end i couldnt be true to you, to us.. My soul weeped as you sobbed, begged me not to do it.. my face, my words, my actions will never portray what i really felt as you walked away If things could be different id make it so. I should have waited until i was on the road But, how many times will we fall, fail and barely get back up.. I couldnt see in you the woman i knew i needed Shes not you, she never will be.. shes not you and i cant replace you. I love you today, tomorrow, forever I love you with all of me and thats why i had to let go. You'll never understand and maybe neither do i.. what felt right then feels empty and without meaning now If i could take it back, i think i would but how many times will i watch your soul bleed as i wordlessly stand by. I cant explain, i dont know why but you lost me long ago. I miss you tonight, tomorrow and each day after you.
Be humble, bitch sit down.
I just want to talk to you.. share with you.. give love to you. Why cant i let it go? Please tell me how you have let me go? I need to know. I just need to know.. you. Come back? Im not sure i can wait until my next life to meet you again.. Maybe im obsessed with what i cant have? Or just obsessed with you.. or hopelessly in love... Well just stick to obsessed with what i cant have. And ill repeat it like a mantra to get through the aching longing i have for you.
Theres nothing like the texture of meat.. flesh. Flesh is what you crave. What i crave. Flesh.. like a zombie... i do believe we werent meant to consume animal meat unless called upon for surivial.. but we slaughter these animals by the ton.. Every living thing has soul.. soul is that piece of godliness that connects us all to the divine and to each other. Pigs, cows and chickens also have soul.. if you look into the eyes of a cow you see that same sort of.. shine or like a tell of awareness we see in our dogs and cats.. and each other they feel it. They do.. bred and murdered for their flesh.. Dont mind the vegetarian rant.. trying to get over the craving for flesh..
Life is so much wiser and kinder than your mind imagines. Trust & Be Still.
Mooji (via spiritualgateway)
Good Vibes Only.
Im tired of crying in the middle of the night when the voices and the insomnia kick in.
It's been a looong time Tumblr and a lot has happened. A lot. But, the lady and I are doing well enough. The biggest cloud in my life at the moment would be quitting smoking. Marijuana and cigarettes. Down to about two cigs a day and the bud is gonna have to be on hold so I can piss clean. Deja still gets to smoke though. I won't be selfish enough to say that she can't smoke cause I'm not smoking, I thought about it though. Things have been pretty good with us lately. Riley is coming along. Straight tired of getting fucked in the ass by weed men all the damn time. Simple job. Buy the shit, weigh the shit and sell the shit. Everyone gotta play with such simple business manners. I feel more motivated than ever to become more fit.. not just so I can fit the wardrobe I haven't been able to touch in two years but also so I can top baby girl, fight some niggahs if I had to and adequately survive in case of dooms day. I hope Tumblr is well. I'll post a pic of Riley. She's learning a lot of new things but still a stubborn little bitch I ever knew one.
